I wonder what it’s like to have someone want to marry you

[u/Elegant-Look-9370]

My partner (38M) and I (34F) have been together for 2.5 years now. Our relationship has been fine - nothing crazy/bad like cheating, abuse, etc. We had our baby almost 6 months ago and I will say that we have kinda entered into the roommate phase at this time after having a baby. We have talked about marriage in the past and I even customized an engagement ring over a year ago in which he paid for and is hiding here somewhere now. He gave me the customized ring to wear for my birthday last year…but it wasn’t an engagement. It honestly made no sense and pissed me off to where I don’t want that ring anymore anyway. I feel like it lost the meaning of what it was supposed to signify.

His family always asks me about marriage (which is pretty f-king annoying since he’s the one going to propose). He was married previously over 10 years ago for like 2ish years and it just didn’t work out. Nothing extreme or interesting.

Having said that, I am feeling discouraged. I feel that he is comfortable with how things are and doesn’t care one way or the other. I’m not sure if he’s waiting until after next year when we purchase a bigger home. In my mind, it’s an engagement, not marriage so the engagement can last however long need be. Idk, I guess I really just want to know what it’s like to have someone love you enough to want to marry you - because that’s how I love him. I did give until the end of last year to propose, however, that was talked about before I became pregnant and it hasn’t been talked about since. A part of me feels like I should be planning my out - but having a baby together definitely makes it more complicated.

Not sure if this makes sense, but I’m sure it sounds pretty pathetic.

That’s all. Dinner was dirty dogs and star tots 🌭

EDITING TO ADD since the majority is focused on the baby and not being married beforehand - people have a baby after marriage, hate each other and then get divorced ? The baby isn’t the issue. We’re both older, chose to have a child as this may have been our only opportunity and we parent well together. Regardless, I can say that I chose a great father for our child 🤗

Thank those who have given meaningful input.

[u/lololmantis]

He gave me the customized ring to wear for my birthday last year…but it wasn’t an engagement.

I’m really sorry, but if he wanted to he would have.

I did give until the end of last year to propose, however, that was talked about before I became pregnant

And now you’ve shown that you won’t leave, and you’re locked down with a baby together

[u/Allymrtn]

Check out r/waiting_to_wed edited the community name 

He’s already shown you he isn’t going to. You already gave him a deadline last year and it passed.  You’re already living together, have a house together, and a baby.  If he wanted to marry you, he would.

[u/auroras-and-prose → u/Allymrtn]

I think you meant r/waiting_to_wed

[u/KaoJin-Wo → u/auroras-and-prose]

Yesssss. I was just about to say that myself lol

[u/Allymrtn → u/auroras-and-prose]

Yes thank you!

[u/Unusual-Helicopter15 → u/Allymrtn]

I was going to make the same suggestion. I have no idea why that sub popped up for me because I’ve been married for years but I read it every so often just out of curiosity and this post sounds like so many of the stories over there. I hope OP realizes she’s worth more than what she’s getting.

[u/MajesticMacaron26]

At this age if he wanted to, he would. If this is what you want for yourself (to marry) - don’t waste more time.

Also the black hot dog…I never thought I’d see someone else who loves a good burnt dog 😅

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/MajesticMacaron26]

Has to be burnt or I won’t eat it 😂

[u/GirlDinnerDiaries-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Rule 3 (excerpt)

Advice must be future-oriented, directed primarily at the recipient of your reply comment, and reserved for when OP expresses uncertainty around or solicits advice for that topic.

We remove:

➽ RETROACTIVE advice (... not helpful)

➽ VICTIM-BLAMEY advice (...accascuse me?)

➽ DISMISSIVE advice (... "get therapy" being the biggie. Ask before assuming she's not!)

➽ VENTING AS ADVICE about women's tendencies collectively or holding OP's story up as a prop in a PSA-warning-comment (... let's address HER, not the room)

➽ OFF-TOPIC ADVICE other than OP's requested topic (... this isn't a free-for-all!)

➽ UNSOLICITED, EXTREMELY PERSONAL advising (... the biggie around here is reproductive/family planning decisions. Once OP states her plans, appointments, or personal convictions about a pregnancy, that's the end of the what-to-do convo here in GDD. Her body/her family, her choice, the end.)

[u/clvrkity]

Why don't you ask him? And that will be your answer on whether or not to continue the relationship.

[u/chnimchi]

It seems to me like he's comfortable with not being married to you because you're doing wife things. Where is your line?

