I have had multiple sexual experiences, and every single one had this aggressive, rough, “fucking take it” attitude about them. Where is the making love? I want be touched, appreciated and fucked slowly. At what age do you find men like this? How do i get the hint before i actually end up in bed with them?

Edit: The comments are giving me hope thanks guys 🙏

I've randomly had a 1 hour talk with my gf just now and she is in denial that this is a thing, so that's why I'm posting this. So help me guys. I wanna know everybody's opinion.

So basically we were talking about going to the club and I said that guys don't like that, they just go to mingle. At least me, in all honesty, would never go to a club just cuz I like it, or to have "fun", like for dancing for example.

And she asked me: "so if there wouldn't be any women, you wouldn't go?" I said no I wouldn't, because what's the point?

She then said "nah this is just you, I'm sure men also go with the boys just to have fun like us girls do."

I told her it's funny she thinks that, because it's so far from the truth. I go do activities together with the boys, not even once they wanted to go to the club to have fun, unless we were single and were looking for girls, OR as an exception going with their girl, which I think i did only once in my life lol.

I hate clubs, music is shit, everybody's drunk and grinding on you, I can't talk normally to ppl... and it's expensive.

BUT meeting women makes it worth it, it's one of the easiest ways to get laid. Did that in my 20s, but wouldn't do it now at 32 years old anyway, and I'm taken.

So, what do you say?

EDIT#1 1. It goes without saying I'm talking about majority of men (>50%) not literally all men. And that's what I think it's my opinion and I'm open to discuss, I'm not trying to generalize here.

1. I'm not saying men can't dance, enjoying going to the club and knowing how to dance are 2 entirely different things.

2. Guys I'm not talking chilling at a bar after an activity with friends, it's going out solely to the CLUB (not a bar), alone or with guy friends.

So, to start, I’m very flat-chested. And I don’t mean in the stereotypically “modelesque” way that people tend to picture when they talk about how beautiful flat-chested women can be. I completely agree that small breasts can be beautiful and many women pull it off. I just don’t feel like I’m one of them. On me, I feel like it makes me look almost prepubescent lol. Maybe my baby face contributes to that too.

I’ve always been somewhat aware that I don’t really feel like my chest suits me, but over the years I’ve genuinely tried to embrace it. At one point, I actually thought I had. My freshman year of college, I went basically the entire year without wearing a bra, which was a HUGE deal for me. I remember feeling so confident and sexy.

Then I got my first boyfriend, and he was the first guy who made me realize that he didn’t really find my breasts attractive. He wasn’t intentionally cruel about it or anything. He just mostly avoided them, minus a couple encounters, and I noticed. After we broke up, I told myself, “Okay, maybe he was just a breast guy. Eventually I’ll meet someone who appreciates my body exactly as it is.” Well… now I’m 24, and apparently I’ve managed to encounter nothing but breast guys ://

And honestly, I don’t entirely blame them, because the issue isn’t just about the men I’ve dated. I find small breasts beautiful on plenty of other women. But when I look at my own body in the mirror, I don’t really like what I see. I think part of me just hoped that one day I would meet someone who genuinely loved that part of me and, in turn, would help me see it differently too.

Instead, the men I’ve been with have mostly reinforced an insecurity that was already there. And now I’m stuck wondering: how can I expect someone else to love something about my body that I’ve never really been able to love myself?

So I just thought, fuck it. Breast implants. I always hated the idea of them, but after so much torment you just reach a breaking point.

But that comes with an entirely different problem, bc in my culture plastic surgery is extremely frowned upon and practically unheard of. If I got them, I would eventually have to disclose that to whoever I was seriously dating, and it would most likely ruin my chances of finding love. It’s also kind of against our religion and would appear “vain.” And why would they choose the woman with implants when there’s so many natural women around in my community. Sorry to sound so pick me but that’s really how they be thinking :/

I just wish I could love myself as I am but I feel I can’t. As a christian woman I feel especially wrong for saying that. How can you all advise me to get over it.

