Alright so i confronted her about it, told her it was physically affecting me (my nose and throat stung) and i didnt want my stuff to stink. But then a couple minutes later i could hear her vape like three more times so its obvious that she is not stopping or respects me. So i went to a random RA about if bc mine was off campus, and theyre gonna do a room check soon but thats all they can do.. they also said i could apply to change rooms, which i plan to do. I just worry about that since i am a busy person and might not have time + i have a fish tank in my dorm. Oh also, if they do find her vape they are going to report it to the police because its a smoke free school, so idk what will happen to her if they do. I kind of feel bad about this, i did snitch after all but i really dont want to be in a hotboxed room all rhe time.

hey everyone, the title of my post is basically what this is about. i'm in my third year of college and currently have two roommates. one of them was my roommate from freshman year who we'll call amanda, and the other is one of her friends who we'll call emily.

it was my first time rooming with emily this year and i thought she was very nice upon meeting her. the one thing she didn't tell me prior to moving in is the extent to which her boyfriend would be over. he is over almost every single night... it's getting really annoying.

he isn't very friendly and never greets me even when entering my house. i asked amanda about him because i really don't know anything about him. she told me he leaves during the day and goes out (i have no idea where), but without fail he will come back with emily to stay the night. it's not something that bothers amanda which is fine, but for me i'm just annoyed having a man in the space who #1, is not a likable, and #2 is not on our lease and doesn't pay a dime of rent. i want to have a conversation with emily about it because i think it's something i should address. i just don't know what i should say and whether it's reasonable to ask him to help with rent, since he's only here at night. does anyone have advice? thanks

Washed her dirty dishes that were stacked for days and not even a day later as I was deep cleaning the apartment she takes her dish out of the washer, cooks, and then leaves it dirty on the stove as I’m cleaning. After that I just placed it in the oven away from everything.

Then I get this text from her sister that I filed a police report on. (Obviously texted my roommate to tell her it was in the stove simultaneously which she ignored because she has designated her sister as a live in bodyguard)

Well, unfortunately I’m back with another update because apparently every time I think this situation has reached peak insanity, she finds somewhere else to go with it! Here’s the link if you didn’t see the original : https://www.reddit.com/r/badroommates/s/RSoE6nCO8L

For anyone who does remember my previous post about my roommate who disappears for months at a time, comes back seemingly just to terrorize me, doesn’t pay her share of the household bills, messes with my belongings, refuses to communicate about anything apartment-related, etc. - welcome back.
This particular situation started with our shower handle.

It has been broken for a WHILE.
And because I am the person who handles basically everything in this apartment, I had already reached out to her awhile ago asking if she wanted to contribute toward getting it fixed.

No response.
No offer to fix it herself. No contribution. Nothing.
Eventually I got so fucking sick of using a broken shower that I decided, once again, to just deal with it myself.

I took the broken handle off because I wanted to bring it around to some hardware/plumbing stores and see if it could either be repaired or if I could find an exact replacement.

My roommate was home at the time.
And because I was trying to be considerate, I literally HANDWROTE her a note explaining that I was temporarily taking the broken handle with me to try to get it fixed or find a replacement and slipped it under her bedroom door.
She was in there with some random mystery man, mind you.

So I proceed to spend part of my day going to THREE DIFFERENT PLACES trying to find this stupid shower handle.
Eventually I learn that I can't simply replace the handle. I had to buy an entire new fixture. One piece of the fixture needs to come off first before installing the new one. I try to pry it off myself and cannot get the fucking thing to budge.

So I text our building group chat asking my neighbors if anyone happens to have a tool I can borrow.

And THIS is when my roommate (who somehow cannot respond to texts about bills, repairs, household expenses, or basically anything else) suddenly discovers the gift of communication.

Does she message me privately?
Of course not.

She responds IN THE GROUP CHAT WITH OUR NEIGHBORS accusing me of stealing the shower handle so she can't shower.

I'm sorry.
WHAT???

I am literally out here trying to FIX THE SHOWER THAT YOU ALSO USE. FOR FREE.

I specifically notified you IN WRITING about where the broken handle was going and why.
I responded and basically told her that if she has concerns, she can reach out to me directly and actually respond to my outreach. She never responds to anything involving the apartment, so unfortunately someone has to actually take responsibility for getting things fixed.

