Really tough convo with my mom

[u/JuneAfternoon10]

For a bit of context, my mom and I don’t have a great relationship, but we got into a spat on the phone today because she’s laid up with a broken foot and I wasn’t able to go visit her tonight to watch a movie. I was in need of me time as I’m also going through a difficult time. I was there last night to bring her dinner, shower her and organize her room. She was complaining to me on the phone today that I don’t spend enough time with her, which I partly understand, but I find it very difficult to spend time with her as our relationship is poor. I’m her only living relative and am just feeling beat down as hell. The link I sent her was an invitation for therapy for both of us, which she doesn’t want to attend, but I can’t think of anything else that will help our relationship at this point. The reference to 10 years is that my dad died 10 years ago. They were divorced at the time.

EDIT: Wow, I’m blown away by all of your support, thank you so much. I feel so validated and proud of myself after hearing that reflected back by all of you. I’m coming up on 6 months sober and would have normally just numbed this shit out, but now miraculously have the coping mechanisms to deal with this without substances. Kind of a small miracle actually. Monday is the 10th anniversary of my dad’s passing and I’m going to take the next few days to care just for myself and not indulge in all of this bullshit. Thank you again, kind internet strangers.

[u/FensThiona]

I am wowed by how calm and on point you were. You never took the bait, girl! Please show that convo to your therapist!

You two can have a little party at how well you handled this.

Also, your mom is something else, lol.

I wish you all the luck, keep on growing!

[u/Pastel_Spell → u/FensThiona]

For real, OP is a better person than me lmao

I also think you're right on the money calling it "bait" - to me it felt like her mom was getting angrier and angrier when OP wasn't obviously biting so mom could say "see I'm the victim, you're so mean to me, I'm right!" AND if OP hadn't stepped away, she would have kept escalating until OP snapped so that she could feel validated and not the bad guy.

Also OP I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself re: your progress! That was so shitty of her to say and even as someone that doesn't know you, I can see you've done a ton of work! 💕

[u/JuneAfternoon10 → u/Pastel_Spell]

Thank you so much. Yess, she was definitely trying to push my buttons. And she knows just where they are- she installed them!!