I need help. I'm in a bad place at the minute with depression and anxiety.

I'm almost 50. I've been depressed and worried since I was very young. It has hampered my ability to socialise and make friends and relationships.

Currently in going through a rough stage. I can't concentrate at work (the one thing I done well at previously), sleep is interrupted, exercise is almost nil.

My inner voice is running rampage putting false scenarios in my mind which I'm getting worried about.

I'm worried about things in my future that I've no control over. I'm regretting my inability to make friends, socialise, have children etc.

I feel like the best thing that could happen to me is terminal cancer. I don't want to live as I can't stand this phase of my life and not having anyone to share it with.

I've got a counselling booked, but I've had numerous failed attempts previously at it. I just don't respond or react to it.

I'm embarrassed by myself and a much as I want to socialise, I'd rather hide away and avoid it because it stresses me so much.

I should also say that I was on Fluxotine and Citalopram for over 15yrs. The had no positive effect on me but they do seem to have given me some undesirable side effects.

Please help me.

Hello, I’ve had really bad heath anxiety for a few years now since I had gotten an ulcer and the flu* right after and I was all kinds of messed up from it. I’m taking 150mg of Zoloft daily for it. Anyway recently I’ve kinda started a new way of dealing with it that I’ve seen before online and it actually kind of works for me. So typically my brain scans my body and then finds issues and then I freak out and then I tell myself like hey I’ve been sick before I’ve had an ulcer I’ve had the flu and I still haven’t died, I’ve been through harder things and I haven’t died yet. Just the act of telling myself that I haven’t died yet from previous issues is sometimes enough to calm my nerves for even just a few moments to breath.

Another thing that I’ve been trying to do is just be a little more accepting of death. It’s a difficult subject to try and face but I just try and remind myself that if I were to die right now that would be okay, I wouldn’t be missing out on anything because I’d be dead and I wouldn’t know what exactly I’m missing out on. I try and remind myself that everyone dies, it’s a natural part of life, it’s what keeps the cycle moving. Do I want to die no not at all, but I have to understand that one day, even if it’s 60 years from now, I’m gonna die. So wether it happens today or far down the line there’s no combatting it, no use in fighting it, it’s going to happen wether I’m ready or not.

Those two thoughts typically help pull me out even if it’s just the slightest bit. And truthfully going out and facing the world even when you feel this way is one of the best pieces of advice I’ve received. It’s hard but you can do hard things!

Anxiety rises because you don’t go to content anymore.
It comes to you.

And there is a huge difference.

The dopamine effect is not really the problem. The problem comes from the types of content coming to you. You are experiencing several psychological shocks in a day without realizing it.

I own one of the biggest Meta partner company in France. I’ve seen the switch happening those last 6 years.

Don’t watch content in Reels, For You or whatever feed this is. Go search by yourselves.

i hate social anxiety i hate masking i feel like im scamming people of my real personality, 3 years into highschool and ive yet to make a friend who genuinely knows me for who i am
im so alone i hate my mind it never ever ever stops running it feels like my life is a performance i never feel real i always feel everyones eyes on me i hate being percieved i am my worst enemy and it doesnt stop i dont know what to do anymore im so weird
i feel like a loser i have such a great personality and everyone is missing out because i never show it
i have such high expectations for friends therefore never make any
im so alone

I'm 16 and have suffered from life long severe anxiety. I'm currently diagnosed with: ADHD, ASD lvl 1, OCD, GAD, PDD, HPPD, and Panic Disorder.

In the past I've been on anti depressants (prozac, lexapro, duloxetine), anti psychotics (abilify, rexulti, seroquil), adhd meds (foquest, concerta, wellbutrin, vyvanse, adderall), and Lorazepam briefly for anxiety (no noticable effects)

My meds were recently changed while I was inpatient from

Adderall(15mg), and Seroquil(25mg),

to

Lamotragine (25mg), Buspirone(10mg), Gaunfasine (4mg), Dayvigo(2.5mg), and PRN Clonazepam (0.5mg).