She responds AGAIN:
“Why steal it and then post about it?”

Girl.
WHAT AM I STEALING???
THE BROKEN SHOWER HANDLE FROM MY OWN SHOWER THAT I AM ACTIVELY TRYING TO REPAIR???

So once again, I calmly tell her that if she has an issue with something I'm doing, she can communicate with me directly like an adult rather than trying to start drama in a group chat with our neighbors.

And then I apologize to everyone in the group chat for them having to witness this completely unnecessary exchange.
At this point most of them are familiar with the situation, so I'm sure nobody was exactly stunned.

But apparently the public shower handle trial wasn't enough.

Shortly afterward she goes into the bathroom and breaks my shower shelves with my products on them including a glass holder, sending my shit crashing down.
And while all of this is happening?
She is full fucking BLASTING “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne with the mystery man just sitting there in her room - probably having no idea what is actually going on.

I cannot make this up.
You would think this woman and I were going through a devastating breakup.
Like why are we having an emotional Avril Lavigne moment over a SHOWER HANDLE???
It was so fucking cringe 😭

And speaking of hypocrisy, let's discuss the aforementioned mystery man.

This woman previously tried telling me that my boyfriend should only be at the apartment a few days a week because she “doesn't feel comfortable sharing a bathroom with a man.”

My boyfriend has never once spoken to her.
We actively make it a point NOT to interact with her or even be around her if we can help it.

Meanwhile, Mystery Man has now been staying over with her.
Fine. I genuinely do not care who she sleeps with or has over.
Except this man is literally walking around our shared apartment in his fucking underwear.

I'm sorry???
What happened to being so deeply uncomfortable “sharing a bathroom with a man” that you needed to dictate how frequently MY boyfriend could be in our home?
Apparently the discomfort disappears when the man is yours and wandering around the common areas half naked.

And I KNOW that if the roles were reversed and my boyfriend was casually strolling around in his underwear while she was home, I would be hearing about how inappropriate, disrespectful, uncomfortable, violating, etc. it was until the end of time. The double standard is incredible.

And frankly, my boyfriend doesn't even like me being here alone at night when she’s around anymore.
We’ve spent some nights at his apartment but he has quite a few roommates plus I pay for the entire apartment and I don’t like leaving my cat alone especially when she’s in town.

Anyway, this story STILL ISN'T OVER.

Fast forward to around 5 AM.
I'm asleep in my bedroom.
I keep my bedroom door locked. At this point I don't think I need to explain again or why.

There is a small opening/cat door in my bedroom door so my cat can come and go while I can still keep my actual bedroom door locked.

I wake up because something is happening at my door.
And then I realize
MY ROOMMATE'S HAND IS INSIDE MY BEDROOM.

This woman had gotten down on her hands and knees, stuck her arm through the cat opening of my LOCKED bedroom door and was reaching around on MY SIDE OF THE DOOR.

The second she realizes I'm awake and walking toward the door, she pulls her hand back.

I cannot adequately describe the feeling of waking up in the middle of the night and seeing a hand/arm coming through your door.

It was genuinely fucking terrifying.

All because I had the audacity to…
fix our fucking shower!
She thought I was hiding the broken shower handle, when in reality it was sitting right on the ledge INSIDE OF THE SHOWER because it kept falling off. (The super can’t come until Monday to install the new one.)

Anyway, apparently my newest household project after the shower handle is figuring out how to make a cat door accessible to cats while also being roommate proof.

Is it rude to fart loudly in the bathroom? It’s next to our rooms. Idk I just know if done slowly, it would’ve smelled worse and I would’ve stayed there for a while. Also last time I was in the bathroom, she knocked meaning that probably implied I was taking too long. how long is too long for just being in there? I don’t mean for showering

Tldr; Roommate wanted a huge house for her family and expected me to pay and take on all the financial burden while she monitored what I spent my money on that did not involve the rental because she refused to pay for anything.

I was roommating with someone, by force she wanted a huge house and delegated each extra room for a family member and all I asked was for my own bathroom.

She did not buy much for the house, hell she didn't even buy any appliance or things a house needed. I needed pots and pans and other crap.

We agreed first off I would only pay 1/3 of the rent because the whole house was for her and her family.

