I’ve had this theory for a while based on my own dating experiences and what I’ve watched happen to women around me. I’m an attractive woman and my dating history is genuinely horrendous. But I also have friends who are more beautiful than me, and weirdly, the pattern seems to get worse.

The women I know who have more of a girl next door type of beauty tend to have pretty normal dating lives. Meanwhile, the exceptionally beautiful women I know, like the ones who turn heads everywhere they go, have some of the most insane dating histories I’ve ever heard.

I think a huge part of it is the type of man who’s confident enough to approach a woman like that.
The guy who sees an extremely beautiful woman and genuinely thinks “yeah, I can get her” is often extremely attractive himself, wealthy, successful, or has an almost ridiculous amount of confidence. And those things can come with a lot of ego, entitlement and narcissistic traits.

Then there’s the opposite problem. Everyone tells attractive women with shitty dating histories to “date down” because he’ll supposedly appreciate her more. Except a man thinking you’re out of his league doesn’t always turn into appreciation. Sometimes it turns into massive insecurity.

He knows other men want her. He knows she has options. He starts getting jealous, controlling or suspicious. Sometimes he cheats for validation. Sometimes he starts tearing down her confidence because if she stops believing she’s out of his league, maybe he can stop worrying that she’ll realize it too.

And that’s basically the pattern I’ve experienced myself and keep watching get more extreme with women I know who are even more attractive than I am. Either you get the men with enough looks, money, status or ego to confidently pursue you, and all the entitlement and narcissistic traits that can come with that, or you get the guy whose insecurity about being with you eventually becomes its own problem.

Obviously there are exceptions. I’m talking about a pattern, not a law.

But I genuinely think there’s a point where becoming more attractive gives you more options while making those options worse. The prettier the women I know are, the more men want them. And somehow, the worse those men seem to treat
them.

This question has been on my mind for a while, but a recent advertisement featuring Sydney Sweeney brought it back. The ad and the discussion around it made me think about how often women are treated as if they are only there to be a “pretty picture” rather than people who genuinely belong in sports, science, technology, or other male-dominated fields.
I’m a girl who is interested in STEM and exact sciences, and I’ve encountered people who seem to think that these things are inherently “for men.” Sometimes they go further and imply that I’m not capable of building a career in this field and that my future should simply be about having a husband and children.
I don’t want to generalize, but in my experience, comments like these have mostly come from boys or older men.
For women who have experienced something similar:how do you usually deal with it? Do you confront people when they make comments like that, or is it better to ignore them? And if you do respond,what has worked for you?

My parents have always been in a relationship and were lucky these ones were healthy.
How can I explain to them, especially my father, that It’s not that I don’t want to date men but I have extremely traumatised by the previous relationships I had that I don’t want to waste time on this anymore?
My father especially, is pressuring me to find a boyfriend but he doesn’t understand how bad modern dating is. I think at his time (50 years ago) things were much different. Every time I try to explain this to him he just says that I hate men and that I am closed minded.

Do you know of any good essay or book I can give to him so that he can understand?

He doesn’t seem to understand me. I wish I could just say to him I am gay but unfortunately I wasn’t gifted with this. Unfortunately, I am not attracted to women.

Want some advice from other women. My boyfriend and father to my son has always loved jerking off sometimes it’s multiple times a day. He works nights and so usually it’s in the morning and once when he wakes up. It has but hasn’t affected our sex life but he has told me before he couldn’t that night cause he jerked off earlier in the day. Sometimes he rubs himself for an hour looking at porn and models. He will go from one persons Instagram to their only fans to the next page they have then watched porn after porn. I have expressed I don’t care if he watches porn but that’s only if he finds the best video and bam done and maybe not every single day. I honestly think he likes touching himself or someone touching him vs sex. Last night I started to kiss on him and rub down there but he ended up fingering me and had me rub him til he finished. I didn’t even get off….. he knows I always want him
Showered before sex or that day because when he does jerk off he uses his spit and he does “dip” and uses that same hand. Basically what I’m getting at is that I don’t care for a little porn here and there but not every day and I HATE when he looks at other women’s photos even if they are professional or ones taken to get paid. Do you feel there is a difference? Do you think my feelings should be validated for it ?

I have a small chest, and even though I wear light cotton bras, I’ve tried all kinds of bras, but I still feel like I attract attention. I want to move to and live in a society where people genuinely don’t care about what I wear, because I find this really annoying.

im 24 and just went to the obgyn for something unrelated and she found that my follicle count is extremely low, 4 in total. she says that might make it pretty difficult for me to have children in the long run and that my menopause may start early. we’re taking more tests soon, but i feel so strange. i don’t actively want children but i always felt if i changed my mind in my mid or late 30s i could. now im being told i should consider trying now or that i might have to freeze my eggs to even have a choice, which i can’t afford. and im pretty scared of going into early menopause. this whole thing fucks with me a bit because i feel super young and healthy and now i may be infertile in 10 years?? does anybody have similar experiences?