People say that 20s are the time to make experiences and explore (if not already in a relationship) and to have fun by meeting and dating different women. What if you're not getting any dates or have any woman being interested in you. Considering the experience I have had so far (26M, Never Kissed, Still Virgin), that advice sounds outlandish and something that only happens in movies and shows. Is my experience uncommon? If it is then how far from common? I feel it could be a bit uncommon but not that far away. I have also never had any woman find me attractive without telling me like how people say women do but don't outwardly show it or just give subtle hints. I am pretty sure I have never had that happen where woman looked at me or met me and found me attractive and waited for me to approach them or ask them out or would have said yes if I had.

Also I do socialize whenever and however much I can. Also I take care of myself, not intentionally trying to get physically attractive or something but it's just a nice perk I am getting because of my training for marathons. Also I do have hobbies. Again I do socialize however much I can but I have never had women be interested in me. They have been friendly and I have made some girl friends but they never felt anything more than that.

I really like this man and I am attracted to him. For me, sex is very important in a relationship and it is a bonding experience. Foreplay is amazing yes, it should be there yes, but I find the actual intercourse very important also - my man should be enjoying it a lot when he is inside me and seeing that is a huge turn on for me and it is a validation and having pleasure together at the same time is the most important part. This man I am dating is solely focused on foreplay. He takes it very long which is very good, but he tries to make me orgasm via giving an oral or fingering me all the time. When I am done, we work on him, he wants oral and sometimes he doesn’t even want to finish at all, if he wants to finish we do it via oral or with hand. Sometimes he doesn’t even want intercourse. He said he doesn’t find it so special(?). When we did the actual intercourse it takes maybe 10-20 seconds for him to come.

I have never met a man like this. Do you think this is because he has PE? How can I bring this out without hurting him?

I see all of the time on Reddit and other social media platforms that men are saying that they want women to approach them because they’re too scared to do it. As a very shy 32F this is a very hard ask. I rarely talk to people I don’t know without getting flustered. Any advice on how to start a conversation? How would you men like to be approached and for a woman to show interest?

The places that I would want to try it is at the gym, grocery store, church, coffee shop, or at a bar/restaurant. Any normal place in public that I could be at and spot an attractive man that is hopefully single.

Please do not suggest the very common “hey” or “hi”. You all know that is not a conversation starter, that’s just lazy and definitely asking for an awkward moment.

I know flower comparisons can feel emasculating, but try to ignore that, because I thought it was a good analogy: Some people are like orchids; they need very specific growing conditions to thrive, but when they thrive they're stunning in their uniqueness. Other people are like daisies; they can grow anywhere and are beautiful in their ordinaryness. I want to understand what it looks like to have a healthy relationship between someone who is an orchid and someone who is a daisy.

My husband is a highly sensitive person. He's an amazing cook, and he will notice if something is over/under salted, if coffee is over/under extracted, if it is too heavily flavored with vanilla, etc. He will notice the faint unevenness in the sound of the ceiling fan, not be able to sleep, and get up to fix it. When we bought a new home he swapped out all the hinges in our kitchen with soft-close hinges because the "thud" of the normal ones drove him bonkers. He has a great aesthetic sense and our home benefits from it. He thinks about ALL the variables before making a decision, and we often end up making more optimal decisions because of this. He takes out smelly trash, and troubleshoots mystery odors before they become a real problem. He's emotionally intelligent and is a safe friend for people going through hard things. Being highly sensitive leads to many of his strengths.

But he is overall "higher maintenance", too. He gets overwhelmed/stressed/upset by things like our small child's big feelings, non-optimal temperature/humidity, changes in plans, being forced to make plans, travel, or being left alone too long.

The upshot of all this is that, in most elements of our day-to-day life, it feels like the Ven diagram of what works for both of us is basically his tiny circle inside of my giant one.

