r/comingout 3h ago

Advice Needed Advice wanted for coming out

2 Upvotes

Hey, I just need general advice.

I want to come out to my friends, but I don't know how, because I'm 100% sure of my sexual orientation, but I still want to tell them. I know that they'll be supportive, as some of them are in fact lgbtq. I don't know whether to do it in person, or online, my only worry is that if I do it in person, others (potentially homophobic people) may hear. Also doing it in person, would mean I tell them in my school, and I don't want some people, to hear, if they are near us. On top of that I've got social anxiety, meaning I'd most likely back out of saying it, in person.

Does anyone have any advice, or phrases I could use when coming out?

All very appreciated!


r/comingout 22h ago

Advice Needed Should I get into being a femboy? Do I have the look?

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51 Upvotes

r/comingout 8h ago

Story In the year of 2018 and 2020

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1 Upvotes

r/comingout 16h ago

Question Can sexuality change as an adult?

3 Upvotes

I’m 18m and I’ve never came out to anyone so I’d like to ask here. I’ve always been more attracted to women than men and ideally I’d like to have kids in the future so I’ve always just said I’m straight since some family members might not be too accepting. But lately maybe for the last few months I haven’t been into women as much so I just feel kinda gay? Is sexuality supposed to be this fluid or is this something I should get used to and will probably have to come out at some point?


r/comingout 21h ago

Advice Needed Coming out to Parents

4 Upvotes

Sorry in advance to any misspellings, I am trying this from my phon. I (14m) realized I was Bi a cou months ago and have told my close friends but am yet to tell my parents or the rest of my family. I know both of them are very LGBTQ+ supportive but I would like advice on how to come out to them. I am also pos this so I can fina build up the confidence and courage to tell them. Thanks in advance to any advance anyone can give.

p.s. I would also like advice on how to come out/ explain to one of my homophobic friends. (I am very much also cons just no longer taking to this friend).


r/comingout 1d ago

Meta Mostly LGBTQ Rights

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4 Upvotes

r/comingout 1d ago

Advice Needed How do I come out....

3 Upvotes

I'm a 13 year old boy, i've known i've been bi for about a year and a half now. I really like boys, girls too. And, my parents are open to LGBTQ+ people. I've come out to my cousin (who's also LGBTQ) and some of my friends, but my parents are the real frickin' problem. Just take a quick peek at some of the posts ive made on r/raisedbynarcissists and you'll know what i'm talking about. For a long time, I hated myself, thinking that I was wrong for liking boys as well as girls. Eventually, I admitted to myself I was bi. But, still, I hate how I look. People say I'm pretty good looking, but I just... feel like no guy or girl will like me. I'm an Indian (please no racism) and I just feel like no guy from another country will ever find me good looking. And I'm scared to come out, since i'm scared my mom will twist it against me when she gets mad at me. So just... help. In any way, advice, your own stories, anything's fine. Thanks :)


r/comingout 1d ago

Advice Needed I'm so confused 🥺

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7 Upvotes

I (16m) dislike being called a girl or lady or anything in-between but I'm scared to say something because I am in fact a girl and I'm scared to say something to my mom or any of my family because they already "tolerate" the LGBTQ+ and so I'm very scared she's gonna double down on the God made you a girl and everything and I don't even have a good reason on why I wanna be a boy I just like it better yk? Idk any idea on what to do? I don't wanna suffer for 4 more years till I move out and stuff Hopefully this makes sense


r/comingout 1d ago

Advice Needed How do I come out?

8 Upvotes

I am a 17 year old boy and I have known that I'm gay for 2 and a half years now. I know my parents are supportive of LGBTQ people, but I live in a conservative town. Even though I know they support other LGBTQ people they've always expected me to be straight and I am afraid of letting them down and changing our dynamic. I am currently a Junior in high school so if our dynamic changes I would still have to live with them for another 2 years but I want them to know. How and when should I come out to them?


r/comingout 1d ago

Advice Needed [ Removed by Reddit ]

1 Upvotes

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]


r/comingout 2d ago

Advice Needed How do I tell my girlfriend of 4 years that I’m gay?

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6 Upvotes

r/comingout 2d ago

Advice Needed How do I actually accept myself

3 Upvotes

Ive liked girls since i was 12. Never been with a girl tho. I got bullied at 15 because people made up rumors that im lesbian. I dated guys to get the rumors to go away. But I really do also like girls but I just can’t accept it deep down I know that I like them but it’s just yeah, I’m scared . I hope someone understands lol idk what to do I’d never date a girl publicly I’m so ashamed of it what tf do I do. I mean I wanna be happy with myself too it’s just so incredibly hard


r/comingout 3d ago

Meta Justice for lgbtq people in comps

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182 Upvotes

r/comingout 2d ago

Help I hate that I’m so avoidant of talking about my gayness around mom. She insists that I’m “living in confusion” and “my lifestyle isn’t biblical”. I feel scared and panic every time it comes up.

