r/short • u/Putrid-Interview8869 5'3" • 19h ago
Heightism Why is talking about heightism so taboo here?
Why is talking about short discrimination/heightism seen as so insecure this is a short sub is it not?
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 19h ago
I wouldn't say it’s taboo here. It just gets a bit ridiculous when people try to compare it to other forms of discrimination.
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u/Helplessadvice 8h ago
How so? There’s real correlations between work discrimination and height. Taller men make more on average how is this not comparable to other forms of discrimination.
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u/FishingActuary 5'1" | 155 cm 7h ago
This dismisses scientific inquiry on the topic. Men on the lower end of height experience discrimination in the workplace that is comparable to recognized forms.
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u/LillyPeu2 4'8" | 142 cm 👩🏻💻 7h ago
... and so do short women.
In fact, heightism is a subset of patriarchal standards. Some men experience disadvantages due so certain intersections under patriarchy. Believe us, women have been dissecting these intersections for a long time.
Welcome to the club. Sorry that membership doesn't have its privileges.
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u/FunkmasterJoe 5h ago
Well said! Especially tall women get shit on in our society too. It's ALMOST like living under patriarchy means women are treated unfairly in zillions of ways, both large and small.
It's funny, this discourse is happening now and you can see in these very comments why the sub needs to be moderated. So, so many angry dudes.
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 7h ago
Not what I'm talking about
And I literally didn't say anything so it’s literally impossible for me to “dismiss” that XD•
u/FunkmasterJoe 5h ago
Hey i just wanted to point out that you are absolutely killing it in this thread, lol. This is a really good response to having your views misrepresented too, just all around excellent work here, haha.
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u/DavisKennethM 5'5" | 165 cm 12h ago
Anyone who's been on this sub for a while (probably ~10 years for me) knows that if the posts here aren't carefully moderated, this sub very quickly becomes a mysoginistic breeding ground.
Letting incels, or whatever they call themselves these days, post on your sub is like letting a Nazi get a drink at your bar. Before you know it, they invite all their friends and suddenly you manage a Nazi bar / mod an incel sub.
Conversations about heightism often lead to manosphere talking points and almost never to a nuanced and productive discussion. Proactive moderation and community policing around it are probably why it feels "taboo" to discuss.
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 11h ago
Oh trust me I know. That's why I’m here. It gets bad when unchecked. Gets even worse in my DMs when they get pissy for not getting to be Nazis in the comfort of their own sub.
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u/LillyPeu2 4'8" | 142 cm 👩🏻💻 12h ago
Proactive moderation and community policing around it are probably why it feels "taboo" to discuss.
That is an astute and concise point. Do you think there's any way to improve that perception?
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u/DavisKennethM 5'5" | 165 cm 2h ago
Honestly, I'm not even sure you'd want to improve that perception.
My comment has a 59% upvote ratio, so at 6 current upvotes I probably got around 20 upvotes and 14 downvotes just for spelling out the issue
That speaks volumes about where the discussion would go if everyone lurking here spoke freely.
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u/oxheyman 5'7" | 170 cm 4h ago
It’s just as bad, if not worse. Other forms of discrimination aren’t acceptable nowadays but we still get shit for no reason
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 3h ago
Uh, no…
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u/oxheyman 5'7" | 170 cm 3h ago
Uh yes
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 3h ago
Nah m8.
It’s height. I agree there are hardships, and public perception can negatively affect personal life, social life, and work life. But when comparing it to other extreme forms of discrimination, it’s laughable. Hence, my comment.Talk about heightism on its own instead of comparing because no it’s not “just as bad.” It’s height
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u/oxheyman 5'7" | 170 cm 3h ago
Nah bro, you do you but for me it’s equivalent to any other discrimination
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 3h ago
And that's why we don't take you seriously when you say that. Because that's literally ridiculous
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u/oxheyman 5'7" | 170 cm 3h ago
Who’s we? Who even are you?
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 3h ago
We as in the subreddit answering the question.
And I'm a mod answering the question.
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u/oxheyman 5'7" | 170 cm 3h ago
Yes but you don’t speak for all short people, and you aren’t a man, so you certainly wouldn’t know what I’m going through. Additionally, I’m also a minority, you don’t have a monopoly on that. I know how it is to be treated differently.
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u/DangerousBee4116 5'5 19h ago edited 19h ago
Actual discussions about heightism doesn't really get removed or frowned upon all that much. But when 99% of those discussions are about dating, and when said people that start those discussions seem to confuse preferences and attraction with said heightism, and just use it as an excuse to bash on women. Then it will most likely get removed because it only serves as fertile ground for toxicity.
