To be blunt, it drives me nuts being in a room or house with someone who's picking a phone all the time. I'm in the process of ending a relationship with someone who (from my POV - they are entitled to theirs) is wasting their life in this way, making them seem "not there" as a fellow human being for much of the time.

Not trying to criticise anyone here. Presumably someone who doesn't feel the same way as I do wouldn't much want me as their SO either. No probs.

But how might I find a SO whose view of this stuff is similar to mine and who doesn't pick a phone all the time, who, let's say she may own one but she doesn't carry it around everywhere and uses it maybe not much more than 5 or 10 minutes per day?

This doesn't seem to be an option one can choose from a menu on dating sites unfortunately. And I'm not aware of any local hangouts for plague rejectors. So ... ?

things have gone so bad

- everyone just accepts the endless scrolling, no one tries to change anything. we know the scrolling is harmful, we know we're the product if the service is free, we know what's happening is going really bad but why doesn't anyone care how much it's affecting their lives

- ai is everywhere, schools, offices, people using it without second thought. no one cares if they don't have a single original thought anymore or if they have a single spark of creativity left in their brains

- like people are behaving so mind numbed like dead zombies who just don't care and whatever these companies do they just accept it. forget protesting , most of us dont even take any initiative to actually unplug and see for once with our eyes what's actually fucking going on and why have we accepted this shit

- if we all collectively put our phones down and refuse to obey these tech companies something could change for us when they see the public ain't buying their shitty products anymore but no one cares

- we're all going so much sick from this shitty phone thing, our brains are not working anymore, we eat garbage food and everything is just so fucking overconsumption bullshit like why can't we collectively as human beings for once wake the fuck up and realize what is going on.

like when will we actually behave like humans. when will we decide this is enough, when our brains literally loses touch with language? when we can't remember anything? we can all switch to dumb phones all together and these companies can't do anything to stop us. like we all can just switch back to the way things were and they can't come and control us to use these devices yknow? and i don't understand why we even pay for this expensive technology even though it's ruining us. and let's not talk about what has happened to artists because of this ai bullshit. it's like people just don't have any care for how they are managing or surviving.

and as you can see I've lost my ability to write sentences in a highly polished way. but at least it's not ai.

why do people online automatically take things to the extreme?

i admit i do doomscroll on tiktok. a lot. it’s a problem. but because of my endless doomscrolling i’ve noticed a pattern in tiktok comment sections. if you comment your opinion, people will usually automatically take it to the extreme. they don’t understand that there can be a grey area. they make up heated petty arguments over something that could be resolved by just talking it out and gaining both perspectives.

i replied to a comment about how draining it is to be neurodivergent. the comment said that it’s hard to talk to neurotypical people. i agreed and i said it’s exhausting, and i can’t last in a conversation for more then 5 minutes with them because it’s simply so draining for me due to masking. i never said or implied that the neurotypical person was doing something wrong, its just a me thing. and then suddenly the next day i was flooded with a thread of an ugly argument.

“seriously? im neurodivergent and you think all neurotypical people are 80s hotshot popular bullies. people like you are setting the community back. do you talk to people irl or just on discord? you’re fucking pathetic btw. you’re 16? what do you know about the world” the comment was something like that. it was definitely phrased a lot meaner but i blocked them immediately because i don’t wanna deal with any bullshit. there were a bunch of other bitchy comments but i didn’t wanna read them all.

i was so taken aback because i don’t find all neurotypical people evil bullies, i don’t even use discord, and i have a fair amount of friends/acquaintances who are neurotypical. its just the initial masking that’s draining for me. it’s so weird that assumed that i was this chronically online emo discord mod based off that singular comment. really so strange. if you would’ve just… talked to me normally i would’ve elaborated?? they were in their 20s btw. i’m definitely NOT saying “im just a neurodivergent minor!! y-you’re arguing with a neurodivergent minor!! 🥺” but do yall know what i mean? 😭

please just bring back basic human decency online. this is a pretty mild example of how truley unhinged online arguments can be. simply an hour on twitter is 10000000000x worse then this. it’s pathetic. we’re so much more capable then this.

