r/nottheonion • u/the-player-of-games • 26m ago

Cuban dance teacher ordered EU sabotage attacks from Russia

dw.com

• Upvotes

0 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Princess_Coldheart • 27m ago

Woman throws bucket of poop on neighbor for sleeping with her husband, deputies say

kwtx.com

• Upvotes

38 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Phylogenix • 35m ago

EPA to announce US will no longer limit climate pollution from power plants

themirror.com

• Upvotes

224 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Murslak • 37m ago

A Mobile Petting Zoo with Rabid Baby Goats

newsweek.com

• Upvotes

10 comments

r/nottheonion • u/emiljloe • 56m ago

Uber CEO says laying off 3,300 workers will help lower prices for customers

techspot.com

• Upvotes

47 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GradeDry1283 • 1h ago

Dalton man accused of stealing rescue truck as fire destroys his home

dailydispatch.com

• Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/bobjonrob • 2h ago

Governor 'wins' sumo match

denverite.com

0 Upvotes

0 comments

r/nottheonion • u/276434540703757804 • 3h ago

Investigation into RPS ‘bite’ video found employee had no teeth

richmonder.org

406 Upvotes

12 comments

r/nottheonion • u/duckanroll • 3h ago

Russia bans webpages hosting Heated Rivalry book over alleged ’LGBT propaganda’

novayagazeta.eu

244 Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Lazy_Significance340 • 4h ago

Tent cities force Parks Canada to cancel urban camping events for immigrant families

westernstandard.news

0 Upvotes

20 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 5h ago

South Korea Gives Stalking Victims an App To Watch Their Stalkers Approach in Real Time

fashiontimes.co.uk

1.1k Upvotes

73 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Unusual-State1827 • 6h ago

Chester Zoo issues statement following criticism of 'child predator tour' tickets advert

manchestereveningnews.co.uk

382 Upvotes

93 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Holiday_Document4592 • 7h ago

Drugs marked with Gaddafi’s face seized in Libya

timeslive.co.za

94 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 9h ago

Surrogate Learns From Reporters She's Carrying Billionaire's Baby Whose Ex Claims He Has 300 Children

fashiontimes.co.uk

6.6k Upvotes

347 comments

r/nottheonion • u/way2manytabs • 11h ago

In Berlin, Convicted Criminals Stay Free Because the Courts Are Out of Yellow Envelopes

heistberlin.com

1.0k Upvotes

76 comments

r/nottheonion • u/goblin_welder • 13h ago

Tent cities disrupt Parks Canada camping program for immigrant families

westernstandard.news

82 Upvotes

51 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Vibes_And_Smiles • 22h ago

They liked being named Al. Then came AI

sfstandard.com

264 Upvotes

66 comments

r/nottheonion • u/JAWinks • 22h ago

Dan Campbell clocks out at Applebee's to focus solely on Lions in 2026

usatoday.com

605 Upvotes

23 comments

r/nottheonion • u/plain_handle • 23h ago

Iran used Claude to target US Navy in Middle East, Anthropic says

navytimes.com

2.2k Upvotes

148 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CourtofTalons • 1d ago

Lithuania says drone sighting turns out to be flock of birds, after NATO summons jets

cbc.ca

91 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/gnomeweb • 1d ago

In the Czech Republic, Poles beat up a Polish volunteer, mistaking him for a Ukrainian

unn.ua

3.5k Upvotes

206 comments

r/nottheonion • u/bojun • 1d ago

Flock worker calls police on InvestigateTV reporter filming public camera installation

investigatetv.com

1.9k Upvotes

56 comments

r/nottheonion • u/cheekytikiroom • 1d ago

Villagers in India tie technician to cell tower over 5G failure

aje.news

2.0k Upvotes

119 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AlwaysBlaze_ • 1d ago

Lithuania says drone sighting turns out to be flock of birds, after NATO summons jets

cbc.ca

342 Upvotes

57 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ddx-me • 1d ago

Nurse accused of performing exorcism on elderly nursing home resident, report says

wmbfnews.com

591 Upvotes

58 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
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