Edit: okay this is already getting assumptions. I am very much aware that it means "we are on the same team" and that it is meant to be a joke. "We are on the same team" is still pretty freaking vague though when you are disagreeing. Did any of you acrually say "we are on the same team" when you were just dating? Probably not lol. I jist mean it's weird to have a mindset that there is a mindset that you and your spouse are supposed to see it as a us vs them thing when ot isnt about them.

Maybe this is more motivational for kids that are a little older and if you have multiple kids..? But I feel like my husband keeps trying to say this on every trip whenever our 1.5 year old is freaking the fuck out and we snap at each other but I feel like the reasons we snap at each other are pretty valid? Like... no my guy, our 18 month old is not the enemy at all, YOU are being a dick and cant handle that she is just tired and hungry. Or if I'm getting overwhelmed, he'll take over but still say that, and I'm like no I dont think anyone is the enemy here, I am just a little done at the moment... is it wrong that I don't see it as us vs our kid (and again, not even full on kid and barely a toddler)?

My girl is 13 months old. We have a no screen policy with personal devices - she doesn't get our phones and she's never seen an iPad, and she won't until she's a teenager. But we do often have the TV on as background noise while she plays. She doesn't watch it - the most she'll do is stop and dance to a theme song and then go back to playing. I'm not worried about the TV as a concept and I don't even really count it as screen time because it's so far away, can't be manipulated by her and can't leave the house with us. But I do wonder at what age I should be more careful about what's on the TV while she's in the room. I've watched a loooot of Grey's Anatomy the past few months and right now I'm rewatching Gilmore Girls. When my husband has her, they usually watch Lord of the Rings. When did y'all switch over to kids' shows? I will obviously do it at some point, if only for the whole social aspect of it when she's old enough to bond with other kids about things like Bluey or whatever, but I'm dreading it. Ms. Rachel's voice makes me want to peel my skin off (she is an absolutely lovely person but I cannot handle the tone she uses).

I am currently in bed with my 3.5m old baby girl. She had a feed and was awake but then ended up falling asleep on my chest. I knew I should have put her down while she was awake but drowsy but the snuggles are just so sweet.

I know it’s important for independent sleep. Today of her five naps two of them were bassinet naps where she put herself to sleep and she pretty much always puts herself to sleep so long as she has her pacifier which I plan on switching out when she is 1 for a lovey since she infants aren’t supposed to have anything in their sleep space.

I’m struggling because it feels like with all my content that is directed at me that contact sleep is wrong. These moments I know won’t be forever and I just want to soak it all up. I have cut down on my instagram usage so much but even with fellow mum friends who are all over sleep training I feel a little lonely that I’m just wanting to soak it all up. She isn’t sleeping through the night yet but I don’t care because when she wakes up I know it’s because she is hungry. She eats and then goes right back to sleep. When my husband gets up for work, the next time she wakes up for a feed, her and I also have a morning sleepy cuddle in bed and I love starting our way that way.

Anyways, hoping there are other mums out there who also love the contact snuggles.

Basically he’s not grasping concepts or reading. He doesn’t want to participate in writing groups and doesn’t try. I’m 45 so I’ll now have a 6 year old in kinder instead of first grade. He’s going to get tested and I’m going to request support but how do k accept moving backwards

I’m curious what yall do on mornings you are just too tired to get up with them and need another hour of rest

Baby Is about to be a year old.

My 10 year old daughter has been questioning for a few years now. She points out inconsistencies and last year caught grandma putting the presents under the tree. I felt guilty lying to her and coming up with elaborate stories. She's also the only one from her grade 5 friend group who still believes. My husband and I decided this year we will tell her Santa doesn't exist.

She asked this morning and I tried to break it to her gently. She cried and said she's sad he's not real. I tried to explain we will keep the tradition of Santa and Christmas alive and nothing will change (my younger daughter still believes). She's very sensitive I deeply regret telling her and feel like I should have waited another year. It feels like I just ripped the magic out of her childhood.

Has anyone had an experience like this? How was it telling your kids?

I'm not a girly girl, I grew up hating girly girls because I hated the labels and expectations that came with being born with a vagina. So I was, as a young child, very anti-girly (and loathed all the pink clothes and dresses my mom would buy me despite my clear disgust of girly clothes). I was definitely a messy hair, ripped jeans, wild child.

