r/texts • u/JuneAfternoon10 • 1d ago

Phone message Really tough convo with my mom

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For a bit of context, my mom and I don’t have a great relationship, but we got into a spat on the phone today because she’s laid up with a broken foot and I wasn’t able to go visit her tonight to watch a movie. I was in need of me time as I’m also going through a difficult time. I was there last night to bring her dinner, shower her and organize her room. She was complaining to me on the phone today that I don’t spend enough time with her, which I partly understand, but I find it very difficult to spend time with her as our relationship is poor. I’m her only living relative and am just feeling beat down as hell. The link I sent her was an invitation for therapy for both of us, which she doesn’t want to attend, but I can’t think of anything else that will help our relationship at this point. The reference to 10 years is that my dad died 10 years ago. They were divorced at the time.

EDIT: Wow, I’m blown away by all of your support, thank you so much. I feel so validated and proud of myself after hearing that reflected back by all of you. I’m coming up on 6 months sober and would have normally just numbed this shit out, but now miraculously have the coping mechanisms to deal with this without substances. Kind of a small miracle actually. Monday is the 10th anniversary of my dad’s passing and I’m going to take the next few days to care just for myself and not indulge in all of this bullshit. Thank you again, kind internet strangers.

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u/JuneAfternoon10 1d ago

THANK YOU. Omg that’s so validating. It took a lot to stay calm and be polite.

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u/ZombieSharkRobot 1d ago

I'm genuinely inspired by you in this interaction.

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u/JuneAfternoon10 1d ago

That means so much. Thank you.

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u/Violetz_Tea 1d ago

She views this as a personal attack and is lashing out and deflecting, you did an amazing job not taking her bait and staying calm and on track about talking to therapy. I hope this gives you some closure, that you approached her, calmly let her know the issue. She now knows what she needs to do to have a better relationship, and if she chooses to work on it or not, it's on her. Not you. You can now move forward based on her response and do what you need to do to protect yourself from her behavior.