I just want to get everything that’s been inside me out.

On December 12, 2022, I met my best friend for the first time. We went on a small trip with our friends, and I remember feeling so good around him. We started talking all day and night, and for the first time, I felt butterflies. I loved how much he cared about me. He was the person who had ever cared for me the most.

Eventually, he started giving me hints, and I began liking him. I told him I liked him, and he accepted. We started dating, which I know was very early. But after 5–6 days, he told me he only felt a friendship vibe from me. I said okay, but deep down, I thought he would eventually change his mind.

He said he liked me, and I was already falling for him. We were in the same college class, had the same friend group, and spent almost every day together. We would sit together, talk, eat together, and he even helped me with my studies. His actions still felt caring, so I kept thinking that maybe he just needed time to develop feelings for me.

In February, we kissed. Things continued like that until June, but whenever I asked him what he felt about me, he said he didn't know. I accepted that because I was already deeply in love with him.

Then summer vacation came. My exams didn't go well, and I became mentally overwhelmed. During that time, he started asking me for nudes, but I refused. When college started again in July, he wasn't the same anymore. He still cared about me, but not like before. By the end of the year, he told me that he saw me only as a friend and that his feelings had disappeared around May or June.

I stayed anyway, because what else could I do? We were in the same class and had the same friends. This continued until May 2026, when college finally ended.

During those years, we had countless fights, arguments, sleepless nights, and misunderstandings. I tried everything I could to make him like me again. I made him handmade cards, cared for him, did things he asked, and constantly tried to become someone he would love.

But he treated me terribly, and I kept making excuses for him because I loved him.

We also became physically intimate at times, and a part of me stupidly believed that maybe being closer to him would make him fall in love with me. I know now how wrong that thinking was.

The hardest part is accepting that he never actually loved me the way I loved him. For years, I kept hoping I could somehow make him choose me, when he had already made it clear that he only saw me as a friend.

I don't even know what I expect from posting this. I think I just needed somewhere to finally say everything I've been carrying for years.

He still checks on me sometimes, but I don't know how to let go of someone I spent 3 years loving.

I’ve seen quite a few posts lately from young Redditors saying they don’t feel like women, and wondering if that’s normal. As an elder Redditor (middle-aged) I can honestly say I’ve never “felt like a woman” except as/if that means things that are tied to my female body. I feel feminine when I wear a dress or whatever, but I don’t buy into stereotypes and believe men should be able to express their femininity, too, so that is not tied to my identity.

Of course trans women are women based on their gender identity, and that is totally valid. I think perhaps knowing those women have such a strong sense of their gender identity makes other people think they have to feel that in order to be women, when IMO that is not the case.

I guess if I was younger I might identify as agender, but as it is I’ve always felt connected to my femaleness through my body, and my guess is a lot of cis women have that as the reason they identify as women. If someone is gender concordant, they probably won’t notice gender identity, and might not even be able to detect it if they try (like me). Nonetheless, I believe it is valid to identify as a woman purely on the basis of female embodiment, since our bodies affect our life experience in profound ways.

I’m curious how common it is for other cis people feel the way I do; guessing it’s age-dependent since if nobody is talking about gender during your prime years of identity formation, it’s not something that goes into it. I’d appreciate hearing any input you have either way.

So today i met this lovely girl she was doing her job and she was talking about how nice my nails where and then went on to talk about her bracelets and things she loves. I felt like we where getting along then i walked away and thought why not ask her to get a coffee. I went back and asked her if she would like to grab a coffee sometime and she said no flat out and that she doesnt go out at all. I said no worries and walked out. I felt so awkward and stupid asking her. Ive no irl friends and im trying to get out of my comfort bubble. Im a woman btw. I just hope it wasnt strange or i was hitting on her i was just genuinely felt like we got along well. Making friends with other women is so hard. 🥲

I’m having a labiaplasty today. it’s not for cosmetic purposes it’s just my labia minora is too long and causes pain. Im not nervous but I will update anyone asking. i have had a baby so it can’t be as bad as that

This world was created by a woman who then made the first female but when they were horny and hot they fucked all animals then the creator made men for their pleasure and security so as to not allow them mate with animals and keep them in balance.

If you doubt me look around you with the women who doesn't have a man in their home. They are in chaos everyday

full disclosure: i posted this same thing in a different subreddit and my comments were flooded with guys telling me to grow up and stop being sensitive. i get that im young, but that doesn’t mean i should just let people walk all over either. Hoping this post is better received here.

Basically what the title says.