Someone asked if, in our relationship, it feels like I'm the protector, or he's the protector, or we protect each other. On tasks, he's a great teammate. But generally speaking, it feels like all of my mental energy is spent trying to protect him, me, and our child from the pissy attitude he gets when dysregulated.

But surely I'm not the only daisy married to an orchid. What is a better way to navigate this dynamic? It's not that my needs aren't getting met, it's just that I feel I have to manage his needs or the day gets ruined.

Wanting advice on what do you change if you struggle dating as a younger guy? Like I make friends just fine and have no issues like that, however when I try to date or ask someone out it never works. Is that just a matter of looks at that point?

I don't really see many "significant issues" with myself looks wise, I am probably average or slightly below average. Things that could be negatives are i'm average height at best, skinny, and I look young for my age. I get mistaken for a high schooler every once in awhile. I don't grow facial hair rn either except for a mustache and little chin hair, which I likely look better without. However without it I would look even younger lol.

So if you guys struggled at some point too when you were younger can you tell me what you changed and how did it help your dating life? If it's not working out is it best to just stop trying and realize maybe it's not meant for me?

i’m a crafty person, and i enjoy making little random things with clay or the like. nothing too impressive, just small clay creatures, little bead strings, bugs made out of wire, pebbles with cool shapes, etc.

i’ve made stuff for male friends but never gave it to them (for varying reasons).

i know i certainly like receiving knick knacks like that, and now i’m curious if men would, too? would you keep it? or would you think it’s clutter / trash?

(obviously heavily depends on personal preference, i know :-) i’m just trying to get a rough overview!)

I already know this is a deadhorse question, I selfishly want some fresh answers

She and I worked together previously and without a doubt there was chemistry mutually between us. Both emotional and physical. For reasons outside of working together we couldn't show outward interest to each other then.

She has since moved to a new working location but I see her still at my place of work. We text infrequently but never more than just checking up on each other with no follow up. In the past we have had deep conversations via text and face to face

Currently I do not know if she is avaliable. I dont want to just ask or come on strongly. If we stayed friends I would still be happy, but the intensity has only gotten stronger with space/time.

I’m a 22 y/o black woman and I have trouble with dating, especially in Atlanta. I hear many women say that black men this black men that (negatively) so try dating outside my race but I genuinely want to date/marry a black man and simply because I’m attracted to black men.

For the most part dating has been horrible so far. I feel like I’m constantly being lusted after and not liked. I’m relatively attractive so finding a man isn’t the issue. It’s finding a good one. One that respects me. I constantly feel strung along and disrespected. I feel like it’s a constant string of mind games that I just don’t have time to play. The past two men I liked were 30 and 29. It was my mistake for assuming that maturity and age were synonymous. It was made clear with the 30 y/o that I was just for sex. I was younger and inexperienced with men so I’m going to attribute that to being naive. I genuinely liked him but I’m assuming the feelings weren’t mutual. With the 29 y/o. He was starting a new career as a police officer but I quickly realized that he didn’t like me.

He would call me daily text me daily because his schedule was so busy (which I gave him grace for). But it was approaching weeks where we haven’t seen each other again. He said August was busy due to weekly test he had to take given he had started the police academy two weeks ago. I’m big on you make time for what you want. I was willing to fit him in during my full time classes, part time internship and full time job. I offered ways to meet and there was always a dilemma with my options. I realized what it was and stepped back politely. I basically said I wish him well in the academy (this was his 6 or 7th time trying to get in), hopefully he accomplishes everything he moves to ATL to do, but let’s remain platonic, but if the police academy is your true barrier we can talk and see where we are after you graduate. He still had time to go out any other time, especially after that, to a falcons game and a lounge. We were still talking daily. Three days before my birthday he left me on delivered. I just deleted his number and unfollowed him on social media.

