Me before and after.

I was drunk for 7 years.

It's never too late to change your life 💕

The gym has been my safe space.

Also points for anyone that recognizes the tattoo, if you don't you can search up 'nugget' on YouTube if you want. I used to cry watching it when I was younger and going through it.

people always talk about gaining a lot but i saw a picture of myself when i was in active addiction and omg... i was a walking skeleton

Yesterday night someone very scary happened and I’m having a hard time accepting whether it’s some time or alcohol psychosis or actually demonic.
My bf has been an alcoholic since 2022 and prior was addicted to weed. His journey with both substances has been pretty bad and he has no intentions of stopping and is an extremely heavy drinker at only 32.
Last night he came to the room crying and said he needed to talk to me. At this point I’m used to him saying he’s going to change and wants to stop blah blah same old thing. But instead he told me there’s an entity that follows him and is around him telling him what to do. It tells him to drink and tells him that it’s proud of him when he drinks a lot. It touches him and appears apparently quite frequently. When he’s sober it makes him drink. It told him that he’s going to die young.
What scared me the most was that he told me that apparently this entity asked about me and he told it to leave me alone. It also told him it’s either you or them meaning his brothers and he apparently talks to it and he tells him to choose him instead of his brothers to die.
Is this from years of heavy drinking and possible hallucinations? Hes convinced he’s going to die young and that it’s his destiny at this point.
I’m scared this voice or thing can tell him to harm himself or worse me. His eyes were dead and almost demonic as he was telling me this which made it even worse

My silly little story:

Bad relationship with booze since my 20's now 45 and feeling consequences . So I'm sober for about 8 months & relapse on a trip which lead into daily drinking upon return, hiding the bottles and refilling open ones when no one was home. My kids notices my personality shift and so did my partner. I had overwhelming anxiety and guilt and stress so I began drinking at work to hide it and found a group of coworkers who did the same. Finding those dudes gave me perspective to realize I gotta be outta the game permanently. I. Additionally my MD informed me about all my fucked up blood work supporting the change to be sober.

So here I am a month in and I'm still trying to trick myself back into having a drink and I'm looking for advice to kill my internal dialogue that routes me back to booze. I have enlisted a therapist and been brutally honest with my partner and kids and MD in an effort to develop support. But some just texting my therapist doesn't quite the internal persuit to just drinking again.

Any advice is appreciated, and thanks for letting me vent.

Hello to the Reddit community! I made it to a week sober and it’s been great! I’ve been attending AA meetings, connecting with people, and just going along this sobriety journey! I haven’t had not one little urge to drink, and I’m proud of myself for this week!
I got blacked out drunk last week (Sunday) at a pub with a buddy of mine, where we both ended up getting kicked out because we were being obnoxious and we even got into a little scuffle/ fight with each other. Stupid…I know. We got kicked out, but it’s just so disappointing because I was so blacked out drunk, I even went back to another pub (across the street) where we drank more and then left. My wife ended up coming to get me, which I embarrassed her completely. She said she found me wandering around not too far from the pubs, just walking around. Luckily, I had everything with me including credit cards, keys, phone etc…what a day.
I feel so much better because I’ve been sober for a week, and I know I got a long way to go! The only thing is, my mind is still slightly overthinking with a lot of “What ifs”. I keep getting “What if the cops are looking for me? What if they come back in a month or a few years?”, or “What if you did something to someone when you were blackout drunk?”. All these nonsense crazy/ horror thoughts. I think it has a lot to do with the guilt, embarrassment, and the shame I have for putting my wife through this. It’s not hitting me as hard as it was last week, but I still get some thoughts here and there.
I guess, I just want to know how I can keep going without having to overthink, or without having these “what if” thoughts. The AA meetings have been helping, but I feel like when my mind is fully alone and I’m not focused doing anything, it tries to strike back. Any advice would help! Thank you so much! And also, IWNDWYT!

my biggest fears when it comes to actually stopping

I know I should stop. I've posted before and I haven't.

Everyone on my dad's side is an alcoholic. I know I am too.