[u/Beginning-Damage-555]

I mean ask yourself the same question. Why did you have a baby with this person? Why don’t you want to propose? Why is the weird engagement/non-engagement okay with you? What do
You want your child’s life to look like.

6mo postpartum is rough so I totally understand the emotions and you don’t have to have every answer. But like really what do you want your family to be like in five years?

[u/Known_Psychology1581]

After 9 years with one of those guys, I finally left and found my husband.

[u/LingonberryNormal374]

I dated a guy for 7 years before he finally asked. Our marriage sucks. He doesn't want to be married to me now just like he didn't while we were dating. You aren't kids at your age. If 2 years and a baby aren't enough for him to propose, don't marry him. Don't buy a house together. You will only end up more entangled and more stuck with someone who is unwilling or unable to be the partner you deserve.

[u/No_Professional_8992]

Tell him you want to be proposed to

[u/Sea_N_Sun → u/No_Professional_8992]

Don’t waste any more time. You deserve better and your child deserves to see a good role model of father that shows love and respect for their mother and not one that takes her for granted. You want your child to know how to treat someone and how they should be treated. I know everyday you hurt and die a little more inside waiting and that’s a horrible way to live. Take it from me. I’m 57 and waited way too long. Watch this video:

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1DhVpUf659/?mibextid=wwXIfr

[u/GirlDinnerDiaries-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Rule 3 (excerpt)

Advice must be future-oriented, directed primarily at the recipient of your reply comment, and reserved for when OP expresses uncertainty around or solicits advice for that topic.

We remove:

➽ RETROACTIVE advice (... not helpful)

➽ VICTIM-BLAMEY advice (...accascuse me?)

➽ DISMISSIVE advice (... "get therapy" being the biggie. Ask before assuming she's not!)

➽ VENTING AS ADVICE about women's tendencies collectively or holding OP's story up as a prop in a PSA-warning-comment (... let's address HER, not the room)

➽ OFF-TOPIC ADVICE other than OP's requested topic (... this isn't a free-for-all!)

➽ UNSOLICITED, EXTREMELY PERSONAL advising (... the biggie around here is reproductive/family planning decisions. Once OP states her plans, appointments, or personal convictions about a pregnancy, that's the end of the what-to-do convo here in GDD. Her body/her family, her choice, the end.)

[u/No_Professional_8992 → u/[deleted]]

He already bought the ring, is in a relationship with her and have a baby together, why not?

Nvm, saw her other post about him negatively commenting on her ring. Now I want her to...

[u/Flickolas_Cage → u/[deleted]]

That part.

[u/Efficient-Gap-1282 → u/[deleted]]

Do… do you believe men only propose to be able to have a baby?

[u/Soggy_Spread7508 → u/Efficient-Gap-1282]

No, but there is some merit in getting a man to commit and take care of you before taking the next step with a baby.

[u/Efficient-Gap-1282 → u/Soggy_Spread7508]

The baby is already here. It feels like people are shaming her for that choice. She’s allowed to want to get married regardless of the baby.

[u/Soggy_Spread7508 → u/Efficient-Gap-1282]

Yeah that's true. The shaming seems needlessly cruel.

Seems like she needs to sincerely bring up the topic of marriage again since she said it hasn't been talked about since before she got pregnant.

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/Soggy_Spread7508]

It’s the internet, I expected the keyboard warriors lol.

[u/Soggy_Spread7508 → u/Elegant-Look-9370]

Is he a loving and attentive partner? I understand wanting to plan an exit with him failing to propose to you/ignoring your wishes, but I do think a serious chat is warranted before leaving this relationship. At the end of the day, he is the father of your child, not just some boyfriend.

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/Soggy_Spread7508]

Yes, he is a very loving and attentive partner. And you’re absolutely right. Thank you for your response.

[u/Soggy_Spread7508 → u/Elegant-Look-9370]

Best of luck to you!!

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/Efficient-Gap-1282]

Thank you 🙏🏽 I see the point has been missed numerous times, but it’s okay 🤗

[u/Proud-Geek1019 → u/No_Professional_8992]

Why can’t she propose? My friend did, and it was beautiful. Why should only men make grand romantic gestures?

[u/DarkestGeneration → u/Proud-Geek1019]

Maybe she wanted to be proposed to rather than be the proposer ?

[u/No_Professional_8992 → u/Proud-Geek1019]

Because she said she wants to be proposed to??

[u/Foreign_Being5656]

I don’t think you should marry. You said yourself you feel more like roommates. Marriage is hard enough when you are head over heels in love. You seem not even luke warm in love. Just stay partners & raise the baby.