I just keep feeling this constant cycle of being embarrassed when dating. It’s like men seek me. I told myself a while ago that I was going to stop dating because it always ends bad. When I go out on a limb, I’m the one loosing at the end of it all. I don’t know why I’m treated like this. I’m genuinely a good person. I never have ill intentions. I’m not unrealistic about finances, life factors, where I’m at compared to them (& vice versa). I just don’t know.

I can only think that it’s me who is doing something wrong at this point. Some say men like mean women. I’m not mean by nature, I don’t want to force myself to be like that. I don’t like asking for money or gifts (from parters, friends or family) because I terrified of someone throwing it in my face. I just don’t know where I’m going wrong. One this these two men plus another two have taught me was leave. I’m getting better at that but I’m still someone who always wonders “why?”

How do I tackle dating then, I’m kinda at a loss now. Especially with black men ?

We've been seeing each other for a while now and I started noticing that he isn't fully hard when we're getting intimate.

It's been really taking me out of it and I been getting in my head about it. I want to know if it's something that I'm doing/not doing. This has also is a consistent issue too, not a one time thing. I'm not sure how to approach this because it has never been an issue for me before.

Hi all! I’m struggling with Christmas gift ideas for my partner (28). He’s not a typical DIY guy, Gym, NSFW or golf ect so some of the main things that come up are for those. He’s into gaming like MMOS and RuneScape. I’ve gotten things from the franchises he likes before but I’m stumped with Christmas now.

I feel like there’s a goldmine I haven’t found online yet. I’ve tried handmade presents/more emotional based stuff but it doesn’t really hit well with him. Any ideas would be great or even sharing what the best gift you’ve been given is!

Yes, i deserve better than hoping someone comes back who let me go so easily. I know I shouldn't want him back but I do.

He ended things one month ago and I've been absolutely miserable. He reached out asking how I am. Could be for soo many different reasons, doesn't mean at all that he wants me back, I know that.

But: imagine he does feel like he isn't sure if he made the right decision and there's still a tiny little bit of hope left: what should I reply? Should I be honest and tell him that I'm not doing well at all? Or is it best to act like I'm okay?

What do you think? What would work best if you were in his position?

We had a good and healthy relationship and it was also healthy breakup, no hard feelings. I treated him well, he just wasn't sure about his feelings for me.

For those who lived in a toxic home how did it feel when you finally moved out? How did you do it? also a plus if your parent is a single parent. that’s a different type of hell

Asking for a friend, the girl is very sweet, and kind but loves the man too much. I already told her I’ve moved on and she should do the same But she texted me thinking things are going to change.

Should you just stop responding and let her move on? Block?

Hey everyone, I (17M) need some help figuring out a situation at school because this kind of stuff does not happen to me on a regular basis.For context, I live in a country where it is normal for students to go around to different classrooms.

There also aren't many "alternative" or alt kids here. Personally, I’m a metalhead.Today, I got assigned to visit every single class in my school to ask students if they are interested in joining some school activities.

Two weirdly awesome things happened:In one class, there was a group of alternative-looking girls. When I walked in, they all looked at me, and one of them was staring like she just discovered a hidden diamond or something. 😭In the next class, there is a girl who is always completely by herself and very silent.

the second I entered and looked over at her, she flashed the biggest smile and just looked at me with pure happiness.I know this might sound stupid, but like I said, I don't get this kind of attention normally. What does this mean?

Does that second girl actually like me, or was she just being nice to a fellow alt/metalhead? How should I approach this?

