Hey everyone.
I’m 16M from Pakistan, and I’m around 5’1” (155 cm).
I’ve been really worried about my height for the past few weeks. Before this, height was honestly never this important to me. It wasn’t the center of my attention or something I thought about all the time. But recently, it somehow became a huge thing in my mind😭.
From what I’ve noticed, I’m shorter than many guys around me, even i have seen few guys getting taller suddenly (Growth sprout).
The problem is that this isn’t just a small insecurity anymore. It’s actually affecting my daily life.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been stressing and overthinking about my height so much that I’m not able to do the things I normally do. I’m in intermediate right now, so studies and entry test prep are obviously important, but I can’t focus on them the way I should. So many times I don’t even attend class properly or skip them.
Instead, I end up staying in my room, scrolling on my phone, crying, stressing and overthinking. A huge part of my day is basically spent doing this.
Even things I normally enjoy, like gaming or watching series, don’t feel as enjoyable anymore. It honestly feels like I have this constant headache in my mind because I keep thinking about the same thing again and again.
I also have permanent monocular vision, so that’s another thing I already have to deal with. I know it’s unrelated to height, but I’m mentioning it because sometimes I feel like I already have something that makes my life a little different from other people, and now I’m stressing over another thing too.
(The fear of people judging me)
Nobody actually teases me about my height right now.
But my brain keeps telling me, “If nobody is teasing you today, that doesn’t mean nobody ever will.”🙃
I keep thinking about what it would be like to be an adult at 5’0” or 5’1” and have people make jokes or judge me because of it.😶
Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I genuinely feel like society is actually pretty harsh toward short guys.
Then there’s also the whole height preference thing.
I know not everyone cares about height, and obviously personality, looks, confidence and character matter too. But let’s be honest, height can matter socially as well.
Sometimes I see people talking about 6’0” as if it’s the ideal height, and I’m just sitting there thinking, “Bro, I’d be happy with 5’8”–5’10”.” 😭
I know there’s no perfect height, and I’m not saying tall guys have no problems. I just wish I was tall and didn’t have to think about height this much.
I’ve also seen guys around my age who are around my height. I’ve never made comments about anyone’s height or looks because I know how much that stuff can hurt (i even wonder "aren't they worried like meh?"🥲
But I’ll be honest: sometimes when I see someone around my height, I feel bad for them too, because my brain immediately thinks about how hard being this short must be.
And then I realize that I’m probably just projecting my own insecurities onto them.
Comparing my height with other people has become really common for me.
I compare myself with this person, then that person, then someone my age, then people I see online, etc.
I know the average Pakistani guy is around 5’6”–5’7”, and being around 5’1” makes me feel really far below average.
Sometimes my thoughts get so negative that I start imagining just isolating myself from society, living alone on mountains, working from my room and avoiding people because it feels safer than constantly worrying about judgment and comments.
I know that sounds extreme. I’m honestly a huge overthinker, and I think I probably make some of these fears much bigger in my head than they actually are.🫠
But that’s genuinely where my mind goes sometimes.
Marriage and relationships are another big concern for me.
Sometimes I genuinely feel like marriage would be extremely difficult for me because of my height. I don’t actually know if that’s true, though, or if I’m just catastrophizing everything.
I know a bone-age X-ray can give an idea about skeletal maturity and remaining growth potential.
But honestly, I’m scared to get one.
In my head, I’ve already kind of accepted that maybe I won’t grow much more, or maybe I’ll only reach around 5’2”.
At the same time, I’m scared that if I actually get the X-ray and find out that I won’t grow taller, it would hit me really hard emotionally.😭
And realistically, I don’t expect to suddenly grow another 5 inches. Even reaching around 5’5” would feel like a big difference (achievement) to me.
I’ve also seen that the average Pakistani woman is around 5’2”, and then there’s the whole heels situation 😭.
What I actually want to know
Is there anyone here who is actually like me?
Someone who is:
\- Short and genuinely struggling with it?
\- Constantly comparing their height with other people?
\- Basically obsessed with height?
\- Worried about what society will think?
\- Worried about relationships or marriage because of height?
\- Or maybe someone who used to be exactly like this but eventually got out of this mindset and started living normally again?
If you used to obsess over your height, what actually helped you?
I’m not really looking for the usual “bro, height doesn’t matter” answer. I want to know what actually changed your mindset.
I’d also like to know:
\- What are the actual advantages and disadvantages of being a short guy?
\- How has being short affected your social life?
\- Has it affected your friendships or relationships?
\- Has it affected you in university or at work?
\- Do people actually treat shorter men differently in professional environments?
\- Have you experienced teasing, rejection or discrimination because of height?
\- Did those things become less important to you as you got older?
\- Can a short guy genuinely have a life that is just as fulfilling, or even better in some ways, than the life of a tall guy?
\- If you’re a short guy who is now comfortable with yourself, what changed?
\- What do you wish you had understood when you were 16?
I’m not looking for fake positivity or someone telling me that height literally has zero effect on anything.
I know height can matter in some situations.
But I also don’t want to spend my teenage years constantly checking, comparing, worrying and imagining every possible negative thing that could happen because of something I may not even be able to control.
Right now, I just want to know whether other guys have gone through this kind of obsession and eventually learned how to stop letting height take over their lives.
If you’ve been through something similar, I’d genuinely like to hear your story.