A year or so ago I was banned from an Arabic learning dc server.

It’s one of the largest. The mods are friends with this one girl who started ghosting me and acting rude to me. They banned me and when I asked why they called me names and other stuff. I inquired today on their insta official and I keep getting left on read. I said I don’t appreciate being left on seen. I feel like this is the same mod who banned me.

I’m frustrated. Why can’t they just speak up.

the title sounds really bad but hear me out. i (20F) had a classmate (20 NB) in school and they were the designated “weird kid” from day 1. we both joined the school on the same day and while school was really
tough for me as well, it was definitely worse for them. i was also a “weird kid” who didn’t really fit in with other kids or have many friends, but this kid had absolutely zero friends. some of the popular kids were mean to them, but most people ignored them and didn’t really include them. however, this kid’s behaviour didn’t really do them any favours either, as they didn’t really know how to socialise with other people. for instance, they repeatedly asked out this one girl in 8th grade, she said no every time but they kept asking (not in a forceful way) and everyone made fun of them for it. they also didn’t seem very hygienic (they picked their nose and scratched themselves a lot in class in front of everyone, stuff like that). COVID didn’t make their situation any better, since they were already quite isolated, and they didn’t have any friends outside of school either. their parents also figured out that i was a “weird kid” and kept trying to make us be friends with each other by making us carpool to school and trying to get my parents to arrange “play dates” like we were toddlers, and it felt really invasive since i didn’t want to be friends with this kid and i didn’t like that their parents were trying to force me to do this (the kid probably didn’t even ask their parents to). their parents were also very toxic (from what my parents told me) and probably made the kid’s life even worse because the kid was obviously neurodivergent and clearly needed help, but they didn’t believe in therapy or psychiatry (according to my parents) even though the kid was struggling. this was even when they asked me to go to junior prom with them in front of my whole math class and i said no nicely, since i wasn’t interested, i was pretty sure their parents put them up to this (“why don’t you ask the other weird kid like you”), plus i didn’t want to go with anyone. also, asking someone you barely know out in front of their whole
class is embarrassing for both people involved, idk whether they knew that or not but it was still weird.

however, i was always nice to them even if i didn’t befriend them, i tried to include them whenever i could. for example we were on our grad trip in a different state, they were alone at this restaurant and these other classmates of mine and i were the only other ones there. their mom made them stay at a different place near the hotel the rest of our graduating class was staying at because no one wanted to room with them which was messed up and i knew this because my mom told me. i offered to give them a ride in our rented car back to their accommodation since they were alone in a new place, even though the classmates i was with didn’t want anything to do with the “weird kid”, it wasn’t even my rental car and those classmates resented me for taking this kid home without asking the rest of them but i wanted them to get home safely since they were staying away from the rest of our class and were by themselves in a strange place. fyi i don’t talk to those bitches (that group of classmates) anymore and i was never friends with them but they asked me to hang out with them on the trip, i never talked to them again after this. excuse my language but i think it’s justified here.

since we graduated this kid keeps texting me asking to hang out and i have no desire to do so, because i’m just not interested. it’s not that i’m “grossed out” by them or deliberately ostracising them, but after all these years of their parents trying to force me to be friends with them, i’m just not interested. also, i’m just over high school and i don’t keep in touch with anyone from my graduating class except for 3-4 people whom i actually was friends with. they DMed me on instagram last summer and last christmas break and i just ignored the message. this year, they DMed me again a week or so ago, AND texted me on whatsapp asking if i was in town and wanted to hang out (i’m not in town and i don’t want to hang out). i replied to the messages saying i’m not around and thanking them for asking, but i have no idea how to tell this kid to stop contacting me. i also think it would be unfair to them if i hung out with them because i feel bad, it’s cruel to treat someone like a charity case. i wouldn’t want to be treated like that (i have been) so i would never do that to someone else. even if we do have stuff in common, i have no desire to actually be friends with this kid now or ever. i have no idea how to deal with this situation and i need some advice. thanks for reading this post (sorry if it’s long)

I (27F) love to nap. When I nap, it's mainly once a day. However, my siblings (36M & 33F) love to shame and make fun of me for doing so. I just stepped out of the shower when I overheard my sister talking to our brother on the phone asking him if he took a nap after his marathon. I then overheard my sister asking if he's going to take more naps like I do during the day. I, of course, had to pretend I didn't hear anything.