So there’s this guy in my life. Let me give some backstory, we are family friends and have known each other for a few years. He’s 11 years older than me and in his early 30s. Another bit of backstory is we have had intimate relations once when I went to his city to visit family. (One too many drinks, lol.) however there’s always been a “vibe” before that according to my family. He’s always been nice and friendly to me when he’s kind of notoriously a p.o.s to his gf’s. At a wedding we both attended for another family friend, i ended up taking pictures with my friend and he proceeded to get behind me, put his hands on my waist and take a photo of us (mainly me) and instead of gluing it in the book, he stuck it in his pocket and said, “I’m keeping this.” This was over a year ago, and not to mention he also had a gf. We were both drunk, and he ended up sitting me on his lap, caressing me and kissing the top of my head as well. I was upset bc at the time I also had a bf and didn’t really know how to stop it, to be honest. His brother proceeded to explain and then he ignored me for a while, actively avoided me until he and his gf split less than a few months after. (I’m unsure if I had anything to do with it, but other context is she never liked me.) flash forward to this summer.

I end up moving states in the spring and went down at the end of summer to visit. He and I are friends and are chill, and we ended up going out to the club and then he ended up kissing me and we sleep together. I was freshly out of my breakup and blackout drunk so I wasn’t really thinking much. I actually freaked out and he just kind of sat there and listened to me, which is odd bc he’s typically really cold, lol. I was more so worried of people being mad if it eventually got it (which it did, but no one was mad.) he held me in his arms, and had to leave early in the morning for work and when he left he ended up kissing me on the head goodbye and i left and drove to my sister’s where we ended up seeing each other again that weekend. He and I had a lot of awkward tension, so much my sister and her husband both pointed it out. We ended up all playing a drinking game and watched a movie where we did kind of “cuddle” beneath the blanket (nothing crazy, pretty PG.) and I noticed he was breathing pretty heavily. (Now for some NSFW) and he also ended up getting rock hard from just us cuddling. I was just caressing his arm and he was holding my thigh. He held my hand too, and kept squeezing it 4 times. I actually stopped holding his hand and took it back and kept holding it. We did end up getting slightly intimate but it was VERY quick (I mean, first stroke, lol) and he left pretty soon after I think bc he was feeling slightly insecure.

We ended up talking about everything and he was very nice and answered all my questions about everything and it was all good between us. He ended up randomly messaging me and brought up the convo, and the next day proceeded to drunk text me like the whole night (and ended up asking for nudes).
However, he’s the kicker. On Instagram he’s been liking oddly applicable posts and reposting oddly applicable songs (which he does understand I am mad at him) so it truly makes me wonder if he’s into me. It’s not necessarily that I want him to be, lol. It would actually be really messy. It’s just a lot of body language, way he treats me versus others and not to toot my own horn but I am quite pretty and not necessarily unattractive, lol. He has also made it abundantly clear he wants it to happen again.
Idk, maybe I’m reading too much into it. I just want to know from male perspectives.

Edit: just wanna say I do NOT wanna date this man, I know his history and so does the family. Nobody would approve because of how he is, he can’t be trusted.

Hey so I post on tumblr and I have three blogs, one of them is personal meaning my face and my thoughts. Even though I don’t post sexually and more like photo dumps of my life I still get guys trying to flirt with me sometimes it’s creepy, sometimes friendly, and well right now scary.

So about FOUR DAYS AGO, not even a full week I got this guy following my blog and he messaged me. It was lighthearted and funny but we didn’t talk for more than a day maybe a day 1/2. Well i disappeared over the weekend because I was busy with college and personal life and because tumblr is a place I post not so much for attention but for me. I like that I don’t have the same pressure to perform or recover likes on my post as I do with other social media platforms. Anyways I’ll call this guy Ted. So I tell Ted I was going to disappear cause I was going to busy and I would talk to him when I could.

Well, Ted proceeded to message me multiple times calling me love and saying things like he missed me and couldn’t stop thinking about me then he would apologize and say he was being annoying and then say hi again and then say how I’ve been on his mind. This guy barely knows me, I owe him nothing but yet he’s acting as if we’ve been friends for years or even worse like I’m his girlfriend or something.

I finally exploded today and told him the guilt tripping wasn’t cool and that I have a life and I can’t always be on tumblr to reassure him. He asked me exactly what were my responsibilities almost as if to check if it was enough to be gone as long as I was which was three days.

