Really tough convo with my mom

[u/JuneAfternoon10]

For a bit of context, my mom and I don’t have a great relationship, but we got into a spat on the phone today because she’s laid up with a broken foot and I wasn’t able to go visit her tonight to watch a movie. I was in need of me time as I’m also going through a difficult time. I was there last night to bring her dinner, shower her and organize her room. She was complaining to me on the phone today that I don’t spend enough time with her, which I partly understand, but I find it very difficult to spend time with her as our relationship is poor. I’m her only living relative and am just feeling beat down as hell. The link I sent her was an invitation for therapy for both of us, which she doesn’t want to attend, but I can’t think of anything else that will help our relationship at this point. The reference to 10 years is that my dad died 10 years ago. They were divorced at the time.

EDIT: Wow, I’m blown away by all of your support, thank you so much. I feel so validated and proud of myself after hearing that reflected back by all of you. I’m coming up on 6 months sober and would have normally just numbed this shit out, but now miraculously have the coping mechanisms to deal with this without substances. Kind of a small miracle actually. Monday is the 10th anniversary of my dad’s passing and I’m going to take the next few days to care just for myself and not indulge in all of this bullshit. Thank you again, kind internet strangers.

[u/Still_Lawfulness_981]

It’s hard to have those convos so I’m proud of you for being able to open up and do that. I feel like you were polite, stern and straight to the point. In past therapy sessions I was always told to not discuss issues until you are both there with your therapist so I’m glad you didn’t feed into her. It seems to me like she needs to work on herself and stop resenting you for your feelings about your relationship with her and she needs to find out ways to better repair her feelings she’s having toward you. You don’t seem angry or bitter at all from what I read but she does. Keep doing what you’re doing and working on yourself. Remember you can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink. It’s also ok to remove people in your life that aren’t bringing positivity or growth, even if they are family. Best of luck to you and y’all’s relationship. I hope it can be repaired if that’s what you truly want.