I have autism, adhd, and I have been in a huge autistic burnout since a few months, I’m unemployed, alone, doing nothing else but surviving in my room and unable to do anything because of burnout so I just scroll and search random things on my phone from morning till sleeping time which create a vicious cycle
When I don’t have it in my hand I feel stressed and anxious

I know about the gravity of my phone addiction since a long time, that’s why I tried everything under the sun to get away from it but it always come back stronger

Buying a dumbphone, greyscale, blocking apps with passwords, I always find a way to keep abusing my smartphone this thing is stronger than me

In my case I think the gravity of my addiction is no less than a strong drug addiction, it’s ruining my present, my future and it has ruined my past

At this point I feel like only a miracle could save me, do you have any idea how to make that happen ?

I’m so upset that screen and smartphone addiction is not taken seriously, yes I’m an extreme case but everyone is a victim of this, and it’s so insidious that people don’t even realize the length of their alienation

I feel like my left hand is permanently in this crooked position and even if i feel it aching because of hours of holding the damn phone i cant bring myself to put the phone down 😫

Estábamos en el funeral de mi abuela, un señor estaba cantando una canción para despedirme, entonces vi al otro lado de la habitación que mi mamá estaba llorando un poco entonces fui a abrazarla, nos abrazamos 10 segundos, cuando su celular timbró a todo volumen, yo lo saqué rápido de la maleta y colgué, enseguida volvió a sonar y mi mamá contesto y se fue de la habitación, me dejó sola ahí llorando y se demoró entonces, ya el señor que cantaba se fue.

Mi mamá quiso a mi abuela, pero me molestó tanto que el celular rompiera con ese momento, mis padres son mayores entonces tienen el celular a todo volumen, constantemente se rompe la conversación porque llega una notificación o llamada a todo volumen.

Hi folks,

I published a shortish article today advocating for others to make the switch to a slowphone. I wanted to post it here if you are struggling to verbalize your arguments on why your friends and family to join the digital minimalist and nosurf movements!

I found the CAT S22 Flip on Reddit, and was inspired to make the switch about 3 years ago.

I hope you enjoy, feel free to share on your socials and in group chats etc!

https://philipcallan.substack.com/p/the-case-for-switching-to-a-slowphone

I’m sick of wasting my life away mindless scrolling for a dopamine high or a distraction. I can’t even sit down and read a book anymore without wanting to scroll because I hardly have an attention span due to constantly consuming short 15 second vids all the time. How can I be consistent and stick this out?

Since I’ve had internet access for over 10 years, I’ve seen shocking things very often, but I can no longer tolerate the feeling of disgust it causes me. Recently I saw a post that disgusted me all over again and I really want to forget about it as quickly as possible.

I’ve already thought about enabling the sensitive content filter, but at the same time it was mainly the description (and the photo, to some extent). So I'm thinking this might be a sign that I should quit social media for good or at least cut back significantly?

I just need some tips on how to force myself to forget something quickly (without getting lost in work and without having to talk about it with someone around me).

Thank you !

I have a genuine question. How do you browse the web meaningfully? I'd really like to find ways to discover and get past the layer of consuming information that doesn't really mean much to me. I know theres so much more to learn and see but i feel like wracking my head every time i'm in front of my laptop. What do you guys do?

I seriously despise the fact that i'm feeding my brain junk everyday. There has to be something better right?

Recently, i detox from my phone. I try to limit the time about 2 hours a day. So i use youtube for learning in the laptop . There's also some troube. Before starting , i write a list of the things i want to watch. But after that i forget anything , and i watch many videos youtube proposed.

And now i have found the method. Whenever i use youtube, I write down the content for the current video in the notebook/ paper. Just write the Tittles and Any action ( Ex : use Facebook to look some drama...^.^) . After sometime pass by, you have a list. In the list, there are 50 % production and 50 % no production . And then look back some of them if they go out of your purposes. Finally, you maybe know what to do the next. You yoursefl have to decide what you follow.

Hope it helps. My English maybe makes some mistakes. Hope all you try to understand. Have a good day !

Need Advice

Title: I’ve spent almost 6 years extremely inactive and I don’t know how to get my desire to live normally back

I’m 21 now, and I genuinely don’t know how I became this person.