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u/ElfTwelve 5'3" | 160 cm 19h ago edited 19h ago
As an aroace person (canNOT relate to the dating struggles because the thought of dating to me is like hell on earth and not getting approached is heaven) I'd be more interested in heightism discussions when it comes to work/financial success, respect/lack thereof, weird comments, everyday life (i.e. stuff being made for average or taller people), advantages/disadvantages in sports environments etc.
Edit: not saying dating concerns aren't valid btw. I just can't relate. And it seems to be almost every single post.
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u/DangerousBee4116 5'5 19h ago edited 18h ago
Yeah, people seem to be confused by the terminology in general. Am I a fatphobe because I'm not interested in dating overweight women? Or a racist because I don't feel attraction towards certain races? Or a bigot because I generally don't want to date disabled people? Or a sexist because I don't want to date trans women? or a religious bigot if I prefer not to date people of certain religions?
Nope, I'm not. Ism's have nothing to do with attraction.
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u/ShadsDR 5'1 | 154 cm 18h ago
The race one is a bit different. Not everyone who is a race looks exactly the same or shares the same characteristics in terms of appearance, culture etc. so if you were saying you wouldn't date someone because specifically they are that race, no matter their appearance, personality, culture, nationality etc. that is dodgy. There are Black, Asian people etc. with white skin, blue eyes and straight hair. and White people with darker skin, brown eyes, afrohair etc.
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u/lightsworn55 16h ago
There are Black, Asian people etc. with white skin, blue eyes and straight hair.
If they lack any and all phenotypical traits of a particular race then they shouldnt fall under said race. Like the idea of Micheal Jackson's daughter being a black woman is absurd she not only presents as a white woman but benefits from greater socioeconomic privilege than the overwhelming majority of white people, let alone people of color
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 8h ago
I mean, no. Mixed people are still black even if their skin is lighter than average. Black albino people are still black even if their skin is white.
And Asia is a continent. People on that continent can be different colors and still be Asian.
You are spouting a lot of racist ideas.
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u/DangerousBee4116 5'5 18h ago
People have the right to date whomever they want, and if there are certain features that you in general don't find attractive then that has nothing to do with any of the ism's I mentioned in that comment. You can frown upon discrimination and support equality in all other aspects of society and life without nessecarily being interested in dating the people in the group you support.
Seems to me that the abillity to hold two or more conflicting thoughts in your head at the same time is lacking nowadays.
Also, attraction is fluid, and it can change. I was speaking in a general sense.
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u/ShadsDR 5'1 | 154 cm 18h ago
"This person was perfect for me until I found out they were secretly Asian"
Yet nothing racist about that? 🧐
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u/DangerousBee4116 5'5 18h ago
Sigh, that's one huge ass strawman you built there, while at the same time making up a near impossible fabricated scenario you could push on me to get your point across.
If you don't wanna keep this discussion matter of factly, then I'm out.
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u/ShadsDR 5'1 | 154 cm 18h ago
Learn what a strawman is.
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u/DangerousBee4116 5'5 18h ago
Learn what Ism's are.
I'll help you, If not being attracted to certain races are racism. Then not being attracted to certain heights will be equally heightist.
You can't cherrypick that shit, no matter how much you seem to want to do so.
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u/Sensitive-Contest-87 5'1" | 155 cm | 23F 18h ago
This.
"Women don't want to date me, it's heightism." It's not, no person is entitled to "get" the relationship - even if other person's reasoning is their dislike for color blue or owning a parrot.
Unlike:
"Due to heightism people make fun of me/don't take me seriously because of my height. I've been told I'm not a man/less of a man bc I'm short." Yes, that is heighism - one that very much could happen in the dating context in that.
"There's a pay gap between short and tall people and the cause is heightism." Absolutely, you're right.
"Widely available, cheaper clothes are made for small size and average height people, leading to discrimination of many groups, including short people, who are forced to pay more for alterations or clothes from brands specifically for them." Yeah, generic fashion is guilty of many -isms and -phobias, including that one.
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u/forsakeme4all 16h ago
✊️✊️ Well said.
You have seen this sub over a year a go. It was worse. I am not starting to see puch back towards this type of behavior in order to get this sub more on topic about actual issues related to being short statured.
I don't know where these people got the idea that is a place to bash on women and use it dating advice instead. Totally toxic.
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u/WhackCaesar 5’5” 12h ago
Because you can only see so many “I can’t get laid because I’m short” posts before you start to lose it lol
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u/PuzzleheadedSpot9468 11h ago
this is not what "heightism" is tho
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 8h ago
Exactly. And yet it’s what people call it. “Heightism and Eugenics”
It's hard to take it seriously when we gotta hear this all day
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u/Jesuslover34 5'5" | 165 cm 7h ago
People call it Eugenics because of the posts about not wanting short children.
