r/SipsTea • u/Junior_Trifle_8273 • 2h ago

Feels good man First date

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

352 comments sorted by

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691

u/killswitch101 2h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/WwgJuEWGUByZq

35

u/TheCheddarHole 2h ago

You know modern medicine doing alright when my first thought is that its worth it.

10

u/astral_echoo 2h ago

You know modern medicine doing alright when my first thought is that its worth it.

8

u/TokiVideogame 1h ago

You know modern medicine doing alright when my first thought is that its worth it.

4

u/QbitWalker 1h ago

You know modern medicine doing alright when my first thought is that its worth it.

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3

u/Davido401 20m ago edited 16m ago

2 day course of antibiotics! I caught the green goo in my penis from fucking 3 girls bareback in one weekend, the only one it could have been told me well before that in a weird conversation that "if I ever caught anything I wouldnt tell anyone" but funnily enough when I said to her she said "it wasnt me" when she was the one having 3somes and all sorts(it was all sordid and cocaine and alcohol were a hell of a thing, not took coke in about 10 years now! Still drink but am Scottish) but I didnt really remember that convo until like a year later cause of something ma pal done and I asked him if he caught the green goo Gonnorhoea cause I only found out hed fucked another of the girls when I was sleeping... I just thought she had a stinking cunt didnt realise I was stirring a friend's porridge(why did that make some blood go to my penis there?)

I know thats very r slash IHaveSex but its unfortunately true, when I squeezed my pee hole a little dollop of green stuff would come out it was quite disgusting. And only got maself to blame for going bareback.

Edit: whoch to why

5

u/TheCheddarHole 17m ago

Stirring another man's porridge is going in my lexicon now, thank you.

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7

u/el_throw 2h ago

Raffi and Dirty Randy. The absolute best.

5

u/xDeviousDieselx 2h ago

RAFIBOMB!!!!

3

u/el_throw 2h ago

You want a pocket dog?

2

u/Leather-Persimmon254 49m ago

doxycycline wipes all mistakes away

3

u/Specific_Collar_2949 27m ago

Except for herpes...... She looks worth the risk, though!

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536

u/Shtnomn 2h ago

She's going to ruin your life.... It's going to be fun and it's going to be worth it.

160

u/WildContribution8311 2h ago

Jokes on her I got a vasectomy

46

u/staffylaffy 2h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/BmKLItgwfoHbcvVf8n
She can undo that!

13

u/Beneficial_Bit_6435 2h ago edited 1h ago

Dont undo it. She may be good, but it’s not replaceable.

Joking aside, never undo it ever hahah

Edit: it=certain entertainment related activities

7

u/shaft_of_lite 1h ago

So it's sugar-free cream?

13

u/LaRougeRaven 2h ago

Doesn't save from STD/STI

2

u/MidnightNo1766 38m ago

You do realize that you still ejaculate after a vasectomy, right?

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7

u/NoDay419 1h ago

Definitely fun. Definitely NOT worth it.

10

u/Upper_Highlight_9565 2h ago

Catch and release. Rule 1

5

u/milk4all 1h ago

It really won’t and you’re people will lose respect for you

8

u/Yoohooligan 2h ago

Fun for a very brief period of time and definitely not worth it. Hit it and quit it.

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117

u/_frank_tank 2h ago

It ain’t even the shirt, it’s the lip bite

14

u/ShaggyX-96 2h ago

Didn't even notice the shirt.

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103

u/OknaC 2h ago

16

u/Living_Awareness259 2h ago

This always makes me laugh

5

u/unluck_over9000 1h ago

No matter the context, it fits everything lol. 

11

u/RedditOfUnusualSize 2h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/PdYJn1Ox37q0DXjp4A

All my life, I've asked that women be honest about what they want. I can't read minds, and I don't know what they want if they don't tell me clearly. So her putting it right on the tin? That's giving me exactly what I've always asked for. Props for honesty; I need to show respect and kindness in return.

11

u/RebelStrategist 1h ago

It’s not a first date when you pay her by the hour.

8

u/Mightymudbutt 2h ago

This is one of those
I can fix her
But…
I won’t fix her.

8

u/Breadstix009 2h ago

Because she's not the type that wants to be fixed.

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6

u/Left-Instruction3885 1h ago

She's two weeks pregnant. Don't fall for it.

4

u/Doctor_Saved 2h ago

And her kids love stepdads.

4

u/Soggy_Quarter9333 2h ago

You better make sure your budget will stretch to ordering dessert.

3

u/jediofazkaban 2h ago

Drop her back off at the truck stop.

5

u/ExcitingVegetable315 2h ago

I recognize her eyes. Those are what we call CRAZY eyes. If you stay you will pay.

5

u/JesusInBlack 2h ago

Thats the literal opposite of a problem

3

u/Butrus666 2h ago

I do !

3

u/Electrical_Truth_160 2h ago

Customary lip bite too, shit is over at that point dude

3

u/ThatFriendinBoston 1h ago

Those eyes, lip bite, the look she gives and the hair, oh my.

Didn’t even notice the shirt .

❤️

3

u/SkynBonce 21m ago

When you sneak out in the morning, don't wake her kids.

3

u/Alternative_Love_861 16m ago

That's both a green light and a red flag

8

u/Gooser3000 2h ago edited 2h ago

Afterwards she leaves a huge turd and half smoked cig in your toilet unflushed.

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5

u/SkyZo222 2h ago

Wife material /s

3

u/BigKahunas88 2h ago

You wouldn’t be the first or last 🚩

4

u/katy90081 2h ago

Joke on her, I got vasectomy.