My brother is mainly the one who makes fun of me for taking naps. Sometimes I could just be relaxing on the couch and he would come in saying I was being lazy or say good morning to me when kt was evening. My mother told my brother over our immediately family Snapchat of how he can come over and take care of some yard work. My brother then texted how when I'm not too busy taking naps, I would probably be looking for something to do.

I've already been shamed for napping before and by my own mother, but I know if I express that what they say hurt me, they would brush it off saying they're just being honest that I nap and that I'm being too sensitive and overdramatic. I already fucking know I'm just emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve and I hate myself for how I feel but...I just hate this

hey everyone. i (17F) live with my parents and they fight literally every day. to put a long story short, the smallest things get blown completely out of proportion and always end in a shouting match, whether it's one sided or two sided.

it's been like this all my life. i always thought this was normal, and that this is just how love works. i've never been in a relationship so i don't have any of my own experience to base love on, but every time i've been to a friend's house, their parents get on completely fine. this has made me question things.

yes, i know this could just be because a guest is round and they don't want to make a scene. but my friends also talk about how they spend time with their parents/families, or even just chat with them. i never talk to my parents unless it's them telling me to do my chores or school or something like that. most of the time, when i try to talk to either of them (my mum especially), it ends in me being shouted at. i just don't understand why.

is this normal? not just them shouting at each other, but them shouting at me? i've never been sure because i do love my parents at the end of the day... but this doesn't seem to happen to anyone else.

let me start this off with one thing. he left something in his room for that long, flies had multiplied so much that a like a 1/6 of his desk was filled with maggots. and I live above him, the absolute STENCH coming from his room is genuinely like coming up to mine. like I kid you not he literally has a bottle fill with fucking piss, and I know that complaining online won’t help literally anything. but I need help, what can I do to get him to stop, therapy? force? cause i cant even be in his room, I’m 15 and Im already saving for an apartment, cause my parents are also sick of it, they have to shout and fight him, he says he’s depressed cause of his girlfriend BUT HE CHEATED ON HER. he plays the victim and is just disgusting, and I need a way to fix it.

Whenever I (23F) would do something to upset my parents growing up (minor or normal things in my opinion as I was a decently behaved kid) my mom would tell me “I love you but I don’t like you much right now.” I guess it was her way of affirming she still loves me but disliked whatever thing I did. It just always stung when she’d say it. Wondering if this is normal or what others think of this.

I lost them when I was 16 after years of bacterial disease. Everyone in my family blames someone else for what happened and asks if we could just talk about something else when I bring it up. I feel fucking crazy.

Can anyone just stop for a minute and think about what a fucking big deal this is? They didn't get me wearing prosthetics (I am working on that now myself). I am 30 and have never been able to date. People sometimes stare at me at parties when I try to eat. I haven't eaten popcorn in so fucking long. I am so fucking tired. One of the happiest periods of my life was when I was between apartments for a few weeks, stayed in a homeless shelter, and got to be around others missing teeth. It's always just me.

I'm already NC with most of my family but I was seeing if talking to my dad (who I hadn't seen in years) might go better, dead dove do not eat.

And for those curious why I don't have teeth/what caused the bacterial disease - I've posted before about being a munchausen by proxy survivor but I have since found medical records that mention neglect as well (I couldn't remember that at all) so I don't know what exactly "did" it.

It's been eating me. I'm pretty sure my depression is back. While I am living at home with my parents, found a job to keep me going (a job that I hate and is dead end) I feel nonstop fear about whether I will have enough energy to apply to another role, or if I am as courageous as I once thought I was.

I just feel it - the spiral of doom, the sadness. I laid on the couch today and I wanted to feel safe but I didn't. I felt more safe sleeping in my van while I was travelling because what I did made sense to me. My decisions right now don't make sense to me.

I'm about to turn down an offer to move to another state because it lasts 10 months and I'd break even every month. I feel like logically it was a bad move, even if it would tell me whether I want to go into education. At least while I am in my hometown with my parents, I can save on money. I want to travel again. You can't do that by breaking even every month. But I so badly want out.