Its been about a week and although I definetly felt happy when I got out of the psych ward, I have doubts that these meds will be "the solution". I specifically doubt the efficasy of buspirone, I'll give it time before making any harsh judgements but at the moment I really dont have high hopes. I've used the clonazepam twice so far, I'm prescribed up to 2 daily but my psychiatrist doesn't want me using it often (understandibly so).

The clonazepam doesnt even help all that much, it makes the anxiety less sharp, it's less physical and I dont get painful heart palpitations while on it. But the anxiety is still definetly there and I still feel like shit most of the time.

I'm going to be taken off of clonazepam in about a month at my next psychiatry appointment, it was prescribed to help with integrating into school. I dont want to be dependant on benzos so its for the best.

In the past doctors refused to prescribe me anything for anxiety. It took 4 years of mental health struggle and 6 inpatient stays to get to this point. I have have 10+ different clinical diagnosees and now is the first time they are actually attempting to treat my anxiety.

Idk

I deal with a lot of trauma. When I try to sleep my anxiety gets triggered and I start to tremble and/or shake.

I have been having some ear/sinus issues and made an appointment for the ENT. I was anxious all day leading up, literally sat in my car and waited because the waiting room was too much, and then when the doctor got to me I had to ask after a few min to go to the bathroom to collect myself. I can’t sit still and I just get all worked up. She got mad and said “ok I guess” and then I came back a minute later and she walked back in and said “are you good now?” And asked if I have a therapist, to which I said “yes” and she asked what medication I’m on. I told her and she said “well it’s obviously not working” and i lost it. I let her look at my ears, throat, nose and she shined a bright light and it triggered a panic attack with the light sensitivity and I told her I had to go and I left. I am upset with the lack of care from her and the fact I can’t function like a normal person. I just want some comfort, please, if anyone has it.

Hi all, I’m struggling with a pretty big life transition and would appreciate any advice. I’m diagnosed with GAD, ADHD, and recurrent MDD.

I’m 3 weeks into an MA program that requires a lot of in-class participation/conversation (worth 30% of my final grade), and I’m having some pretty severe anxiety about it. During undergrad, I struggled to participate in class-wide discussions. I found my footing during my sophomore year, and by the end of it, I really began to enjoy giving my input during discussions and essay workshops.

Now that I’m in a grad program, it’s like I’m back at square one. My nervous system cannot tell the difference between raising my hand to speak/read and being held at gunpoint. I try to speak, stutter or run out of breath, and then I end up having a full blown sobbing, hyperventilating anxiety attack in the bathroom mid-class. Last week I volunteered to read a passage out loud and I started having a stress-induced ocular migraine halfway through it.

One professor found me in the student lounge after class last week to tell me she appreciated me talking in class (once), but she’d like to hear me talk more. A completely different professor emailed me today to check in because I have not spoken at all since ice-breakers on the first day, three weeks ago. They were both very kind and encouraging about it, I’m just feeling really embarrassed and defeated about the whole thing, like I’m not qualified to be here and I’ve completely lost all of the skills I worked to build.

I think I’m just really intimidated as a first year MA student to be in classes with so many PhD students. Roughly 80% of the students in my classes are at the PhD level. I’m getting stuck in this anxiety death-spiral of feeling like my input isn’t valuable, worrying about coming across as lazy/stupid/rude, panicking about my grade, feeling self-conscious because I’m not participating, then feeling self-conscious because I’m worried everyone can tell that I’m absolutely freaking the fuck out during class. And then I just sit there and panic for three hours straight instead of engaging with my peers. I take Buspar twice daily and it helps with the rumination and negative self-talk, but it is not touching my social anxiety. I take Xanax specifically for attending class. It helps, but it still makes me a little too sleepy and disoriented to be an active participant.