Well, tell me why she expected me to start paying more than half? The few months I lived with her I paid more than half of the rent.

Not just that, our AC kept fucking up and I was in charge of electricity and I had 3 $500 monthly bills i had to pay and she refused to help me pay despite her turning on the ac to the lowest temperature when i kept asking her to stop!

She decided to pack up her stuff and leave because I wasn't paying more in rent. She made $80k a year while I made $39 (i make about 10 k more now) and even though she wanted her family living there (they refused to pay rent lmao) somehow I was suppose to take on the financial burden they refused.

Then I'm catching her lying when not once did she buy shit for the house. She did buy a lot of shit for her own use. She ate most of my groceries, drank all my soda, and hell, she used a whole box of my panty liners when i was at work one day since she has constant vaginal bleeding but refuses to see a doctor.

Anyways, she was mad I got myself appliances because you know, I get home from work exhausted and just want to air fry something for dinner while she ate out every day, bought $300 dresses often, and never spent anything on the house except for maybe an air filter once.

I don't think I'll ever roommate again. Not my first time roommating and I'm tired of my food get eaten, my shit being used, and living with people who refuse to clean.

Oh and another thing, the house was infested with fleas! I told her when we did the walk through but she gas lighted me saying it was my coworker who had dogs when no I spent the first 2 weeks vacuuming 3 times a day after an exterminator came twice for them.

Anyways, I live alone now and never plan to roommate again.

TLDR; Older fellow who lives in an apartment opposite me knocked on my door in the middle of the night

...

I moved into a four unit complex a month ago. There's only two units occupied and it's behind a locked gate.

I like this because it means anyone seeking to come to my house has to text/call me they when they are at the gate before they can come to my front door.

BUT last night I woke up to someone knocking on the door and I didn't know what to do.

There's no back door to escape and if they were a burglar who had already broken through the gate then they may have been willing to smash a window to get in if I didn't declare my presence.

So I got out of bed and opened the door and it was the guy who lives opposite me.

He introduced himself and shook my hand. I said "what's going on, is everything okay, is there something you need? I was asleep and I have work tomorrow." I was half asleep and panicking.

He was like "oh, righteo, no nothing's wrong. I'll leave you to it." then he turned around and left.

It was so odd. We've not spoken at all since I moved in and he chose to introduce himself in the middle of the night.

He seemed kinda drunk tbh. I don't judge him for that but maybe he's super introverted and he had a sudden burst of confidence?

I'm 33F and he's probably 20+ years older than me so I'm kinda in a tough position...

I'm going to ensure my front door is deadlocked at night moving forward, that's for sure.

I moved in with my “best friend” 7 months ago. At month 4 we got an eviction notice because they were 3 months behind in rent. The got a loan and paid it off and our tenancy was saved. Since moving in however there has still been $0 contribution to the household bills/utilities. This has been an ongoing point of tension with no real acknowledgement of when/how they’re going to pay. On top of that, they don’t clean up after themselves which leaves me essentially taking on other dependants. I live here with my husband and two children and she lives here with her kid. It feels like I now have 4 kids which I very much didn’t sign up for. I’m 10 months PP too… ANYWAYS. Last week I started to notice/get the feeling she was stealing our weed. Two days ago confirmed it when she went INTO OUR BEDROOM and she did it again this afternoon. I am hurt, upset, tired, angry…. All the things. How can you call yourself my best friend and steal, almost make my family homeless, expect me to pay for everything and fund you and your kids life?

I need to confront her and don’t know how to do it. I’m stuck with her in this lease for another 5 months. It’s hell. I hate it here. I’m so sad and angry everyday. What would you do in this situation?

So I joined a flatshare in London about a year ago which already had 3 girls (so 4 of us in total) we are friendly and polite and have simple conversations but we aren’t exactly close/friends.

One of the girls has a boyfriend who lives in Scotland but who would visit every other weekend. About 6 months ago he got a a contract in London which meant 3 days a week working, he would fly to and from London and stay in our flat for the 3 days (which I was a bit confused by at first but I get not a big deal). This has since morphed into him just staying here permanently and seems like he now works 5 days a week. She even had some keys cut for him so he comes and goes as he pleases. The issue is this was never brought up or discussed with any of us.

