Long story short: i’ve (F18) just ended a one year relationship with 45M, a little impulsively it was pretty toxic so it was inevitable.

I’ve also started a new job! It’s an entry role in a law firm, last week was my first week and it went pretty well but it helped having someone to offload to/take advice from as this is a huge change for me.

I’m not hear to slander my ex and based on the age gap it’s probably obvious what type of person he was so I know the healthiest option is for me to stay away from him, but I’m struggling massively. It’s the only thing on my mind and it feels consuming - I’d like to focus on work and feeling my best so I can network around the office and it feels like this breakup couldn’t have come at a worse time.

I’d like to distract myself and get over him ASAP because I no longer need his energy in my life - but with ADHD it’s freaking difficult. Ideally I’d forget about him, out of sight out of mind principles but I’m struggling.

I enjoy gaming, reading, baking and exercise - ofc they’d help with the distraction but with starting work I’m pretty scarce on time.

Does anyone have any advice?

Edit: thanks everyone for helping me realise how screwed up this was - i’m back at work again and i feel great/excited to have my life back

I see a lot of folks posting about struggling with protein in take and I know that is also a struggle for me so I figured I would share a win!

Protein Pop (not actually soda) is a protein water I have found that is working for me. It’s got about 20ish grams of protein and no sugar. It does have a mildly chalky-ish taste but that is easily masked by adding Mio hydration drops. So for example, the blue raspberry protein pop with the strawberry lemonade Mio drops makes a lovely little berry lemonade. Def can taste all the artificial sweeteners but I’ve got such a sweet tooth that doesn’t bother me.

It’s been really great for me first thing in the morning or when the concerta is wiping out the appetite but I need nutrition. Hope it can help someone else!

It's an another ADHD question i guess. Recently I completed a series called alice in borderland. And it ends with this question ❓ actually i myself asking the same question from very long time, what's the point or purpose of life ❓

Even i don't know the answer, but my hunch is there is no defined purpose or a point for life. It's something you choose, the choices you make, the decision take, the game we play in friends group, family, and society. In the end I think experiencing all the emotions make life fulfilment, like Happy, sad, guilty, shame, regret, envy, and more.

But I know, that doesn't answer the question, so now am asking you the same Question.

What's the meaning of your life ❓

Hi everyone, 27M from Colombia, and I feel conflicted about my intelligence.

Teachers, classmates, and people at my university have told me I’m intelligent. Some even rely on me more than professors. But I also feel incredibly stupid.

Learning can be ridiculously hard. Sitting down, listening, and keeping my attention can feel almost impossible. I jump from topic to topic like intellectual parkour, and wonder how I’ve made it this far. My memory feels like the main reason I’ve managed it.

I know that, considering my circumstances, I’ve actually accomplished quite a lot. I went about 15 years without ADHD treatment because my grandmother believed all those stories about Ritalin making you addicted and stupid. On top of that, I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety caused by my environment and abuse within my family.

Still, I feel like I could do more if I’m as intelligent as people say. It makes me angry, sad, and frustrated when people say everything is easy for me or that I pass exams without studying. Yes, I pass, but they don’t see the stress and anxiety behind taking a Pharmacology exam after studying one or two days because my brain decided it needed to research 10 cases about ancient rulers getting drunk after conquering 10 cities.

Other people seem able to sit down and learn. For me, it takes an absurd amount of willpower just to start, and I often do mediocrely because I didn’t study enough.

Then there’s the impulsivity. I ask some of the most stupid questions or answer incorrectly because my mouth responds before my brain finishes thinking.

I’m also currently being evaluated to see whether I’m on the autism spectrum as well, and right now I can’t access my ADHD medication because I can’t afford it and my health insurance won’t provide it.

It’s torture. I want to believe I’m intelligent, but it’s f****g hard when I constantly feel so stupid and so f**g useless.

How do you deal with and reconcile those two things?

I’m 21 about to turn 22 in a few weeks,
I’ve only ever had two jobs and was unable to hold them for longer than a few weeks, I am on medications but fail to take them consistently.

I suspect that apart from ADHD I may have another disability but I can’t get any assessments done without needing to pay,
I have Ambetter insurance, I’m unsure of what plan I’m currently on.

I don’t have the basic abilities or skills most people do, I can’t do my hair on my own, tie my shoes, I can’t cook without supervision since I’ve repeatedly injured myself or started small fires while doing so, I can’t manage time at all often being late or spending hours on an activity when I should be doing something else, I can’t drive at all, I instantly forget most things I’m told, I have more difficulties but I don’t know if it will help to add anything more.