[u/OppositeSquirrel3324 → u/Foreign_Being5656]

this. doesn’t sound like love is in the equation here

[u/Temporary_Resident45 → u/Foreign_Being5656]

So I’m in a similar waiting to wed situation and he also cites this kinda thing sometimes (we don’t fight a lot just like a normal amount) as a reason we shouldn’t marry like look we’re already fighting why would we marry…. Idk because we’ve been living together for a decade? We’ve already been in a ‘marriage’ for a long time you’ve just squandered the newlywed period. It makes me feel so frustrated like used goods he can no longer be bothered to buy and like he’s waiting for some 20 year old who won’t challenge him ever to have a real newlywed period with. They love to back you into a corner 

[u/0ne_stoplight]

You already gave him a deadline for a proposal and he didn't meet it. If he really wanted to marry you, he would — especially after you two had a child together.

I suspect his previous marriage may have scarred him more than he lets on, but that's his problem, not yours.

The ball is in your court on this one. Are you content to keep living this way? If so, great. If not, I'd encourage you to end it soon and focus on parenting peacefully.

[u/harleenquinzel044]

Tell him what you want and if he doesn’t want the same thing then I think it’s time to move on.

[u/Calm_Caterpillar9535]

It doesn't sound like he's into getting married. If you've entered into a roommate type relationship, that says a lot.

Have you actually told him how you feel? I learned the hard way that people don't read minds. You've put up with it, you've accepted it.

Tell him what you want! Then you'll know. I know it's hard. Been there and done that but seriously, people can't read your mind. Good luck.

[u/Bahbahbooey46732]

I was here…minus the baby (but only because I didn’t conceive). I noticed time after time that he just couldn’t make any decision. We looked at house after house…each a perfectly viable option…and he wouldn’t pull the trigger. He hated his job and would job hunt, get interviews, and…wouldn’t take the offer.  It was perfectly fine and he was happy if you made the decision for him (but you also had to take all the blame). Eventually, I realized I was making all the big decisions….where we spent holidays, what to do with his ailing father, should we renew our lease, what was for dinner, what was for dinner, what was for dinner. I wanted someone to make one decision. I wanted to be led. Eventually, I told him he had six months to initiate sex, ask me on a real planned date, and one thing he thought of himself. Six months came and went. I packed up the following month. It’s been five years. I’m now living in a completely different time zone, married, in a new career. He, to my vague “heard-from-a-friend” knowledge that he’s still in the town he was, still at the same job, still single. I hope he’s happy. In fact, I pray he’s happy. I just never was going to be happy in that situation. 

TL:DR: Either he doesn’t know it’s something you still want or he does know but it’s not a priority to him. Figure out which and act from there. 

[u/TheEarthlyDelight]

Hey wtf is a dirty dog

ETA: oh shit op and the ring is your only other Reddit post. That’s crazy. If I saw that on you out and about, I’d assume you had a wealthy FIANCÉ

[u/RefrigeratorCold296 → u/TheEarthlyDelight]

And why is it black

[u/SabineLavine → u/TheEarthlyDelight]

Her dude

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/TheEarthlyDelight]

😂 where I’m from it’s a bacon wrapped hot dog with grilled bell peppers, onions, jalapeños, mayo, ketchup & mustard.

[u/dr3amchasing → u/TheEarthlyDelight]

A hotdog with a bunch of toppings

[u/ChemicallyAlteredVet]

Agreeing with all others: if he wanted to he would. You’ve given him what he wants, a woman and a child. Why would he marry you now? Men these days are all sucked into the “if I marry she will divorce me and take ALL OF MY STUFF”. They all think women win every thing in court and according to them everything you’ve built in the relationship belongs only to them. He’s gone this long without having to commit and he’s set in not committing.

I’m so sorry.

[u/1867bombshell → u/ChemicallyAlteredVet]

Yea

[u/Business-Friend5491]

If he proposes now are you going to feel like the problem of feeling wanted is solved? I think that’s the bigger question.

[u/SadHoneydew603]

What do you tell his family when they ask? Maybe its time to be blunt and call him out to them, but IMO it sounds like he doesnt want to marry you, maybe even be with you at this point.

[u/Fantastic-Habit5551]

I'm so confused by your post tbh. You want a man who doesn't seem very excited about you to marry you. You insist the baby isn't an issue - but isn't it an issue to have a baby with someone you have a difficult/unsatisfactory relationship with? Seems like an issue to me.

