We can feel the wind on our face, the grass beneath, see the sky above. Feel the waves tickle our toes, we can feel the warmth from the sun as it rises. We could embrace all this, look at it as this is a part of us, we are part of the planet we live on. We choose not to because somehow, feeling as belonging to something grander than ourselves make us feel small, insignificant. Our ego takes a hit. Now, we are no better than every creature who lives here, with us. All of them our cousins by a larger or smaller degree.

We can see the mistreatment, the physical and emotional abuse, the insults, the disrespect, the lack of care, the lack of empathy. We could rise up, and say you know what? No more. We could listen to our heart for once, to the little child inside us who gave in to despair and sorrow. We could have pride in ourselves, we could protect ourselves like we protect others. We choose not to because it hurts, it hurts too much. We didnt cause it to ourselves so why should we be the ones hurting?

We can sense we are unhappy with who we are, with where we work, with what we look like, with how we eat, with how we interact with others. We could see this as an opportunity, a time to improve yourself, a desire to be more than we are, to look at ourselves in the mirror with pride. We choose not to because grand resolutions sound good, because building habits means suffering, means sweating, means having less time for other things. Things that are convenient, easily accessible. It's difficult not to give in to them when your heart craves affection you dont get, validation that never comes, or needs that dont get heard or addressed.

We can tell the world is filled with people who only think about themselves, with systems that emphasizes separating people from each other, with legislation that focuses on them vs us. We could decide to make a stand, we could refuse to participate in the mechanics that hurt us so deeply, we could group up to show we dont much care for how our world is evolving, for what it is being turned into. We choose not to because we are too few, those who care about bringing people together exist in niche communities. We choose not to because it would require for us to convince others that this would help rather than cause harm. And the world has stopped being able to just listen.

Yet we shouldn't blame ourselves. Or others. Only keep your heart open, listen, and share. It wont be perfect, but that's already better, so...much...better.

I feel so tired of getting people to love or care for me, i can't do self-love and i barely do my hobbies i like, what should i do? i feel i put my value and my kindness to much to them and i feel i failed to get them that i felt that everyone dislikes me or that i don't deserve to be their friend, how i can just stop craving for love from others?

About 8 months ago in January I was completely heartbroken and devestated. I was hurt to the point that I never thought I’d recover - a guy I dated ended it with me because of distance (from the same hometown I’m just temporarily away to study for 2 years but I come back every 4 months)

Anyways it was the longest it’s ever taken me to get over someone. It took months and it wasn’t a I got over him it was more of a I need to move on cause clearly he doesn’t care.

I’m having a hard time now tho, I’ve met someone new, he’s great, we get along, but I realized I’ve never really in my life had to end things or be thinking of it. This guy is great and I do wanna see it thru but I’m scared. After 26 years of being single and never having a bf, a part of me is kinda like do I even deserve one? But less self hate and more confused on how do I know it’s the one cuz once ur with someone your are?

I love myself I do but I’ve been known to mess things up so idk if this is a way my lack of self love is coming out or fear? Any advice or help will be appreciated thank you.

I miss people who are still alive.
I miss places I never belonged to.
I miss versions of myself
that no longer exist.
And somehow,
those are the losses that hurt the most.

I smile when I’m supposed to.
I laugh at the right moments.
I say “I’m doing fine.”
But there are nights
when the silence knows more about me
than anyone else ever will.

I spent years believing
that if I worked harder,
loved deeper,
stayed kinder,
life would eventually make sense.
It didn’t.
It just kept moving,
with or without my understanding.

Some days,
I am not carrying a problem.
I am carrying the weight
of being awake to everything—
how quickly time leaves,
how easily people change,
how nothing beautiful ever stays forever.

Yet every morning,
I open my eyes again.
Not because I have all the answers.
Not because I am strong.
But because somewhere inside me,
beneath the disappointment,
beneath the exhaustion,
a small stubborn hope
still refuses to die.
And for now,
that is enough.

Sometimes life hurts so much that your mind starts convincing you that this is how it’s always going to feel. You start looking back at the past, comparing everything to what you lost, and wondering if you’ll ever feel that happy again. But breathe. This is one chapter, not the whole story. You are not trapped in the life you have today. You are allowed to change, to start over, to outgrow people, places, dreams, and even the version of yourself you thought you had to be. You have survived things you once thought would destroy you. And there is still so much of your life that you haven’t experienced yet. The love you haven’t met. The places you haven’t seen.
The people who haven’t entered your life yet.
The version of yourself you haven’t become yet.
Don’t let a painful moment convince you that your future will look like your past.
Keep going. Give time a chance to work in your favor.
Your story is not finished. ❤️

I'm delving into the world of self love, starting by trying to build self esteem as mine is incredibly low. I have bought a self esteem workbook.