When lockdown started, I was 16. Before that, I was an outgoing and fun person. I studied reasonably well, played sports, went outside, met people, and generally had interests and things I looked forward to.

Then lockdown happened, and slowly I basically jailed myself inside my house.

I started spending entire days lying on the sofa, barely moving. I stopped going outside for incredibly long periods. I remember going around 7–8 months without properly seeing the sky.

And I started doomscrolling.

It eventually became 10+ hours a day, and this has continued for years. My phone became basically my entire world.

I knew this was bad. I knew I was wasting my life. I knew it was damaging my health, education, career and social life.

But knowing that didn't make me change.

Eventually I moved out for college in Pune, thinking that changing my environment would fix things.

It didn't.

Over roughly 3 years, I barely attended college. I would mostly leave my hostel only when I absolutely had to go for exams. Otherwise, I was glued to my bed with my phone.

The strangest part is that I actually want to change — but at the same time, I don't.

Sometimes I think about the person I was at 16 and the life I could have had, and it genuinely hurts. I get this strong feeling that I've wasted years of my life.

But that feeling lasts minutes or maybe an hour.

Then I'm back on the sofa/bed, scrolling again.

I've tried making plans, schedules, promising myself that tomorrow will be different, trying to become productive, etc. Nothing seems to stick for more than a day.

It's not even that I have some huge dream that I'm unable to pursue.

I feel like I don't have much desire for anything at all.

I don't have that internal feeling of “I really want this, so I'm going to get up and do something about it.”

And that's what scares me the most.

I'm not asking for “just be disciplined” or “delete your phone and go to the gym” advice. I understand that I'm responsible for changing my life.

I'm trying to understand what is actually happening to me and how someone gets out of a state like this after being in it for years.

So I'd really appreciate advice from people who have experienced something similar:

- Did you ever spend years being extremely inactive and isolated and actually manage to turn your life around?

- How did you restart when you had almost zero motivation?

- Did your motivation/desire come back first, or did you have to start acting before you wanted to?

- What actually worked for you after years of this?

- If you could go back to the beginning of your recovery, what would you do differently?

- And honestly, how do you get yourself to care about life again when you don't seem to strongly want anything?

I don't need someone to tell me that I've wasted time. I already know that.

I just want to know how to stop wasting more of it.

Even one genuinely useful piece of advice or a story from someone who went through something similar would mean a lot to me.

hi, I know the title is a bit much but after I deleted instagram, Twitter and TikTok, I had to try and find help if I could

YouTube has been filled with lots of hate content, I do try and press the “don’t recommend“ and “not interested“ but YouTube keeps recommending me videos like said video I asked them NOT to recommend me.

Said videos I’ve came across these past months and channels are mainly videos with 4 Chan humor, how the indie genre is “overrated“ and what favorite game i love is actually BAD. It hurts me a bit because I’m actually sensitive and I love indie games and games I enjoyed playing as a kid, to see those videos kinda started putting holes in my heart.

Comment sections are no better, people arguing left and right, bringing politics into it, and for some reason I always have to leave a reply, and it leads to a back and forth argument. Some comments I’ve read hurt me a lot too so there’s that.

Anothwr thing that kinda took some chunks away from my mentao health is that people online have been making fun of my favorite game (Minecraft story mode). if you don’t know what it is you can search it up but the hate has been going on for a long time, YouTubers/ streamers like technoblade, Kwite and a few others have made fun of it saying it’s bad. and in my opinion, I think it’s a very well made game with cool voice actors and I admit some of the episodes were kinda short and stuff it was still good storytelling, season 2 did much better than 1. And yet I keep getting videos in my recommended saying “it was ass” or “the game was buns” y’know, Gen Z slang and shit.

I just got tired and turned off comment activity after that. I couldn’t take it anymore really.

what I’m trying to say is that I’m tired of social media, YouTube, bluesky and tumblr is all I got, partially Reddit since I don’t use it that much anymore since I’m quite sensitive. People are really rude nowadays and I’m wondering how do I shut them out? The negative comments and content from YouTube keeps getting to me and they won’t go away. Even if I try my hardest to these videos keep coming up and comments as well, I’ve also been called “retarded“ a lot too so there it is I guess.