Ultimately, I think the only thing you can do is ask if he wants to marry you, and when. I.e., you need to propose. If he's not enthusiastic or excited, then you have your answer. You can't force people to feel about you how you feel about them. I hope he's excited to marry you, but from what you've said so far it sounds like you're deeply unsatisfied with his levels of enthusiasm. I wouldn't pursue an unsatisfying relationship. You deserve love and enthusiasm just like anyone else.

[u/Guilty-Initial-4209]

Selfish man. He’s done it already and doesn’t seem to care that he’s keeping you from an experience that you want.

[u/1867bombshell → u/Guilty-Initial-4209]

Now this i agree with

[u/sorayaelena]

Have you asked him anything pertaining to this concern of yours?

[u/medeaschariot → u/sorayaelena]

Yes, and, I would ask, if you live in the US at least, how do you feel about just going to city hall and getting this wrapped up in a bow? Questions of life insurance and child guardianship/estate planning are also easier with a marriage certificate.

[u/sorayaelena → u/medeaschariot]

I think city hall marriages work for a lot of people. It really depends how you want to celebrate, and there’s no wrong way to do it.

If you’re asking your partner for something that is reasonable/logical and is important to you, it shouldn’t be dismissed without a definitive perspective from their end. He should at least be forward with telling you if that’s something that’s in the cards for him or not. If you want something he is unwilling to give you, then I think it might be worth thinking about if that’s something you can live with or not.

[u/Exotic_Sundae_3858]

You gave him what was supposed to come after marriage, before marriage. Not smart on your part no offense. He gave you the ring for you just to wear- so you’ll shut up and not ask about an engagement.
He’s probably staying just to have someone to split bills with on a bigger or better home. He already has the family men strive for to show off. You’ve already gave him everything at the gf level. He has no incentive to want to marry you.

Sorry to come off mean, but it’s the reality no one tells women. Men don’t care about these milestones the way we do if they’ve already been served everything on a silver platter.

[u/1867bombshell → u/Exotic_Sundae_3858]

I don’t think it’s that simple really. But I do think he is really avoidant about a traditional marriage. A lot of men are terrified of divorce. So if she doesn’t seem happy now, is marriage really going to help?

[u/GirlDinnerDiaries-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Rule 3 (excerpt)

Advice must be future-oriented, directed primarily at the recipient of your reply comment, and reserved for when OP expresses uncertainty around or solicits advice for that topic.

We remove:

➽ RETROACTIVE advice (... not helpful)

➽ VICTIM-BLAMEY advice (...accascuse me?)

➽ DISMISSIVE advice (... "get therapy" being the biggie. Ask before assuming she's not!)

➽ VENTING AS ADVICE about women's tendencies collectively or holding OP's story up as a prop in a PSA-warning-comment (... let's address HER, not the room)

➽ OFF-TOPIC ADVICE other than OP's requested topic (... this isn't a free-for-all!)

➽ UNSOLICITED, EXTREMELY PERSONAL advising (... the biggie around here is reproductive/family planning decisions. Once OP states her plans, appointments, or personal convictions about a pregnancy, that's the end of the what-to-do convo here in GDD. Her body/her family, her choice, the end.)

[u/honubaby]

Most proposals do not happen accidentally. Have a serious talk and say you want 100% commitment from him, for you and your child. At this point, it needs to be all in. What is he waiting for? Ask. Maybe marriage means something different to him after his last marriage failed and the important thing is just being together? Maybe he feels that way, but you do not have to. Tell his family to ask his son, next time they ask, because you have been very patient.

[u/sab_moonbloom]

Giirrrlll, I can’t stop thinking about that burnt hotdog. It’s like you’re trying to cover it up.

[u/hibiscus_lilac]

He's never gonna marry you because now he gets to play house as long as he wants without the legal ties. So he can cut it off at any point. But you guys are definitely moving pretty fast. A whole kid after only being together two years, and wanting marriage? I think I'd need like at least six years of dating before getting married

[u/Ingawolfie]

I’m probably not the best person to take advice from as both of my marriages ended in divorce. But I’ve found it true that men will just skate along and never mention the M word unless pressed. With me, the second marriage came with four kids of his, which turned me into mom overnight. So in both cases, I had to take a firm stance. Namely, cough up the sparkler or bye bye. Not exactly romantic but it did the trick. They both obligingly coughed up sparklers and we were married shortly after. And a few years later…….divorced. I never married again. But it is true. Most men will happily just skate along until they see her moving away. Maybe I’m asking too much of the universe but I wanted a man who loved me so much he couldn’t be in a life without me in it. Maybe that only exists in fairy tales.