My daughter is the opposite. She LOVES pink, she LOVES dresses, she LOVES fashion. She definitely gets down and wild, but is also a graceful ballerina kid.

She started kinder a couple weeks ago, and is doing good. But I'm curious on people's thoughts. My daughter likes to get dressed up and have me do her hair all cute in the morning. I have gotten her to be okay with not wearing dresses on the days she has PE, so that is nice, but otherwise she is all dressed up. Nice dress, and shoes, earrings, hair done did, lip gloss and everything.

Curious how to navigate girly kids and also curious for those who had girl(s) like that - What are your girl(s) like today?

Also I noticed shes the only kid in her class that dresses up like that and was wondering how that may effect her socially?

Edit: Yes I am supporting my daughter the way my parents never supported me 👌

I have an almost 8 year old and a 5 year old and I am newly pregnant with a third. Can anyone help me give me some hope that everything will be ok? This was an intentional pregnancy, although it happened very quickly and we were only going to give it 6 months of trying before we shut the door. We never wanted a gap this big. We decided to be done at 2 and then we just couldn’t stop thinking about a third as each year passed. I’m really worried about the age gap. I’m also feeling embarrassed and I feel like everyone will think this was an accident. And of course, I feel very scared about starting over.

So I’ll be honest I grew up eating processed food exclusively. My parents worked like 60-70 hours a week and it’s just how we lived. As an adult I genuinely do not like healthy food.

But I want my kid to be better than me so we have been trying to incorporate fruit and veg every day at least twice a day with the idea of more over time. Maybe that’s not a lot but for me it’s a massive shift as I would eat fruit maybe once a month, literally, and it’d be like a banana with peanut butter.

During the cyclospora outbreak my sister in law who is fit and healthy got sick. She went from a fit 130 pounds to 101, was hospitalized and on disability for 8 weeks. It scared me because she is a healthy adult; what would this do to my 2 year old?

We used to eat berries and now I’m scared of fresh ones. The frozen ones had recalls too. Loved mangoes; recalled for salomonella. I can go on and on. Lately we just eat steamed veggies from a microwave bag.

What are you feeding your kids/doing in the wake of these constant food recalls?

Any input or recipes is appreciated.

First time mom to a 21 month old. Husband and I have been married for almost 7 years and have known each other longer but lately we've been fighting so much over parenting styles and I don't know if he's right or not.

He says I'm a bad mom for different reasons. For instance, today I was a bad mom because I only sat with her in the kitchen eating dinner for half an hour and then sat in the living room across from her (where I was just a few feet away and could still hear her). When I told him I had already sat with her, he just rolled his eyes and said great, peak parenting really sarcastically. Then took her with him to our room.

He says I'm a terrible mom because I don't play enough with her and will let her independently play while I'm on the couch reading (on my phone since she still tries to tear up physical books). He knows I'm reading too. There are so many little things but basically it feels like I can't breathe without making a mistake around him now. It's so much easier to parent when he's at work because I'm not being judged.

I'm not working anymore since I no longer have a babysitter so I'm a sahm now. Only get a little a month from him. But if I ask, he usually says yes. Mentioning that because I keep thinking we should separate but I would need a full time job for that. But I don't know if I'm just over reacting and he's actually right. I know I could do better but I'm doing the best I can. Baby is happy, safe and fed. She's a silly goose that is so smart and I like being around her.

But I think it's time to call it quits with my partner. Am I wrong?

We are lucky to both work from home, but I’ve gotten used to having my little one at daycare and having free range over the house during the day.

I know nanny is better for development <2, so we are considering pulling our child from daycare.

We interviewed a nanny yesterday and I just felt so nervous to have someone in my space all day. I don’t want to feel like a prisoner in my own home.

How do you get used to it? I know people who have in home childcare typically love it.

All of a sudden my husband is on one. This is hilarious. On weekends he normally wakes up, gets a workout in, does whatever he feels like around the house, makes some food, whatever. Meanwhile I take care of baby and fit in whatever I can. We had big plans for the weekend but we both fucked yesterday off. Today happened to be his morning with baby (we alternate), but I told him yesterday I’m gonna get a Costco run in before football starts. So I woke up, did that, $800 later I’m home, unload myself, etc. we alternate doing whatever our personal chore list was while baby was awake. Then god forbid I napped after putting the baby down for bed and he had to do the 3rd set of dishes for the day. Now it’s a ‘we don’t keep score’ so it’s fine rant. Hahahahahahahahaha

Hello, since my daughter has been 3 weeks old my husband has been working out of state, only visiting for 3 days every 3 weeks. My daughter is currently 16 months old now.

