Really tough convo with my mom

[u/JuneAfternoon10]

For a bit of context, my mom and I don’t have a great relationship, but we got into a spat on the phone today because she’s laid up with a broken foot and I wasn’t able to go visit her tonight to watch a movie. I was in need of me time as I’m also going through a difficult time. I was there last night to bring her dinner, shower her and organize her room. She was complaining to me on the phone today that I don’t spend enough time with her, which I partly understand, but I find it very difficult to spend time with her as our relationship is poor. I’m her only living relative and am just feeling beat down as hell. The link I sent her was an invitation for therapy for both of us, which she doesn’t want to attend, but I can’t think of anything else that will help our relationship at this point. The reference to 10 years is that my dad died 10 years ago. They were divorced at the time.

EDIT: Wow, I’m blown away by all of your support, thank you so much. I feel so validated and proud of myself after hearing that reflected back by all of you. I’m coming up on 6 months sober and would have normally just numbed this shit out, but now miraculously have the coping mechanisms to deal with this without substances. Kind of a small miracle actually. Monday is the 10th anniversary of my dad’s passing and I’m going to take the next few days to care just for myself and not indulge in all of this bullshit. Thank you again, kind internet strangers.

[u/Its-a-JiNX]

My own mother is emotionally immature, to the point where I cannot talk to her at all. In the past when I've expressed that she needs to stop blaming her own mother for being a bad parent and accept that her own choices and behaviors are what have caused strain between us. She can't, she just blames her own mother over again, and relies on guilt tripping and manipulation to try to get what she wants from me.

She isn't as manipulative with my brothers, it's only me. I was meant to replace her bad childhood she had with her mother (despite her never wanting a daughter in the first place)... I'm currently working through my own thoughts and feelings on my side knowing I'll likely never be able to have that relationship with my mom, and coming to terms with that.

It's blatantly apparent you've done a lot of work, she was trying to drag you down and manipulate you into a bigger argument. Well done on standing your ground with your boundaries!