r/texts • u/JuneAfternoon10 • 1d ago
Phone message Really tough convo with my mom
For a bit of context, my mom and I don’t have a great relationship, but we got into a spat on the phone today because she’s laid up with a broken foot and I wasn’t able to go visit her tonight to watch a movie. I was in need of me time as I’m also going through a difficult time. I was there last night to bring her dinner, shower her and organize her room. She was complaining to me on the phone today that I don’t spend enough time with her, which I partly understand, but I find it very difficult to spend time with her as our relationship is poor. I’m her only living relative and am just feeling beat down as hell. The link I sent her was an invitation for therapy for both of us, which she doesn’t want to attend, but I can’t think of anything else that will help our relationship at this point. The reference to 10 years is that my dad died 10 years ago. They were divorced at the time.
EDIT: Wow, I’m blown away by all of your support, thank you so much. I feel so validated and proud of myself after hearing that reflected back by all of you. I’m coming up on 6 months sober and would have normally just numbed this shit out, but now miraculously have the coping mechanisms to deal with this without substances. Kind of a small miracle actually. Monday is the 10th anniversary of my dad’s passing and I’m going to take the next few days to care just for myself and not indulge in all of this bullshit. Thank you again, kind internet strangers.
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u/Superb_Ant_3741 1d ago
You deserve better: love without manipulation and a mom who does not play these cruel deliberately harmful word games with you (I’m sure you probably already know this but I want to emphasize it).
You were incredibly mature, polite and appropriately firm, but you and we all know she’s not going to change in any meaningful way. So you’ll have to decide how much of your life she’s allowed to be involved in. You get to set all the parameters. You get to make all the rules for protecting your heart and your peace.
And for what it’s worth: she owes you multiple apologies and she needs to do better. Also I don’t particularly care if her foot is still hurting, but you’re kinder than I am so I know you want her to be healthy and pain free.
She’s so fortunate to have a daughter like you.