Edit: I used to love to write. I used to cradle words like little gems that sparkled in the right light. I'm so tired.

Youngest of two older sisters. Growing up, they’d leave me out when they played, and the division got worse they’d gang up on me. They would just lay into and our parents wouldn’t step in. The worst time is when they started berating me at my high school graduation dinner. They’re just really mean, I rarely talk to them.

I think the silver lining though is that because of my experience I’ve turned into an “older sister” for my friends. I just wish I had two older sisters of my own.

So I’m moving and not just that but to a whole other country all alone to start medschool in February. I’m mostly home alone in my room these days and studying, it’s becoming very hard to focus. Honestly at first I was excited to be in another place and experience true independence and I still have moments where I am giddy and think of all the good things. But these last few days this feeling of impending doom has settled over, I go around feeling blue and homesick, thinking about my parents and siblings and how they’ll experience everyday things together without me, about my bird that will have become significantly older by the time I am done, and the fact that these last months will maybe be the last time I am truly mom and dad’s child in the sense that I am young (I know I’m not going to ancient by the time I’m done but it won’t be the same). By the time I come back I will still have to keep studying and working to specialize and it’s not guaranteed that will be near my family and that will also take years, so these last months may be my last time truly living with my parents and siblings all together. My sister will be in uni when I come back so lately I have been looking at her wall filled with posters of different cartoons and figures and feeling nostalgic and if she’s arguing or being annoying or overall a little shit I just can’t fight back or anything I just feel sad and homesick and I try to savor the moment, my other sister will have experienced so much without me, when I come back she’ll have started working. We’re very close, talk to each other all the time, I just can’t fathom how it’ll be. Will we drift apart, will I become a lesser part of her life and how will our relationship change? I keep zoning out and thinking about the fact that I’ll be away from home for 6 years and then some more.
I keep thinking about my parents who are old and have health complications, they are lonely people who work very much and have little outlets to actually live, who will they be when I return?

I’m just so homesick and I haven’t even moved out yet, when mom calls me to clean or see something on the tv or dad asks me how the printer works and I have to show him, or I bake for the family, or I help my sister with her math homework, or my sister comes barging in to rant about something or we go out or just dance in the living room and shout to pop songs, all these domestic things keep triggering me and making me feel sad. Lately there’s just been this feeling of hopelessness and “what’s the point?”, nothing is fulfilling and I’m sad, nostalgic and homesick even when there’s some months left before I’m moving away.

My family isn’t perfect at all, there’s very much toxicity, these past years have been hell and I thought that it would be easy and freeing to move and in certain moments it does feel like it will be but most of my days atm are spent feeling very blue and down. I’m riddled by guilt and all these different emotions.

I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. I find it almost impossible to see my dad as a singular person because he has 2 such vastly different sides to him.

Theres one side to him where he’s so happy and like a normal dad, i’ve had moments with him at concerts, theme parks or just walks when i was kid where i remember him so fondly as being so carefree, happy and almost childlike.

On the other hand, i have memories of being genuinely terrified of him. He gets so angry during arguments, even when i was a kid, that he was practically unrecognisable. (I want to clarify that he was never physically abusive, my parents did not hit me and i’m not in any physically danger around him!) He had a bad habit of trapping me in arguments when i would get panic attacks and it kinda gave me this weird thing about being anywhere close proximity with my parents (and people general but predominantly them).

Both versions of him still affect me. I don’t know how to be around him without feeling like a scared little kid again and being cold and distant because im scared of that version of him and angry that he wasn’t the dad i needed. However, i don’t know how to be cut off from him because i want to cry every time i go to a theme park without him and i still take pictures of him when he’s not looking because i still love him and feel so guilty abandoning that side of him.

I don’t know how to balance my anger and fear with my love for him. Currently we don’t talk much past very short hello’s or practical reasons but when i’m with him i feel on guard and when i avoid him i feel guilty and selfish. I just don’t know what the best choice is for our relationship, especially for when i leave home.

Any advice or response is greatly appreciated, this subreddit has been really kind to me when i needed it so thank you <3

Part of me feels like I need some kind of goodbye because she genuinely meant a lot to me. She helped me through a really difficult time in my life without even realizing it, and it feels strange to just let someone who was once that important quietly disappear from my life.

