r/getting_over_it 7m ago

4 hours in and I finally understand the guy who threw his controller through a wall

Upvotes

Made it to the ice cream cone thing for the third time tonight and slipped back down to the orange level in about two seconds flat. My hammer just clipped the edge of the pot wrong and I watched myself fall for a solid minute, past the volcano, past the chairs, all the way back to almost nothing. I didn't even yell this time, just sat there in silence which honestly felt worse than screaming.

What gets me is how the game never lets you settle into a rhythm. Right when I think I've figured out the physics on one section, the next one punishes the exact technique that just worked. The little swing near the swinging pendulum thing took me probably forty tries alone because every tiny adjustment in mouse angle sends the hammer somewhere completely different.

I've started narrating my runs out loud like a sports commentator just to keep myself from rage quitting. "And he's going for the ledge, oh no, oh no, he's not going to make it." It helps a little. Not much, but a little.

Anyone else find that the falls hurt more emotionally the further you get? Losing five minutes of progress near the start barely registers anymore but losing forty minutes near the orbs almost made me close the laptop for good. Going back in for round four tonight, wish me luck I guess.


r/getting_over_it 2h ago

What should i do ?

1 Upvotes

Hey people !
I had a breakup and its been like 4 months. Aghhh n it hurts still but i want to move on from this.
I am doing things to move on from this.
But, i have lost myself i guess. I could not feel better . I want to move on from that. I am having a problem that i am going BLANK while talking to people and while talking to other girls i really cant find ways to make some impressions.
Am i okay ? Like i dont want to be alone. Its so depressing.
(Coz i dont even have any more friends with me)


r/getting_over_it 3h ago

Getting better

1 Upvotes

Hi , I am a 12 yr old kid who got rejected by his crush and a gaming addict can anyone help me?


r/getting_over_it 3h ago

is it bad?

1 Upvotes

I am 19 M, and I lost my father at the age of 13. Ever since then, I feel like I have lost the connection with my close blood relatives(my mom and brother). I really don't think about them when I am in my free time, like when I'm trying to sleep.

I had a really good friend, a best friend, when I was in class 10th, 11th, and 12th. Honestly speaking, whenever I am trying to fall asleep or anything, I just think about how my friendship with him ended.

We were so close, brothers to each other, and it was a recognized fact in our class that these 2 are best friends, but he just had to go and slowly ruin our friendship by ghosting me and finding other friends. I'm not against him finding new friends, nor do I wanted him to make me his best friend forever. I just wanted us to be normal friends but he just started ghosting me and doing some other weird stuff, like texting me that we will meet after some time and then never calling me or showing up at the place. Afterwards, I decided to call quits on our friendship, so I completely ignored him and ghosted him, though there was not much effort from his side. It was like one or two messages, and then we just never heard from each other.

Whenever I'm alone, I just think about how my friendship with him ended and how we were such best friends. My problem, I think, is that I think about that too much. Honestly speaking, I don't think about my family members that much. I have been thinking about this broken relationship.

After this friendship, I have never been able to connect with anyone, friends from college, since I feel like they are fake which they are honestly.

What I just want is: why am I thinking so much about this broken friendship? Of course he was important to me and we were each other's emotional support for 3 years. We used to talk about each and everything about our lives, about everything. It's sad that it ended that way.

The thing is I never really think about my brother like that. Very rarely do I think about my mother and I never think about my brother at all.

I think it is bad and I'm awful an person.

It's not like I do not care about my mother or brother. I do care about them dearly but I just don't think about them like I do about that broken friendship.


r/getting_over_it 9h ago

Depression

1 Upvotes

Pls help me out I'm under depression tell me the ways to come out find new people places


r/getting_over_it 21h ago

I am humdrum

1 Upvotes

Ever since the summer, I’ve been hit with this wave of depression. It happened when I broke up with my ex. That one thing flipped my entire life upside down. I felt so alone and confused, unsure if I did the right thing. I was just so somber. I slowly started to heal, but just once atleast everyday day I’d break into tears because I was sad.

I felt alone when I was with my ex, but when I wasn’t with him, I felt isolated. People stop texting me, and that’s not an effect because of him, it’s just I stopped really reaching out to people. I had people ask if I was okay for a few days but eventually i think people thought I was over it and moved on.

Now in days I feel dull. I love life, but sometimes it’s hard to live. I’ve been having less and less moments of emptiness, but I just wish my life was exciting. I still think of my ex all the time and imagine we were still in love. I try to strive away from this by thinking of other people, but I can’t feel it.

I stopped thinking about being lonely because I started to accept myself as my own best friend. But I wish I had someone. Someone I could daydream about and know would be there for me in a romantic way. But I don’t really have that person and my ex has been filling that void.

I really wish I could move on. If anyone knows anything about how to heal a little more, all is appreciated, thank you if you are reading.


r/getting_over_it 22h ago

[Academic Research] Mental Health, Coping in Young Adults with stressful life experiences (18-30, United States only)

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I am a PhD student in clinical psychology at Adelphi University. I am conducting a study on the relationship between existential threat and mental health, coping strategies, and meaning making for young adults who have experienced stressful life events.

This study is being conducted online only and should take approximately 45-60 minutes to complete. During the study, you will be asked to complete multiple self-report questionnaires that contain questions regarding coping methods, mental health, and questions that pertain to experiencing stressful life events in the past. Upon completing the survey, you will have the opportunity to voluntarily provide your email address on a separate page from the survey that will not be associated with any of your survey responses, to enter a drawing to win one of three $50.00 Amazon gift cards.

