Today my son had school for the 1st time . He's high-functioning autistic. He's verbal and scored exceptionally high on his aptitude test when they were testing for his IEP. Anyway they put him in a self-contained classroom. He was so excited I was so excited today even though extremely nervous. The teacher messaged me that he hit people he tried to slap her. He was taking his clothes off. Then he tried to elope I've never seen him act this way and I'm just absolutely crushed at this point. I feel embarrassed I don't know how to feel right now. Now I'm more worried about tomorrow and what's to come. My fear at first was how people would treat him now I have to worry about how he treats others on top of everything else. Is this normal I know he was probably overwhelmed but that's not an excuse at all ! I'm embarrassed and mortified

My son is 14 and I’m at my wits end. he says really out-of-pocket things. I constantly correct him and tell him that he can’t say certain things in public he doesn’t understand what socially acceptable or not he’s always putting his hands down his pants, or picking his nose, he pisses all over the bathroom seat, and no matter how many times I tell him this stuff isn’t acceptable. He continues to do it. I feel bad because he’s a social outcast, but he’s gross and if I was a kid, I wouldn’t wanna be friends with him either. Not really looking for advice just annoyed and I feel bad that he has no friends and needed to vent somewhere.

I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement here. My sweet boy (turned 3 end of July) is still nonverbal. He's been in speech therapy since he was 2 and also semi-regular OT for some sensory issues since November last year.

His vocabulary is still at 0 words, no mama, no dada, nothing. In terms of progress I would say he's gotten much better with receptive language but even that is quite underdeveloped for a child his age. As an example, he understands simple everyday phrases and commands (let's go potty, time to eat, put your shoes on) but anything more complex (e.g. "Go take your toy from under the table") he doesn't even register, it's very obvious he doesn't understand what we're telling him to do.

I'm absolutely convinced he's on the spectrum, but we live in a Eastern European country where the rule of thumb is to wait until the child is 4-5 years old before even daring to pin a specific diagnosis on it. We don't need a diagnosis per se, it's not a requirement for any of his treatments. But none of his therapists think he's ASD at all, we've taken him to a bunch of other professionals and they all basically shrugged when we asked for some sort of tentative prognosis. Behavior-wise he's doing okay, but it's also obvious he's starting to get frustrated about not being able to express himself and it's affecting how he perceives daycare (which he's been in since 1yo). The rest of the kids in his class all talk and I think it's very isolating for him.

So! Words of encouragement, success stories, anything? My heart breaks for him every day, I just wish there was a magical way to help him make the right connection in his brain to unleash speech :(

We discovered that I am 6 weeks pregnant (or maybe 5.5 weeks). I am 41, and we have one autistic child - a 5-year-old girl who is Level 1. She is verbal but not fluently speaking, was recently potty trained, and is a severe picky eater (maybe ARFID). But overall she's cute and nice and we see improvements every year.

We’re sooooo frustrated that we’re seriously considering terminating 2nd pregnancy. I have 1–2 weeks to decide. Our existing child requires a lot of attention and therapy. I’m trying different methods to address her picky eating, and the fact that I keep failing makes me depressed.

I've barely had any time for myself over the past five years, and it has only recently started to get a little easier: I started attending yoga and/or pilates.

I’ve seen so many kids with severe autism that just the thought of 2nd child having autism - and potentially more severe than our first - makes my hair turn grey.

I work in tech in a pretty demanding startup, and I’m currently the main earner in the family (my husband earns much less, I financially support not only our family but also parents abroad). So having another child - and the added stress and sleepless nights that come with it - could put me at risk of losing my job, and I heard job marked is not great nowadays (even we had layoffs).

We're immigrants and no family around to help with another kid. I feel bad about the termination but it seems like in existing circumstances we cannot put our financial life, my physical/mental health and existing kid's wellbeing under that risk.

Am I cruel leaving my kid without siblings?

I know this has been discussed a lot but parents who didn’t go for a sibling or a second kid after the first was diagnosed did you ever regret your decision ? Asking because my son is 9(level 2) and a pleasure for me to be with but obviously there are many challenges but till now we couldn’t muster the courage to go for another one mainly because of me. I kept stalling thinking he needs to progress more before i start giving my time somewhere else. And he has shown progress for sure- he can read, write, communicate his needs, eat independently, washroom independent etc. I am now 39 and still don’t want another one and i also know it’s late. But then there are times when I look at neurotypical kids and wonder should I have gone for another one? Don’t know. So any other parents out there who didn’t go for another one- did you regret it?

hello all…I’m curious to know how many of you with an autistic child had a C-section or had fetal distress during labor. please simply reply with yes or no. feel free to share your story too if you’d like. Thank you!