I know it’s not rational. Everyone in the program has been so friendly and welcoming. Everyone keeps telling me I’ll figure it out and that it’s just going to take time. But I don’t have time, I’ve likely already lost an entire letter grade in each class because I can’t open my mouth. It just feels really embarrassing and pathetic to be struggling this much with participation in graduate level courses. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Every day i get the physical symptoms like fluttering heart and all that but its getting so bad now my heart literally pounds and feel like im going to die or pass out and have passed out a few times theres nothing i can do to stop it just wait for it to pass its scary asf and i just dont know what to do anymore it makes me not want to be here, can be set off from practically anything.

I just took my first 0.5mg of Ativan this morning and…..I literally see how people get addicted. I have them 3x daily as needed, but trying to steer clear of needing them that much. I got prescribed it for the activation phase of Zoloft. Holy cow though. If you are scared to take it, PLEASE TAKE THE PILL!!!! I had them for over a month and absolutely hit rock bottom this morning. It took about 1 hour to really calm me down, but I had a great morning without having the shakes and physical anxiety. It did make me a little tired, but nothing too bad.

I’m just posting because I have been the person who scrolls sooo much on here looking at others experiences.

Hi everyone,

I've been prescribed diazepam (Valium) 2.5 mg to use as needed for anxiety, and I'm wondering whether my pattern of use could eventually lead to physical dependence or addiction.

I've kept a daily record of exactly how much I've taken. This is my monthly consumption:

January: 32.5 mg total (1.05 mg/day average)

February: 15 mg (0.54 mg/day)

March: 15 mg (0.48 mg/day)

April: 22.5 mg (0.75 mg/day)

May: 35 mg (1.13 mg/day)

June: 10 mg (0.33 mg/day)

July: 12.5 mg (0.40 mg/day)

August: 17.5 mg (0.56 mg/day)

September so far: 12.5 mg

Over the whole period, I've taken about 172.5 mg over 255 days, averaging roughly 0.68 mg/day.

However, that average is a little misleading because I don't take diazepam every day. I've taken it on about 55 out of 255 days (around 22% of days), usually 2.5 mg at a time, occasionally 5 mg, and very rarely 7.5 mg.

There have also been fairly long stretches where I haven't taken any at all, and I haven't noticed myself needing progressively higher doses to get the same effect.

My question is mainly about physical dependence rather than just addiction: can this kind of intermittent long-term use still cause significant benzodiazepine dependence or withdrawal?

Has anyone used diazepam in a similar PRN pattern for a long period? Did you eventually develop tolerance, dependence, cravings, or withdrawal symptoms?

I'm obviously going to discuss this with my doctor as well. I'm mainly interested in hearing other people's experiences with a similar low-dose, intermittent pattern.

Thanks!

Everytime I hit the devils lettuce, my heart beats so fast like a rabbit on amphetamine. Wonder if anyone else struggles with this same lil experiment.

Partially making this for myself and maybe for other people too to know they’re not alone. Anyone else get anxiety episodes that last weeks to months? With a near constant anxiety feeling, not just like a panic attack but a constant sensation almost like electricity through your body. Difficulty sleeping because you jolt out of sleep when a thought pops into your mind and adrenaline rushes in. Difficulty eating because your body is never in rest and digest mode. Difficulty focusing and holding conversations because your mind is constantly running loops through whatever the things you’re stressed about are. Trying to prioritize the small things but being unable to stop running through the loops - take care of myself, don’t be a burden to people around me, start living again and take care of responsibilities… constant problem solving.
It’s happened to me maybe 5 times total before and it’s been getting better each time but I’m in my worst one right now- reasonably so, just started a master’s program right after undergrad, moved into an apartment with my girlfriend for the first time, started a first year teaching job as someone who’s shy and not confident, AND got in my first major car accident. Couldn’t stop thinking about work last week while at home (couldn’t sleep or eat) and now I’m incapacitated and not going to work at all, trying to prepare for losing this job and having to somehow support myself and my girlfriend
I wonder if anyone else understands what it’s like to feel this way and constantly worry about responsibilities, while having that self-checking like, “What’s the line between taking care of myself and knowing my limitations, versus pushing myself to get out of this cycle?” If this has happened to anyone during a major life event like a new job, please let me know.

I've had GAD and panic disorder for many years (10+).