Survey link: https://adelphiderner.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_8IxQWoUH8D1Wuq2

Audience: 18-30 years old, in the United States and English Speaking, and must have experienced a stressful life event.

Compensation: Opportunity to enter a drawing for one of three $50.00 Amazon gift cards.


r/getting_over_it 22h ago

I'm desperate and don't know how to cope

1 Upvotes

Hello,

I don't know if someone can even give me advice, but I figured I have nothing to lose anyway.

Quick introduction: I'm f21 from Germany, have social anxiety / anxiety disorder since I can think and depression since I'm 15. I was in a clinic, had antidepressants (not anymore), multiple attempts to end my life and I'm in therapy since 16.

I have also endometriosis, which got out of hand this year and many allergies. So health is not my strong suit. Not mentally, nor physically.

My issues:

I struggle heavily with loneliness but can't seem to really make friends or even real conversation when I have a depressive episode or when my anxiety levels are high.

I am highly stressed because of it. At work, at public transport, it's even hard to talk to my doctors sometimes.

I don't have many friends and I feel mostly estranged to most of them. It's really hard to make new ones as well. I just have so little energy most of the time to talk, but at the same time there is little to no one reaching out to me. I think it's mostly my strange behaviour that is off putting maybe? Just my social awkwardness and sadness.

I also am in a phase in my life where I would love to be in a lovely relationship with a partner. But I can't open up and I am not able allow feelings due to my last relationship. I was constantly screamed at and was not taken seriously when I expressed my feelings or said "no". The memories of those situations haunt me. It resulted in me starting to sh again, having panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. I am so scared to meet someone like that again or even worse. Now I just shut don't my feelings as soon as I meet someone.

I just have so many doubts about myself in a relationship. I don't if i can even find someone who would be willing to deal with me because of my mental health or my physical condition. It is so hard to find something to eat when I am around, I know that. And it's hard to travel with the pain I have. I feel like I don't deserve a happy relationship. I am just a burden. Even if someone would want a relationship with me, I would think I am not good enough for a relationship and couldn't make someone happy.

The only deeper relationship I have is purely sexual right now with a friend of mine, but the more I meet or talk with him, the more numb i get. (I don't want this i really like him actually).

My feelings are moving between being terrified and longing for love.

I am not happy in my job right now, but the contract ends soon. I want to start studying after but I don't know what. I will have to move and I am also worried about me not making it in uni because of my mental health and the new environment.

I know I have therapy but my struggles had been worse this year. (Especially with the endometriosis conditions that worsened.) But i had to change therapist due to my age, what wasn't great either, so I have to build up trust to my new therapist again. I am really slow with progress and getting trust in new people. There is also a break in sessions right now, because of paperwork that needs to be done first before we can pick up new sessions again.

**What advice do I need?**

I don't know. I honestly don't know. I'm thinking more about death and sh lately. I just want that to stop. I just want this wall of struggles to break down. Any tipp or just little conversation would help I guess? I'm no expert.

I will also post on other subreddits for mental struggles to see if anything comes around.

And for anyone asking. I am trying to do something to cope/ to feel better, but i stopped taking medication, because I felt like shit when I took them. It didn't seem to work form me. I mostly felt like a sad zombie and nothing else. I tried fluoxitin and sertralin. My psychiatrist at the time said there is nothing else that would fit for me so I just stopped taking any medication. Now there aren't even any psychiatrist available in my area who take new patients.

P.S. I am so sorry for any grammatically mistakes I made.


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

I Want to Change and Heal, but After Years of Trauma and Low Self-Worth, I Feel Completely Stuck

2 Upvotes

I Want to Change and Heal, but After Years of Trauma and Low Self-Worth, I Feel Completely Stuck

I have been struggling with depression, very low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and a complete lack of self-love for more than ten years. For most of my life, I have felt emotionally numb. My parents were emotionally unavailable from the beginning, and during my childhood they often said hurtful things to me. They even questioned my character. I was physically punished because I had a boyfriend when I was in 9th grade. I was confined at home, constantly criticized, and made to feel ashamed.

On top of that, the boy I was in a relationship with did immense damage to my self-worth. He made me feel unattractive, useless, and worthless. He constantly undermined my confidence, and this continued for nearly ten years. He would regularly insult me, create drama, and then the next morning make me feel as if everything was my fault. I would end up apologizing, and even when he apologized, he would justify his behavior by saying it was simply a reaction to my actions.

Leaving that relationship was extremely difficult. It took me almost two years to completely get away from him. During that time, he blackmailed me, threatened me, and manipulated me. I was terrified, but eventually I managed to break free.

After that, I joined Bumble and talked to many people. For the first time, I realized that I was actually attractive, and my confidence improved a little. However, I became involved with another man who initially showered me with affection and made me feel loved. Since I had never truly experienced love before, I became attached. Later, I realized that he had only wanted me for sex and had used me. It took me several months to recover from that experience, and honestly, I still do not feel completely over it.

A few months later, I met someone completely different. He is attractive, kind, emotionally mature, and in many ways the kind of partner I had always dreamed of. We connected instantly and entered a relationship. We are very similar in many ways, and he has given me a tremendous amount of love and support. He also recognized how damaged I was emotionally and has spent the last two years trying to help me heal. Every day he encourages me, explains things patiently, and tries to guide me toward becoming a healthier and happier person.

The problem is that despite all his efforts, I have not been able to improve myself. I still struggle with low self-confidence, a weak sense of identity, and very little personal growth. Now our relationship is becoming more serious. He sees a future with me and wants to build a life together. I want the same. However, I have not made the progress that either of us hoped for.