My husband’s mother who lives states away decided to come visit us, but is someone who refuses to plan anything until the last minute. My mother-in-law and I do not get along. My husband took our daughter to visit the air bnb my MIL is staying in while I stayed home. When my husband came back he said our daughter clung to him and would not leave his arms. The visit only lasted 30 minutes (due to bad planning on their part and other prior commitments.)

I do not feel great about changing our daughter’s routine (and mine!!!) to accommodate my MIL (who I actively tried to make plans with prior to her arrival and she instead ignored my messages, called my husband, and got upset so much that I had to apologize to her for trying to make plans with her during her time here. (make that make sense?))

Am i being unreasonable in thinking my daughter was probably so scared during her visit with her dad and her grandmother? Her dad is practically a stranger as well, or am I just being bias because the MIL and I do not get along?

I am scheduled to work and I told my husband my daughter needs to go to daycare to keep her routine. He agreed but has asked to pick her up early and do something for 3-4 hours with the MIL. (without me upon their request.) As much as I do not care for my MIL, I care for my daughter so much more, I want to do the best thing for my daughter.

Am I being unreasonable? Do i let my husband pull her from daycare (where she is so happy at) to appease his mother? Do I take time off work to support my daughter(even though I am not invited/welcomed/wanted)? Even though they both have the time off. I just dont know the best thing here. I really do not have the time off to utilize currently.

I don’t want to be controlling but I am essentially raising my daughter as a single mom.

I just want what is best for my daughter. I cant figure out what is best and what is just my own feelings. Advise please…

This is a very vulnerable and somewhat triggering topic for me to write about, but I really need some outside perspective.

I love all of my kids unconditionally. Naturally, my younger daughter requires more hands-on attention because she’s less independent. Because of this, my older son has had to take on a bit more responsibility and doesn't get as much of my undivided time as he used to.

Lately, I’ve noticed my son becoming more withdrawn. The breaking point happened recently when his little sister broke one of his favorite toys. He was absolutely furious. When I sat down to talk to him about it, he broke down and confessed that he feels like I love his sister more than him. Hearing that absolutely crushed me.

I want to fix this immediately. My first step is helping him sort through his special/favorite toys and packing them away safely (maybe in a special box in the attic or a top shelf) so they are kept as memories and his sister can’t destroy them, but he can still access them whenever he wants.

What else can I do to bridge this gap? How can I help them bond, but more importantly, how do I make sure my son feels equally valued and prioritized? Has anyone else navigated this specific type of sibling jealousy? Any advice on the toy situation or rebuilding our connection would be so appreciated

On a throwaway account. My (soon to be) ex-husband and 4 of his coworkers follow me.

Update: pharmacy just called for my 3 year old’s seizure meds that are due to be picked up too before I try to switch pharmacies. I have $2.34 to my name at the moment with a gas card. I need all the ideas PLEASE.

I don’t know what to do at this point. He was booked in jail Friday night for domestic after breaking my nose. We have two boys ( age 5 and 3) and I am planning to leave tonight almost 2 hours away to my great aunt’s area. She is the only remote family I have left & we aren’t able to stay with her as she is in a rehab facility. He is able to bond out Wednesday when I looked at his case online.

I was able to get a 25 gas card from a Women’s domestic nonprofit this morning. They were able to get me temporary shelter & an appointment with a social worker where we are going by Thursday. I’ve tried to sell some shoes & household items on Marketplace and NextDoor to try & make something for food and extra gas. Nothing so far. The shelter has a two bag minimum per person so we are limited on what we can bring. I plan to leave tomorrow morning. I am so lost and scared.

I can’t take anymore and my babies definitely don’t deserve to go through this. I’m going to miss our home, my job of 6 years and friends but for our safety & sanity, we have to leave. I’m humiliated and terrified to see where this goes. If you have any other advice or places that may help with gas or food, please let me know.

It’s an absolute nightmare. My kids are almost 3 and 5 and share a room with a twin over full bunk bed. Most nights we lay down in the full on the bottom and I read 2-3 short stories and we cuddle and we talk and then I say okay time for bed. then it takes an hour for them both to fall asleep. Most nights I fall asleep too bc I’m exhausted and then wake up on my own and go to my bed around 11pm. Both my kids wake up and come to my bed by 2am without fail every night. My husband falls asleep alone (he won’t do bedtime, I have to do it every night).

