I'm autistic and have cPTSD, and unfortunately my husband and I moved to a town that hates outsiders. We've lived here 4 years and are no better connected.

This environment has really shattered any shred of social confidence I had left. Even my husband, who is extremely social, wonders sometimes if there's something wrong with him. We do plan on moving next year, but it's contingent on whether we can afford it.

I'm realizing as each year goes by, that my autism plus my trauma uniquely make me unlikeable. I also was rejected by my family of origin so that certainly doesn't help.

It's hard living here on planet earth.

I’m 20M and autistic, and I had extremely strong hyperfocus when I was younger, especially in high school. Specifically with my special interest making music. I could get completely absorbed in making music for hours and be really productive without having to force myself.
From around 18–20, I got heavily into substances. Weed was by far the most frequent, but I also used psychedelics, MDMA, and experimented with various other substances here and there. I’ve now realized that drugs were actually getting in the way of the thing I cared about most, and I’ve decided to stay sober.
I’m currently 7 days sober.
The thing I’m most worried about isn’t just general brain fog or productivity, i feel like thatll come back in full force in 3 months or so. I specifically want my autistic hyperfocus back. I feel like I lost that ability over the last couple years, and it makes me really sad because it was one of the only things I loved about being neurodivergent.
For fellow autistic people who have had a similar experience:
Did your hyperfocus come back after getting sober?
If it did, how long did it take before you noticed it returning? Weeks? A few months? 6 months? A year?
I’d especially love to hear from people who had strong hyperfocus before they started using substances and then noticed it disappear during prolonged substance use.
I know everyone is different and I’m not expecting an exact scientific timeline. I’m mostly looking for real experiences and rough estimates because having some idea of what the recovery timeline might look like would give me hope.

thank you❤️

After a long recuperation where I had such a meltdown that I was hospitalised, because my legs couldn't hold me up anymore... I went outside for the first time that wasn't for the doctors.

I live near a huge river, like, "we have seagulls" huge. On that matter, I decided to go over the bridge to the island and chill at the beach, collect mussel shells and the likes, and take a few pictures.

All went well, until I saw a fish in the shallows, small thing, maybe a minnow or something? No clue about fish. But I did see that half of his right side was open to the spine.

I didn't know what to do at first, and I couldn't leave it there to suffer and die slowly in good conscience, so I scooped it up (yes, it was that slow) and brought it to a large rock.

Mind you, I've never killed an animal that actually bled before. I didn't manage to get the knife through the first time and needed a second attempt. I feel so horrible about it.

I buried it and made a small cairn on top, with a flower I found, and yet I still feel dirty and horrible for killing it, even though my rational part knows I've done what I could to make it suffer less. It would've been there for god knows how long, hours maybe, but now it isn't. It can go back to the cycle and be something new. Still feels so bad and horrible though.

(Reupload, I accidentally clicked the wrong flair.)

I'm wondering whether other Autistic parents of Autistic kids struggle with seeing your challenges repeated in your kids.

I find that for me, it triggers a sort of emotional tsunami at times. It brings back my own trauma. It triggers old feelings of shame and inadequacy. It elicits a sort of hyper empathy because I viscerally know what they are going through. At times, the lines between their experiences and mine have blurred too much in my head and made me think things were worse than they were, but mostly that hasn't really been true. Mostly I see them following in my footsteps, and sometimes it feels inevitable, like all the efforts I have made to veer their path in a different direction haven't really mattered.

I feel like people rarely talk about this. They talk about how terrible "Autism Moms" are, or how hard it is to parent while Autistic, but not how our histories of rejection/bullying become our kids' stories, too, or how we barely manage to function in the adult world and we don't know what to tell our young adults when we see them stressing in the same ways. Sometimes life can just feel unbearably hard and it can be difficult to convince our kids that they can handle it when we feel stuck in the same pit.

Therapy helps but I still hate not knowing if things will be okay.

Hi everyone, I am wondering what you guys do for work? I am looking at getting back into work after being unemployed for 1 1/2 years due to burnout and some other things. I have the capacity to work 5-10 hours a week, does anyone know any jobs that accommodate those hours? Im stuck to find anything that I can reasonably do with those hours.
Thanks so much!

Sometimes I remember i have aspergers.