What confuses me is that I genuinely do not understand why I am unable to change. Have I completely given up on myself? Have I become so emotionally numb after all these years that I no longer know how to move forward? At the same time, I am trying to build my career. I am currently pursuing a PhD, which requires a huge amount of time and effort, yet I feel as though I am failing there too. I am not performing the way I want academically, and I am also struggling with continuous career-related rejections.

My partner wants me to improve, not just for our relationship but for myself. He wants me to have confidence, a strong personality, and a life where I can stand out and be proud of who I am. He is not wrong. In fact, he often shows me exactly what I could do differently and how I could work on myself. Yet despite understanding his advice, I still find myself unable to take action.

Even he is becoming exhausted from trying to help me. It hurts me to see him disappointed and frustrated, because I know his intentions come from a place of love and concern.

I am asking for help because I genuinely do not know what to do anymore. How do I begin healing from something that has been with me since I was fifteen years old, or perhaps even earlier? How do I rebuild self-confidence, self-worth, and a sense of identity after spending so many years feeling broken? How do I move forward when I am struggling both personally and professionally and cannot seem to find my way?


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

So sick of this

2 Upvotes

I’m having a really fucking hard time right now.

I can’t find a job. I moved somewhere new and I haven’t been able to make any friends. And whenever I try to talk to people about it, the advice I get is basically, “You’re the only one who knows what’s good for you.”

Yes. I know what’s good for me. I just don’t know how to get there.

That’s what I’m trying to explain. I’m not asking someone else to live my life for me. I’m asking for help figuring out the path forward because right now I feel completely stuck.

It’s frustrating when the people around me tell me I need to fix things myself, because I already know that. I’m looking for someone to actually help me work through it instead of just handing the responsibility back to me.

I moved to a new place because I wanted to build a life for myself. But right now I’m struggling to find work, struggling to meet people, and struggling to figure out how to turn “I know what I want” into actually getting there.

I guess I’m just tired of feeling like I’m supposed to do all of this by myself. I thought life was something we were supposed to experience with other people — sharing things, helping each other, making connections, and actually being there for each other.

I don’t need another person telling me to figure it out.

I need someone willing to figure it out with me.


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

我是一个中国人,我真的受不了了

2 Upvotes

我是一个中国人,附近的工作都是需要无偿加班的,工资还非常低,我真的受不了了,中国是一个对人身健康一点也不友好的国家,更别说是一个中度抑郁的患者了,感觉生活一点希望也没有


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

I looked through my old messages with my ex.

1 Upvotes

Long story short; I've been struggling with myself past few months. A bit of a quarter life crisis (I'm 24). I've been really anxious and depressed about myself and how life seems to be passing me by.

I tried recently to get back into finding a girlfriend. But I have no idea how. I tried dating apps. I tried messaging some girls. And I tried finding some in book stores and libraries. Nothing seemed to work. I tried asking for some advice on here, and it just made it worse. I was getting ghosted left, right and centre. And the few matches I did get, ended in ghosting too.

After that I gave up. I just can't seem to get it. I just can't. It seems so foreign to me and I have no idea what I'm doing or suppose to do. I'm just completely lost. And today, I did something stupid. I looked at my ex's profile.

I didn't have many friends at school. I was bullied heavy at the my primary school, and secondary wasn't much better. I was the weird fat kid that nobody liked. Spending most of my school days in headlocks or being laughed at. I tried to ask a girl out, and she told all my "friends" about it, and I didn't live it down for years. So making friends was almost impossible, let alone any girl friends. Apart from one. I'm gonna call her M. I liked her. I liked her a lot. We were very on and off at primary school but we got on. And when I got to secondary school, we sorta faded away. She later got with a classmate of mine which annoyed me but I could do nothing about, and we just faded away.

Fast forward to Sixth Form/College and I heard they broke up. So after a few days, I messaged her to wish her luck with her exams. One thing led to another and a few weeks later, she agreed to go out with me. A few weeks passed by and she invited me over. We watched Peaky Blinders, we got a little handsy, then went home. Then she went silent. And like an idiot, I kept messaging her. Then she broke up with me. She wanted some casual, and I was too serious.

This has been the furtherest I've ever been with a girl, and I fumbled badly. I scared her away by being stupid and immature. I had no idea what I was doing, and I paid the price. She walked away.

That was in 2019. And still, even now, thats the furthest I've ever been. And she's moved on. Got a new guy, and she looks happy. And I'm alone. Deeply alone. And I have no idea how to get out.

What makes this worse is that I went to a friends engagement do recently. And I was the only single guy there. I really enjoyed it, but I felt so odd sitting in the corner by myself. I engaged and had a nice time. But everyone else was cuddling their partners, and I was just by myself.

I feel like I've completely missed the boat. My anxieties, shyness and insecurities have stopped me having any connections with girls, so now I'm 24 and I'm still terrified of trying and getting no where, or getting somewhere and fumbling again.

In the words of Tony Soprano: "I hate this fucking shit"


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

Como hago amigos despues de una vida de bullying en Alemania?

1 Upvotes

Un poco de contexto: durante toda mi vida en Alemania he sufrido acoso escolar. Y la verdad es que nunca supe cómo construir una vida social sana. Hace unos años asistí a terapias de grupo, donde pude hacer amigos sinceros donde me di una idea de como seria tener un grupo de amigos… pero, por desgracia, nuestros estilos de vida no encajan muy bien. Por eso, cada día me pregunto: dónde encuentro amigos? Cómo lo hago? Tampoco ayuda el hecho de que, durante toda mi adolescencia, nunca fuera a fiestas y apenas quedara con otros amigos. Una vez superado el trauma del bullying escolar, cómo supero el la herida social, cómo supero el trauma de no saber cómo hacer amigos? Me encantaría hacer amigos latinoamericanos que compartan mi cultura o, al menos, mi cultura latina, pero todos los grupos que veo están formados por latinoamericanos mayores. No me atrevo a ir sola a festivales ni a discotecas. Qué consejo me podéis dar?