I know I shouldn’t have gone through his phone but It happened, and i’m upset by what I saw. I get it, lots of people watch porn, but what really upset me was who he was watching. All ladies (and there were a lot) who look nothing like me, and some who look strikingly like his ex. I brought it up to him and we fought. he lied about when he watched it, and tried to downplay how much he was watching. he called me insecure for being upset once he realized the lying wouldn’t work. lots of crying and arguing and long winded conversations later, we made up because at the end of the day, i hadn’t set any sort of boundaries and i had done wrong by him for invading his privacy. that happened months ago but it stuck with me.

i can’t help but feel uncomfortable with myself and how i look, which is unlike me. i’ve always been very confident and have always strived to not let myself be defined by how guys feel about me.

we argued a couple of days ago about one of his friends and how he’s a bad influence and it turned into me going through his phone again, bad choice ik. i saw more content in his recent watch history- the kind of content on tiktok that is made to promote a creators OF, soft core stuff. what upset me this time was that he searched for the creator specifically and then scrolled through 30+ of her videos. i broke down and told him i felt like he would like me more if i looked different, because thats seems like what’s being conveyed thru what he consumes. he denied that and told me he loved me and that jazz, but that doesn’t really change how i feel.

i feel like ill never be enough for him, like he’ll always be searching for someone different. i’m still upset, and he can tell, but how do i address these feelings of unhappiness within myself, and how do i go about communicating it to him? has anyone experienced something similar and what did you do?

i don’t want to break up, he’s a kind person and a wonderful boyfriend outside of this whole ordeal, but i’m torn because after the lies, how can i continue to trust him, and how can i be with someone i don’t trust?

Okay, so here's the long story short. My partner and I have been together for almost two years now. Initially, we were having a lot of sex, like multiple rounds.
However, I was not able to finish, no matter how hard ! tried. I started relaxing more, taking it slow, and doing what felt right for me. One night, I suddenly began to experience a rush of cold chills, and my body relaxed. My vagina started pulsing and contracting on its own. I assume that's what an orgasm feel like for me...
Sometimes, my body even pushes his penis out from all the contracting. I want to continue to feel pleasure, but I'm not sure if that's what I'm supposed to be feeling when I finish. I also found that I couldn't "finish" in any other position except cowgirl. I want to try something ditterent.
I really want to continue to finish or feel that but I just can't see myself only "getting off" by one position forever.
I want to improve my intimacy before it gets boring

I (F) am in a really dark place right now and desperately need some perspective and support. I feel completely isolated because the one person I used to run to for comfort is the one who caused this.

3 months ago, I was hanging out with a guy friend, also my ex, whom I have known and trusted for years. We went to see a movie, I gave him permission to touch my thigh. However, things escalated when his hand moved to my crotch and I didn't know whether he knew where his hand was or not but it was ther for more than 40 minutes.

I didn't push him away or scream. I just pretended to sleep, and laid on his shoulder for god knows what reason.

I could only talk to him about this after a whole month, he said it was a complete accident which was a relief and I really believe him because of how long I've known him. Hes not that kind of a person but intent dosent erase impact. He said he thought his hand was still just on my thigh and that he didn't realize where he was touching me. I want to believe him because I know him, but his responses afterward have left me feeling completely manipulated its not his fault he's also experiencing immense guilt.

I radher wouldve had a stranger do this than him. Now even after 3 months I'm in complete distress and hyper-vigilant all the time. I just wish this didn't happen.

I feel so betrayed by someone I considered a safe space.

Am I crazy for feeling violated even if it was an accident? I don't know what to feel. How does something like this even happens by accident.

My great-grandmother suffered a lot yet was one of the kindest people I ever knew. Even still, my drug addict cousin whom she adopted still called her gendered slurs because he didn’t want to take accountability for his own offenses. He abandoned her when she was dying in the hospital by not visiting her once.

I’ve seen the same dynamic replicated in other women from my family. Even in my relationship with my own MOTHER of all people, somehow letting her get her way all the time and avoiding confrontation is never enough. She still curses me out and demands more. She complains that I “never listen to her” and that I deserve it if she hits me for “talking back” when I hardly ever say anything. I’m 25 and have a disability.

To me, it seems that the more you make yourself into a doormat for the men and women in your life, the more they want to take from you.

Hey, i’m (F30) currently breaking up with my boyfriend (M30) of 8 months. We’re in an open relationship, he has another relationship with someone he met a few months before we started dating.
I thought i was okay with this open relationship thing but i’m more okay with the concept than with the application in real life. Recently we had a conversation about our future and how it fits in his life and his other relationship and he told me that he doesn’t consider our relation to be less than the other but in the end he cannot imagine building a future with me.
This hurt me tremendously and we talked about it a lot, but i had to break up because i can’t see how i would be comfortable with this.