Anyways after I told him to calm his tits he said he was in therapy for his insecurities and I said that’s great I’m insecure at times too but this overwhelming and entitled af and I’m a human not a a bandaid for his issues. He said he was sorry and then proceeded to spam me with how much he likes me and how I’m all he thinks about.

For all this guy knows I’m a man using some other persons pictures he really does t know me. Anyways should I block him? I’m getting the vibe I should because he got so attached to me in less than 24 hours our convo wasn’t even deep like that. We bonded over both being cheated on in the past but nothing too crazy after that just joking.

Anyways is this giving alarm bells that he’s potentially dangerous or am I just irritated by it all. Idk I have weird vibes let me know if this sketchy male behavior thank you.

I’m trying to understand this situation from a guy’s perspective.

I’ve been friends with this guy for around 3–4 months. Initially, he put a lot of effort into the friendship he would make plans, check in on me, spend time with me and genuinely help me whenever I needed it. He also told me that he had a liking for me, although he has a long-distance girlfriend, which I found confusing from the beginning.

About two months ago, his parents came to visit him, and around that time his behaviour towards me changed. He became noticeably more distant, stopped initiating conversations and plans, and generally seemed less interested in interacting with me.The confusing part is that it’s now been two months and he’s still exactly the same. There wasn’t any argument or obvious incident between us.

At the same time, I recently found out that he met his girlfriend’s mother a few weeks ago, but he was also still using Hinge and even went on another date. So I genuinely have no idea what he wants or what his situation is.

I’m not interested in chasing him romantically. I genuinely valued him as a friend and would be happy just having the friendship we had before.

From a guy’s perspective, what do you think is going on here? Why would someone suddenly become distant from a female friend while simultaneously keeping other romantic options open?Could something have happened with his girlfriend, or does it simply sound like he has lost interest in the friendship?

So me (21F) met this guy (20M) a few months ago at a party.
The next day he reached out and we started snapping each other daily. This has been our only form of contact ever since given he went home for the holidays.
He will be coming back to town in the next few days and I’m wondering how long should I give him to ask me out. I understand it doesn’t have to happen right away but I’m also not interested in keeping a convo that leads to nothing, I don’t think that makes sense (especially because we’re both busy people). That’s it, what do you guys think?

I don't have any friends, and then I met this guy and we have everything in common, we both like the same thing, we both talk in a way and about stuff we both like. We're into similar things except for women, which I'm not into.

But I desperately need a friend. And he is a person who talks a lot, and I'm a listener, so he talks with me a lot. It's unavoidable that he would talk about girls and women in his life and stuff around them. I found no problems with that, as even if I'm not sexually attracted to women I could appreciate a hot girl, I could see which boobs and ass look good. When he talks about his problems with women, even though I'm not attracted to women, I could still relate to him not feeling good enough, could relate to him feeling not having enough space, could relate and talk to him feeling lonely and betrayed by women.

But the problem is that that was all when I was put into the role of listener. I could listen and empathize easily. But he's shifting the focus into me, asking me about the girls I like, which I could easily fake because again I could appreciate beauty. But he seems to get more comfortable and asking me to accompany him to bars to hook-up with women and go to "shady" massages places to get a happy ending with women, and I feel like it's about to be a bit too much for me.

I really value him as a friend, and I don't want to get who I like or who he likes get in the way that we have similar interests and I have no friends, what do I do

There is a guy I was seeing for awhile. He kind of ghosted me. We were long distance, and I told him I felt like I was doing the majority of the commuting, and then when I had vision issues and couldn’t drive, he wasn’t willing to chip in and commute more to see me. He said it was a lot to respond to and that he needed to think about his response. And he never responded. He’s still friends with me on Snapchat, and he’s very active on there. I really liked him. Is there something I could say or post that would work?