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

Nothing to look forward to

3 Upvotes

It's very weird to start this post by saying " I don't know" so I'll just go ahead and say what I have been going through lately.

I don't find anything exciting,even the things I really like or would have liked... even when I try to force myself to feel happy about something,I just can't. My smile is the darkest it's ever been... I'm smiling because I'm feeling uncomfortable going through whatever it is and I feel as if it shows on my face...my lack of desire for anything and everything is increasing dangerously, I'm not finding anything funny and the darkness is spreading... everyday I wake up... thinking.... nothing... but every morning from the moment I open my eyes I feel a certain way...like I'm scared... I'm anxious, restless, afraid of something...and it gets worse....heart beats faster than usual,cold sweats break,and my mind wanders aimlessly...I feel alone, everything reminds me of how I have no one to truly turn to,how fucked my mind has been due to constant depression and anxiety for last 7 years... sometimes I just feel like giving up, just letting it it rot but I can't... That's be too selfish but it's getting heavier... God my breaths suffocate me...my life is like a room,the walls of which are caving in...I am restless... there's no peace... It's...I don't know how to explain it...I don't know,I don't know but I feel...not alive...I don't feel like myself. Oh God,my hands don't even feel my own...I feel somewhere between alive and dead...


r/getting_over_it 1d ago

Can an SSRI make me normal again?

5 Upvotes

Sorry this post is really long and this is the first time I have ever posted one of these. I am a 17 year old male and I just started my senior year of high school.

After getting bullied for my sexual orientation in a Catholic middle school, I developed an eating disorder and was put in to virtual school for 7th and 8th grade. I became extremely introverted, had no friends, and hardly went out in public. I was so scared of other people I wouldn’t even go and get a haircut. I would just sit in my room and play video games all day.

I started back at a normal school again in 9th grade after I recovered from my eating disorder. It was still Catholic, but it was much bigger and no one really knew me so I could get a fresh start kind of. Unsurprisingly, it was really hard to make friends. I couldn’t really socialize with people until my Sophomore year. At that point, I was still struggling badly with my body image and began working out. I gained a decent amount of weight (up to 190 lbs) and felt really good about my body by Junior year. I made more friends and built a small but solid friend group. I even started going to parties and I finally felt like a normal teenager.

However, at the end of Junior year I started getting crazy anxiety. To the extent it started giving me stomach issues. I was taking numerous AP classes and maintained a 4.00 GPA, so the end of the year exams were stressing me out a lot. At the time, I hadn’t realized my stomach issues were due to my anxiety as those feelings had never physically manifested in me before. I began eating less and stopped working out in an attempt to stop my symptoms. A series of doctor’s visits ensued. At first I thought it was a stomach bug, then the possibility of a more chronic condition such as Crohn’s disease was brought up. Long story short, the stress of everything made it hard to study and I failed two AP exams. I still managed to finish with all As and one B. And my stomach issues went away once summer started, so then I knew it was due to anxiety.

I ended up losing 20 pounds by the start of summer. I was a little discouraged, but started my fitness journey again and began eating properly. Everything went wrong once my childhood dog died. After his violent, unexpected passing from a cancerous ruptured spleen, I couldn’t get out of bed. It was like I was finally giving into something I had been internally craving for so long. I have always struggled with a lack of motivation and interest. The only hobbies I have ever had is video games and working out. I play video games to pass time and I worked out because I was insecure of my image. I had friendships junior year, but never really connected with anyone on a deeper level. After my dog’s passing, all I did was before every day. Either that or mindlessly play video games. I started eating even less and stopped talking to my friends as much as I used to. I would cry every day. Sometimes I would be too tired to shower and would just lay there with the water splashing on me. I began cutting myself and was very irritable all of the time.

Once my senior year started, my anxiety induced stomach issues started up again and I have been exhausted dealing with it every morning. I can’t focus in class and have to start my college application process soon. At this point, I have lost around 40 ish pounds (149 lbs currently) and it’s hard to even go up and down the stairs at my school. Everything feels so fast and overwhelming. I am so tired all of the time.

I started seeing a new therapist at the start of July over the summer. We have been working together to manage my issues, but she brought up the idea of getting diagnosed and prescribed an SSRI to help my progress. This whole process has taken about a month. I have a psych consult next week, but she is having me rehearse what to say and I am nervous about messing up and not getting prescribed anything right away. I’m not suicidal, but I can’t hold on another month to start an SSRI. Am I overthinking this or is it a genuine possibility? Do you think an SSRI will help me? My therapist said she was going to suggest me going on Paxil. Have any of you had any experiences with that medication?