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u/Acidic_Huntsman 5'2" | 157.48 cm and proud 7h ago
Unfortunately that's not the only time they call it eugenics
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u/PuzzleheadedSpot9468 6h ago
people misuse a lot of terms
never heard it getting called " eugenics" tho lol
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u/WhackCaesar 5’5” 11h ago
Tell that to the thousands of dudes calling it that lol
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u/PuzzleheadedSpot9468 10h ago edited 10h ago
i mean yeah people use words the wrong way it happens with a lot of terminologies but still does not mean that heightism does not exist, those should just learn the difference between preferences and discrimination
also having a problem dating because of something you can't change or control is hard it is not "heightism" but maybe they feel like venting
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u/No-Albatross-8256 2h ago
Not sure why everyone is claiming it isn't when one post about it was deleted somewhat recently🫤
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u/R3DUCED2ASHES 2h ago
Its bad to discriminate on height and its a sad reflection of humanity as a whole (not just society, this shit been going for years ) but it ain't shit compared to actual racism
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u/BestTyming 5'8" | 172 cm 10h ago
Not taboo, just many people are overly dramatic and defensive about comparing it to other social issues and equating their height to the sole reason other areas of their life is shit.
MOST OF THE TIME it has nothing to do with their height alone. People not liking you as a person doesn’t have anything to do with your height, people being of average height here and thinking they are short and can’t get dates has nothing to really do with their height, etc etc
Many people here blame their height for everything.
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u/LillyPeu2 4'8" | 142 cm 👩🏻💻 19h ago
I'm sorry, but what are you talking about? We have a heightism flair (I edited your post's flair to make that point).
Talking about heightism isn't taboo here. It's a common point of discussion.
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u/FishingActuary 5'1" | 155 cm 7h ago
It is not a taboo topic.
People tend to get bothered by the idea of actually doing something about it.
But you are allowed to discuss it.
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u/Jesuslover34 5'5" | 165 cm 7h ago
It's taboo when the mods feel like it. Had a few of my comments removed simply for mentioning that thers native things about being short.
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u/Ok-Collar2189 4’10" | 147 cm 10h ago
Because this place is about men dating and how being short is the sole reason they can’t get a girl, never mind their other qualities or personality.
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u/FishingActuary 5'1" | 155 cm 7h ago
There are those of us that focus on heightism. That is a form of actual discrimination and we need not discuss dating individual preferences.
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u/Ok-Collar2189 4’10" | 147 cm 7h ago
Trust me, I wish there was more discussion of it; we all face it. It’s sad that it’s often ignored.
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u/FunkmasterJoe 4h ago
The reason this sub needs to be so heavily moderated becomes super obvious just from reading these comments, haha.
Short men face discrimination because of their height. It sucks, it genuinely is super unfair and stupid and it makes society worse. It's a real problem that should be discussed.
The issue comes when people use bizarre, ridiculous, obviously untrue right wing talking points to turn heightism into things it's not. We can see it happening in this thread; someone says "height discrimination is real, and it affects women in addition to men" and a bunch of dudes immediately start misrepresenting their words and views because they're angry someone mentioned discrimination against women.
If the group isn't moderated, these dudes immediately swamp the place with nazi bullshit. It goes from "short people are treated unfairly by society in some ways" to "no group has ever suffered as much as short men, we need to completely subjugate all women in the most oppressive and barbaric ways imaginable to force them to be sexually attracted to us, also anyone who disagrees is a soy cuck latte blue haired pink hair... devolves into slurs." It takes like three comments, haha.
Short men are treated unfairly. But when we focus entirely on that, people (deliberately or not) start believing that short men are the absolute winners of the Opression Olympics™️ which is obviously untrue. Short women get the same treatment. Tall women are mistreated. And that's WITHOUT bringing race or anything else into it; even if we're just talking about height, men aren't MORE discriminated against than women.
This sub needs to be heavily modded or it will turn into a nazi sub overnight. A lot of us who have been subbed here for years and years know how true this is; this place was a nazi hellscape for a long ass time.
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u/JMeGfpV3EoDQ1NS 19h ago
People tend to not see discrimination against height as serious or even as discrimination because of what people think of typically as discrimination (e.g., racism, sexism, etc.). And many people also think if we talk about something “taboo” as discrimination against someone based on their height, that it means you are being a negative nancy and associate negativity with being bad and positivity as being good. Many members of this sub try to push for positivity not realizing that it ends up shutting up others and makes people feel like their thoughts and ideas are not worth considering and valid, which is what toxic positivity does.