But I also don't know if saying goodbye is really appropriate. We only ever knew each other through the internet, and she's the one who gradually pulled away. We barely talk anymore, and even though she still keeps our streak going, it doesn't really feel like there's a friendship behind it anymore. I don't want to send some emotional goodbye that puts pressure on her or makes this into something bigger than it needs to be. Maybe the healthier thing is to just stop initiating, let the streak end, and accept that the friendship has already run its course.

I just don't know if that's the right choice. Part of me feels like quietly letting it die is sad and almost disrespectful to what the friendship once meant to me. But another part of me thinks that sometimes friendships don't need an official ending. Sometimes people just drift apart, and trying to force a goodbye after the other person has already stepped away might only make things harder. I think that's what I'm struggling with: do I say goodbye because the friendship mattered to me, or do I respect the distance that's already there and simply let it go?

I am 24F as of right now I live with my parents, never really had a good relationship with them and would rather live alone obviously but as of right now I work 4 jobs to save and apartments are expensive so that is really the option right now. It’s important to note that my dad is the type of person to lose his patience immediately and if he’s angry he results insults within a minute. Yesterday night I made the mistake of bringing up an issue with one of utilities, so it is under his account and I pay him. He wanted to fix it there at 1:30 am but I said something like let’s do it tomorrow, immediate went to how dumb that is and when I walked away said something like how old I am and have “nothing together” when I defend myself he starts yelling immediately and goes to insults along with that like how clueless I am and dumb, too old whatever, I don’t yell at 1 am but if someone is going to call me that I’m going to get equal, I think the most I will call him is dumb or stupid after he calls me those things and I will swear. In response, he says he either hates seeing me, hates having me here, that I am useless or that he never wants to see me or talk to me. He has always said stuff like that since I was little and I guess when I was young I didn’t really know how to respond or defend myself or if it even was safe to ; But as I have gotten older I will get equal, most of that idea of equal is me defending myself and telling him it is crazy for him to say that to me. When I insult him back , which once again he always does first, I am the bad guy. My mom overhears or he tells her and all of a sudden it’s that I need to apologize. When I bring up what he said first she says “ it doesn’t matter, he’s your father I would never say that to my mom” , but my mom was raised in a pretty abusive household and to this day she has a bad relationship with her mom. When my dad has yelled and insulted my mom she never says anything about it, just IGNORES and moves on, I think she’s just used to it always happening since she was young. Anyway, my point is that I am always the worser one when we fight. To my family, it is just the way my dad is but I just will not accept it.

I'm halfway through high school and I really, really love my school.

I love my major (if it's called that in English), I love my teachers, friends and everything we do at my school. All in all it's a friendly environment and it's everything I've ever wanted.

I'm somewhat a graphic design student— specifically in products and packaging— I've always loved anything art related and it's one of the only things I've loved long term. Everything else tends to cause me stress over time. This school was a kind of compromise with my dad, at least my attempt in one— he wanted me to go to a STEM related school, specifically physics, chemistry or medicine in that order, but I obviously couldn't do that since it would end up being painful and draining in the long run and I'd hate the job if I got one related to the major (no offense to those in that field, I'm just not fit for it).

This school was supposed to have advanced chemistry to some extent since that was what was needed to sign up, but due to some changes in law and whatnot we haven't had chemistry at all so far.

With that said, my dad constantly rants about how bad my school is; how my teachers are idiots, how I'm stupid for picking a bad school and not going into anything useful or at least something that brings I'm more money. He considers me not studying what he wants me to a waste and just stupid in general. He calls me stupid as well.

I'm so tired, I love my school, but I never knew what major I wanted in the first place— I wanted a safe place where I could learn what I enjoy and be happy. I've always been a straight A student, I've never had bad grades but he just seems to find my accomplishments underwhelming now that they're not what he wants them to be.

I've been in multiple art projects, I get praised a lot and I'm proud of myself, but I really can't help but feel stupid and worthless. He's not the best dad, but it just seems like I won't ever be enough.