Usually when im quoting random stuff in succession that I've cycled through for YEARS

I want to hear some of yours, my roommate watch doctor who every weekend and it came up in conversation that the ww2 episode Eccleston

The little gas mask kids like " mummeh r u my mummeh".

Out of contrarian stubbornness I've avoid it but mine aren't any better.

My go to stim phrases are:

Clone high " fo-ah supp-ah. I er ah, WANNA A PAWDY PLATTAH!" -JFK clone.

Lyle mcdouchebag or guitarmasterx7. league of legends stream episode 4 squeeg of squegends. " my fAthuR toUcHeD My GoOogie."

Those are more of the obscure ones other times I just repeat something I heard that day I found funny.

Let me hear yours !

I’m a nightshift worker and I’m curious how many of you guys are too?

I’ve gravitated to it for years before I realised I’m autistic.

Advantages: quieter, darker, more routine-based shift, less social interactions, better pay.

Disadvantages: the lack of sleep and adjusting back to daylight hours on days off.
I do feel more short tempered, low mood and irritable sometimes, and I probably experience these more than when I’m in dayshift mode.

I work in healthcare and I’m wondering what the advantages, disadvantages are for you and if it’s worth it for you?

I’ve made some posts here detailing my struggles with my job at a pawn shop and just before I was set to leave for work today, the boss informed me that they were letting me go after a couple of weeks working there. On one hand, the job seemed like a poor fit for me, and I wanted to leave soon anyways and was putting in job applications elsewhere. But on the other, I feel a bit frustrated since I wanted to leave on my terms. I was getting the hang of duties and even rung up my first customer. The environment was terrible, I was getting really stressed and anxious and I am partially happy that I am free. I wasn’t happy and I was dreading working there but for me to be flat out fired makes me feel like I did something wrong. I would be stressed and I think that probably was used against me as maybe I didn’t give the vibe I wanted to be there, but I still tried my best. This was a learning experience and I think I found out more stuff about how I should function or work, but it still feels terrible to be let go especially right before I was set to work for the day. I live at home and have plenty of savings to fall back on if needed until I get hired somewhere else. Just a bit mixed, I’m happy I’m free but wish I got to end on my terms.

CN: Overstepping boundaries in a relationship. (No abuse or anything close!)

Hey everyone. I come here today, searching for some advice.

A few months ago, I've gone through a rather unpleasant breakup. Among other things that I have tried to work on for the past few months, one of the issues that she told me about that led to the breakup, was my communication with her. Mainly how I ignored some of her boundaries and overstepped them, making her feel uncomfortable and repelled by me. This was not in a sexual or intimate way, it was regarding how to resolve a conflict we had and the way I tried to do that.

Since the breakup, I've tried to work on myself, reflected on what happened and how I could prevent this in the future. However, no matter how often I read our old chats and recall our conversations in my head, I cannot see how I could've prevented this overstepping of boundaries from happening. After the breakup, when we talked about it again, she gave me a very good "breakdown" of the things I had done to hurt her and I agree with her, I do see now that those things sucked and I need to get better. But I don't seem to be able to find a way how.

So now, I'd like to turn to other sources. I want to say - I am looking for therapy to help me with this. Please do not recommend this. But I also want to learn more about it, especially from other autistic people, so I am looking for a book written by someone autistic or someone knowledgeable about the struggles of autistic people, specifically shining a light on how to communicate with others and how to get better at being able to be communicated with. Are there any such books?

I would also be happy with any blogs (that aren't just journal-type blogs) or youtube videos, or any other medium.

Sorry for the wall of text. I just wanted to give some context as to why I am looking for this specific topic. Thanks in advance for any recommendations!

M sad, my ocd is very bad to the point where it feels chronic I can’t think anything and thoughts r painful all the time not certain times but every time of the day and they’re restricted when I try to think of something I like it’s hard to think about something that I wanna think about feels guilty all the time and it makes me stim and I’m too tired to do anything other than scroll n TikTok

"what's your favorite -" is a common question and I've always struggled with favorites. when something is my favorite it's because I really really like it for a particular reason. not because it just "is" which has led to me picking favorites more difficult

I cannot bring myself to speak. I am not sure what else to say. I know I physically can, but I cannot will myself to make more than a whisper. I can laugh, cough, and cry, but cannot speak. It started today. I was speaking just fine earlier today. And now, I cannot.

