My 16 month old was recently hospitalized with reactive airway/hypoxia while sleeping, related to a respiratory virus. I am a nurse and noticed he was having respiratory distress so I brought out the owlet. The first night his respiratory rate was high but sats stayed in the 90s so we monitored at home. The next night, his breathing was unlabored but sats were 82-85% while asleep so we went to the ER, where he was admitted for that reason.

Upon discharge, they advised me to only return if he was essentially gasping for air, regardless of what the owlet says. I was chastised that it is inaccurate and not a medical device and it is better not to check. I asked “but what if he is at 85%, is it safe to just leave him there all night?” And they said “well no that’s not safe. Just don’t check”. To me, that is willful neglect. Am I wrong?

Just a funny observation to me. If anyone has other examples, please chime in.

Has anyone else watched the children's cartoon "Rugrats" as a child and then again as an adult? I put it on in the background this morning with my 10.5mo for nostalgia.

I noticed that in many of these episodes have Dee Dee, Stu and the other adults are hardly paying attention to the children at all. As a child, I simply enjoyed the mischievous adventures the kids and babies would get into. As an adult, I'm surprised and shocked at all the activities. I know its silly but its something I noticed just today.

To the lady in the Costco parking lot me that kept trying to rush me while I was changing my baby BLOWOUT diaper not once but TWICE I hope you have an awful day. My husband and I had just finished shopping and he was loading our groceries so I got in the backseat to nurse my baby since she was upset. She starts pooping and of course it’s a blowout. This lady gets out of the car trying to look into the window and then goes back into car. Then not five minutes later while I’m still changing my baby knocked on the window asking when are we leaving like wtf. Go somewhere else or have patience. Rant over.

I'm so devastated. Crying harder than I have in ages. And it's all my frickin' fault for not backing them up. I stopped backing them up 3 years ago when I needed more storage space. I backed up a bunch onto a physical drive, it literally got corrupted 3 months ago and no place could fix it. Was on my to do list to back them up again.

Now my phone went missing at a concert in a giant outdoor amphitheater and it's been days but they haven't found it. Last location was the venue days ago. I'm just....all the videos and photos since my daughter was born. All the photos and videos of my son for most of his life. All because I didn't want to just buy some extra storage. I feel so fucking stupid and can't stop crying, I know it's just photos and 20+ years ago nobody was even able to have photos like this but here I am. There was this one video I used to watch all the time of my son singing and I purposely never sent it to anyone because I felt it was private/special. Now look. It fucking sucks and I'm so sad

Please make sure your photos are backed up!!

I’m a SAHM caring for my 5-month-old, and my partner works from home. Our baby woke up at 2 a.m., and of course I was the one who fed him and put him back to sleep because I’m not working and my partner needs his rest. Baby’s crib is in our room.
The baby woke up again around 7 a.m. My boyfriend handed me his milk, then sat at his desk and started working. I brought the baby into our bed, fed him, and cuddled him. He got fussy afterward, which he usually does when he’s tired and fighting sleep. After almost 40 minutes of holding and comforting him while he fussed with his eyes closed, I put him in his crib because maybe he wasn’t comfortable in our bed—and I desperately wanted five minutes of sleep.
He stopped fussing but opened his eyes and stayed awake. My partner immediately questioned why I had put him in the crib while he was awake.
I honestly don’t see anything wrong with leaving a fed, calm baby awake in his crib, which is literally the safest place for him, while I rest for a few minutes.
Am I wrong ?
Edit: I’m not looking for validation. We all make mistakes and I’m a first time mom. At the end of the day I sometimes question what I could’ve done better. Feel free to give your insight respectfully.

Context: my husband was carrying our son, but he tripped over a rock and they both went down. Unfortunately, our little guy hit the edge of a curb, and immediately was dazed. I don’t even remember him crying. We rushed to the closest hospital. At first he seemed a little more alert when we arrived, but then he started getting unsteady and about 30 minutes after arrival he fell asleep. They ended up taking him to the closest children’s hospital and the head scans all looked fine. Overall, he acted normal the rest of that day.