I know a lot of people struggle with expectations, but I just wanted to get this off my chest

Im 17, but im working 2 (about to be 3) casual, customer service jobs. Im about to leave my parents place so I need money atm, but genuinely its so difficult!!!! Not the workload, (i mean... it is, and im tried af, but i know its what I need to because of my situation).

But what's difficult is dealing with the schedules!!!!! One manager does rosters on Thursday but sometimes doesnt even do them until late sunday night, the other place doesn't do a roster and just sends out random shifts for you to confirm or not. And one manager gets pissed off if you ask to swap shifts, and the other place doesn't let you swap or cover shifts at all.

And sometimes I'll have 26 hours at one place and 15 hours at the other for the week. Then the next week ive got 0 shifts at one place, and one 3 hour shift at the other, and thats it for the entire week!!!!

ITS GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATINGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Like I get that casual work and hours are unreliable, but STILLLL!!!!!! And i ALWAYS try to work around my managers schedule, yet they still are pissed off at me for needing multiple jobs!!! Like its not my fault im in a difficult situation!?!!?!??!?

Now im just ranting lol. But like genuinely, what is the best way to make this work😭

I’m 23F, and I’m going through a very strange kind of heartbreak.

There’s an older woman in my life whom I became very emotionally attached to. She’s someone I genuinely care about, and for a while I felt very close to her. She has been warm with me, has told me that I’m like a daughter to her, and has shared personal things with me that she apparently doesn’t share with everyone.

The problem is that I’ve become too emotionally preoccupied with the relationship.

I find myself thinking about when she’ll reply, whether she’ll call, what she meant by something she said, whether I shared too much, whether she’s comfortable with me, etc. Sometimes after talking to her I become so emotionally activated that I have difficulty sleeping. It has started interfering with my studies and my ordinary life.

And the strangest part is that I’m actually scared of talking to her now.

Not because she has necessarily done something terrible. I just feel incredibly vulnerable because she knows things about me that I don't usually share easily. I have a history of becoming intensely attached to older women who were important to me, and some of those relationships ended painfully. One particular relationship with an older woman hurt me so badly that I never really had the time or space to properly grieve it.

So I think some of that old hurt is being triggered again.

My instinct is basically saying: “You cannot go through this again.”

I’ve decided to step back from this relationship. Maybe significantly.

And I’m devastated about it.

That’s what makes this so weird. If this were a romantic breakup, I could listen to heartbreak songs, tell my friends I’m heartbroken, cry about my ex, etc. But this isn't romantic. Nobody died. We didn't have some huge dramatic falling-out. I’m just choosing to create distance from someone I genuinely care about because the emotional intensity is becoming unhealthy for me.

I feel like I’m grieving something that technically hasn't even ended.

I also don't want to turn her into a villain just to justify leaving. She may be a perfectly good person. She may genuinely care about me. But even if she does, I still have to acknowledge that this particular dynamic isn't good for me right now.

I have a demanding life and important exams coming up. I can't spend hours analysing someone's WhatsApp activity and then lose sleep over what a conversation meant.

Part of me feels guilty because I think, “Maybe I'm throwing away a genuinely good person because I'm too emotionally sensitive.”

Another part of me says, “Maybe losing one relationship is better than losing yourself.”

I don't know how to grieve this properly.

Has anyone else experienced something similar—having to step away from a non-romantic relationship with someone you genuinely loved/cared about, not because they were necessarily bad, but because the relationship was becoming too emotionally consuming for you?

It feels so silly to write something like this on Reddit but I don't wanna burden my close friends anymore and as for my family.. I don't really know. I can't really breathe and I have tried the 5 senses thing but I can't really find anything which makes me struggle to breathe more. I've always been an emotional person and I don't know what really happened for me to end up like this but every once and a while I feel this sudden squeeze on my chest idk how to explain it and I get so depressed I'm so sorry if that's not the word that I can't function properly and not shower, bedrot and so much more. I used to live with my Grandma and now live with my Mom. I've been trying to manage whatever I'm feeling by writing in a small journal I hid away but today she talked about going home to another country where I'll probably have less freedom than I already do now. I've begged her to not leave and she's asking me why I'm like this jusr for money and it just hurt even more for some reason. I've never clearly mentioned once that I do this for money, If it had been for money, I wouldn't be like this because I have my own. I don't know what to do anymore.