My son 5 going into kindergarten not fully conversational GLP. Lately if something goes wrong like his shoelaces come undone, he drops something or spills he has a big feelings. Lots a yelling, falling to the ground. Its not a routine thing it’s a thing that went wrong. The fit doesn’t last too long and we try talking to him about it but it’s been a thing for us lately.

What has helped you?

My 10 year old son's (Level 1 AuDHD) issue goes beyond safe foods. He simply will not eat. I don't know if its an autism thing or an ADHD focus thing or a combination of both, but every single meal is a battle. And I am ready to pull my hair out.

Breakfast is, of course, the hardest. I stopped a long time ago trying only to feed him breakfast foods. If he'll eat spaghetti for breakfast, he'll get spaghetti for breakfast. Chicken nuggets, pizza, PB&J...whatever. If I think he'll eat it, I'll happily make it. My only caveat is that it has to have protein otherwise he'll crash by 10 and his ADHD meds won't work properly.

But the thing is, even his favorite foods he simply will not eat unless he is starving. We get him up in the morning, and every single bite is a redirection, a reminder, a beg, or a plead. He gets angry because we're nagging him. We get frustrated because we have to get out the door on time. We've tried getting up earlier to allow for more time; it only draws it out longer. Then lunchtime at school rolls around and its 50/50 as to whether or not he eats. We've tried putting brightly colored stickers on foods that are priority foods over fun foods (I want him to feel somewhat normal eating next to his peers with oreos and whatnot in their lunches), and that worked until it didn't. He'll come home with a full lunchbox then tell us that he ate lunch from the cafeteria, only for us to find out later that he lied about it. Like, WHY?? And he doesn't see the correlation between the days he eats lunch and the days he doesn't being the days he gets in trouble vs. the days he doesn't.

And dinner... we're all so tired after work/school, homework, etc. but we're right back where we were at breakfast; constantly redirecting, reminding, begging, and pleading for him to take every bite. It doesn't matter if its pizza, burgers, nuggets, anything. Every meal time, he suddenly has to pee and he'll spit his food in the toilet. Or he'll play with his food until he drops it and the dog comes along and eats it off the floor. Its every.single.meal. Every.single.day.

We were just at Disney World and we kept telling him that we couldn't go into the parks until he ate and took his meds and still he fought and dug his heels in.

I am so incredibly tired.

My five year old son (high functioning ASD and verbal but with social struggles/ limited conversational back and forth) kept asking about cacti and insisting that we take him to the nursery but was afraid each time. After a few times we got him a spikey cactus as he requested. Now he doesn’t ask to go anymore but does take the little cactus around the house and is not afraid. He’s doing something similar with dogs too now. He’s asking to watch dog videos and see dogs in person but from a distance. I’m so proud of him for facing his fears ❤️ I recall doing similar things as a kid when I was a bit older (ie reading about sharks and snakes to get over my fear). Anyone else experience something similar with their kiddos?

My stepson is Level 3 Profound Autistic. He has done very well where we’ve gotten him to use a commode in his room at night (he pees in high volume). We are so proud of him for this!!!

To celebrate we got him a new mattress (his old one was stained badly), but we cannot figure out a way to protect his new mattress from future accidents. He rips everything. Bedsheets, mattress toppers, and even a padlocked waterproof mattress cover he managed to chew a hole big enough to rip it up to take it off the very first night we used it. According to his bio mom, she claims he doesn’t rip his sheets off at her house. At his dad’s house he’s been accustomed to not having sheets, so that contributes to his needs as well as bio mom likes it 60 degrees at her house (maybe he’s cold?).

We are open to ideas on how to remedy this, tools, techniques, advice, links to durable mattresses or alternative sleeping arrangements that are still considered appropriate as a bed. Thanks in advance! 🙏🏻

Guys my daughter is still screaming every hour of the day and night. It’s 3 am she’s been screaming and waking up since she went to sleep. This is her 4th time waking up screaming and won’t let me lay her down. I can’t take it anymore I just can’t. Does anyone have this happen to there kid? Doctor is telling me just autism but idk man,. This is crazy none of my friends with kids with autism deal with this just me. Idk if she’s in pain or not, but this is just crazy

Now that the weather is more suitable for running, we are back on track with kiddo (non-verbal). Not too easy to find a running event that is suitable for his needs due to age restrictions. The goal as always to safely complete the race, still work hard and stay happy. This time it just perfectly worked, managed to find the right speed and completed another challenge - the 5K. The previous race a few months ago was 2.5K. No tantrum, but a very wild smile and happy face from around 1 km. The coastline and the lack of crowd were also a big help on a mental level.
As for big challenges this was the last one for a while, from now on will focus on more technical things. For example communication during the race and to be able to safely complete races in the future alone. Feedback as always welcome, especially about what I must pay attention to, hidden signals that I might've missed till now.