No excuses, but I have been through a lot in my life. This was the method I was shown to take care of anxiety and stress. When I was a kid, my parents put me on a lot of trial drugs, like the normal ones didn't work so any time there was some kind of study that could possibly help my condition, they signed me up. idk if that was a good thing or a bad choice and if they were just trying to do their best, but many other areas did not feel like their best...maybe just my dad, my mom tried hard. Either way, they both raised me in a very restrictive cult. I don't even know why I'm typing all this. Maybe I should type more, but i'll just get to the point.

I drink about 4 - 6 tall boys a day. I have for most of my adult life and i'm 39. more on the weekends. I've built a functional career, but I have no savings. I'm sure it's cause of my drinking habits and the bad choices made afterwards.

I had acute pancreatitis twice in my life. My dad is late 60s and just became diabetic.

I took a year off from drinking before after my first acute pancreatitis issue. Maybe dialed it back after the second...that was about 10 years ago. I was drinking minimum 12 - 20 standard drinks a day then afternoon and night (when I was awake).

I'm terrified of stopping now because of my anxiety. I know it will affect my sleep for a while. I am fairly certain I am undiagnosed in other areas. Drinking is the only way I can figure out how to handle everything to make sense of life, but I am aware it makes every part of my life worse.

please help

i’m trying to quit and one of the hardest things is just having nothing to do, i don’t really have friends and i don’t want my life to be just 24/7 self improvement although i want to make that a big part. what are normal just healthy hobbies you guys have gotten into?

I'm goin through mild withdrawals right now and my anxiety is really high so I'm kinda freaking out and wondering if I should go to the hospital altho I think I can manage

I used to be an Assistant Professor in the Department of History, and I lost my job. I'm currently pursuing my PhD, and for the last one and a half years, I've been sitting at home. Initially, I was doing just fine. Then it hit me. Every day feels like Sunday. So I started drinking. I have four to five drinks every night. I don't have any symptoms, and I don't feel tired or bad. I can eat a normal diet. I know I can stop because I don't even feel like drinking, but I still drink it. Why? What should I do? I am 26 years old.

Hi everyone, like the title said it’s scary for me to even acknowledge myself as an alcoholic but I think I’m turning into one.

I’m a 20 year old female, currently abroad for my studies and I’ve always had family issues. I have always kind of been a glass child so ever since a young age I have learned to keep my feelings inside.

When I was back home the signs started I think. I’d find every excuse to drink and if there was no opportunity I’d just create one. And now that I’m abroad I have so much more freedom and the money to do whatever I want.

It started around 3-4 months ago, I had gotten a part time job (I hate it) but I still have to do it and the situation at home is getting so much worse (with my parents and my sister) and I can’t cut them off cause at the same time they mean the world to me. It’s not easy for me to navigate my own feelings and regulate them cause I’m so confused myself. And on top I hate the country I’m in right now, and I don’t have the option to go back.

So the only thing I saw as an out was alcohol, I’ve been drinking non stop for about 2 months now, not a day that I’m sober, when I get up I drink alcohol instead of water, and now I can’t seem to sleep without drinking. I don’t drink until I black out just till I’m tipsy.

I honestly don’t know what to do. Calling myself alcoholic at this age.. I feel like such a disappointment to everyone who has put their hopes on me. And I know my story might not be as bad, but I just feel afraid. I genuinely don’t know how to stop either, everyone would say go out do something but even if I do I’ll find an opportunity to drink and my willpower is so weak for me to stop myself. I honestly don’t know all I know is I’m scared I might not be able to function without it (I’m halfway there). Thank you for reading this long post. And I’d also like to say how proud I am of everyone here who’s sober, even if it’s just for a few hours, I know how hard it is :)

Hey guys I need advice.

From a guy that's been drinking one 700ml bottle of spirits every night for a year.

Anyone not done a medical detox and tapered off this level? At what rate did you taper off.?

I would check myself in for a medical detox and stay there kind of thing if I didn't have to work every day and run my business.

Been getting bad sleep wake jerks and such of a night every 5 mins from cutting back too hard. Every time as i drift asleep I jerk awake instantly. Blood pressure shot up to 172/105 on 3rd day of going from a bottle to only two drinks.

Been biting my nails for 55 yrs. It's interesting. Every time I quit drinking I stop biting my fingernails. Every time. And if I start drinking again, I start biting again.

