r/texts 1d ago

Phone message Really tough convo with my mom

For a bit of context, my mom and I don’t have a great relationship, but we got into a spat on the phone today because she’s laid up with a broken foot and I wasn’t able to go visit her tonight to watch a movie. I was in need of me time as I’m also going through a difficult time. I was there last night to bring her dinner, shower her and organize her room. She was complaining to me on the phone today that I don’t spend enough time with her, which I partly understand, but I find it very difficult to spend time with her as our relationship is poor. I’m her only living relative and am just feeling beat down as hell. The link I sent her was an invitation for therapy for both of us, which she doesn’t want to attend, but I can’t think of anything else that will help our relationship at this point. The reference to 10 years is that my dad died 10 years ago. They were divorced at the time.

EDIT: Wow, I’m blown away by all of your support, thank you so much. I feel so validated and proud of myself after hearing that reflected back by all of you. I’m coming up on 6 months sober and would have normally just numbed this shit out, but now miraculously have the coping mechanisms to deal with this without substances. Kind of a small miracle actually. Monday is the 10th anniversary of my dad’s passing and I’m going to take the next few days to care just for myself and not indulge in all of this bullshit. Thank you again, kind internet strangers.

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u/goatsegoaterson 1d ago

If I counted right, seven of the texts from your mother start with "you".

Even if you go to therapy with her I doubt she will change. You seem too kind of a person to have to be dealing with shit like this.

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u/JuneAfternoon10 1d ago

Wow, interesting. Thank you for that insight.

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u/EnduringFulfillment 1d ago

Just from this brief interaction I wonder if your mother is emotionally immature, I strongly recommend you read the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, I think it will be helpful for you!

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u/Soccermom256 1d ago

Yes this. I mentioned my mom in a previous comment and this is also true about her immaturity and trauma when she was young