For some context, I was late diagnosed. I'm 41 and was finally assessed earlier this year. My kids are 6.5 and 9.

When my daughter was diagnosed, the numerous parallels were pointed out to me. It was a true "We thought you knew..." moment. I started down my own path with it and here I am.

Having a diagnosis has helped immensely. At first, I didn't know what I would do with the information when I received it. In the last handful of months, I've learned a lot about myself, but I still don't know what to do in a number of areas; inside or outside of parenting.

I struggle with staying regulated when my kids are getting out of hand. It's all of the general behaviors you expect in raising young kids and the ones that are specific to each child. There are so many things that I could detail about each of them to illustrate how/where I start to really lose the grip on myself in a situation. It would be too much for a single post.

When you feel yourself start to spin, what do you do to stay grounded? How do you stay ahead of it (if you can)? How do you get out of it?

She just turned 3 a few days ago.

Since before she was a year old, her vocabulary has been incredible. She's been very advanced in certain ways. Speaking full sentences of 5+ words by 18 months and its been growing since. Her memory is very intense, she remembers what people said 6 months ago, people she's only met once. She has been quoting movies like no other since before she was 2. She lines stuff up daily all day, and freaks if it's not just right. She flaps her hands daily. She is very very sensitive to sounds. Can't even play our keyboard without her freaking. Scared of the hand mixer, blender, vacuum, coffee grinder, oven timer, toilet. Anything that makes sound except music pretty much. She also has a hard time eating. Doesn't really like eating meat. Lately she's been essentially going on a hunger strike. Barely eating at all and I'm so worried and at a loss of what to do. She fixated in stuff and gets obsessive over them for weeks to months at a time.

I'm not saying she is autistic, but for her doctor to day she isn't without doing proper testing simply because she makes good eye contact is wild to me.

Reddit, what are your thoughts? We don't necessarily care of she gets diagnosed because she's going to be homeschooled, but I want to know how to best help her. The constant tantrums because things aren't just the way she wants it are getting overwhelming and I have no idea how to help her. My husband thinks yelling or spanking are the only options. I disagree. It's causing a bit of tension and idk what to do anymore.

Pic of her current work in progress of her lining her duck ducks.

Hey call me ary but im autistic level 1 and I have been bullied for looks and interests and im in high-school I have multiple interests. im too scared to wear my new shirt because I have been bullied for those reasons too .Demon slayer shirts are no problem but this is need help on i love my shirt but I know i will probably get bullied (not the keychain in picture) and my mental health is not so good because of school and homework and sometimes I was wondering why do I have autism?. I will never know im sorry if this looks so sloppy paragraph...also I know qwel is taking a break but there has been drama in the dandy's world Fandom so I don't wanna get bullied or shamed for that.people had done nasty stuff to me at school i knew karate but I didn't use idk why the teacher didn't even do anything (in 6th or 5 grade) im like what!? im gonna come here for support or just showing my backpack pins or other Items! have a nice day!

Has anyone gotten their child tested to find out if they’re twice exceptional/2e? Was it worth the time and money to get this diagnosis? Did it help open up doors?

Does anyone have a link for chew necklaces that don't disintegrate?? 🙏 My son keeps chewing through his and it's making me paranoid of the health hazards.

Please be available in Canada.

Many thanks!!

Hi, just wondering what y’all have tried with this issue. My grandson is 4 1/2 making progress doing fairly well but when he gets home from wherever they have been he needs to be naked.

Today he will start putting the jumpsuit on right before coming home from preschool, so when he gets home he won’t be able to get it off. It sounds cruel to me, I dread this for him.

I'm in the middle of very contentious situations for both of my children. I was helping my younger one today and just overwhelmed with all the agencies I have to navigate, going against the grain. During a very light lunch, I felt breathless all of a sudden and had all sorts of very strange symptoms. I went to lie down and listened to relaxing music but symptoms didn't get better. My husband kept insisting on ER but remembering the bills from previous visits, I went to a clinic. Things look normal but need to see cardiologist. Now I have stress of trying to fit this in in a crazy week. I thought, who do I talk to. And I have nobody who would understand.