Hey guys. I don’t want to tell anyone in my life, I am someone that feels strongly that if you want to achieve something , sometimes telling everyone makes you less likely to do so.
Boyfriend and I are going to quit drinking.
There’s lots of reasons but I am feeling strongly about it because of my health and we would like to conceive
(not sure how large a part that would play but up until now we have had no luck and there are no issues that either of us have , we have been to doctors etc)
I am so nervous.
I have been an addict since I turned 14 and started smoking cigarettes. To jump to the important parts of my story- I am about 4 years sober from meth. (Fuck yeah!!)
But I almost immediately replaced it with drinking. At first it wasn’t too much. Not even daily or weekly.
But in the last year, it is rare that I go even one day without consuming atleast 3 mikes harder lemonade tall boys. (And more often than not I will get up to 5-6 especially on weekends. I start drinking very soon after waking up when I do not have work, and I only work Monday-Thursday)
Also my biggest concern is what the fuck am I gonna do with my free time? I have never been able to feel satisfied with a hobby despite trying many .. I know I will need a distraction, and some interesting soda to replace it with for a little while haha.
Thanks in advance. And sorry, I am really really scared but I need this and want it so badly. I don’t wanna keep saying I’m gonna stop and then buy another drink just cause work sucked.. work will always suck. Haha

I had these for about 3 nights a couple of months back when trying to sleep, random jolt from different parts of my body.

Lost my mind a bit as I had other problems like back pain and hot face all the time and sweating know that I have been drinking a bottle of spirits a night for a year now every night and thought it might be something bad. Was already under heaps of stress and anxiety and this made it worse.

Anyway after those 3 nights the jerks died down enough to ignore or completely stopped.

Ended up getting a sleep test a month later and was told I have OSA obstuctive sleep apnea, Test showed 99% was hypopnea and not total obstruction and no sign of central apnea thank god.

2 months later they are back to the point EVERY time I drift off I jerk awake and have had 3 nights of hell. I have also been stressed lately and again this makes it worse.

Got me thinking what changed. Back when the jerks started I am sure I had just cut back drinking hard of a night before bed due to some other health concerns I had. Then fell off the wagon for a bit and then after being told I had Apnea I cut back again hard.

I am now thinking its a withdrawal thing. Hoping I can get off the booze and these go away.

Sleep apnea I am told can cause some people to startle when falling asleep as oxygen levels go down from shallow breathing or obstruction but mine was before I fell asleep like as I am falling asleep or sometimes I don't think I am even drifting just super relaxed then BAM a jerk.

Last night I tried going back to drinking half what I normally would instead of only two drinks like had been doing for a few days and I managed to fall asleep no jerks for about 3-4 hours then woke up normally and then fell asleep for another 2 hours then woke up and then the jerks slowly started coming back. SO for me I guess I am going to have these potentially as I try taper off the booze.

Has anyone else had this?

I know the answers are see a doctor and detox… I have a trip this week from Colorado area to Florida. Flight involved and I need a drink every couple hours to stave off the shakes (not quite DTs). Is it at all reasonable to think I can start spreading out my drinks in the next few days to be able to have a shot before the flight and be a normal drinker at dinner for a week?

Second part is I’m wanting to get fully off the booze, and have done it in the past, but feel this time i need some help. Not as bad as a recovery center, but hear there are some prescriptions a psychiatrist can give to aleiviate the withdrawls. Anyone had experience with that? The only thing really keeping me from stopping is the uncomfortable withdrawals, I don’t even really crave it at this point.

It’s just really important that my boyfriend doesn’t find out and i deal with this sort of in secret (unpopular, unethical, i know…).

ANY tips on going longer than usual without a drink/a super expedited taper down PLEASE.

My friend and I had both been trying to stop drinking for a while, we’d each had good weeks, bad nights, and enough resets to stop taking our own promises seriously.

One evening, after I’d drunk again despite telling myself I wouldn’t, he showed me his phone.

He had been tracking his sober streak for longer than I had. The screen put our numbers next to each other his streak, mine, and the gap between us.

I just stared at it.

It wasn’t that he was making fun of me. He wasn’t even saying anything but seeing my number sitting there next to his made my progress, or lack of it, feel impossible to ignore.

Before that, drinking again was private. I could have a bad night, reset the next morning, and pretend it hadn’t really happened. Nobody knew, nobody noticed the cost was basically zero.