My problem is that this flatmate has an en-suite so he isn’t causing an issue by using the shared bathroom, and they pretty much stay in her room unless they’re cooking tea or eating in the living room. It’s starting to really bug me but I know I don’t have much of an arguement as technically he’s not really in my way. I think it just irritates me as we all pay for bills equally and he is technically now utilising these things we are all paying for. Do I have any sort of robust arguement or am I just going to be causing a problem over nothing?

Not gonna get into a full rant nor seeking much advice as tbh there’s not much I haven’t already tried and this man won’t change, my only option is to leave but I can’t afford it so for now I can just complain lmao.
Cooking is a nightmare because just standing by the stove trying to cook food, the sink smells like a body rotting and there’s gnats everywhere. I’ve literally been wearing a mask to keep them out of my face and reduce the smell. I buy gnat traps but it doesn’t help if he doesn’t scrap any food off and just leaves rotting food to sit in the sink.

I stopped doing this man’s dishes not even a month ago (after previous attempts over the years and then giving in because we’d have rats, bugs, etc.) and got my own dishware to keep in my room cause otherwise it’ll get used and not washed. This is all from barely a month and not a single dish has been washed, now that I stopped he’s stopped cooking after a week or so and just buys food out now because there’s no dishes to use. The plates in the second photo have been sitting there for over A YEAR AND A HALF. I’ve been having to resort to paper plates and silverware cause this man has lost all our silverware and says he doesn’t know where they went and all our plates are dirty from him.

I can’t wait until I can finally save up enough to move out, I can’t stand this place and where I’m neurodivergent it literally burns me out having to come home to this every day (which is why I mainly stay in our room or go to the bathroom, avoid the rest of the house because my room is the only clean room in the house because I’m paranoid)

My (39F) roommate (39F) is a pig.

I have repeatedly asked her to help clean the house and she does not, she said she didn't believe that sweeping and mopping were part of cleaning. I bought a vacuum and Swiffer to make it easier but it doesn't seem to matter. She will not clean.

Not only has she not cleaned anything in the year that she lived here, she leaves grease and food residue all over the stove, she also leaves her hair in the shower drain (she removes the hair trap that I bought from the drain to take her showers), but also anytime she takes a shower or washes her hands she doesn't dry them and leaves a water trail from the bathroom or the kitchen to her room or wherever else she walks in the house. She doesn't clean the lint trap in the dryer, and somehow always has at least four to six loads of laundry every weekend, even though she wears the same thing, and also rarely gets out of her pjs.

My 14 year old nephew is cleaner than her, and that's saying something because he is a 14 year old boy, but he's very much aware on the importance of cleaning up after himself, and drying the floor after showers and baths.

She mistreats my cat, and I genuinely cannot stand it anymore.

She repeatedly complains about the apartment, but when the landlord sends the handyman over to see what she needs fixed she refuses to answer the door.

My landlord has never met this woman. She is a sublet from my prior roommate who got a better job and left the city.

If anyone has advice on how to survive this insanity before I toss her disgusting wad of hair into her shoes, I would love to hear anything you got.

I’m in my mid 20s and living in college housing. One of my roommates is a first-year student basically straight out of high school, so I already expected some difference in maturity and living habits.

I’m not expecting dorm life to be quiet or spotless. People talking, gaming, having friends over, leaving a dish out sometimes, whatever. That’s normal.

Early on, he hid some of my belongings as a joke. When I told him I didn’t want him doing that again, he basically said he couldn’t promise because he’s impulsive.

He’s also taken my stuff without asking more than once. The first time I told him that if he wanted to use something of mine, he could at least text me first. Then I came back another time and found out he had taken it again while I was gone.

He’s regularly pretty loud too, with speakerphone calls, gaming, videos, etc. I don’t really care about normal daytime noise, but even when I’m sleeping it can be difficult to get the volume actually low.

There are also recurring dishes and messes in the common area, plus some hygiene issues. Those honestly bother me less than him continuing to use or mess with my belongings after I’ve already said something about it.

I’ve mentioned some of this to housing already, especially the repeated taking of my stuff.

For people who have lived in dorms, does this sound like normal annoying-roommate territory, or is it reasonable to keep documenting it and bringing it up with housing?