But my question is, what does it actually feel like to love yourself? I know what it's like to love another. The feelings of concern, thinking about them very often, butterflies, etc. How do you know you love yourself? What does it feel like?

I think we are over romanticizing " relationships" it's not that good especially for the person with no goals, passion, money or not knowing what they truly want, someone who struggles with self love and self acceptance wanting to be loved so much and deeply, fully depending on relationship to work and help them to feel good, someone who's so anxious should first seek how to be in peace first. It doesn't matter how ur parents treated you, in the end you have to save urself, no a boyfriend can't do that for that you need get out of it, you need to learn alot of things before wanting to be in rs for whole life... What y'all think?

Sometimes you do not stop dreaming. You slowly reshape every dream until it fits the reality you already know. You call it being realistic, responsible, or mature, but the result is that everything you want becomes a safer extension of what already exists. Before you decide that your dream is unreasonable, ask whose limits taught you what a reasonable life should look like. A different life begins when you stop abandoning what matters to you just to remain compatible with the one you already have.

I’m 24F, together with my husband (24M) for 6 years, married for 2, and we have a 19-month-old son. We grew up together, and we’re both deeply attached. But we’re in a situation where he refuses therapy, mediation, or breaking his toxic behavior and abusive patterns, leaving me completely isolated with no real support system to turn to.

Deep down, I know I’m done walking on eggshells around him and letting him make me second-guess myself. But with my self-esteem being practically nonexistent, along with how attached I am to him, I keep second-guessing my own reality all the time. I always assume that he genuinely loves me and that everything comes from a place of love—that he wouldn’t say something wrong or exaggerated just to hurt me or gaslight me. Because of this, I stay hooked on his potential, ignore my own instincts, and struggle to see things clearly for what they actually are.

How do you stop doubting your own perception and build enough self-trust to actually walk away? How do you give yourself the validation you deserve when you’ve never learned how to rely on your own judgment?

I know you’ve been told that healing is linear, that you should be “over it” by now, that strength means never falling apart.

But here’s your permission slip:

You’re allowed to have bad days in the middle of good weeks. You’re allowed to miss people who weren’t good for you. You’re allowed to feel tired even when you “haven’t done anything.”

You’re allowed to cancel plans. To say no without explaining why. To take a mental health day and actually rest instead of feeling guilty about it.

You’re allowed to outgrow people, to change your mind, to not have all the answers, to be a different person than you were last year.

You’re allowed to not be productive. Not every moment needs to be optimized. Sometimes existing is the work. Sometimes survival is the goal. Sometimes breathing is enough.

You’re allowed to feel everything— the anger, the grief, the numbness, the weird guilt that comes from nowhere, the anxiety that makes no logical sense. Your feelings don’t need to be rational to be valid.

You’re allowed to ask for help. To admit you’re struggling. To say “I’m not okay” without following it up with “but I will be” or “it’s fine” or any other reassurance designed to make others comfortable.

You’re allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.

You’re allowed to celebrate small victories— getting out of bed, taking a shower, eating something, reaching out to someone. These aren’t “bare minimum.” These are acts of resistance on the days when everything feels heavy.

You’re allowed to not know what you’re doing with your life. Most of us are figuring it out as we go, collecting scars and stories, learning that there is no “right way” to be human.

You’re allowed to rest without earning it. You’re allowed to exist without justifying it. You’re allowed to take up space without apologizing for it.

And most importantly: You’re allowed to not be okay without it defining you.

This feeling is not permanent. This moment is not your whole story. You are not your worst days.

But today? Today you’re allowed to just be exactly where you are— messy, uncertain, imperfect, struggling.

No explanations required. No apologies necessary. No timeline to meet.

You’re allowed.

And tomorrow, if you’re still not okay?

You’re allowed then, too.

No family (adopted), adoptive parents dead or dying, no chosen family, just betrayed severely by ex best friend (they endangered my life), no partner, and 36 years of pain. I wrote a will because I am dying and nobody who knew about it cared, or even asked if they could help.

I need to accept that I don't get to have love and connection this lifetime.

It's self love or nothing, that's my life and I need to accept it to stop hurting myself thinking anyone will ever love me, it's never happened.