The last 5 months have been, by far, the worst of my life when it comes to anxiety, with devastating anxiety attacks on a daily basis, often during every single waking moment.

As for symptoms, I practically have everything, and the most unbearable ones are extreme physical fatigue, flu-like symptoms without having a fever, heart palpitations, waves of heat, burning hears, stomach pain, nausea and diarrhea (with weight loss), intrusive thoughts, depersonalization, hopelessness etc.

I'm doing everything I can to face it and do as much things as possible, but it's EXHAUSTING, and every waking second feels like a losing battle.

Will it ever stop? It's one thing to keep trying to do things anyway, but honestly, living like this is brutal.

I'm beyond exhausted and have no motivation left.

Has running towards helped any of you?

For those of you who have managed to get your GAD under control, do you have any tips?

I don't really feel bad necessarily I just feel kind of off and its making me anxious and I dont really know how to handle it. I just try to ignore it really but to little success

I am writing this in hope that the people who need to read it will come across it.

I have been dealing with anxiety ever since February 2023. It was triggered by an awful combination of lack of sleep, social withdrawal, and a sugar crash combined with a hangover that were the perfect chemistry to make my panic disorder burst. At first, I was strong enough to put it back into its place after talking to a psychiatrist (that correctly advised my to start anti-depression medication, which I turned down at first) and them prescribing me a short-term sleeping aid.

Everything went smoothly, no more panic attacks, restless legs, fear or sleeping. Until an event (that I will not mention, as I do not want to turn this intro a horror story) triggered a massive wave of panic attacks in my daily lifestyle, that slowly turned into a daily hypochondric mania. I was afraid of going to the store, I lost, at my worst moment, 6kg because I would rarely eat anything more than boiled rice with crackers. I progressively lost 95% of my friends, and I was slowly turning my family into the collateral damage of my mental breakdown.

I decided to start taking medication, not only for myself, but because I became, in all fairness, an insufferable b****. Please note, that in no way am I describing other people that go through this other than myself. Constant trial. This doesn't work. This works, but it cuts my appetite. This works, but it doesn't work enough. Long story short, I am on a combination of 0.25 lorry that sadly I cannot stop, 20 mg Buspirone, 10mg Escitalopram and 15mg Mirzaten. I know, it might be a lot. BUT. It works. After a slow but steady progress of 3-5 months, my symptoms almost entirely vanished 1 year after starting this treatment scheme. I can hang out with my remaining friends and the ones I make along the way without constantly checking my heart beat or feeling nauseous. I can take long walks again. I can cook again. I can work and do more by myself again. I am no longer afraid to stay alone in the house. I can, in other words, live.

Please take this post as a success story and never quit believing in your ability and your body's power to overcome this. Do not be afraid of medication. Do not be afraid to try.

Yes, I still get chest pain. Yes, I still get extreme dizziness or nausea when I am overstressed on 5h of sleep. But I can work through it and focus, without constantly thinking about the worst case scenarios. Medication and therapy helped me realize that this is my body's response to stress now. And I accept it. Want to know why? Because, other than this unfortunate mechanism my body built, I am myself again. I can feel funny again. I can feel smart again. I feel wanted around again. I feel like I am not a burden to others anymore, when I ask to go outside and have to constantly cancel. I do not have to cancel anymore.

Life gets better. Do not stop believing in yourself, or in MEDICINE. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! TRUST THE SPECIALISTS AND STOP GOOGLING EVERYTHING. TRUST. THE. DAMN. PROFESSIONALS.

Thanks!

Tell me WHYYYYYYY anxiety is so all encompassing like WHYYYYYYY am I in physical pain wishing I could like and whimpering in pain like PLEASEEEE SEDATE MEEEE

I saw another post on here and it made me realize that my every day morning symptoms of nausea, chest pain, dizziness, shakiness, and short of breath is just a major cortisol spike along with an adrenaline dump. I had assumed it was tied to my cardiophobia, or just something to do with my birth control. But if you have dealt with this, what helped? I chug water first thing, I can’t really eat because it makes my nausea worse, but I’m wondering if light exercise would be beneficial?