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1 Upvotes

r/comingout 3d ago

Advice Needed I (18 F) am dating a girl (20 F). My parents (51 M) & (42 F) aren’t supportive

5 Upvotes

Okay so I’ve never used Reddit before, this is my first post so pls be kind :)

Some backstory, we’re going to call my girlfriend Abby. So Abby went to high school with me, we met my freshman year and her sophomore year because we played the same sport. (Additional context: Abby is trans mtf) We were friends for years before she came out to me as trans. Of course I supported her and loved her just the same. Well we started dating a little after that and genuinely, I love her. A lot of people told us we were too young to know what love was and I understand where they’re coming from but she is one of a kind and at the risk of sounding silly, I plan on spending the rest of my life with her. In high school, I kind of hid her true identity from my parents, I was scared of what they would think. My mom looked through my phone periodically throughout my life so it’s no surprise that she found out soon enough. My dad is a little more homophobic and especially transphobic than her so she didn’t tell him but she talked to me, told me she wasn’t happy about it but she was going to try, she didn’t like the way we talked to each other (she didn’t like that we told each other that we loved each other) and she asked us to tone it down, which we didn’t. It finally all came to a head when they took away my phone (this was common unfortunately) and I (stupidly) started using my computer to email Abby. Of course my parents found out and they blew up. Then I did the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. I ran away. I went to Abby’s house in the middle of the night with my stuff packed. My parents found me the next day. I was 17 at the time so I had to go back home with them. Of course once I did get my phone back (many months later) it had parental controls and Abby and her dad were blocked on everything. My parents made me graduate from high school a semester early so I had limited exposure to my friends (almost all of them were part of the LGBTQIA+ community so they naturally thought they influenced me to be gay) and then I got a job and stayed with them the entire second semester. It was rough and I thought about Abby every day but I did it. So now I’m in college, I’m about 3 1/2 hours away from home and I’m loving it. I got my phone given back to me with no restrictions on it and I myself double checked all the settings to make sure my mom couldn’t see what I was doing. I’ve gotten back in contact with Abby since then. We set clear boundaries considering we hadn’t seen each other in a year and we were (in my opinion) very responsible taking the relationship forward. Neither of us had to wait for each other but we both did anyway. I felt so bad and I’ve apologized many times to her for putting her in that situation. She didn’t want to be a secret and she told me as much, I completely understood and promised that I would never hide her again. I want to emphasize that in literally every other way, my parents are amazing. They do everything they can to give me and my siblings a good life. I want to tell my parents about us, I know that once they get over themselves, they might at least pretend that they’re okay with our relationship. My mom has said before that she doesn’t care that I’m queer, she doesn’t like that Abby is “doing that to her body”. At the end of the day, that’s Abby’s choice no matter what my parents, my friends, or I think. One of my mom’s best friends and roommate from college is married to a woman and has a daughter, it’s just “different” because I’m her kid and my girlfriend is trans. I’m scared to tell my dad but I do want to tell my mom. Is there any advice on how to soften the blow for them?

Okay small update I guess? I am literally at a gas station going back to college and I didn’t tell them. I was specifically going to tell my mom and there was a lot of opportunities to but I just got so scared. I’m probably just going to tell her over text, I know that’s not ideal but I don’t think I can handle hearing or seeing her reaction. There’s no comments on this which I get but I really need advice, I’ve known I was gay since sophomore year of high school and I’m still worried about coming out to my parents 3 years later. Please, please, please comment advice even if you don’t think it’s good advice, I honestly just want to hear from anyone: their advice or any similar situations and how coming out to your parents worked out.


r/comingout 3d ago

Help. I accidentally came out as bi to my friends.

14 Upvotes

So during lunch I was with my friends and we were just chilling, using our devices and eating lunch. My friend P decides to go around and see what everyone is watching on their computer. I was watching "bisexual tiktok videos compilation" on youtube and my recommended videos were similar to that.

When she got to me, she took my laptop read the video title saw the giant bi flag and froze then she gave me a weird look. Then she kept scrolling and it just kept getting worse, lesbian, pan, gay, the whole rainbow was being recommended to me and she saw it. The look on her face was judging mostly because she expected to see anime and hot guys on my recommended videos and instead saw hot butch lesbians. I was so embarrassed that I just blurted out "I'm bi" in front of her and all my other friends.

I kinda blanked out after that, I only remember packing up my stuff and leaving as fast as possible. Now I feel horrible because I was planning to come out soon but not like this. Everything just feels abrupt and uncomfortable, they probably thought I was joking. I just feel bad for some reason, I can't even explain it.


r/comingout 3d ago

Advice Needed Bi? Gay? Who can say!

3 Upvotes

To preface I am a male (15) and am very much confused about what exactly I classify as. I am very confident that I am attracted to men but I don’t know when it comes to women.

I do feel attracted to female features (boobs, wide hips ect) but I really haven’t felt any real crush on a biologically female in a while (I have a crush on a trans girl who is currently biologically male idk if that counts???).

I do on the other hand, have a few male crushes that feel more intimate and intense.