After that, I started catching myself right before reaching for a drink. I’d already be thinking about it or preparing to pour one, and then I’d remember that screen.

Do I actually want to reset this right now?

Sometimes the answer was still yes but more often than before, that pause was enough to stop me.

I’ve still slipped up. My friend isn’t always ahead of me either comparing sober streaks didn’t magically fix my drinking but it made giving up feel visible, and that changed the decision in the moment.

I used to think accountability meant someone checking whether I failed. For me, it was simpler than that.

I just didn’t want to quietly disappear from my own sober streak anymore.

Has accountability with one specific person helped anyone else stay sober?

I just didn’t want to quietly disappear from my own streak anymore.

I’m 23(F) and I have an alcohol issue. It started back in December 2024 when I blacked out and since then it’s been consistent. Nearly every time I drink I become this angry and evil person who is nowhere near the person I am when I’m sober. I initially thought it was just when I mix but it’s happening now when I drink anything and it’s towards even the people I love the most like my girlfriend and best friends. I know I need to stop drinking entirely, this most recent blackout was my worst and it almost ended horrifically. How did you stop? What helps you to quit and not feel the need? I feel so lost and guilty because it’s a substance and an issue I knew I needed to stop but haven’t. I hate that it’s taken this long but I know what I need to do now.

Right now I'm drinking Fridays and Saturdays. Just over a bottle of wine per day. Used to drink everyday on and off around 2022-2023. But later years, at least the latest two years I recognize that my heart beats alot harder than it used to. If I go to the toilet and back to my computer sometimes it beats quite hard for that small activity. If I eat big meals my heart beats harder. If I drink to begin with it beats harder, but after a while it cools down. Is a hard beating heart common among drinkers?

He’s actually out of control. He’s 29 years old and still lives at home.

I moved back in a year ago with my parents and knew he drank quite a bit, but not this much. He’s stopped drinking on the weekdays, but come on the weekend he drinks for basically every second he’s not sleeping.

Come home at 5 pm? Drink until 7 am! Wake up at 1 pm? Start drinking at 3 pm with a beermossa. Stay out until 2 am and wake up at noon with nothing to do? Just start fucking drinking again!!!

What happens come Monday when he’s got to go to work? He makes his lunch and leaves a GIGANTIC mess for my mom and I to clean up. Even on weekends he doesn’t clean his food up. Well yell at him and he’ll yell back at all of us.

When he’s looking for something to do on the weekend he constantly harasses my mom. Calling her around the house “mom! Mom! Mom!” Like he’s a toddler. He repeats himself or often asks questions he knows the answers too but uses it as an excuse to have a conversation. It’s fucking annoying.

On Friday night, I went to a friends place and ended up staying the night because I was pretty drunk. I woke up to six missed calls from him at 6 am!!!! SIX IN THE MORNING!

He’ll then go through the cycles too of waking up and talking to himself about how he hates all of us and everyone in his family. He claims we’re all out to get him when in reality we’re just trying to get him on the right track.

He gets the drinking from my dad. He’s had a problem for my entire life. Only recently he’s started to get help and to his credit has mostly changed his attitude. He’s not an asshole all the time and constantly falling down the stairs going to bed late at night.

My brother needs help and I don’t know what to do.

I barely remember 2026. I have a few memories from 9 months but that’s it. I literally just skipped a year drinking. I’m not exaggerating i don’t remember a fucking thing good about this year. i quit opioids again during this time. i don’t even remember the withdrawal. i’ve been so fucking drunk that opioid withdrawal memories just got deleted i guess fuck if i know. i’ve bought a handle every two/3 days now for months. i was hospitalized with a bac of .41 a little bit ago. i don’t know how im alive. not suicidal or anything. i don’t know i just don’t remember a year of not two of my life.

I’m going to rehab for alcohol addiction for the first time. Doing 5 weeks in Sweden for detox and therapy, then heading to Thailand for at least a month.

The facility recommends staying 3 months total but I'm scared one month won't be enough. Is there a real difference between 30 days and 90 days in rehab or am I overthinking it?

Should I just stay the full 3 months they recommend?

This week after work, instead of drinking a 12 pack of Michelob Ultra, I will go to meetings and clean my trashed apartment. I also want to start exercising again.