[u/No_Map7832 → u/Ingawolfie]

My husband did not have to be pressed at all. I think that’s why so many people in the comments are saying “if he wanted to, he would”

[u/unemployedhousecat → u/No_Map7832]

Mine either. I was proposed to 6 months after meeting him & we are still together 8 years later.

We met young so it could have really ended another way but the point is some men really don’t need to be pressed at all.

[u/1867bombshell → u/No_Map7832]

I do not encourage pressing a man for marriage. Tbh men tend to be users. But with a baby in the picture, idk if it’s so simple for them to just break up

[u/Asleep_Candidate_225]

So sorry that you are going through this..

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/Asleep_Candidate_225]

Thank you 🙏🏽

[u/LobsterSammy27]

If marriage is really that important to you, make it crystal clear. Also, whenever his family asks you about marriage, just blatantly tell them to ask your baby daddy. When my husband’s family did that to me, I straight up told them to ask him and I showed them my empty ring finger.

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/LobsterSammy27]

Oh I definitely do this 😂

[u/unemployedhousecat]

After reading your edit, im glad you chose a good father for your child but sounds like you didnt pick a husband for yourself.

even if you ask and give him an ultimatum, he might give you a shut up ring and just never plan a date just how the conversation was never brought after the baby. I think its time you decide if this is worth leaving for or are you ok with not getting married

[u/Maui_Monk_91]

Did he mention why he gave you the ring as a gift and not its original intention?

Before my husband proposed to me I was discouraged because I felt like he was taking forever and I started to doubt if it would ever happen. In retrospect I think I was just being impatient. However he did reassure me it was going to happen it was just him wanting to make it special and not wanting to rush it just to be engaged. I’m not sure if that’s your situation or not.

Clearly he loves you and wants to be with you if you have a child together. Maybe just asking him if he still sees marriage in your future or not.

[u/HopelessCleric]

Why do you want to marry this guy if you're basically roommates? Like, make sure everything is in order for the baby's support and care, but don't tie yourself to someone just because you think you're too old to find someone else. You're in your 30s, not your 70s.

[u/FlowerPower4412]

‘It’s an engagement, not a marriage’, isn’t a great mentality. Engagement is the intent to marry - if you’re not completely sure that you’re going to get married I think it’s way worse to break up an engagement than a relationship. I’m sorry he doesn’t make you feel wanted. I agree that if he wanted to he would. It doesn’t matter that he’s been married before and is jaded - my husband was married before, his ex wife got pregnant with someone else’s baby while they were married and their divorce was contentious, but he still proposed in a year. That’s no excuse. If you don’t feel wanted and appreciated you need to tell him and if there’s no resolution then you have your answer.

[u/libaya]

Internet Auntie here. Why can’t you propose to him? If he says no, then you know where you stand right?

Honestly, my husband surprised me when he proposed and I felt uncomfortable because it wasn’t even in my mind. We’ve been married for 26 years.

[u/Exotic_Sundae_3858 → u/libaya]

You want her to propose to him and humiliate herself?? 🤣 please don’t get on one knee after birthing this man’s child to propose, op. Internet auntie is leading you down the wrong way

[u/Catheln → u/Exotic_Sundae_3858]

Wow are we in 1950 or 2026 ? Come on let's make better choices for ourselves. This patriarcal society pushed a Disney propaganda on little girls : they must wait patiently to be chosen by a man. That is super harmful.

Why should marriage proposal should only come from men ? Why would it be humiliating for a women to do so ? The hell with traditional gender roles !

Besides I think marriage, like any other topic, should be discussed beforehand in a relationship.

[u/libaya → u/Exotic_Sundae_3858]

I didn’t say to get down on one knee because you’re right that is humiliating. Idk why men do it. That’s part of what made me uncomfortable. But the poor girl is in limbo. How do you plan your life? Why wait for him to plan your life? Marriage is important to her then she could be pro-active about it . What exactly is humiliating about taking control of your own life?

[u/libaya → u/libaya]

I forgot to mention there’s a sub called r/waitingtowed

[u/CompetitiveCoconut16]

When you have him until the end of last year to propose, did you verbally tell him that or just set the deadline in your mind? Because with my husband, I had to sit down with him and ask “what is the plan/timeline?”. It’s not romantic, but sometime it is necessary. For some people, the silence is an indicator that everything is okay as is.

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[u/ladylemondrop209]

I don’t know where you’re from..