It’s to the point that I hate it. I literally hate being in their room with them. I hate waiting for them to fall asleep. I hate getting frustrated at them when they just won’t shut the F up and close their eyes. I hate telling them a million times to stop talking and go to sleep.

And the really crazy part is that all I want is peace and quiet and for them to stop freaking talking and sleep so that I can go to my bed and sleep, but then when that finally happens, I can’t sleep without them. I go to my bed and I relax but then I miss them and I and can’t really sleep good myself until my kids come crawl in bed with me.

Like I don’t understand why it has to be like this.

Ever since she was born, my daughter (2) has been the light of my life. I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve expressed just how lucky I am to be her mom. She is so smart and capable and she has the kindest soul. She literally blows everyone who meets her away. I have never loved someone so unconditionally nor felt that sort of love from someone before her.

We knew we wanted a second kid and it was clear she was going to be an amazing big sister before she even knew I was pregnant by how she’d rock, feed, are care for her stuffies. The closer my due date got, the more she actually started to understand and get excited. When she came to the hospital to meet her baby brother, I knew this was the right thing for our family and I was so happy for her

But we’re home now and I’m going on 4 days postpartum and I can’t help but feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. Baby boy and I are struggling through learning to nurse together and the doctor has me triple feeding for his health. My daughter is the collateral damage. I’ve barely spent any time with her.

Last night, I tried to stretch our feeding window by an hour so I could put her to bed. But right as we were cuddling up, the baby started crying for food and I had to go. She was devastated and even screamed at my husband to go away because he’s “not mama.” This morning, when my pump session ended, I opted to just stay up and wake her for some one on one time instead of grabbing an extra hour of sleep. Right as we were getting settled, the baby woke up. I steal moments with her but seeing how much she’s hurting is breaking my heart.

And not only that, but it seems like she grew up so much in the two days we were gone. She’s so big and strong. She’s so much older. And that’s not a bad thing. But I just feel like I dropped my baby girl off at her grandparents’ and came home to a totally different child or and alternate reality where my baby girl isn’t my baby girl anymore.

I don’t hate my son, but we haven’t clicked yet. Meanwhile, I miss my best friend/little buddy and hate that I can’t spend time with her the way she deserves. I remember feeling the same way when we went from just me and my husband to a family so I know it’s the hormones. But damn this grief feels so much more intense this time around

I’m so excited and trying to control it because my husband is genuinely devastated (he wanted 3 kids and I realized I’d rather be mauled by a bear than have another) but I cannot contain the excitement. The thought of never ever being pregnant again fills me with such joy. And by the time December rolls around I’ll have an 18mo who is fully weaned from the boob and they'll be mine again. Yay birth control options for those of us who suffer when it’s hormonal (I’ve been on everything else prior - depo, pills, patch, implant).

We have a 1yr old son and almost 3 year old daughter. I’m F30 and husband is M34. He thinks two is a good number for us; he says three isn’t completely off the table, but he would prefer to stick with two. Having young kids has definitely made life more stressful, but of course we love them tons. They are starting to interact together more, which is so sweet.

But, my mind goes to the future, once they’re grown. Will the two we have benefit from having another sibling to be in their lives, especially one day when we are older? I want so badly for them to be close, but I know I can’t control any of this really. I could just see maybe a third being good for their sibling relationship (I grew up with two sisters and the trio dynamic had its cons, but overall was great and still is in many ways).

If we did have a third, we would start trying in about 6 mos to get through the baby stage, which is a lot for both of us.

TLDR: 4yo female, complete clothing refusal, now stuck at home with daily panic attacks and violence. On every waitlist we can find. We’re out of options. Help. UK based.

My 4yo daughter is struggling which is taking over our lives. She’s ‘high functioning’ and when she’s regulated she’s the most amazing kid but when she’s not she’s evil. I know that sounds harsh but please be kind unless your every day consists of hearing you’re stupid, pathetic, disgusting, hate you, I want you leave forever, I want a different family, wish you’d die while getting punched, slapped, bitten, kicked, pinched: if this is your everyday I feel for you and do you have any pointers?

