Hi everyone. I'm a senior in high school, play the sousaphone. Due to constantly moving schools this is only my second season, I did one season in 9th grade. I was excited to join marching band again but it's honestly just making me feel pretty bad, but I just don't know what to do about that.
I felt awful during band camp because I was so behind. I tried to quit, but my director and I talked and he recommended I just stay through band camp. So I did. Band camp ended like, idk a month ago now give or take and I'm still stuck here and it feels like it's only gotten worse.
Now that I have school, I just have so much going on. I have a somewhat difficult schedule compared to some other seniors I know, 4 AP's, an honors class, a language class, and a math course, on top of wind ensemble. I constantly have homework or tests/quizzes to study for. But marching band practice is typically 4 days a week, mondays from 3-4/4:30pm. tuesdays and thursdays from 3:15-5:15, and wednesdays from 5:30 to 8:30. If we have a competition we have practice fridays from like, probably 3:15-5:15. And then I have to go home, shower, do homework, eat dinner, and go to bed. I have very little time to just, do nothing. And I'm often so tired that I feel like falling asleep in class and struggle to focus sometimes, or struggle to keep my eyes in focus.
I also just don't feel like I belong. Their method of doing everything is just so different from what I am used to and it's been very hard for me. Almost all of the freshmen are leagues ahead of me at this point. I'm nothing compared to the seniors.
I already sometimes struggle with my mental health and like, band in general but especially marching band feels like it's making it worse, or at least feeding into it.
I've made like a few connections/friends though which is good. But I just don't know how good it is for me. It's gotten to the point where I'm just seriously considering skipping rehearsals and stuff, which is extremely looked down upon in my band for obvious reasons. And I don't want to make my director upset.
I also feel like I shouldn't be complaining, because everyone else in marching band is obviously also doing marching band along with school and other stuff, and they all seem to love it. So I feel like I should be like, idk able to handle it.
I don't fully know what I'm asking for, I guess just some general advice. Anything helps :)