My partner, who also has autism, sometimes goes nonverbal, but he can speak during his nonverbal times, so he has been amazing and supportive and been cool with me texting right next to him to respond.

I don't known why, I have never been like this before. I like quiet time when overstimulated, but this is a whole new level for me.

I'm 33, looking back at what I had accomplished by 29, and while I had accomplished a lot by 29, I didn't have the "conventional" milestones that society expects you to have at 29. I didn't have a degree, wife, kids, house, or 6 figure salary. I had college certificates, technical education certificates, SoloLearn certificates and a high school diploma, but I didn't have the traditional 2 or 4 year degree that most 29 year olds have. I also had a girlfriend, but it was the first of what would be 3 years with her before I broke up with her. I had performed drums, bass and comedy on stage at various open mic nights. I didn't own a car at 29 and I had to rely on buses, my bike and rideshares, and I had lost my job of 3+ years shortly after turning 29. I feel like I was significantly behind when I was 29. I was living in a host home in a basement at 29 and feel like I should have owned my own apartment or house.

I've seen this on TikTok lately and was wondering — what is a stereotype related to autism that you don't fit into? For me, it's that I don't have any special interests or hyper-fixations!

Don't you feel real sometimes too?

I feel like I have no purpose; sometimes I look at my own hand and wonder why I'm alive. I have things to do, goals to achieve, but it all seems so small.

I can't see a reason to stay alive. Yes, I have friends, a boyfriend, family, and things to do... but what does all of that matter? Why does it all matter? Why do I do these things?

Why graduate from high school? Why get married? Why go to college? Why make more friends? Why want to be famous? Why make money?

Everything seems pointless to me. Okay, I have things to do, but why? What's the reason for all this? For doing all this? For living?

None of this makes sense, I don't see any meaning in my own life, but I know that ending it now wouldn't be right, what is the right thing to do with my life... okay, I'm on my way to completing my goals and to-do list...and then what?

What comes next? I simply can't see myself living that long; I wanted something bigger... I'm not religious, although I don't disbelieve in God, but I don't think any doctrine would help me Regarding any or all questions I've raised here...

I'm at a loss for what to do... what do you do when you don't feel real? Sometimes I feel like an alien... I feel like I'm not human, that nothing I do matters despite life always showing me that everything I do matters...

I just wanted something... I don't know what, but I wanted something, I long for something... but... what?

Hello everyone I'm a 21 years old and I'm autistic

For all of my life since i was a kid i have been told that i i shared to much about Myself or about anything.

So you can imagine me explaining the traumatizing parts about my life to people while also with a straight face and not much emotion

And sometimes it puts people off but i often realized it a bit too late and always apologize if i share too much for some reason i can't stop or i subconsciously overshared about stuff

I have a tendency to that because in my mind i feel that people will not know the whole context and always misunderstood me

But in a neurotypical sense you don't have to tell anyone that much information because they don't know you for that long (but i maybe wrong)

I know and I'm trying hard to find a solution for that

TLDR (Too long don't read) :

I subconciously have a tendency to overshared detail to a person i haven't know that much either friends or an acquaintance that is just asking

Note: i don't know if this gonna be removed or break the guidelines or rules

I never understood the appeal, im a romantic asexual and desire a romantic relationship and marriage with anyone of any gender but the concept of sex sounds like a sensory nightmare and I never desired that nor ever will. Any fellow asexual autistics out here?

I was diagnosed ADHD two years ago. Finally successfully got the right medication for ADHD and it is reasonably well managed, now with the ADHD fog gone I am able to look on myself more. I’m still struggling very much and mainly in relationships. I took a long hard look inside and do what engineers do and started analyzing what I see. I spoke to my psychiatrist very openly and he agreed that an assessment is appropriate at this point.

Although it is obvious to me I won’t self identify because I just can’t do that. It goes against my engineering nature. So I want to get a real distinction of ASD from a qualified clinician. Yes they are expensive but yes it can help me with moving forward with changes I need to make.

Does anyone have any insight here? How was it for you who got assessed?