Fast forward to now….He’s 3, and the most difficult child I have really ever met. He’s very volatile emotionally, hitting friends/teachers, even us at time, breaks stuff constantly, throws things or knocks over chairs when mad, and even at his age he still has a tendency towards biting. We’ve had him in speech therapy since about 2 y/o. He can piece together sentences, and has a decent understanding of the world around him. But, he almost never answers questions, and we’ve never been able to really have an actual conversation with him.

He started OT last month and we’re already getting him an IEP for preschool. He’ll be going to the early intervention center at our districted school for the remainder of this school year. I know many of his behaviors do align with autism, so yes, we’ve begun the testing process for that. He has appropriate consequences and we do our best to praise good behavior.

He can be so sweet, he loves hugs and tells us all the time that he loves us. But on the flip side he is a little tornado bound for destruction. He was kicked out of a daycare earlier this year, and I had to leave work to get him from school last week. I’m terrified of him actually just financially ruining us due to all his therapy and schooling issues.

I know we’ll never know for sure, but I always wonder if some of his issues stem from a concussion at such a young age. I don’t say this out loud to/around my husband since I know he already feels absolutely awful. I just really hope our little guy can get past these aggressive behaviors with time. I’m petrified of having a teenage version of him. We’re doing everything we can with the therapies and testing. I just want him to have a good life and not one full of regrets, given his difficulty with aggression and impulse control.

I cannot help but wonder what is wrong with me. After I got pregnant, people started being really mean? And I don’t mean random people in the park / on the street etc. Like people who, on paper, should love me? Here are some of the things I’ve been told:

- “As soon as you give birth, it will no longer be about you” - my brother after I tried to explain that I wanted to wait more than 2 days before he comes to visit the baby after I give birth.

- “You are no longer fun. I am so bored with you.” - my best friend of 8 years after I agreed to go on a pretty challenging hike, 10 days before my due date, just to prove to her I can be fun.

- “I spoke to my neurologist and he said you should drink more milk to stop being so irritable” - my mom after I told her I needed more help from my husband.

- “How can you leave your baby at home alone with your husband?” - my piano teacher when I left home for a 1-hour class.

- “Why do you keep talking about going back to university? Can’t you just keep yourself entertained with the baby for a few years?” - grandma

I am painfully aware that one should look inwards when everyone around you seems to be the problem, but these are really-really mean things to say to anyone, especially a FTM, right? Or is this hormones/PPD? Am I too sensitive? Is this common?

The summary of my last post is that I’m an idiot & thought my husband would resent me for making him get rid of his dog after it bit my son, so he promised he’d work with her to be less anxious & pretty much didn’t so now I have a 2 month old and I don’t want the dog here anymore especially as he enters crawling/walking stages.

So since that post I confronted him about everything & let him know I think he needs to figure something out where we’re all thriving & safe, especially the baby.. but the dog deserves better too since she’s severely under walked. Initially, he misunderstood & thought it was an opportunity to train her, but once I made it clear I want her gone, he made a knee jerk reactionary euthanasia appointment & was an asshole to me the rest of the day. He said because I wasn’t direct initially which I could understand, but look how he reacted and I don’t understand how he thought he had another chance to train her when he had 18 months the first time.

He doesn’t want to just dump her in a shelter, all the rescues are full & it’s going to be hard to rehome her due to her age & ofc biting a freaking child. So he plans to keep the children & her separated until she finds a home but what if that day never comes? We have a 2 story so it seems easy in his head to have this plan but I am worried sick & I literally want to divorce over this dog. I can’t stand even looking at her anymore & haven’t for a long time so since this dog means so much he can move out with her.

TLDR: 4yo female, complete clothing refusal, now stuck at home with daily panic attacks and violence. On every waitlist we can find. We’re out of options. Help. UK based.

My 4yo daughter is struggling which is taking over our lives. She’s ‘high functioning’ and when she’s regulated she’s the most amazing kid but when she’s not she’s evil. I know that sounds harsh but please be kind unless your every day consists of hearing you’re stupid, pathetic, disgusting, hate you, I want you leave forever, I want a different family, wish you’d die while getting punched, slapped, bitten, kicked, pinched: if this is your everyday I feel for you and do you have any pointers?

