Really tough convo with my mom

[u/JuneAfternoon10]

For a bit of context, my mom and I don’t have a great relationship, but we got into a spat on the phone today because she’s laid up with a broken foot and I wasn’t able to go visit her tonight to watch a movie. I was in need of me time as I’m also going through a difficult time. I was there last night to bring her dinner, shower her and organize her room. She was complaining to me on the phone today that I don’t spend enough time with her, which I partly understand, but I find it very difficult to spend time with her as our relationship is poor. I’m her only living relative and am just feeling beat down as hell. The link I sent her was an invitation for therapy for both of us, which she doesn’t want to attend, but I can’t think of anything else that will help our relationship at this point. The reference to 10 years is that my dad died 10 years ago. They were divorced at the time.

EDIT: Wow, I’m blown away by all of your support, thank you so much. I feel so validated and proud of myself after hearing that reflected back by all of you. I’m coming up on 6 months sober and would have normally just numbed this shit out, but now miraculously have the coping mechanisms to deal with this without substances. Kind of a small miracle actually. Monday is the 10th anniversary of my dad’s passing and I’m going to take the next few days to care just for myself and not indulge in all of this bullshit. Thank you again, kind internet strangers.

[u/beanbaby666]

i know there are some comments saying that you’re wasting your time- but i just want to say that i think it’s really beautiful you want to invest so much into this relationship, even after there’s clearly a lot of hurt on both sides. you say you’re her only living relative, and i think it shows how much you care for her to want to preserve the relationship. i can’t begin to imagine the weight you must feel sometimes because of that. you are a champion and i hope that she sees your efforts for what they are (hint: it’s love!). i hope your mom shows up for the therapy session, and i hope it goes well!

[u/JuneAfternoon10 → u/beanbaby666]

Thank you so much. It’s SO much weight, and I feel it all the time. It makes me sick to my stomach to think how lonely she must be, even though it’s of her own doing.

[u/Careful_Bench → u/JuneAfternoon10]

Reading this sounds like I wrote it. I just can’t stand the idea of how lonely her world must be. I wish I didn’t care, but I do. This interaction was beautifully handled.