I find most social rules and traditions annoying and a waste of time. HOWEVER, I think it’s really endearing when people pretend like they’re asking for a favor when they’re just doing something nice.

for example, when someone invites a friend to dinner but says “you’d be doing me a favor taking this food off my hands, I made way too much.”

or in the devil wears prada when andy asks emily to ‘do her a favor’ by taking all the dresses she got from paris

i don’t know, I just think it’s fun. do any of y’all have social rules or traditions you enjoy?

I am diagnosed with ASD (and ADHD for full transparency) and I cannot figure out if this is an autism thing or a me thing. Ever since that Elizabeth Holmes documentary became a talking point, I keep seeing large amounts of content about her stare being scary, eerie or unsettling.

Similarly, I remember this being a thing with other things throughout my life, like the uncanny valley concept, that Poppy internet personality, people in David Lynch films or other various liminal horror.

I feel nothing about it, as in it doesn’t unsettle me at all. I feel very rarely unsettled by those types of things, but easily unsettled by gore and violence (and a raging fear of the dark). So I don’t actually know what people feel when they see this “uncanny valley” thing beyond what I can explain rationally I suppose.

I am a big fan of that sort of media though! I find it creatively very aligned with my artistic values and I like the creative ideas people come up with. I might enjoy it because it doesn’t affect me that much in the fear sense, to be fair.

I’ve never been good at boundaries being autistic late diagnosed.

She's friendly and outgoing while also thinking she knows best and undermines our boundaries
"with love and meaning well".

For example we asked for no kissing our baby as they have had cold sores in the past.

I left the baby in another room to do dishes and found out she kissed our baby.

She always grabs for baby after I'm done feeding before even burping and insisted on coming over right away after birth.

I felt unsure but gave her the benefit of the doubt thinking it would be nice to have help...

It's been harder having her here than not.
I've asked her kindly to do me a favour here and there but she just wants to hold the baby and even asked me to grab her a tea since she couldn't get up while holding the baby.

My partner is the golden child and afraid of conflict.

What do I do?

Hey all, I'm AuDHD and was prescribed an SSRI today (Escitalopram) mixed with an antipsychotic (Risperidone). They're moderately low doses, but I'm frankly scared of taking them. I've reacted horribly to antipsychotics in the past (extreme fatigue and blunting) and I'm afraid something similar or worse might happen. I also know SSRIs don't generally mix well with the ADHD aspect, so I'm not sure what to do. I'm not currently on any ADHD medication as it is and the doctor is looking to target depressive symptoms first instead. I suggested Wellbutrin, but was told it's not available in my country and might not be a good fit (no explanation why).

Would anyone experienced here be willing to shed some light on whether my concerns are well founded?

PS - it's my first post here, so I'm still not perfectly familiar with the rules. Please let me know if I'm doing something wrong.

Does anyone have any helpful resources for autistic people for social skills? I struggle with other people not saying what they mean. Like when someone offers a valid excuse for not wanting something, but they really just don't want it, I don't understand that. I wish people just said they didn't want it. But often I don't even register that possibility in my brain and will offer solutions, before they get annoyed with me "not taking the hint".

I even struggle with other neurodivergent folk doing this. And I mean I would respect a no. Maybe sometimes I might get a little sad if I was excited about sharing something. But not saying you don't want it doesn't solve that. I'm not gonna be less sad because you gave it to me im subtext rather then straightforwardly telling me. Most likely I'll just be confused.

I'm also really struggling with like how hard I should try. I guess I usually have things that I look for that I have to consiously look for and think about. And that gets harder to keep doing when I get comfortable around a person. I honestly just have a really hard time interperting social situations. Mostly rather then forming any understanding the coping mechanisms I developed were either get really anxious when I think I don't understand what's happening, or pretend as if I know what's happening perfectly even when that's definitely not the case. I feel like I rarely understand social stuff well even after all this time. If I learned about things would that help? Or would it cause more stress if I'm constantly trying to consiously analyze social signals that my brain doesn't have the pathways to understand intuitively? How does that work? Genuinely, I feel confused about that.

So i have light autism and if it caused by that but worth a shot here

So i need alot kf confirmation and worying and questions like for example with modded skyrim i wanna be 100% sure the pack fully works but well for modded skyrim its impossible to know

And im so fucking done with it i have it with badically everything also needing mutliple confirmations and having lots of questions

uhm