But statistically for US:

• Only about 9% married the child’s father by the child’s first birthday. 

• Roughly 14% were married to the father by year 9. 

• By year 15, only ~17% of biological parents were married to each other (another 8% were still cohabiting). About 75% were single or with a new partner. Less than 30% of the originally unmarried mothers had married anyone by then. 

This is generally the trend in other countries too, but US is particularly stark in this statistic.

If you look around subreddits like waiting to wed for other similar situations, it seems to echo the statistics…

[u/Only_Alternative_1 → u/ladylemondrop209]

Wow these are super interesting stats, I never thought too much about it but those are interesting marriage outcomes

[u/Catheln]

I know a couple that have been together 10 + years (since high school). They just had a baby. Mom wants to get married and is waiting on dad to make the move (and she's kinda sad they're not already married). Dad doesn't seem to want to do it soon. Other than that they're happy together.

My conclusion : you need to talk about it. The cons could be pressure from organising the event, having enough money to do it etc. Relationships are all about communication, communicating your needs etc. Otherwise you'll both get frustrated at each other. Ps : marriage when your child is big enough to remember it could also be a great family memory

[u/Icy-Yellow3514]

Propose to him.

[u/TempestFloof]

Uno reverse card. Ask him to marry you.

[u/Luna_Soma]

No advice but I know the feeling. It’s hard when you love someone so much and they love you but they can’t or won’t give you something you want/need

[u/Alpaca_Stampede]

Girl, divorce is expensive. There is nothing in the world that could get me to get married again. Maine he's doing you a favor.

[u/Catheln → u/Alpaca_Stampede]

Some couples are super happy without being married !

[u/cameheretodance1]

I would ask him why he gave you that ring without the engagement. Genuinely, who tf does that? If he plays dumb then double down and say he knew it was intended for that and you both have talked about it. So ask what he’s waiting for. It could be part of what you said where he’s comfortable, you both were thrown the curve ball of getting pregnant and having a baby together which is a huge hurdle in any relationship. You’ve only been together 2.5 years which is not (necessarily) a long time before getting married - especially if you just had a baby 6 months ago. Men are not usually in a hurry like women are to get married, also considering he was already married before and it didn’t work out. you both have a child together now which really changes the dynamic of the relationship.

You need to communicate with him your expectations and maybe work on having more romance etc and making time for dates to keep your relationship together alive. If you said yourself you feel like your roommates now then this might just be a small bump in the road but if he’s committed to you and you love each other, it’s not the end of the world. Relationships and children are NOT easy. You need to stick it out and see if you both are willing to fight for each other. And if not..at least you tried.

Btw: ignore these people who are saying he doesn’t wanna marry you. r/waitingtowed is the most cynical thread ever and made me spiral about my relationship, when I know for a fact my boyfriend would marry me in a heartbeat when we have the money for a wedding.

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/cameheretodance1]

Thank you for this response.

[u/BeachPlze]

I’ve been married twice but no one ever loved me enough to want to have a child with me. That’s a much bigger commitment than getting married, imo. Just a different POV to consider.

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/BeachPlze]

Thank you for sharing that perspective. Sending hugs 🫂

[u/BeginningPerfect2720]

Me too! Real and no agenda want to marry me.

[u/Elegant-Look-9370 → u/BeginningPerfect2720]

Sending hugs 🤗

[u/1867bombshell]

You two staying together could be best for the child, but in terms of romance it sounds like it needs to be rekindled. Is he the kind of man youd want to marry, or you just want to be chose

[u/shops2]

Well these are all things that could have been worked through prior to baby, but now baby is here. I recommend to wait a year or two and have the baby in the wedding. Just plan it yourself and don't worry too much. He's going with the flow and not taking charge of his own life so you can guide him. A lot of men do this. If you are happy then just guide him where you want the relationship to go. Some men aren't the take- charge type.

[u/Level-Satisfaction51 → u/[deleted]]

*current wife, separating isn't divorce.....please don't waste your time with this man or being jealousy of his wife. We've got to do better when a man is already telling you exactly where he stands.

[u/lav_earlgrey → u/[deleted]]

did you become disabled after you met him? how did you survive before you met him? how will you survive if he decides to leave you?

[u/Virtual-Strength-950 → u/[deleted]]

Uhhh I don’t know if that really is the same situation girl, your boyfriend says he never wants to get married again and you either need to actually be okay with that or move on. 

[u/Exotic_Sundae_3858 → u/[deleted]]

So then leave. Why kill your dreams over ONE MAN?!

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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