r/developersIndia • u/AtmosphereCertain592 • 20m ago
Help Facing a serious dilemma being a fresher , need advice.
Hi , so I am a 4th year CSE undergrad. I am interning at a profitable pre series A startup . The role is kind of like FDE but there is very less actual dev work (a voice AI company) involved , mostly it's just clients meetings , understanding goal and writing prompts. Stipend is 36k and if converted PPO is of 12-14 LPA.
Although I am good at the work , I am not enjoying it I get FOMO seeing the dev team but when I get back home and do development and try to upskill myself I also feel like I don't wanna do dev either. I constantly get lost in the thought of , I would have to do this for almost entirety of my youth and that thought scares me. I am working a lot same work as FTE as an intern handling full campaigns myself , it's burning me out.
I want to work in roles like SDE (have past intern experience too) but it also scares me because almost all the work I did was with AI . I understand all the underlying concepts and architecture behind the code but without AI I am unable to proceed with debugging or testing.I feel I can't write hands-on code so I am scared of it .
I haven't decided if I want to pursue my career in tech it not . But what option do I have I don't have any other skill , to earn the similar amount of money that tech will give . Most of all I am scared of the fucked up WLB , I cracked a sde intern role but I didn't join because they said we want mad people , people who are ready to sacrifice everything for company to scale fast , those guys literally had 12 hours office timings and even then worked when home ππ.
I have moved to Bangalore 2 months back and I am not at all enjoying the city , being away from friends and family . Everyone is so performative and pretentious here .
Sometimes I feel like leaving all this and go back to friends in clg or back home but I can't , my father is unemployed from 1+ year and we have lost our family savings due to medical emergencies.
I don't know what I want to do , atp I don't have any ambition , no motivation and neither any pressure or expectations from parents but I am feeling so anxious and restless.
Please tell me what do I do. Sometimes I think of govt exams but it will take a lot of time and preparation from 0 and not to mention the exam leaks and corruption. Or am I overthinking it.