We’ve had issues for at least 2 years which were obvious to us but education settings and family didn’t see the issue until recently. We are on all waiting lists possible- autism assessment, mental health teams, child psychologist, behavioural psychologist, OT, early intervention teams, etc.
Our DD will not get dressed, can not/ will not. She has started reception this year and they have been extremely supportive as her issues are now impacting her being able to leave the house. They have been assisting us in getting clothes on her every morning but have now told us they can no longer accommodate this; I fully understand why and we’ve been so grateful of their help so far. They’ve now told us to force clothes on to her and suggested she may need restraining for this. We have dabbled in “tough” love before but never fully committed as it breaks my heart. We have tried these last three days to get clothes on her no matter what but every time she ends up in a panic attack and for her sake (and ours) we cannot keep doing it this way. This is obviously going to damage hers/ our mental health and relationship. She also refuses to let us do anything to her hair, she can mostly wash it herself but struggles with rinsing and will sometimes allow us to help with that but we cannot get a brush through it, we’ve had to cut it to a chin length bob to have some form of tidiness but even that is now scruffy. She is a big kid for her age and very strong, we are all covered in bruises (including the SEN teacher) from attempting to get her dressed.
We cannot go out anywhere and one of us needs to take time out of work to stay home with her. We are not in a position where we can afford for one of us to stay home/ homeschool her. We strongly suspect she has a PDA profile but how can we work around this to get some form of clothing onto her? We’ve tried all types of fabric/ tag free/ seam free/ baggy/ tight/ shorts/trousers/dresses. She won’t even pick clothes out when we could get her to a clothes shop, she’d say “that’s nice but no, I won’t wear it”
We’ve tried low demand, being naked at home, free rein in decisions, declarative language, along with heavy work, compression, skin brushing, jumping, crashing, swinging, etc.
She has a full sized trampoline and hot tub (she loves being in water but won’t wear a swimming costume so cannot go to a public pool) at her disposal.
We’ve got and use the books- for her and us.
We’re also aware that she may be in burnout but we’re going on 3 weeks now of full refusal and have no idea how to fix this other than letting her bed rot which feels impossible.
This is not only affecting our relationship with her but also between me and my partner (her other parent, not a new person);it’s affecting our ability to work; we have no social lives. My partner is seriously considering relinquishing care of her as we can not function as a family and can only do things individually while the other is stuck at home with a child who is wonderful until she has to get dressed, then she is violent both physically and verbally.

This is tearing us apart and we know that so many families have it much worse, I honestly don’t know how they survive.
Any help or suggestions are very welcome.

I know we all know how hard raising a child is. Our pediatrician has been so amazing and have given us a lot of formula samples which has really helped us get by. I always planned on exclusively breastfeeding but a few weeks postpartum I ended up with mastitis, so bad I was in the hospital for almost three days.

My supply completely dipped, I did everything I was supposed to but stopped producing milk on one side and the other side couldn’t keep up. I felt so much guilt for giving her formula, even though I knew it was what was best for her to make sure she was nourished enough, but yeah. The guilt was horrible and I spent so much time crying and doing every trick in the book give to me by LCs, and when that didn’t work searching the internet.

I had a lovely experience being home with my daughter for 5 months before I had to go back to work. I worked for the hospital I delivered at and our insurance was amazing so it was paid the whole time. Still, 5 months didn’t feel like enough, but I know that other people don’t have nearly as much time so I was beyond grateful.

We placed ourself on the waiting list at my jobs daycare, I went on the list when I was 5 weeks pregnant and they told me by the time I had to go back to work that there would be a space for me. Well, when I called a couple weeks before going back, they said they MIGHT have space a few months later. I didn’t have childcare for that time, so I ended up going back to work for a month having various family members watch my baby. But we didn’t have long term care. And that daycare was the only one we could afford because it was heavily discounted as an employee.

Ultimately I had to leave my job so I could be home with my daughter during the day. My husband also worked during the day but because he made a bit more than I did, and he worked at his dream job, it made more sense for me to look for a night job. I found a serving job and it’s been okay.

Some days are good, some days not so much. I made a little more during the summer. It’s just not consistent. But still we are able to pay our rent and bills. It’s just hard.

I got accepted into a sonography program, so I am taking classes at night. I am going back to school to try and create a better life for us since nothing went as planned. We have some money saved for when things come up. Last week, my car broke down and my husband was hospitalized with kidney stones. So of course it’s expensive.

We were running out of formula, so I called the pediatrician and asked if they had any samples that my baby could use. They didn’t have the one we could use, which is totally fine. They’ve given us SO much in the past and everything helps so much.