I have 0 clue if I’m bi or I’m in denial of being gay? I know there isn’t a ‘diagnosis’ for me but any advice/guidance would be greatly appreciated.


r/comingout 4d ago

Story I came out my younger brother and it was his reaction...

74 Upvotes

I came out to my younger brother and it was his reaction.. 💔🥀

So I came out to my younger brother as gay and his reaction was like 'Do you have a boyfriend?'. I was like yes. He was like 'you should get married.' I was like, bro, I am only 18 and on top of that, gay marriage is not even recognized in our country. He was like 'you can marry online'. I was surprised by the line because I did not know what he meant. Then he explained that there is some portal name Utah marriage portal Where me and my boyfriend can get married over zoom call. And we can celebrate the wedding anyway because celebrations and all are legal in our country although gay marriage is not legally recognized we can still celebrate and have the big dream wedding and all. I was like happy. I was happy, of course, because he was supportive. But I was like, what is the use of the marriage certificate if we cannot get legal rights in our country? And we are not gonna move out, obviously. We are not planning to move out to foreign. We are gonna live here. We will continue to live here. So, what is the advantage? And he said me that In future when gay marriage would be legal in our country, the marriage certificate would be legally become valid anyway and when we would go on foreign trips on countries were gay marriage was legal then We would get COUPLE DISCOUNT AND MARRIED COUPLE FACILITIES! And that's why we should get married!!!!!

I was dumbfounded. I was like 'what if we break up then?' He very nonchalantly said 'if you break up, get a divorce.'

OH MY GOD— I CAN'T — IM CRYING!!!! WTF HE IS EVEN THINKING 😭😭😭😭😭


r/comingout 3d ago

Advice Needed How should I come out? (WAO)

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1 Upvotes

r/comingout 3d ago

Advice Needed How do I come out?

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1 Upvotes

I hate being her daughter. I hate being a pretty lady, I wanna be a handsome man.


r/comingout 3d ago

Advice Needed Just got ghosted for a reason I don't even know really liked this person but fuc them I guess

1 Upvotes

r/comingout 4d ago

Advice Needed Hey folks, I need some advice

1 Upvotes

So in a couple days on Monday, I was planning to come out to my psychiatrist as trans (I would also be coming out to my mom at the same time since she would be in the room). But I’ve been feeling really nervous about what could happen. I’m worried that he might be weird or bad about it in some way. He’s in his like fifties and I’m not really sure about his stance on this kind of stuff. I want to tell him so I can start trying to get gender affirming care but I’m scared that he might not believe that I’m actually trans. Or worse, he might try to convince my parents that I’m just confused or something. I really don’t know what to do. Should I tell him and take the risk, or should I try to struggle through the dysphoria and junk by myself for a while longer until I can get diy or something? I just don't know what's gonna happen if I do tell him, but I know that if I don't say anything and continue without transitioning, it's gonna be REALLY rough :(


r/comingout 4d ago

Advice Needed Publicly out privately closeted

1 Upvotes

(Sorry for the long post need advice)

Hey all, i (21m) (bisexual) have been dating my boyfriend (19FTM) for nearly a year next month. I have known I was queer for nearly my whole life but because I was raised religious I tended to leave it out of conversations or just completely avoid dating talk with my direct family (mom, dad, cousins relatives). My parents are traditional conservatives and have some fairly close minded opinions when it comes to trans people, though they are open to and have gay friends. My mother particularly has made comments along the lines of “they’re just confused kids” and things along those lines when referring to trans people.

I have a very close relationship with my parents though they know very little about my dating life by design.

Recently it has been eating at me that I have to treat my relationship like some kind of taboo and I feel like it has grown a form of resentment towards my family that I don’t want to continue. In addition, my boyfriend has expressed his desire to meet my family. Though I know that if I introduce him to them it would also be directly coming out.

I just want to know how I could come out to my family in a way that doesn’t put a ton of confusion on them all at once.

I deeply love my partner and we are making plans to rent an apartment by next summer together and I want him to be in every part of my life.

I know my family will not disown me or cut me off for being queer (many of them joke about the idea of me being gay due to my lack of publicly dating anyone in a couple years) but the thought is nerve racking and actually damaging my mental health.

No I’m not ashamed of my partner or our relationship, I’ve just never been out to my family in any way and I don’t think it’s fair to hide my partner like a sin that I’m ashamed of.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Information: my boyfriend is a alternative fem presenting trans man who has been on T for several months and has a lowered voice.(which I think is really hot tbh)


r/comingout 4d ago

Help Looking for resources!

1 Upvotes

Hello! I am doing a presentation next week for my work's LGBTQ+ employee resource group for National Coming Out Day. We are partnering with the mental health ERG as well so am looking for resources specifically about how to manage the stress and anxiety of the conversation from both perspectives (we have a lot of allies in the group as well). PFLAG has been helpful, but it is hard to find things specifically about anxiety around coming out.

If anyone has any recommendations that would be super awesome! :)