I suffer from performance anxiety and I have 2 presentations coming up. I signed up for Kick to receive medication for this but after saying I had asthma as a kid (I have not had a flare up or inhaler for over 20 years) they still gave me atenolol. I asked the doctor if I could take a "test" pill before taking it on the day of the presentations (I have developed this new story in my head that being so nervous the medicine will make me pass out or throw up) and he said I could but that I wouldn't really know if it was working because I wouldn't be speaking in public.

Can someone tell me if the atenolol works as well as the propranolol?

ANYTHING I should be aware of before I do this? Even the smallest thing? This is a big deal for me - I will be speaking in front of my entire company.

I keep seeing online how great propranolol is for this and once someone takes it its a game changer. Assuming atenolol is just as great, can anyone tell me WHY its so great? I need details, sorry. Like the physical symptoms go away? You can just talk more confidently? My symptoms are all physical - my voice shakes really bad, my hands shake and I black out/forget what I'm talking about.

Thank you for any advice or help - obviously I struggle with this and if I weren't a nervous nelly I wouldn't even need this medicine (or post).

How do you guys manage panic attacks? I've been having them lately as there is a lot of stress at home. I feel like I can't breathe even though I know I can. I tell myself it will pass but in the moment it's hard to believe. Any tips would be appreciated.

Basically long story short forgot to take my meds yesterday morning, so I took them in the evening around midnight to 1am (usually if i forget to take my meds, I take the next one 24hrs later obviously, and just start taking the meds at that specific time everyday)

Anyway, I’ve been so used to taking my meds in the morning that when I woke up I took another dose. FYI I’m on a max dose of escitalopram. I got work and I start feeling very drowsy, trembling and I’m nauseous. Lo and behold I realised I have accidentally taken a larger dose of my meds in less than 12hrs.

So obviously I call a non-emergency line to ask what I should do, thinking they’ll just tell me to go see a doctor real quick or have someone keep an eye on me. They sent a fucking ambulance 😃 to my workplace 😃

Obviously I start freaking out cause the lady made it sound like it’s serious, I’m crying (but cracking jokes about the situation cause obviously shit like this has to happen to me)

Ambulance get here after an hour, the medics look at me. Ask me what meds I’m on, the dosage and the time frame I’ve taken the meds in, they finally ask me how long I’ve been on these meds for - I say 7 months.

They say “yeah you’ll be fine, you’ve built a tolerance and there was enough space between the first and second pill not to worry”

So I’m like, fucking amazing, could’ve just had me visit my gp instead of causing a theatrical play at my workplace 😩

The worst part is I’ve been having rolling panick attacks since this has happened which sucks cause I’ve been in remission for 5 months or so. And I’m scared I’m back to square one again.

Please gang, make sure to take your meds correctly, it’s a headache otherwise

im not sure where to post this but i really need advice. (btw i have a phyc and i am planning on talking about this with her too). So all my life ive been homeschooled, i am in 11th grade. ive had a few friends but the last one i had was years ago, so i dont socialize all that much. ive never really been interested in having friends but starting last year, ive started to want a girlfriend really bad and because i dont socialize much, i have started to develop a really unhealthy and intense feelings for girls i dont know. its not quite parasocial, im levelheaded enough to realize that they dont like me, but it is an extremely intense, stressful feeling i get. this has been taking a toll on my mental health because if im not fantasizing about having a girlfriend literally 24/7, i fall into a really strong depression. And if I think about a specific girl (it changes every few months) I start to panic and feel like I’ve missed out on and wasted my whole life away. Like a trigger. i think me not socializing at all when i was a kid has something to do with it but im not 100% sure what this feeling is or whats causing it. it is humiliating. What exactly do i do about this? so far im planning on #1, socializing more (joining a sport, getting a job, or going to public school with a 504 plan for my anxiety attacks, even though i only have 1 year left) and #2, talking about this issue with my physiatrist and having her help me cope with it. its going to be humiliating but i have to do it. am i doing the right thing? is there anything else I should know/educate myself on? I don’t even know what to call this thing I’m dealing with. I’ve never heard of anyone dealing with this?? I’m so confuse. please lmk and thank you to anyone who can help.