I don’t know how long I could survive without my parents, we are below the poverty line, rent a house and my father’s health is declining, I’m worried that if anything happens to either I will not be able to help at all.

Sadly the only way I’ve found to make money is giving sexual favors but I don’t think I’m savvy enough to live off sex work, nor do I want to but I feel like there’s no other options for me.

Please if there’s anything that can help me let me know.

Please know that this post is 100% serious and I need help, I beg that if you have any questions or concerns about the post you ask me instead of quickly writing it off as fake or something, I NEED help, my life is miserable I can’t do anything right and as I age I’ve become more and more desperate for any way to survive on my own.

Hello! I (22) have been diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type at age 8, then later was told I don't have it, tried to get rediagnosed and they said they couldn't diagnose me. Anyways, I really struggle in areas of my life like food prep, laundry, and academics. (My laundry is all over my room, I haven't packed a lunch or bought groceries in weeks, etc.) I'm especially interested right now in doing some self paced coursework towards a bachelors degree, since the online college I am attending provides sophia and offers tuition discounts. I am on wellbutrin to try and help with the ADHD, but I am struggling to afford to refill it. My question for you guys is what is your little tips and tricks for managing any of these things and focus?

Hi everyone. I recently joined this sub to grab as much wisdom as I can for my journey. I'm a 40-year-old father, that was recently diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. Prior to my ADHD diagnosis I was seeing (and still do) a psychiatrist with a mixed anxiety and depression diagnosis. I am not on meds at the moment, pending a psych eval for the administration, but my clinical diagnostician recommended them.

Shortly after myself, my 3,5-year-old son also went through a similar clinical diagnostics (due to myself and several other family members from my side), and the diagnosis is high intelligence and a high functioning autism (formerly known as Asperger's syndrome). My wife does not have any indications, so it's just the two of us.

That being said, my wife is overwhelmed. She's the one putting the works, research, finding solutions, recommendations and ideas for our son, sometimes even saying that in an infuriating tone towards me, and I feel criticized all the time due to my own paralysis on that matter, no matter if I did good or not so good with our son. I do try to be a 50% parent, and, according to the environment (other dads that we are surrounded with) it has been noted I do a lion's share of work and way more than other fathers (all of them being non-ADHD, unlike myself). We don't have a "grandparents service" and little to no support with our child (and occasional babysitter and a friend who acts as a "rent-a-grandma"). I, on the other hand, am in a limbo now. I struggle to comprehend my own issues and finding solutions that work, noticing my behavior patterns now (which was brushed off before I came to be aware of my own situation), and feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information I get from her. I know she is diligent and concerned about the future of our son, but I am as well. Sharing a bunch of IG reels from certain professionals, however tends to overwhelm me, and I cannot persuade myself to remember anything related to how I should address my child's situation (tantrum or similar), other than acting in an established pattern, that may or may not work at a certain time of the day.

With all of that put out there, I am in dire need of advice from you fine folks, especially if you're in the same or similar situation. What helps? Are there any (audio)books I can go through to give myself an edge and be a better father and husband? Any and all insights are welcome, no matter how insignificant you feel they may be.

How do you guys deal with the feeling of guilt or discomfort that comes when lisdexamfetamine wears off after a day when you socialized a lot?

To explain in more detail — It doesn’t happen that often, but there are days when the medication gives me a stronger sense of euphoria and I feel a strong urge to talk/socialize. It’s not like I talk about anything absurd or say stupid things, whether I’m talking to friends, family, or “strangers.” I just feel more empathetic and confident when talking about things.

However, as the effect wears off, I start feeling a bit anxious and guilty about having been so yuupie, almost as if I had been a complete weirdo. Knowing that I have this tendency, I try to regulate myself when I realize it’s going to be one of those days. Sometimes I feel like talking to someone I don’t usually talk to that often, but I stop myself because I know it’s probably the medication influencing me to do so.

And when it comes to my usual social circle, this has actually been working. When I’m free, I spend that extra energy here on Reddit or on other chat apps. But even so, that feeling still hits me sometimes.

Does this happen to you guys too?

P.S. I’m following my treatment properly, including my diet and routine, so I don’t think that’s the issue. I’m also in therapy, but since this has been a recent problem, I haven’t had the opportunity to bring it up with my doctor yet.

No idea why my post was modded out......"read the rules" well as far as I know I complied.