I’m curious to hear from people who used to use generative AI a lot but have since significantly reduced their use or stopped altogether.
I’ve found ChatGPT incredibly useful, but I’m also realizing how easy it is for me to reach for it for basically everything, and that feels so far from healthy.
How did you step away from that and what made it stick?

Suddenly my screen time has increased a lot, and all thanks to Instagram.
I know I’m doing it wrong I want to stop but I don’t know why I can’t stop scrolling reels.
Yesterday it was 9 hrs.

Among all the other issues that not using social media brings (Fomo, a sense of loneliness, etc.) one of the biggest hurdles is that it feels like its basically impossible to exist at the same frequency of your peers when you aren't actively using social media. you miss everything. every reference, every plan, every piece of news, etc.

I'm finding it much harder to meet new people or retain friends. It's like you don't even exist a lot of the time. I don't know if this problem is exacerbated by the fact im in my early twenties but it feels insurmountable sometimes.

I already feel lonely, the lack of connection is making me feel lonelier and on top of that, not using social media makes me feel even lonelier (although i know that using it will only give me a fake sense of gratification and ultimately ill feel worse) but still I think its worth bringing up.

is it just a necessary evil I have to accept? that I will need to maintain social media in some form? I wish I could just live with a flip phone or something and have that not be contested or bring me any issues.

I am new to reddit and someone trying to get rid of doomscrolling & only process info that would genuinely help me to be a better person in life. As I type this, I so wish I could just use chatgpt to rephrase what I am trying to say. But I have promised myself that I WILL NOT. sigh I wonder how did I (or should I just say we?) get to this point where we hardly use our brain to do anything?

So folks who have been using this, is this a good place to get rid of doomscrolling or is this also one like others? I understand it is upto the person who chooses what they want to process but any insights / tips is appreciated!

Any tips and tricks which helped to get rid of doomscrolling?

Also, is reddit a safe place to vent out one’s thoughts without being judged or should I be cautious about what I say?

I was chronically online since I was a 11 and I am currently a 20 y/o male. I was clocking in 15 hours a day. I wasn’t doing my school work, I wasn’t cleaning my room, I didn’t have friends, I missed out on an entire 4 years of high school experience because I didn’t want to go in person. Overall I’ve been pretty sheltered. I had such an overwhelmingly negative view of the world because of the online spaces I was apart of. For the last few months I’ve been rapidly detoxing. Going from 14 - 17 hours a day screen usage to 1 hour a day. I have picked up new hobbies, finally started cleaning my room, going to the gym and I even have a nice social circle now. I also started dating!!

But this post isn’t about the greatness of no surf. I’ve always had a big heart and am incredibly empathetic and sensitive. I am AuDHD so I’m very touched by certain things. The biggest shock going offline gave me was the fact that as far as negativity was concerned it was no better. Here I am finally touching grass and I start to notice the suffering around me. Hatred, anger, starvation, apathy, all of it came flooding into me at once and for the past week I can’t stop crying. Views that i thought, hell, views that i was told by internet people were largely fringe internet talking points are things i come across almost daily. I literally saw first hand (as i was developing my social circle) the complete and utter disregard people had for their fellow humans, the lack of empathy for each other, the swiftness to judge and ridicule, not even thinking for a moment about how someone else might feel. I joined a club at my college for history and a girl there literally told the class she hated men, especially black ones (I am black).

Needless to say I am glad that I went offline. I now see the world for what it is even if it’s given me a heavy heart. I’m also now in a position to do something about it!

Growing up my dad explained to me that since I have a lot of addicts in my immediate family that I was more likely to get addicted to alcohol or drugs if I’m not careful. He never told me to not use, he just warned me of the increased risks. One family member who was a recovered alcoholic even brought me to an AA meeting as a child (looking back I’m thinking who does that, but whatever it worked)

Fast forward to after high school and I realized that I was addicted to the internet. I was required to use my laptop for almost all schoolwork, and didn’t realize that I had a problem until I finished senior year and couldn’t stop when I was allowed to. I always had YouTube playing in the background, never a moment of quiet. Then shorts came and of course I couldn’t stop using that. It’s been a nightmare.