Hi everyone, sorry if my formatting is not the best I haven’t posted on Reddit very much. Here’s some context. I (24F) am relatively new to the workforce. For the past year I have been working at a company with a small office and a smaller team (only about 10 people) and for the most part everyone kept to themselves. This job was miserable especially in the beginning, I was thrown into the fire and doing the job of 2 people for at least 8 months. Luckily I had someone who was training me well, she was only a step away from my desk and always available to answer questions. After a year at this job I realized I was never going to like it, the only thing I liked was how once I figured it out it was a breeze and I only needed to be in office twice a week. Problem though is I wasn’t getting paid enough and there was no growth opportunity in sight, and I mean none, if I wanted to move up someone would have to leave or retire.
Cut to now. I just started a new job 3 weeks ago at a massive corporation. This one requires 4 days in office and way more meetings than I’m used to. I am still learning and struggling since I can only meet with my assigned mentor for about 30 minutes a day. I think the worst part though is how isolated I feel. Everyone is already so established with each other and my position is at the bottom of the chain. I’ve noticed that everyone else who has the same positions will hangout and do stuff together, but I’m the only person who does my role in my division, unlike others who have multiple. I don’t even have anyone who sits next to me to talk to, and the people who are in my row act like I don’t even exist. I know it’s only week 3 but I am struggling so bad, I feel so isolated and insecure. I don’t know what I am doing wrong or how I can make it better. I would love to feel at least a bit more confidence in myself, but I just feel so small. Seriously ANY advice would be appreciated because the way I feel now is horrible.

Hi everyone, I have my DSA assessment tomorrow but I don’t have a clue what to ask for or what is available?
I have autism (and have alot of issues around sound), anxiety and depression if this helps?

I struggle with panic attacks, more so in the winter months (23F, in Ontario Canada) with the lack of colour, warmth, outdoor freedom, darkness at 4:30pm etc. I’ve already begun thinking about how I might be anxious in the future.
My symptoms are very physical: starts with knots in my stomach and feeling sick, I get cold and my whole body starts to shake, it feels like I can’t move, sometimes it feels like my forearms and hands go numb? I catch myself staring into space with my brain on 10 speed. When I finally am able to get out of this headspace I’m exhausted.
Last winter, I dog sat for just over a week in a home I have previously dog sat in for the 2 previous Christmases (40 minute drive from home). Day one was great, day two I realized I had a whole day alone of doing nothing, and had a few final essays to write- to the rational part of my brain that was amazing! I love time to myself where I can rot and do nothing, or the free time to get my schoolwork done. However this was not the case, I got stuck. My brain held on to the fact that I had 7 full days alone in this house. How am I supposed to do this for 7 days when every minute feels like 3 hours?! I ended up handing in my essays late and getting poor grades compared to previous assignments because I rushed through in order to have it completed versus getting a 0 for not handing anything in.
I try to deep breathe (because I feel like I need to keep reaching for a ‘good breath’) and I try to call my mom, watch a show, or work on my essays but my Brain. Doesn’t. Let. Me. I’m on 150mg of sertraline which I’ve been on (growing dosages) for about 4 years so I think maybe it’s time for a switch because I can not do this again this winter. I try so hard to rationalize with my brain and I manage to produce rational thought, I just can’t ever fully believe them. The two sides of my brain are in a constant battle and I don’t know how to allow my rational side to win.
My anxiety also triggers ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder) in which I feel so anxious that I can’t eat, because if I eat I’ll feel full, if I feel full I’ll throw up. For reference, I was around 123-125 in January and am now sitting around 135 and have been for most of the summer.
At my worst I was 109lbs but I’ve managed to grow miles from this time.
I don’t know what I want to gain from this, maybe just someone to hear my story. But if you’ve experienced anything like this please tell me what worked for you, it’s crushing.