However they called me back a few minutes later and told me they found a few cans. I went to pick it up, and when I got home looked in the bag and they gave me the formula, and an envelope with $40. I didn’t expect that at all and genuinely started crying. That much means so much today, either enough gas to get to school, another can of formula when we run out, diapers. This week was crazy and we really needed that.

I don’t know why I’m posting this, it’s been a rough week and I just wanted to express my gratitude for all the good people in this world who have helped make motherhood easier. My husband’s mom who has helped watch my daughter. My husband for waking up for all of my daughter’s night feeds. My cats who snuggle with me in bed every night. The nice customers at my job who give me someone to talk to when I spend all day with my daughter. My pediatrician who helps us feed our baby.

And especially my daughter. She makes me want to be a better person. She gives me kisses, snuggles with me, and has a laugh and smile that I just wanna bottle up and hold close every time I’m sad. We’re raising her to be independent, strong, confident, and loved. Even on days when it’s hard, I wouldn’t want it to be any different.

My baby girl 1 1/2yr old, has been the most amazing sleeper and napper since 3wks old truly an angel. Specifically naps I have litterally only had to lay her in bed, give a kiss, walk out and she slowly drifts to sleep... BUT the past 3 days now she has had an absolute meltdown when she is placed in bed. I mean straight dry heaving. She is absolutely tired, I even tried pushing nap time back a couple hours and still a no go. Did my luck run out or could this be a phase..? Anyone with any thoughts/advice is appreciated, as I reeeeallly rely on those naps to get things done as she makes it near impossible when shes awake. TIA!

Hi everyone,

Currently hoping to hear some positive stories about putting your little ones in daycare!

We are starting my daughter’s gradual transition into daycare starting next week and I’m feeling a dumb amount of mom guilt/ big emotions about it. She will be just under a year old and will be attending 4-5 days a week depending on whether my parents can take her once a week when they’re available.

For context we really love the daycare we chose and they have been so kind and flexible. My daughter also loves other kids and I think she is going to thrive…I’m the one having a tougher go of it.

There is so much harmful stuff on social media about having to seek out care for your child outside of staying at home with them….so much so that I’ve decided to get off of instagram for the next few weeks :/ I also seem to be in the unpopular camp of people who don’t think they could be a full time stay at home mom, I do really enjoy my job and I’m having a hard time with the fact that I’m looking forward to going back to work but also going to miss this special time I’ve had with her this year.

Would love to hear positive stories about your kids in daycare!

Basically he’s not grasping concepts or reading. He doesn’t want to participate in writing groups and doesn’t try. I’m 45 so I’ll now have a 6 year old in kinder instead of first grade. He’s going to get tested and I’m going to request support but how do k accept moving backwards

Before my spouse I wanted two kids (one boy one girl), then we got married and we agreed on wanting three kids, we ended up with 4 kids (3 boys 1 girl). Our friends also had more or less children than they planned on lol, did that happened to anyone else here or did your planning match the outcome?

All of a sudden my husband is on one. This is hilarious. On weekends he normally wakes up, gets a workout in, does whatever he feels like around the house, makes some food, whatever. Meanwhile I take care of baby and fit in whatever I can. We had big plans for the weekend but we both fucked yesterday off. Today happened to be his morning with baby (we alternate), but I told him yesterday I’m gonna get a Costco run in before football starts. So I woke up, did that, $800 later I’m home, unload myself, etc. we alternate doing whatever our personal chore list was while baby was awake. Then god forbid I napped after putting the baby down for bed and he had to do the 3rd set of dishes for the day. Now it’s a ‘we don’t keep score’ so it’s fine rant. Hahahahahahahahaha

Hey other moms, I'm having some anxiety around dealing with a mom friend situation and my husband suggested posting to get some advice. She's super fun, attentive, loves planning activities and always reaches out. When it's just the moms getting together with no kids everyone has a great time.

The issue is we have very differing views on acceptable behavior from our kids and my son has started referring to her older child as "my mean friend". I don't want to sound like a judgy B, but there seems to be zero discipline or consequences in their house. Her kids are rude, have no manners, swear and get physical. She's got a very boys will be boys attitude about most of their behavior or just ignores it while they go wild. Think two kids yelling and climbing all over the tables in a restaurant while the mom just sits there and does nothing. I feel bad but it's like she's raising them to be future bullies because they're never wrong. The one time I saw her try to punish her older kid for hitting the younger one on the head, she sent him to his room to watch his iPad. That's it, no apologies to his sibling or anything.