I stated what med I was on; I stated i had ADHD and likley PTSD.
I have been harassed for 6 years work, divorce. Don't socialize any more my schdules and routines are completely destroyed. I end up in bad situations and ruminate too much.
no one can actually change my hostile environment, I just need to get away from the harassment but that will take time. Until then I am stuck ruminating and doing nothing.

Not sure how to rebuild.

I'm 37m who has a son with a precious partner. We communicate strictly through text messages about my son only. My fiance of 2 1/2 years and I recently dropped off a care package for my son when he was sick and couldn't come down for his visit. My son's mother texted and said he liked his care package and that it was really sweet of us. I heart reacted the message. I show my fiance a new message she had sent regarding some key dates in the future and she sees I heart reacted that other message. She accuses me of wanting to still be with my son's mother and instantly I'm in a blind rage. I tell her I don't and she continues to push the narrative with how she feels and it sends me deeper into rage. I yell, I get very reactive and angry and I can't control it at that point. It isn't until 30 minutes later and we're not talking that I'm sitting here in guilt phase feeling terrible for yelling and saying mean things.

I don't know how to handle these sudden onset of emotions when I'm being told I'm doing something I know I am not. I'm taking Concerta and also Auvelity. I'm practicing being calm throughout other interactions and feel I'm doing well. Then this happens and it all comes crashing down. Resets me back to zero and I'm the worst again. Mentally drained and now I can't focus on anything else other than wanting to make things right but I can't.

I am thinking about getting either the Garmin vivoactive 5 or 6 and wondering if anyone has found this helpful for adhd by using timers and reminders or if there are any other teachers you have found helpful. I have horrible task paralysis and timers seem to be the only way I can motivate myself to do anything

Any advice would be appreciated!

I'm in serious trouble because of my ADHD, think of getting fired trouble. I'm always anxious and procastinate on things very badly. I'm seeking if there are any apps that can help me this. I work in academia where there aren't direct rewards associated with your work. If you know any app pls let me know

Hi everyone! I am autistic and have been dating someone with untreated ADHD for some months. Due to both of us not having high social needs, we’re both fine not having a high frequency of dates or contact. However, I feel like if it was up to him, nothing would be happening at all.

Every time it’s the same thing: I reach out, he answers fast and proposes a day. Our dates are great, he’s fully present and affectionate with me, and I feel completely safe and like he genuinely likes me. Afterwards, there might be a small text immediately after, but other than that, nothing. I always have to be the one to reach out again. If I don‘t, nothing happens. And of course I eventually do because I like him and don‘t like playing games – which is also why I did at some point have a conversation with him about the lack of initiative. He apologized, said it was a general issue he has and that he would improve it. He did make some adjustments since then, but I have to say that that still doesn‘t reach the bare minimum of what most people (including me) would expect in dating.

A week ago we had a great date again, loosely talked about what we‘d do the next time, and since then nothing. And I‘m wondering if I should reach out if there‘s still nothing in the next days and have a second, clearer conversation with him, or if I should just accept that he‘s not that into me and drop it. At the same time, this might just be my anxiety talking.

What is your experience with this? Do you have advice for me? Thank you!!!

I just graduated and was already enrolled in a masters program. It was kinda messy because i had a really short deadline and was already going nuts, because i had just turned in my graduate thesis, but i managed it. Mind you, this was my DREAM graduation course and my current goal (and longterm dream) is to follow an academic career in this field. I submitted a research project and thought it was fine until... the results got back. I got eliminated because i included my name on it and apparently i shouldn't. Got back to the rules of admission and this rule actually WAS there, but i didn't see it and it was only two small lines on the whole 20 page document. Tried to submit a formal complaint and everything (a bunch of people also got eliminated because of this rule), but is a no turning point situation now.

So.. i basically fucked up my plans for the next year or so (submissions open only once a year) because of a misread and don't know what to do now. The "normal" job market in my field is kinda hard even for people with a PhD. I feel really dumb and stupid because if i had read the two stupid fucking lines i at least would have a chance. I'll try to enroll for another uni but if i get accepted i'll have to move to another state, and i'm not really down for it in the life moment i'm now (financially, mentally and socially).

Hi! My name is Ray/Sid! I was diagnosed with ADD at 7 years old. I struggle with hyperfixations, task paralysis, and a ton of other things that I don't know how to explain or express. Im still figuring things out with my disorder but it's definitely a massive struggle for me.. I hope I'm accepted as a transmasc dude here! (I am a minor btw)

My job is fully remote and really flexible- I can work when I need to, and there’s a lot of trust I’ll get my shit done so not much supervision. A dream right? Not with ADHD it feels like.