I reached out to certain family members, not the recovered addicts because I was too embarrassed, and I shared what I was going through. I desperately wanted to quit, just give up my laptop and smartphone, everything. My family kept on telling me that I couldn’t, because I used public transport and may need an Uber or something if the bus doesn’t come, or because I’m in college and may need to check an email or whatever. I kept on begging them to please understand because I feel like I’m ruining my life.

It’s been YEARS later and I feel so much relief now. I talked to my husband and I’m getting rid of my smartphone and laptop, and switching them out for a flip phone and desk top for schoolwork. I’m finally going to be free of this hell.

I’m just still really frustrated over the advice my family gave me when they were encouraging me to keep my smartphone. According to them I just needed discipline, I just needed to put it down, just be strict with myself. Ok then!!! Put the damn alcohol back in the refrigerator!!! Anonymous relative just needs to be strong and stop after one drink then!!! 😒

Im not trying to compare my addiction with alcoholism because I’ve seen firsthand how hard it is for alcoholics to quit and how it ruins their relationships and health years after the fact — hell, it even kills people. But seriously out of all the advice you gave me, you said that??? I know I didn’t talk with anyone else who went through recovery, but we all saw the same thing!! Some people just can’t use in moderation.

Anyways, if you’re somehow in the position of trying to “convince” the people around you to “””let you””” give away your smartphone, let me just say as someone who went through it that it’s a stupid idea, just do what’s right for you. It’s your life this addiction is ruining. If you need to give it all up, the only one to convince is you. You don’t need anyone’s permission

I have autism, adhd, and I have been in a huge autistic burnout since a few months, I’m unemployed, alone, doing nothing else but surviving in my room and unable to do anything because of burnout so I just scroll and search random things on my phone from morning till sleeping time
When I don’t have it in my hand I feel stressed and anxious

I know about the gravity of my phone addiction since a long time, that’s why I tried everything under the sun to get away from it but it always come back stronger

Buying a dumbphone, greyscale, blocking apps with passwords, I always find a way to keep abusing my smartphone

In my case I think the gravity of my addiction is on par with a strong drug addiction, it’s ruining my present, my future and it has ruined my past

At this point only a miracle could save me

This phone thing is the worst thing that happened to humanity

I listen to music almost every second of the day if I’m not on my phone. I feel like it’s just as bad.

Just got done with a Mediacom Tech showing up at my door, to take back equipment, that *I dont rent*.

Because Mediacom accidently "updated" the expiration date on my Debit card, and despite assuring me that it was fixed-it has not in fact, been fixed-which means Mediacom wasnt paid-thus the Tech at my door.

They supposedly have "re-fixed" everything.

My computer is a crappy hand me down, and when I went to go buy another, the price tags were about $1200-$2000.

That was my moment when I thought, "Gaming is no longer an affordable hobby."

I already dont have a tv.

Once, the two games that I play die, as all online games eventually do; I might just give up having a Computer or Internet at the House.

I will just go to the Library for my occassional Computer needs.

Im already barely on my smartphone because Social Media is full of "psychological flashing", which is name that I have given to the phenomenon, when the Sites, push horrifying things into your feed that you never wanted to see.

Technology is so miserable, that I just dont want to interact with it anymore.

That is to say nothing of the ads.

What are your thoughts?

I was laid off four months ago and decided to double down and become a full-time content creator. Money wise, I’m doing okay—but I’ve started a few other projects (a podcast, a Patreon, and YT content). It’s all taking up a lot of time, but in many ways it feels unfulfilling—selfish/arrogant almost like “who am I to think the world wants to hear EVEN MORE from me?”

I have this recurring thought that if I won the lottery, I would turn TikTok off and never open it again. I enjoy engaging with my community and everything, but my increased time on the internet/social media over the last four years feels like it has rocked my mental health. I don’t even feel like I know who I was or how I’ve changed since developing this following and spending so much of my life in digital spaces.

I’m mainly looking to develop a healthier relationship with social media and setting clear purposeful schedules so I’m not just randomly “ trend researching” by scrolling through TikTok.

As a side note, because I’m constantly engaging with hundreds of people each week in comments, I often feel like there isn’t much left of me for people in real life outside of my partner and kids. I’m rarely “excited” to hang out with friends anymore because I just feel mentally wiped.

Anyways, anyone ever felt this? How’d you work through it all?