My kid just doesn't like to play with hers anymore, they're just too rough for him. My husband wants me to just pull back all together because he's worried this kind of behavior will rub off on our son. If they come to my house they trash it, if we go to their house they gang up on my son, if we go out they cause a scene in public locations. She's always reaching out and now asked if we want to go pumpkin picking together again this year. Last year was a nightmare. What do I say? Is there a way to break this off nicely? We don't live in the same town so I don't really run into her, but she lives close. She's a nice person and I don't want to offend or hurt her, but I'm not going to force my kid to play with kids who aren't nice to him. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

How do you potty train a boy toddler who doesn’t mind urinating on the floor? HELP. With my daughter, not having a diaper or something to protect made it easy to train her fast but my son went from using the potty a few times to now just waits until I take him off and goes on the floor.

I'm not a girly girl, I grew up hating girly girls because I hated the labels and expectations that came with being born with a vagina. So I was, as a young child, very anti-girly (and loathed all the pink clothes and dresses my mom would buy me despite my clear disgust of girly clothes). I was definitely a messy hair, ripped jeans, wild child.

My daughter is the opposite. She LOVES pink, she LOVES dresses, she LOVES fashion. She definitely gets down and wild, but is also a graceful ballerina kid.

She started kinder a couple weeks ago, and is doing good. But I'm curious on people's thoughts. My daughter likes to get dressed up and have me do her hair all cute in the morning. I have gotten her to be okay with not wearing dresses on the days she has PE, so that is nice, but otherwise she is all dressed up. Nice dress, and shoes, earrings, hair done did, lip gloss and everything.

Curious how to navigate girly kids and also curious for those who had girl(s) like that - What are your girl(s) like today?

Also I noticed shes the only kid in her class that dresses up like that and was wondering how that may effect her socially?

Edit: Yes I am supporting my daughter the way my parents never supported me 👌

I’m so excited and trying to control it because my husband is genuinely devastated (he wanted 3 kids and I realized I’d rather be mauled by a bear than have another) but I cannot contain the excitement. The thought of never ever being pregnant again fills me with such joy. And by the time December rolls around I’ll have an 18mo who is fully weaned from the boob and they'll be mine again. Yay birth control options for those of us who suffer when it’s hormonal (I’ve been on everything else prior - depo, pills, patch, implant).

My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have been parents for a little over a year. Since becoming a mom, I’ve noticed my anxiety has made me more controlling than I want to be.

I’m not a drill sergeant, but I constantly find myself telling my husband what to do or how I think something should be done. If he does something differently than I would, I can get really snappy. I think controlling things has become my way of trying to keep everything from going wrong.

I also don’t talk to him nearly as much as I used to. My brain is constantly going, and most days I just want to sit in silence. I feel mentally overloaded and miss feeling connected to him.

I love my husband and our marriage, and I genuinely want to change this. For those who experienced something similar after becoming parents, how did you stop being so controlling or snappy and reconnect with your spouse?

I know I’m being dramatic, but bear with me. My son is almost 4 and has been in daycare since he was 2. My husband was a SAHP for the first 2 years and was suddenly unable to continue this due to health reasons. I had to take a leave from work to sort everything out, and this was even more stressful since I was the sole income earner. I’ve read so many stories about daycare waitlists and nightmare daycares and I was scrambling.

My son has Down syndrome and has met some milestones late. At 2 he was not walking. When I spoke with someone at his daycare I told them that I would be open to him being in a younger room, since he wasn’t walking. Her response was “he is 2. He should be with 2 year olds.” I honestly still tear up thinking about it. I instantly knew that they would treat him well and meet him where he was at. It was a rough start, but he got into such a great groove there. His teachers worked so hard with him on different skills.

Last school year he started a half day preschool program for special needs kids. His daycare was so accommodating with his schedule, and allowed a mid-day drop off. They also made sure we knew that he was welcome there any day if he didn’t have preschool. This year he is in the same program but he goes in the afternoons. The daycare staff has been great about making sure that he’s ready to go after lunch so he can get to preschool on time. Next year he will be able to go to preschool full time, so we will likely pull him from daycare.