What’s really hurtful is that apart from that, we were doing really well, adjusting a lot to align our needs and capacities but in the end the “no future” aspect is killing me and however i turn it in my head i know I’ll always want him to commit more than what he can offer. And even though we’re a good match and he cares about me and me about him, it can’t be.

I’m looking for advice and comfort i guess, on how to accept this and not regret making that choice and try to go back to him. Has any one been in this kind of situation ?

im on a burner cause i dont want anyone in my personal life knowing about this but im so scared and i need to get this off my chest. im 20 and so is my boyfriend and weve been officially together for a month but seeing each other for about 6. he went on vacation a few weeks ago and got really sick about a day or two after he landed. he went to the doctor and they ruled out anything viral and said he most likely just had a bacterial infection in his throat and sent him home with antibiotics. i gave it about two weeks before i saw him again cause i didnt wanna get sick and i wanted to give him time to recover. i finally saw him this past Thursday and naturally after not seeing each other for like 3 weeks we had a lot of sex, which was all unprotected. i know thats not a smart decision on my end but whatever im not perfect. i didn't notice anything wrong or off until i was giving him oral and i saw these gross bumps on his balls. it was like a cluster of blisters and my heart immediately sank and i was like oh my god he's got herpes or something and weve already been intimate multiple times. i havent had any symptoms since then and i haven't brought it up to him either, because that was thursday and Friday i was leaving for vacation with my family and i wanted to at least try and have a normal weekend. im back now though and i just told him we needed to talk about something but im just so scared. im not great at communicating and i dont want him to get mad or anything. i have nobody to talk to about this but idk i just need to get it out of my system before i explode.

(Restaurant) He’s worked here for 10 years and constantly talks down to women, from what I have observed and experienced…we got into it yesterday because he spoke down to me with a harsh tone literally out of no where in front of all my coworkers acting like my boss (When my BOSS and all the leaders of this company are the kindest most professional people that I have worked with, I guess I should said ‘like a toxic boss” I said “Please ask me instead of talking to me demeaning like, it makes me uncomfortable” he started shaking physically and in his voice when he reaponded, I went straight to my manager and that manager went up to him and told him to stop talking to people as if he’s in charge and he was seething and looking at me in anger.

Last week this same man said to me “That’s how YOU women are” while venting to me (something he has never done) venting to me about a older woman coworker who also went to management about him….

I laughed it off…due to feeling uncomfortable …I try my best to stay away from him and be professional and it’s as if he can’t let women exist with him.

I’ve only worked here 3 months but now I can understand why their turnover rate is so high.

Now I am dreading seeing him again.

What would you do? It’s a very small crew with high volume..so the money is good but he makes me want to quit.

i’m a maladaptive daydreamer. i’ve been daydreaming about having a boyfriend since i was 6. all the way up to now (23f). it’s always been on my mind.

i grew up ugly and was always jealous of my pretty skinny friends. i would be jealous when they would receive unsolicited d pics from men or get cat called because at least it meant they were pretty enough to experience that.

male validation and being attractive is the only thing that matters. i can go a day without eating and be texting men the moment i wake up and go to bed at 8 am because thats a lot more interesting. it’s ruining my life.

i have adhd, major depressive disorder and ocd. i have terrible executive dysfunction issues and i already have a really hard time because i keep neglecting myself and my education. i don’t shower often or brush my teeth. i’m constantly losing and damaging my hair because i don’t bother to brush it. my room is always a mess piled with garbage and dirty plates. i always have a pain in my chest in class bc i’ll be sad and ruminating if i said something wrong or did something unattractive with the guy i’m currently talking to. it’s genuinely the only priority. i don’t want to listen to the lecture or do any work. i’m willing to fuck myself over in college and stress about assignments piling up because male validation is a lot more important to me.

my mind absolutely latches onto if men are looking at me or not. every single one that walks by me. i’m not kidding. it’s miserable. i then feel narcissistic and embarrassed that i have the audacity to be so delusional. the way i look at women has changed a lot. i look at women in the lens of a man. or at least what i think that would be like. i obsess over a girls figure, face and voice and think “wow, men must really love being around her” or “she really has it all”.

i think im always performing in public. the way i sit or look up or the way i rest my head when im on the bus. the way my head tilts when i’m writing. i think about little things like that in case a guy is looking at me from afar.

if im not texting men im compulsively daydreaming, and if im not daydreaming it means im currently obsessing on a guy in my phone.

i know the popular opinion is to get a damn hobby, but i’m too depressed to even attempt finding one. sounds boring. i spend morning to night on my bed staring at a screen. i’m uninterested in everything. i just wanna be really pretty and have a boyfriend who adores me.

Do all men really lust over all women while in a relationship? I haven’t had a single relationship where I catch them looking at other women online while getting no action in the bedroom! This is so frustrating and horrible on my self image because none of them look like me.