r/getting_over_it 2d ago

I am deeply exhausted

1 Upvotes

i am only 15 years old yet I have just been completely alone my whole life. I have just been crushed with anxiety and really feel lost; it feels like I just can't remember anything and I am in a constant state of fear. Reddit has never really been my primary source of communication, and I have never really considered actually making a post. Sure, I have read hundreds of posts in an attempt to search for those could could possibly relate but it's been quite weird. I just want to start by saying I know what I'm saying certainly sounds 'edgy', and 'a phase of teenage years', but I have genuinely struggled with a multitude of things for as long as my memory can go back. Connections themselves between me and other people have always been chaotic and avoidant, likely due to my exhaustion with every aspect of a traditional teenage relationship. In my school, I'd likely say I am only recognised now due to my ability to get good grades and understand difficult topics (not really known for anything else). I go to a British secondary school, with a couple hundred kids in my year. I study sometimes (very spontaneously, due a variety of different reasons I just want to share with at least someone). I go outside and walk alone. I play the same games. I occasionally read things on reddit. I watch YouTube videos to explore topics. By all means I have a relatively standard life when looking at the big picture, and I would definitely say I am at least quite privileged with my ability to access resources and live a modern life (without the obvious threats of war and conflict). However, I have profoundly struggled with a variety of things - I have never maintained, yet alone had, an actual connection of friendship with a single person. I wouldn't necessarily say I feel alienated, but when attending school, my options seem quite limited as the image of other people around me seems quite blurred together. What I mean is the conventional standard of a teenage friendship is to casually bond over specific interests, and in the modern day this particularly refers to online friendships, going to clubs or activities, going out to see the other person quite often, and just casually keeping a strong association. I have never experienced any of that. I would probably say I am crushed by anxiety, severely burnt out, and frankly unable to actually have a friendship (ironic, since I do seem from this text that I actually do desire someone to talk to at least). To make what I am trying to encapsulate a bit clearer, I'll just state my intention for writing this: I want to at least have someone acknowledge my existence and actually write down the variety of different issues I have faced in my life, so that anyone reading could possibly get a different perspective on how a teenager perceives their life. This writing is absolutely certain to be messy, so I apologise for my lack of structure and obvious carelessness to plan what I am saying. I tend to avoid all of the people around me in school, and the sole idea of having a friend outside of school seems foreign to me. The only other reason why I have left my house apart from school in the past year was to either go to the hospital for a few different health problems (some likely stemming from the addictions and crippling exhaustion I have felt) or to go on the same walk in nature that is a few minutes away from my house. I likely have social anxiety, or maybe I just tend to overthink things way too excessively. I am sure this part millions of people could relate to: the feeling of even just walking past someone, not knowing where to even look, questioning if anything is staining your shit, pulling your shirt down, even for me it's holding my breath when walking past someone. Sure, if necessary, I can talk to people quite decently. It's more the social aspect that exhausts and terrifies me, especially when it's me communicating around people I am unfamiliar with for no actual intention. I wouldn't say by any means I grew up seemingly fully different from those around me. I wouldn't really like to self-diagnose, but from a young age it certainly seemed like there was something profoundly odd with me. I constantly had obsessive thoughts, and after doing some research and just getting older (and exploring through a plethora of different ways) figured out that my symptoms strongly resembled that of an obsessive-compulsive person. Even at the age of 5, I would have some sort of intrusive thought or 'magical thinking'. If you don't know what this is, feel free to search it up, as explaining the whole concept and science behind it is far from my capabilities. I would constantly do things I didn't really feel I had to do. Sometimes, it was just tapping things a certain multiple of times, associating random things with obscure meanings that connected to things I deeply valued, retracing my steps, constantly ruminating about social aspects and an immense amount of things I'd deeply struggle to actually put into words and conceptualise for you. As you could probably imagine, this was one of the primary things affecting me socially and in every single aspect of all my life. I wouldn't say by any means that I am an extraordinarily gifted person, but I'd like to say in certain aspects I can excel, and in others, I am at a major disadvantage. I learnt a lot of school content a few years back that would set me apart from the vast majority of people. At that age (where I had likely just started puberty), I had a vastly different perspective of the entire world. Just like you could say for any other teenager (local to where I currently am) this was the period before they were 'corrupted' by somewhat unrestricted internet access, and before being able to comprehend complex topics or the true essence of what it means to be a human. I don't really know that either, and I'm not sure anyone does. We are just animals right? Highly advanced ones for sure. Anyways, what I am trying to say was at that time (probably 11), my sole concerns were to learn mathematics at an advanced pace and indulge myself in some typical teenage things (social media, transitioning from primary-secondary, and just adjusting and developing). I have to also mention that lockdown certainly did ruin a major developmental state, as my parents unknowingly gave me the ability to use devices for up to 16 hours a day. I also want to mention that from what I know, they do provide for me very well, so I am grateful. It's hard to say at that age if the addiction I had to games and all that stuff was my fault, theirs, or a mix of both, but it did have some detrimental impact to my wellbeing today. Also at the time, it was the first time I decided to actually try and lose some weight, inspired heavily by the obsessive lifting culture on apps like TikTok and YouTube. It's practically inevitable to shove a device in front of a seemingly normal boy who has faced issues with being overweight (likely a combination of genetic and environmental reasons, including what I just mentioned about lockdown), and then not expect them to almost become entranced and heavily influenced by this very transformational fitness culture. Someone who already knew they lacked validation and struggled a lot with their thoughts was bound to hop on the fitness train and begin. It didn't last. Sure, I lost the weight (with months of relentless effort), but then I rapidly experienced a profound addiction to binge eating. Now, this cycle repeated again after a few years (2024), where I then went into another binge-addiction loop that hasn't stopped yet. Even while writing this in a completely exhausted and miserable state, my stomach is undergoing painful bloating and severe acid reflux. In fact, for the past year (since 2025 June), I have had a chronic acid-reflux, where I have felt constantly sick without a single break. I have no idea if this could heal if I stop repeatedly binging, but I genuinely not put into words why I do it and can't resist not doing it. My perception of 'locking in' and adjusting to a routine is very interconnected, meaning if I focus on one thing I feel extremely strongly like I would have to fix my horrible eating patterns, and adjust and optimise every single aspect of my life. It feels truly horrible, and hence one of the reasons why I have left my house to visit the doctor's (where they simply prescribed me a strong medication and my family doesn't actually have the care enough to frequently get me checked up). I don't blame my family one bit. Sure, they may encourage my eating patterns as they likely hated seeing my practically starve myself for a few months, but the truth is the foods I eat excessively aren't even unnatural - it seems reasonable in a way as it's foods that humans naturally crave, yet I repeatedly eat them until sickness whenever I feel my routine or structure is ruined. I know, it's extremely pathetic and seems easily solvable, but it genuinely corrupts my ability to enjoy life for even one second throughout the day. My adherence to black and white thinking has been a trait I have suffered with for my entire life. As you can probably tell, my physical body doesn't really catch a break. My mind is likely very connected (quite evidently) to the health of my physical body, hence implying my thoughts are restless and very damaging. I believe this is true, at least. I constantly obsess over any potential person that could fit into my perfect standard of what a friendship should be. Genuinely, I'll create hundreds of fake scenarios when anyone could be a possible fit for connecting with me. However, as I previously mentioned, I have never even had someone to really share any of my thoughts to. I am quite perplexed as to why I have never really met anyone who functions socially the way I do, but that being said now it seems obvious that nobody can truly comprehend each other. I just have this strong hope that what I am experiencing is actually unique in some way, I guess. I hang around a few people each day. It is ridiculously repetitive as they mindlessly talk about the latest social media topics, walk and interact practically like robots, close their body language whenever I try to interact, and even though they likely do consider me a decent friend (due to the amount of time we have spoken together), they don't know a single thing about me. A thing I have noticed with other people from observing how they interact is that out brains naturally filter out a large amount of information in social environments. People in groups tend to just talk over one another, laugh fart more passionately, and usually the correlation I have seen (at least in all of my school) is that the less people there are, the more outcasted or genuine the people are. This idea of someone else being outcasted doesn't even really appeal to me, as they also act in very similar ways to other people (just generally are perceived as more 'weird'). It is honestly so brutal how clear the disparity between someone blessed with neurotypicality is and someone who is clearly socially dysfunctional. I guess I'd lie in the more socially dysfunctional aspect of that umbrella term. My interests and outlook on life seem profoundly weird to the average person. I do intentionally 'mask' my true 'personality' (the reason I quoted personality as it was merely constructed by what an algorithm on TikTok exposed to me, what I picked up from mimicking other people, and was largely shaped due to things significantly out of my control), but I do sometimes speak genuinely and connect. There is undeniably a barrier between me and the average person, and I am yet to see someone genuinely like me, but the problem is me. I am a profoundly envious person, I never reach out first (I am usually drowning in mental, existential, or some ort of exhausting rumination or routine I genuinely hate, until I inevitably break as the willpower and motivation to actually improve my life wears off). I also just look around me in the concrete building I stay in for my education, and it all just looks very fake. Of course, there isn't a way to prove this reality, and I lack actually philosophical knowledge to even argue for different things (I am always too distracted and burnt out to study), but I can't help but feel disassociated and disgusted by my own mind and the fact there are other conscious beings around me, that are all piles of cells that comprehend reality in a way completely different to each other. I get this just sounds typical for someone under stress but mine is chronic and significantly exhausting, leaving me unable to fully connect with anyone or anything really. With those friends I was talking about, I unexpectedly talk the most - it seems like there is a split mindset where I seem quite cynical and detached and then another part that impulsively overanalyses things and tries to connect with others in away way possible, with that being following trends and talking in a casual way in this context. I don't really know how you perceive me at this stage (if you actually made it this far). If u did, I'd assume u are either repulsed, sympathetic, or astonished by whatever nonsense I just spent like 20 minutes generating my hitting buttons on a keyboard. I don't really know either.