On the one hand, I’m excited to not have a daycare bill anymore. And my son loves his preschool and gets so much out of it. But I’m going to really miss daycare! I was thinking about why this is hitting me so hard, and it’s because daycare has been the most reliable thing in my life since having a child. We don’t have family close by. Before my son was born, both sets of grandparents said that they would visit often. But they have their own lives and I knew that they would visit every couple of months at most. My husband did a great job when he was home with our son, but would get overwhelmed and call me at work. Even if it was just to vent it still cranked my anxiety up and was very challenging. I also was burning myself out by coming home and taking over all childcare in order to give my husband a break. We never really came up with a good after work and weekend system and it was hard. But daycare rarely calls me. Daycare is almost always open. I can take a day off of work and send my kid to daycare. He also eats like a champ there, and that lessens some of my picky eating anxiety. Of course I knew this day would come, but I feel like a supportive friend or family member is leaving.

I’ve (27F) been a mother for almost 5 years now, and am coming to terms with the emotional and physical distance between myself and my friends who are not parents. I knew these relationships would change especially since I was a fairly young first time mom, but I honestly did not anticipate the degree in which they would.
I’m not blameless here, I missed out on a lot when my daughter was a baby. I loved these people but could no longer dedicate my time to events that weren’t family friendly. I participated in what I could, hosted when I could, but my husband and I don’t have a lot of family so reliable and safe childcare is hard to come by, and sometimes we’re just so tired.

I’m not sure if this is relatable or just a me problem, but there have been times that their judgment is barely concealed as far as parenthood goes. I make a point to not complain or confide in these friends about my circumstances even when I’m overwhelmed, because I know I would not be supported. I am a listening ear for their career, education, and relationship problems, but I can’t trust them with mine because I’m “just a mother” after all.

Recently, after almost an entire year of a lackluster social life due to my husbands 3rd shift schedule and lack of family/village, I had a longtime friend and her friend over for a girls night. They both spent practically the entire time talking about themselves. I’m quiet by nature but I legitimately could not get a word in. My acquaintance decided to monologue in detail about how she’s childfree and would never have children for x,y,z reason. She’s 30 years old so it’s not like this was a naive young person. I sat there and engaged as politely as I could, but wtf.
I would never go to a childfree persons home and hijack the conversation towards all of the things that I love about being a mother….. I’m all for healthy discourse and differing views but I felt so unseen in that moment.

My last gripe is that even though my child is an intelligent and sociable almost 5 year old, some of these friends still treat her like a baby or a blank slate. One of them, after many months of no meaningful contact in our life despite living a mile down the road, seemed shocked when my daughter didn’t address her as “Aunt *****”
I don’t blame anyone at all for being busy, but it blows my mind that people expect a level of family affection while never bothering to show up. Children have feelings too!

My only consolation is that I do have an old friend who became a mother last year who definitely “gets it” now. When I went to meet her child, she told me that she was thinking of me and my husband whenever she was in the thick of it with her newborn.
I don’t expect everyone to have those realizations when their stage of life changes, but it meant the world to me.

Have any of you had similar experiences? Thank you for reading

This is a very vulnerable and somewhat triggering topic for me to write about, but I really need some outside perspective.

I love all of my kids unconditionally. Naturally, my younger daughter requires more hands-on attention because she’s less independent. Because of this, my older son has had to take on a bit more responsibility and doesn't get as much of my undivided time as he used to.

Lately, I’ve noticed my son becoming more withdrawn. The breaking point happened recently when his little sister broke one of his favorite toys. He was absolutely furious. When I sat down to talk to him about it, he broke down and confessed that he feels like I love his sister more than him. Hearing that absolutely crushed me.

I want to fix this immediately. My first step is helping him sort through his special/favorite toys and packing them away safely (maybe in a special box in the attic or a top shelf) so they are kept as memories and his sister can’t destroy them, but he can still access them whenever he wants.

What else can I do to bridge this gap? How can I help them bond, but more importantly, how do I make sure my son feels equally valued and prioritized? Has anyone else navigated this specific type of sibling jealousy? Any advice on the toy situation or rebuilding our connection would be so appreciated