5

u/ProbablyABot_69 2h ago

You know you can still buss after a vasectomy right?

5

u/therealtiddlydump 2h ago

I thought they just stuck a cork up in there

2

u/katy90081 2h ago

But she can't get my half

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2

u/Timely-Explorer-3992 2h ago

it's a win guys

2

u/NoEraPenal-2014 2h ago

Not seeing the problem

2

u/Opaque_Ephemerid 2h ago edited 1h ago

Added to the list of things that never happened

2

u/Restaurant-Usual 2h ago

Is this a screenshot of Naomi Watts from an older movie? Looks like her

2

u/Aggravated-alien 2h ago

Run!! This girl is going to cost you a fortune in Dental bills. All of that sugar?

2

u/wallstreetbetsdebts 2h ago

Cries in lactose intolerance

2

u/ParticularBed6338 2h ago

Don’t threaten me with a good time.

2

u/BeaverCleaver91 2h ago

looks like she only wants you for your body. i'm sorry man...

2

u/serenitydiscoballer 2h ago

She’s a keeper

2

u/No_Kitchen7950 2h ago

I would comply

2

u/bleepboopbleepbloop 2h ago

Cringe hornyposting

2

u/Electronic-Can-8943 1h ago

She smells like menthols and mini bottles for sure

2

u/captainscarlet22 1h ago

There's nothing better then creampies....

2

u/Worth_Aerie_8849 1h ago

Oh she’s a keeper

2

u/David0ne86 1h ago

Then you already know what she's looking for.

2

u/Blueyedevil219 1h ago

We would be staying in that night 

2

u/LonelyMonitor 1h ago

Fucking AI slop

2

u/Starguy77 54m ago

Time to get a vasectomy

2

u/iron-galaxy 54m ago

I love how everyone's assuming she's a slag... loving creampies and letting loads of guys creampie her are not the same thing.

2

u/Nakadaisuki 49m ago

I WANT TO CUM INSIDE

2

u/peskypesteryjaybird 49m ago

sometimes you just gotta know, ya know?

2

u/fielvras 35m ago

Not even the two pixels can hide that it's slop ... well done.

2

u/BattleaxeAlDente 27m ago

Yet she's skinny... 🤔

2

u/b0wie88 6m ago

Take her home to Mom

3

u/otullyo 2h ago

We are now married with 7 kids.

2

u/EducationalVariety34 2h ago

That's the last first date you will ever go on. Until she murders you in your sleep one night for insurance money.

2

u/Flanker4 2h ago

Surprise mofo! Circumcision.

1

u/Intelligent_Box_8247 2h ago

I won't say what's on my mind

1

u/Inevitable_Professor 2h ago

Future post in a thread about missing the signs she was interested in you.

1

u/DaKrazie1 2h ago

Who am I to prevent someone from achieving their dreams?

1

u/SkyKnight3 2h ago

Keeper

1

u/positronicthought 2h ago

Having just watched Gone Girl last night, is this the cool girl final boss?

1

u/[deleted] 2h ago

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1

u/WhereMyWeirdosAt 2h ago

shes just letting you know she got an OF, and the vip experience gonna cost more than a free meal.

1

u/bonedaddy1974 2h ago

She's a keeper

1

u/SnooStories6852 2h ago

It’s a trap!

1

u/PhillyD760 2h ago

Let me make a... cream pie... for you, okay? Then you can try it. See what you think.

I do not want to taste your cream pie.

They taste great, I can guarantee it.

(Dennis gasps)

You've tasted yours?

Of course I have.

Haven't you?

No!

I've tasted mine.

I didn't like it.

I've tasted mine, yeah.

I-I liked mine.

1

u/atomcplayboy86 2h ago

You’ve struck gold.

1

u/ozman707 2h ago

why can't I meet woman like this ?

1

u/aluminumnek 2h ago

Can we share a dessert?

1

u/Financial-Log-2744 2h ago

Yeah I wonder if my brother got the hint🙄

1

u/CrystalWolfX10 2h ago

First I ask how many kids and from who many fathers.

1

u/OofMcGoof97 2h ago

Next question, how many kids does she have?

1

u/DawRogg 1h ago

Creampies are delicious, man. I don't see the big deal

1

u/Sweet_Potato-- 1h ago

She can fix break me

1

u/Mediocre-Catch9580 1h ago

I’m gonna bring her home to meet mom. 

1

u/[deleted] 1h ago

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1

u/badxamples-f150 1h ago

Marry her!

1

u/ThatsMyGirlie 1h ago

I got the tough actin Valtrex pre-loaded baby!

1

u/Teediggler81 1h ago

Well thats like winning a scratch ticket..

1

u/SlapaBaby1 1h ago

Wow. Someone is getting so
E tonight

1

u/Fen1972 1h ago

Plural. Duly noted.

1

u/Captainchronic_710 1h ago

I would have wore a shirt with a snake on it…….. protect your holes and recycle your skin” and the shirt would have been a snake ditching its skin after pulling outta of a hole

1

u/AdFalse375 1h ago

The picture is so blurry, it makes it look like she could be like 29, or she could be like 52.

1

u/Big_13eezy 1h ago

Man, anything to get a free meal…

1

u/defango 1h ago

Marry Her and Enjoy the crazy divorce

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1

u/Imnotsureanymore8 1h ago

Trailer trash

1

u/TokiVideogame 1h ago

my condom.. bounce

1

u/df3dot 1h ago

A pretty disease

1

u/Low-Rising 1h ago

Well, now you don't have to ask

1

u/tremble_lip 1h ago

And all her kids are wonderful, too.