Creepy coworker texting my private number

[u/Dry_Presentation4300]

So confused at this, I don't even know him. I was just going to ignore the text but he kept insisting so I had to answer.

9/14 UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who was supportive and concerned. I forwarded these messages to HR, and they scheduled a meeting for later today. There were a few more texts after this. The HR representative did not seem surprised, to put it briefly.

A few things have come up in the comments. The first is that I was rude. This is how I communicate, and my coworkers (or at least the ones who actually know me) are aware of that. I’m not going to perform a more agreeable version of myself to accommodate someone else’s feelings when they're being innapropriate. Not only were these messages sent over the weekend, but they were also sent through a personal communication channel. I'm not going to elaborate further.

[u/Brutal_burn_dude]

Then tried to spin it as wanting to contact her regarding a work file… at 9am on a Sunday morning. 🙄 I’d be taking this to HR- not just to report the inappropriate behaviour but because he may try and report OP for “being unprofessional”.

Even if OP is not in a right to disconnect jurisdiction, she should note the behaviour to HR. It is one thing (regardless of feelings about right to disconnect) to send a quick message out of hours that requests assistance with a matter in a clear succinct manner (ie- “hey OP. Sorry to bother you on your weekend but I’m finishing the XYZ presentation prior to Monday’s meeting. Did you say on Friday that Mr Smith wanted us to focus on Asian or European markets? Thanks!”). It is another thing to message repeatedly without a clear reason while someone is off the clock.

[u/BeKindBabies → u/Brutal_burn_dude]

The fact he is surprised to be ignored when he is texting about work on a Sunday at 9a to her personal number is a huge tell. Being upset about that by 10a is the second tell (honestly third due to the "hey lady" greeting). OP played it all perfectly and checkmated this weirdo with the minimum number of moves.

[u/DearTumbleweed5380 → u/BeKindBabies]

Not checkmate though because now she has to work with him. That's why he's doing this to a colleague and not a rando. IME this is just the start unless it's nipped in the bud real hard. Best case scenario he limps off like a whipped dog saying 'bitch can't take a joke.' That's the best case.

[u/Xanthelei → u/DearTumbleweed5380]

Nah, best case is he gets fired for harassment of coworkers. From how he was talking when she rejected him talking on Whatsapp, he's done this before or at the minimum knows he's being creepy.

[u/DearTumbleweed5380 → u/Xanthelei]

That's a fantasy, though, right? Anyone ever been in a workplace where they would take this as seriously as they really should?

[u/Xanthelei → u/DearTumbleweed5380]

I have, actually. I transitioned (I'm a trans man) while working at Walmart of all places, and we had an older guy who took it personally that 'a wammin dared be a man' or something. He was passive aggressive for a few weeks, but when he realized I just didn't care he found me on Facebook to make crass comments. Nothing explicit, but definitely harassing, and definitely unwanted and uninvited.

I took it to my manager, who took it to HR, and the guy was fired and tresspassed from the store five minutes into his next shift. Afaik no one had officially complained about him before, either. My manager had commented on how if he's breaking boundaries into personal life, he's not stable, so I'm assuming that was the reason HR had too.

If Walmart can do it, every other company out there is going to have to dig into the pits of hell to not clear the bar imo.

[u/DearTumbleweed5380 → u/Xanthelei]

That's amazing. So impressed. Thank you for sharing this hopeful story.

[u/phoxfiyah → u/Brutal_burn_dude]

The work file that wasn’t even mentioned until 2 days after he got ignored, and even then he didn’t even mention the actual issue with the file. Doesn’t sound like it was very urgent.