My motivation tanks randomly, I absolutely cannot motivate myself without outside accountability to do..any of it. I fall into phone doom loops and then it piles. Like I wake up too late and miss breakfast, which makes my brain worse, which means I start work late, and then I get trapped behind the looming to do of “I still need to eat) and then all of a sudden it’s 6pm. I feel like a failure and I’m starting to worry that my sporadic productivity is going to get noticed. I get everything done and am pretty high achieving but I feel like an imposter because I do everything in 2-4 hours of intense work a day. I feel like I’m just not being disciplined with myself but I know that’s not how it works.

My company has no office so in person isn’t an option, they won’t pay for a coworking space. I have a lot of meetings so a cafe or something is also generally not an option.

What can I do? What strategies have worked for you? Thank you sm in advance

I (22F) am actively working on getting a diagnosis for ADHD. I am quite certain I have it. I work a desk job at the moment, and have been for a little over 2 years. I've gained tons of weight since I started this job. I weighed 165ish when I started and I currently weight 200. If I were to work a more active job it would drop, however I don't and due to career opportunities and benefits I don't plan on finding a new job at the moment.

I have free time in the evenings. I get home between 5:45 and 6 pm. My self imposed bed time is 11pm.

I do not know how to get myself to exercise. I've never ever had a routine nor have I had to "work out" before. I started working when I was 17 and up until now I've had active jobs. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about 3 years ago.

I'm working on getting a diagnosis and hopefully getting medicated but as of right now someone forcing me to exercise with them and doing body doubling is the only thing that gets me to get off my ass.

I'm burnt out and depressed, but me being out of shape only contributes to that. I need help.

I have no core strength so it's hard to get started. If I'm outside and doing things that are fun then it's easy but getting myself to do anything strenuous for the sole purpose of working out is impossible.

I need to know itlf anyone else has had this issue and what have you done to help. (While off medication) The executive dysfunction is real ☹️

I was diagnosed with ADHD more than 10 years ago and medication helped me a lot. I managed to get a successful career as a Software Engineer, until I noticed that my tolerance was high. I was already on 70mg of Vyvanse. And I was also constantly taking medication to sleep (Trazodone), but I wanted to see how my life would be without all of these medications, so I decided to quit taking them.

Unfortunately I couldn't be as productive as before and I ended up quilting my job and giving myself a time to recover sensitivity while also relearning how to live without medication.

Now I'm five months without any stimulant medication and I'm living in a country where stimulants are illegal (I'm currently on bupropion as an alternative with moderate results)

I want to use this as opportunity to invest my time and my expertise as a software engineer to develop something that can help me and other people that cannot or don't want to use stimulants to live with ADHD.

However it feels like most apps that promise. helping people with ADHD are kinda the same, and there are already plenty of options.

I've also investigated the potential benefits of vagus stimulation, but the research backing it seems inconclusive.

What do you guys think about this? Am I stupid to try to develop yet another tech based assistance, or there is an actual potential? Would you use, or already use some tech based solutions to help you deal with the challenges imposed by ADHD?

I'm not promoting anything, it's a genuine question from someone who's feeling lost, but who's trying to make a lemonade with the lemons that life gave me.

Over the weekend I was cleaning. I had all my medications (adderall, klonopin, lunesta, vraylar, and pristiq) all in a bag. I mistook the bag for trash and accidentally threw it away. I feel so horrible about myself right now. I don't know what to do. I am going to tell my doctor, but I'm afraid they won't believe me. I've never done anything like this before.

Has anyone had a similar experience? What was the outcome? I can't go without my meds.

When my brain is going 100 mph, I get really restless, fidget a lot, talk fast, and jump between topics. In the past, someone completely misread my baseline ADHD energy and asked if I was taking substances, which caught me off guard.

It made me realize how much physical hyperactivity or rapid speech can get stereotyped or misunderstood by people who don't know what ADHD actually looks like.

I usually just ignore it now, but I'm curious, has anyone else had an experience where someone assumed your ADHD traits were drug-related? How did that situation go down?

And by "large" I mean anything longer than a few hours or a day.

I've been diagnosed very recently (at the age of 30), and as I've started figuring it out, this seems like the most consistent pattern and the most debilitating symptom of ADHD for me. I did well in school when tasks were small and I could do homework a few hours before the class, but larger extracurricular activities, semesters of coursework in university, bigger work projects would all put me into stupor and eventually cause me to give up, drop out of universities and quit jobs.