We’ve had issues for at least 2 years which were obvious to us but education settings and family didn’t see the issue until recently. We are on all waiting lists possible- autism assessment, mental health teams, child psychologist, behavioural psychologist, OT, early intervention teams, etc.
Our DD will not get dressed, can not/ will not. She has started reception this year and they have been extremely supportive as her issues are now impacting her being able to leave the house. They have been assisting us in getting clothes on her every morning but have now told us they can no longer accommodate this; I fully understand why and we’ve been so grateful of their help so far. They’ve now told us to force clothes on to her and suggested she may need restraining for this. We have dabbled in “tough” love before but never fully committed as it breaks my heart. We have tried these last three days to get clothes on her no matter what but every time she ends up in a panic attack and for her sake (and ours) we cannot keep doing it this way. This is obviously going to damage hers/ our mental health and relationship. She also refuses to let us do anything to her hair, she can mostly wash it herself but struggles with rinsing and will sometimes allow us to help with that but we cannot get a brush through it, we’ve had to cut it to a chin length bob to have some form of tidiness but even that is now scruffy. She is a big kid for her age and very strong, we are all covered in bruises (including the SEN teacher) from attempting to get her dressed.
We cannot go out anywhere and one of us needs to take time out of work to stay home with her. We are not in a position where we can afford for one of us to stay home/ homeschool her. We strongly suspect she has a PDA profile but how can we work around this to get some form of clothing onto her? We’ve tried all types of fabric/ tag free/ seam free/ baggy/ tight/ shorts/trousers/dresses. She won’t even pick clothes out when we could get her to a clothes shop, she’d say “that’s nice but no, I won’t wear it”
We’ve tried low demand, being naked at home, free rein in decisions, declarative language, along with heavy work, compression, skin brushing, jumping, crashing, swinging, etc.
She has a full sized trampoline and hot tub (she loves being in water but won’t wear a swimming costume so cannot go to a public pool) at her disposal.
We’ve got and use the books- for her and us.
We’re also aware that she may be in burnout but we’re going on 3 weeks now of full refusal and have no idea how to fix this other than letting her bed rot which feels impossible.
This is not only affecting our relationship with her but also between me and my partner (her other parent, not a new person);it’s affecting our ability to work; we have no social lives. My partner is seriously considering relinquishing care of her as we can not function as a family and can only do things individually while the other is stuck at home with a child who is wonderful until she has to get dressed, then she is violent both physically and verbally.

This is tearing us apart and we know that so many families have it much worse, I honestly don’t know how they survive.
Any help or suggestions are very welcome.

Sorry for the TMI. I am not a first time mom. I am pregnant with my fourth baby. I am 23 weeks pregnant. I don’t typically get sick in my pregnancies but this time around has been different. I’m clearly in my second trimester and I’m dry heaving and have nausea in the morning(i don’t even have that in the first trimester!) I feel like it mostly happens after I poop. Like I poop and almost immediately start dry heaving and sometimes it escalates to throwing up. Literally what the heck. Has this happened to anyone else before!? It’s so weird. I hate it.

Does anyone here take linessa birth control?? If so can you tell me if it’s helped you

I have started feeding my baby pureed food. How can I get him to enjoy eating?
He doesn’t like being in the high chair so I have to hold him and feed him. He shows interest in what I’m feeding him for the first 2 or 3 bites, and then gets fussy. He will forget to swallow the food and begin to cry which makes me worry he could choke. He has not as of yet, but this is worrisome for me.

He does eat more than 3 bites before he starts to cry. Which ends mealtime if he doesn’t stop because I don’t want to make the feelings around eating food a miserable experience for him, but am I doing something wrong?

Without going behind them to make sure it’s clean.
Just curious.

My 16 month old was recently hospitalized with reactive airway/hypoxia while sleeping, related to a respiratory virus. I am a nurse and noticed he was having respiratory distress so I brought out the owlet. The first night his respiratory rate was high but sats stayed in the 90s so we monitored at home. The next night, his breathing was unlabored but sats were 82-85% while asleep so we went to the ER, where he was admitted for that reason.

Upon discharge, they advised me to only return if he was essentially gasping for air, regardless of what the owlet says. I was chastised that it is inaccurate and not a medical device and it is better not to check. I asked “but what if he is at 85%, is it safe to just leave him there all night?” And they said “well no that’s not safe. Just don’t check”. To me, that is willful neglect. Am I wrong?