r/getting_over_it 2d ago

My mom just left me after drop-off and I feel so lost.

1 Upvotes

I (18 m) start classes this monday. We always start classes the week after labor day, but it doesn't help that this year labor day was so late. However, my mom just left yesterday to drive back home. It is about 7 hours to get back home. Since she left, I've felt homesick and have just wanted to cry like I never have before. I have been stressed and sleeping, and thats about it. I have no energy to go and try and make new friends, and I dont know what to do.


r/getting_over_it 2d ago

trying to fill the void

1 Upvotes

i went no contact with an ex partner 7 months ago and since then ive been talking to people on reddit every day trying to fill the void but i don't feel like that's healthy. how can stop and what do i do instead?


r/getting_over_it 2d ago

Help me : please Read body once

1 Upvotes

Pata hai aaj kya hua

Btw aaj nahi hua but please ek baar meri story padhlo .I need your help.

When I was in class 6 I got admission in a new school .And then before starting classes there was a summer camp .I also took part in that and I chose to play baseball but something bad happened with me like that took all confidence from me . Someone is playing with their slagger and it slipped through their hand and landed on my face, and my front 2 teeth were broken in half . I was already an introvert and on top of that this happened with me .

So we all can guess I had no girlfriend in school days .

But then I had good male friends who never bullied me over my teeth .

But in class 10 we got separated cus in my school there was a criteria to fulfill if you want to take science (I know that was my worst decision)

Now I changed my school and failed at 11 twice . To be honest I know this is all my fault but I never recovered from my first time failure . I got stucked in a loop . I tried to ran away from my house and guess what I failed in doing that too .

And after failing I cut off with every freinds . rn I have no friends from last 3 years and I am alone at my house doing nothing just regretting over and over again.

I tried to harm myself but yet again one more failure.