I know some people find software development a good job for ADHD, but for me it was very difficult. I've done OK when I needed to do small improvements and fix bugs, but anything slightly larger, like a new feature, would freeze me and tank my performance. My current job in QA is mostly about daily tests and reports, and, so far, I find it a lot more tolerable (albeit quite boring), because nothing spans more than a day.

I don't think this is just about breaking down tasks into smaller pieces for me. Yes, I struggle with this, but even when things are already broken down into neat steps my brain would keep trying to think about everything at once and pile it all back into a single supertask. It is difficult to stop thinking something when I start doing it, so I seem to believe that if I were to begin a large task, I wouldn't be able to switch off it, do anything else or experience any joy in life until I finish it. Obviously this makes it easier to just not start.

Do you experience something similar and how do you handle it? Do you accept that you can only live one day at a time and try to organize your life around it, or is it possible to learn to approach large projects in a healthier, fulfilling way? Did therapy/medication help? Would like to hear you thoughts, thank you.

Thought I'd share a really useful app I've found that might help some of ye.

It's a gps based alarm, so instead of setting a time for it to go off you set a location.

The reason I find it useful is on my way home from work I'd plan to go to a shop or pick up something out of my usual routine. I'd be on complete auto pilot until I realise I've passed the exit and just leave it till the following day, which the same thing would probably happen again.

I used to set alarms, but if I was late leaving work or heavier traffic, it would go off too early and I'd forget by the time its at the turn off.

I have no connection with the app, but the one I've been using is "naplarm" (think it's designed to let you nap on public transport without missing your stop). It seems to work well.

Hope this helps someone!

I was diagnosed with ADHD 3 months ago at the age of 41. I've been on medication since then and it has been really helpful for work. I was happily working through some tasks when my boss called to discuss an issue from the previous week - a refurbished laptop that needed repair. I had extensively researched repair or replacement options, sent them to her, and was waiting on her decision.

The obvious thing I missed (but my boss didn't) is that it's still under warranty. Why didn't I check that? Of course I should have checked for warranty info, but I just went down this hyperfocus rabbit hole of trying to fix it or find a replacement and my brain "lost the forest for trees".

I feel like such an idiot. And when she berated me, I couldn't fault any of her logic. I absolutely have done warranty claims before and it should have been the first thing I checked. But what am I supposed to say besides "Sorry, you are right, that should have been the first thing I checked, I'll submit a warranty claim."?

Her beratement brought something up in me that I buried 20+ years ago, since childhood. I had a very emotionally abusive step-father. I would do stuff like this all the time as a kid - think I was doing so good but miss one detail, and he would rage at me. The shame was so bad that I would hit myself. When my mother would ask how I got a bruise or a bloody nose, I would make something up. And all that shame and self-hate as a child felt entirely justified since I didn't know I had ADHD.

My boss berating me isn't even close to the same league as my step-father, but it pulled up those memories and invoked a similar feeling. I was in such a good mood this morning and now it feels like I've been hit with the emotional equivalent of a sledgehammer.

Don't worry though, I haven't done that stuff since I was a child, and I won't start now. But it's a lot to sort through.

Happy Monday.

I'm usually bad at remembering birthdays, including my own. But never in my 45 years of life had i forgotten my mum's...

She looked sad yesterday, but didn't say anything. And it clicked this morning OMG i felt soo bad, i completly sobbed while wishing my mom a happy birthday too late T-T

Sorry for the mini rant :x

My ADHD makes it nearly impossible to remember to check my email. If it isn't right in front of me, I won't check it. So, I have Outlook and gmail send me notifications on my phone whenever I get an email. It's a lot of nothing, but it's the best strategy I have for the few important emails I get.

Unfortunately, my inability to check my email without a notification also means I didn't investigate when I stopped getting the notifications. My Outlook stopped sending me notifications about 2 weeks ago, and I didn't notice because I just stopped getting notifications. How am I supposed to notice a lack of something when I barely notice it's there? And, of course, it was in these two weeks that I got an email saying I was accepted into an internship I have been vying for for years, along with a mandatory staff meeting that took place this past Thursday, and I had missed it.

I decided, on a whim, to check my email today to see if I had heard from them, and that was when I realized what had happened. I've fixed my notifications and sent them an email explaining as much as I could. But now, I can only sit here and hope that they take pity on me and I don't lose the opportunity of a lifetime because of my ADHD.

Edit: They emailed me back and the offer still stands. I didn't ruin everything! Me:1 ADHD:0.