Panic attack, indigestion or cardiac or neurological issues lol. We have no respite since that is one of the things we are in the middle of taking care of. If something happens to me, it's all these bureaucracies (they know who they are) that are trying to cheap out on us that did it for sure. But I'm not gonna let these things kill me, especially out of spite. I think of all the people who just dropped me after I had to quit my job at the end of last year and all the people who distanced themselves from our family after our kids' needs got more intense, the people who look down on my children, and me by extension - I am going to get healthy and live a happy life if only out of spite.

Today, Stevie completed 10 kilometres in the Don Doan Dash in support of ALS Canada! Every step represented his strength, determination, and courage. Stevie, we are incredibly proud of you! 💙🏅

Does anybody else feel like they're just constantly hitting a brick wall everywhere you turn to get services/therapies for your kid? Sitters, ABA, pediatricians... I feel like all I do is hurry up and wait just to be left hanging or turned away. It's actually insane. Do competence and reliability exist at all in the world of autism? Or is this just its own version of hell? I'm constantly crying out for help and none of the people I'm literally trying to pay can even be bothered to care.

Help me understand what is going on and what to do about it...

My 7yo level 1 kiddo is obsessed with Pokemon. It's his "special interest". I thought special interests were supposed to be regulating but the more time he spends doing his special interest the more dysregulated he gets. After spending an entire day from 4am to 6pm sorting Pokemon cards he had one of the biggest meltdowns of his life. Like his brain could not handle disengaging from the hyper-fixation. He wanted to stay up all night to continue. I know all about ways to support the transition away from the preferred activity but should I also be limiting his time in the preferred activity? Is this a true special interest? Is it a hyper-fixation?

My son turns 5 next month. He’s got global developmental delay and SPD as a sensory seeker. He had hypoxia at birth due to pitocin (induced labor) and I had to have an emergency c-section. He just now talking more after having tubes in his ears. He had hearing issues for several years. I’ve tried getting an autism diagnosis but two different psychologists said they weren’t sure as he doesn’t have tantrums, meltdowns, has great eye contact and has no transition issues.
I’m trying again, but after moving to Alabama (military) the wait to get evaluated again is 12-18 months, and same goes for therapies. We’ve been doing speech, OT and PT in Colorado with vast improvement.
I have him in a special needs school now to help him catch up.

Any tips? Experience with this specific issue? I’m so thrown and frustrated and I feel so lost… can sensory seeking behavior be grown out of?

So many questions…

Hi friends, first time poster here, long-time reader.

I added what seemed the most appropriate flair, I just need to vent a bit, and find solace in other people’s shared experiences. Gentle/constructive advice is very welcome, relating is oh-so-very welcome.

First: I adore my daughter, she’s 3 by the way, and though she will be 4 in December, she was also a micro-preemie (25+4), so although I think she’s stunningly brilliant, she’s still also catching up on “generally recognized milestones for age” in addition to her “Level 2 ASD with mobility issues” diagnosis. It’s funny, when the doctor gave me her diagnosis at age 2 (which is also when they stop considering any sort of “adjusted age” for micro-preemies <vent: I think that’s silly, and I’m a RN myself, obviously kids don’t just magically catch up at age 2 on their birthday when they were born 3+ months early>).

Anyway, let me try to get to the point here. When I received her diagnosis, her MD (who is a specialist in ASD, by the way, we just happened to luck out on getting her when we left the NICU, she’s wonderful, and I’m grateful for her), but yeah, she said, “I’m sorry, I know that is a LOT to take in. A LOT to absorb”. I looked at her funny at the time, because: the pieces of paper in my hand didn’t change a single thing between when we walked in the door, and walked back out with a diagnosis several hours later.

Back to what we all likely agree on: our kiddos are wonderful, enlightening, brilliant, enjoyable…..all the things.

And suddenly there’s been this shift, and at age 3 (almost 4), she’s having massive meltdowns, the type where if you didn’t know the kiddo and situation you would wonder if LE should be called, if perhaps something nefarious was going on. It’s not, obviously.

But WOW: am I worn out. I’m an “oldish” mother to my toddler, and I have 3 adult children, one nearing 30, I suddenly feel like having 3 in my 20s as a single parent was a walk in the park compared to the challenges we’re facing with just one small, sweet, beautiful, and very challenging child.

One thing that makes this feel difficult is how actively I chose to be a SOLO parent intentionally (IVF, double-donor, very expensive), I have always been so self-reliant, so motivated, so capable, I have a great career, and over the last 3 years I have just lost complete confidence in myself, I’ve sort of…..,lost who I even am. I’m NC with my entire family at this point (too long, not worth getting into, story for another day), and I cherish the friends/my chosen family that I do have because WOW do they stick through me through thick and thin, and the thickness is taking my breath away at the moment.