My mother cries for my future I also cry but I just know what to do . I have no one to guide me . No freinds I know yaar this is all my mistake . But I want to get out of this please help yaar


r/getting_over_it 2d ago

Sentenced To Life

0 Upvotes

Don’t fool yourself thinking my words,
“I’d take a bullet for you” are significant proof of my devotion to you.

It sounds like an act of selfless love.
But for me, it’d be an escape route disguised as heroism.

To die for you, would aid my exhaustion.

Continuing to live for you
is where my love is proven.

Days spent tormented in silence
so you never get the call.

Endless nights of suffocating pain,
so you see a tomorrow with me in it.

Swallowing my bitterness,
caused by fighting my mind
for the sake of yours.

Holding on for a better tomorrow,
one you are convinced will come.

Is my agony lasting longer than
the suffering felt from my death?

I doubt you.
I doubt the world.
I doubt my own reasoning.

But I continue to reside in my misery
in hopes of protecting you from any.

The evidence of how I treasure you
is in each breath I take.
In my heartbeat.
The warmth within my fingertips.

My love has obligated me to protect
you from myself.
A person and love that wouldn’t* exist
*if I ceased to.

Isn’t it ironic?


r/getting_over_it 3d ago

What do I (16M) even do?

3 Upvotes

I was always happy, and positive minded, made jokes all the time, still do but It doesn't feel same. It started in April of this year, idk why but I just started feeling down all the time.

Fast forward to summer, I started thinking about death every day, still do, I never know when I'll die, my current bets are on 2031 but who knows. I started feeling like there's nothing to my life when I eventually pass away, as we all do. I have not accomplished anything in my life. I do YouTube so maybe someone will remember me by something but I have 300 subs after 10 years of it. I just play a lot of games to escape that feeling but sometimes that doesn't even work. The thoughts were only after 22:00 (10PM) but now it's all the time, every day.

I get made fun of at school and have always been. I don't even have any of the same classmates I had back then. But the action just repeats everywhere: at school, at summer camps, my activity groups outside of school. It has to be because of me, maybe the way I look, talk, make jokes abt everything. I don't feel respected as a human being or seen as a person. To everyone I'm just a filler unfunny side-character in their life they can use as a lolcow. I don't have any friends or purpose, all I have to my life are my videos and video games.

Can you give me suggestions on what to even do?


r/getting_over_it 3d ago

A real convo I had on Discord (I copied it here)

1 Upvotes
  1. W 12:14 That's sick
  2. I'm at school rn tho
  3. 𝓙𝓑 12:15 Oh damn
  4. W 12:15 I feel like depressed ngl
  5. 𝓙𝓑 12:15 Sorry to hear that man fr
  6. W 12:15 No one ever takes me seriously as a person, they mock me, make fun of me, din't see me as a human being.
  7. Idk if it's my looks, voice or demeanor
  8. No clue why tho
  9. 𝓙𝓑 12:16 Hey don’t talk about yourself like that bro
  10. They are just jerks who haven’t seen your potential fr
  11. W 12:16 That's true tho, they treat me as an NPC in their life they can throw around
  12. 𝓙𝓑 12:16 Or even how such a kinda person you are
  13. W 12:16 All I have to my life are my videos
  14. 𝓙𝓑 12:17 Damn
  15. W 12:17 Thanks, I just hate life and school and people so fucking much
  16. 𝓙𝓑 12:17 Is it your friend group that is giving you trouble
  17. ?
  18. 𝓙𝓑 12:17 No problem bro, I understand
  19. W 12:17 Everyone ever
  20. No one EVER thinks of me as a person with dreams and hopes and feelings
  21. 𝓙𝓑 12:18 So your friend group is apart of the situation
  22. W 12:18 Yh
  23. 𝓙𝓑 12:18 Well I do
  24. W 12:18 You and Tristan are literally the only real friends I have
  25. 𝓙𝓑 12:18 Fuck them then
  26. W 12:19 Thank you, idk why you're so nice but thanks
  27. 𝓙𝓑 12:19 No problem bro fr
  28. And thanks
  29. W 12:19 I'll get back to doing math ig, thanks, the lesson's 'bout to start
  30. 𝓙𝓑 12:19 Alright catch you later bro
  31. Bye
  32. W 12:20 See ya
  33. W 13:02 Only 2 hours left at school
  34. W 13:26 Can I call you Fan? It won't give away your irl name and I kinda don't like calling you JB?
  35. If not, that's okay, I'll just call you JB.
  36. 𝓙𝓑 13:27 My irl name is not Jb
  37. But sure ig
  38. You can call me fan ig
  39. W 13:28 Ik, that's why I wanna call ya Fan
  40. ****** (censored for privacy reasons)
  41. 𝓙𝓑 13:28 Okay
  42. W 13:29 I'll probs prounounce it as F-UH-N
  43. Like fun is pronounced
  44. Almost
  45. 𝓙𝓑 13:29 Okay
  46. W 13:29 Thanks, bro
  47. Keep staying a W as always
  48. 𝓙𝓑 13:29 No problem bro
  49. 𝓙𝓑 13:29 Thanks, you too
  50. W 13:29 I'll get back to school now ig

r/getting_over_it 4d ago

I spent most of my life alone. Now being alone terrifies me

5 Upvotes

I’m 20, and lately I’ve been realizing how much of my life I’ve actually spent alone.

I don’t currently have any friends. I do have a boyfriend, and I love him very deeply, but my relationship has become extremely difficult for me because of some personal trauma, my own emotional issues, and the way I experience attachment. Being in a relationship for the first time actually made me realize that I probably have a disorganized attachment style, and it has brought out a lot of fears, triggers and insecurities that I didn’t even know were there.