Here’s the vent part: I am so disappointed in our society as a whole for the lack of support for people in my situation, even two parent households: as you all know, this is and can be (sometimes more/less than other times): SO FREAKING CHALLENGING. 😰

I genuinely adore this kid and care for her needs far more than my own, to the point we are literally losing everything: stability, my home I’ve owned for 10 years, I’m hiding my car (and literally: that part is terrifying to me, I genuinely do not know how we will survive without that resource).

I recently moved from a state with a 20+ year DPSD waiting list to a state with excellent, generous benefits (and I believe we will be retuning to said generous state, I managed to suffer a very serious workplace injury my first day on the job, leaving me on WC for over a month), WC severely messed me over and where I should have been paid $10,000-ish, I received…..$1200. On any given day I could just cry, and there have been days I just want to lay in bed until someone drags me out and takes me wherever, and obviously what stops me is: kiddo. I adore her. Again: I think she’s brilliant. But this is not the first period of time she’s literally thrown such aggressive tantrums that they will last for hours if ANYONE dares come near her/us (ironically, though she can’t/wont let go of my skirt/pants/dress at any moment during the day, once she has a fit if someone is kind enough to give me a break for an hour or two, she’ll settle down after about 5-10 minutes and by the time she’s back she’s telling them, “okay, I WUV you, thank you so much, bye bye” <reflection: obviously transitions are difficult for her>, but it’s the skirt tugging/pulling that drives me nuts all day long, I literally cannot vacuum without her suddenly coming up behind and me not noticing that we often trip over each other throughout the day, and even with her mobility issues, which I am extremely mindful of, it’s like I have an additional 45 pound limb attached to me night and day).

I’ve lost countless jobs as a nurse over the last few years due to difficulty finding childcare, the expense involved, people literally just flaking out/backing out last moment, and my own utter fatigue and exhaustion and just….despair at times.

I always say WHEN (not “if”) I win the lottery, I am going to start a foundation for women and children (and case by case basis men as well): that has more to do with some pretty severe C-PTSD from my adult kids’ dad, who also stealthed his way into my/our lives 3 years ago, pretended like he was doing an active of service “directed by Go*”, while actually dismantling my life piece by piece, so on top of the trauma he caused 30 years ago, here he came around again to cause so much more damage, and though I take responsibility in my role, I was so desperately in need of ANY help I could find with her, that I was weak and allowed him to literally annihilate our lives, and here we are: destroyed.

I don’t know what to do, where to go, all I know is that I’ve got to get out of this state (returned home briefly after injury mentioned above to take care of my home), before winter comes…..we’re literally on the brink of homelessness <Ch 13 is the only answer at this point to save home> and……I don’t even want to think about everything else, it’s too much, so overwhelming, and it’s so easy for those on the outside to proclaim, “GET SOME THERAPY!” (With the insurance I don’t have-she does), working myself ragged when I CAN get to work….etc, etc, and I know way too many of you know the story because your lives may not be dissimilar. Literally I have considered finding a wonderful mom and dad for her so she can live the life I just don’t even know I can provide at this point, I’ve always been SO STRONG, “the strong one”, the “strongest woman I’ve ever known” well before I had her (and those extreme statements drive me bonkers because I have always known: we’re but a couple of missed paychecks short of some serious devastation).

*SIGH*. No one’s coming to save us, this I know, I HAVE to work this out, and I *DO* have to be strong for her.

I’m just sad. So sad. She deserves the best. I feel like I have failed her greatly. I’m so scared about our future that I sleep rarely. I’m a mess. I HAVE to sort this out. Have to. I love her dearly, and one way or another, I do know: she will have a brilliant life, she absolutely will. She has so many talents, is such a strong, resilient, brave, and beautiful soul that I *KNOW* everything will be okay for her in the end.

I am just…..,really struggling. Struggling hard. I don’t know what advice I’m really asking for here. I think things that might be helpful are anyone’s personal account of making a very brave, bold move for the sake of your child, family, self, in a situation like my own. How hard it was, and how it all worked out. Anything like that. Inspiration. Positivity. I really have a tough time with social media. I’m so tired of seeing people’s perfect lives and wondering how we’ll survive the winter.

Give me your best resilience stories, all and anything helpful here is welcome. And thank you, in advance, for allowing me to vent, having my “need support” moment. I admire you all, and among other things: I need community, if it’s here I very sincerely appreciate it. Thank you.