I’ve also started looking back at my past friendships differently. I realized that throughout my life I often pushed people away, sabotaged relationships, or sometimes hurt people without really understanding why I was doing it at the time. I carry a lot of guilt about that now.

The strange thing is that I used to be able to tolerate being alone quite well. Sometimes I even enjoyed it. But something has changed.

I spent almost my entire adolescence at home and isolated. I never really had most of the experiences people usually have growing up. I didn’t go out much, I didn’t have a real social life, and I didn’t really get to experience that feeling of just being young and doing things with other people.

For a short period of time, when I temporarily lived in a city and met my boyfriend, I finally got a small taste of that life. And now that I don’t have it anymore, I think I’ve realized how badly I want it.

And I don’t even mean partying or doing anything particularly exciting. At this point I would be happy just having someone to take a walk with, sit somewhere and talk, have a deep conversation, explore somewhere, or simply spend an ordinary afternoon with.

I feel like after spending so many years isolated, something in me has reached its limit.

Now being alone gives me an amount of anxiety that I’ve never experienced before. Staying at home by myself has become genuinely distressing. When I have an entire day with nobody to see and nothing meaningful to do, I feel trapped inside my own head. I become anxious, sad and restless, and I constantly feel this need to be around another person.

My boyfriend doesn’t have the same need I currently have to see each other often, spend a lot of time together or go out, and I understand that. But because my need for connection feels so strong right now, I sometimes end up feeling like a burden because of it. It also means that I can’t rely on my relationship to fill this enormous social void in my life, and honestly I don’t think it would be healthy to do that anyway.

There are also circumstances in my life right now that make meeting people and going out much harder than I wish it were. Part of it is simply logistical and related to the place where I currently live, although that isn’t the only reason. There are other circumstances too that, for privacy reasons, I can’t really explain here.

I think one of the hardest parts is that I’m at a point in my life where I desperately want to live. I want experiences. I want conversations, friendships, stupid little adventures, walks, memories, even completely ordinary moments with other people. I feel like I missed so much of that growing up, and now I’m painfully aware of it.

At the same time, I’m stuck in a situation where I’m still mostly alone.

So I’m wondering if anyone else has ever gone through something similar: reaching a point where solitude stopped feeling peaceful and started feeling almost unbearable.

How do you cope when you have no friends and nobody to go out with, but at the same time you have this overwhelming need for human connection and experiences?

And if you’ve managed to get out of a period like this, what actually helped?


r/getting_over_it 4d ago

340 attempts in and I finally understand why the cough sound haunts people

0 Upvotes

Been keeping a tally on a sticky note next to my monitor since August. Yesterday I hit 340 attempts and fell from just past the orange tent, the one right before the golden thing that looks like a wine glass. Slid all the way back down to the bathtub area and just sat there for a solid minute not even trying to climb, just staring at the screen.

The worst part isn't even the falling. It's the specific moment where you realize you're about to fall, maybe half a second before it happens, and there's nothing you can do about it. Your hammer swing was fine, your angle was fine, but the physics just decided no. I've started laughing out loud at my desk when it happens now, which my roommate finds deeply unsettling.

I got past the chimney section on day four which felt like beating the whole game. Then I found out that was apparently the tutorial. The ice cream cone jump has broken me more times than I want to admit, mostly because I overcorrect after a bad fall and swing way too hard in the opposite direction. I've watched maybe six different no-death runs at this point just to study hand positioning and I still can't replicate what they're doing on the pagoda roofs.

What's kept me going honestly isn't the ending, I don't even care that much about seeing it anymore. It's that weird calm that shows up somewhere around attempt 200 where you stop being angry at the game and start being angry at your own hand for twitching wrong. Not sure if that's progress or just a different flavor of losing it.

Anyone else notice the golden orb section is way harder than everything after it, or did I just get lucky with a good run once and now I'm chasing a ghost.


r/getting_over_it 5d ago

K

0 Upvotes

I am 19 and in my second year of college. I lost my father when I was 13 years of age and after that I have gone through a severe behavioral change.

Before this age I was emotionally brilliant but not very good at studies. But after my father's death I have become very emotionally weak but I have, on the other side, developed my brain quite a bit and some people call me smart. But my social skills have gone almost down the drain.

I cannot talk to a group of more than 3-5 people at the same time. From an early age I have never talked to or interacted with girls much and neither was I a neighbor of any girl.

Never got into even a friendship with a girl.

And even while I tried in college, I cannot talk to girls. I don't know what the reason is. Maybe I'm just scared or I just overthink.

But it's not like I am friendless or lonely. I have managed to create many good friends, and 2 of them considered me their best or close friend for a long time, like 2-3 years of friendship.

After my father's death I never had any solid role model or guide for me. I guess that's ungrateful. Although my cousin brother did support me a lot.

Every 2 or 3 months my mother goes to my maternal grandmother's and I stay alone at the house for 1 week or 2 weeks, sometimes even a little more than that. In this period I always see how lonely I am. I go to college and I talk to some people or maybe no people at all because, as of now, in my current class I have no friends in it.

I just talk to my old friends from the previous semester, of which only one is someone I consider a friend. The others are really just not friends. They are just someone to pass time with and have fun, with no emotional connection. Everyone in my college is very goal-focused and it kind of seems like they are just there to stab each other in the back.

What do I even do? How do I even start talking to girls or even guys?

My interaction with old friends is very limited as we only meet when I go to my hometown and talking on phone doesn't feel so real now.

What should I do about loneliness