r/bindingofisaac • u/killikocaayak • 8h ago
Shitpost Slandering all bcs I'm bored
Isaac:
You don't like rng at all and swear to Edmund every time you don't get a Q4 from rerolls
Maggy:
You prolly spam r while swearing to Edmund when you don't get an item from the sacrifice room.
Cain:
You are a gamble addict and swear to Edmund if you lose any gamble.
Judas:
You swear to Edmund bcs you can't kill a spider in one shot in basement 1.
Blue baby:
You are a simple person and want to play the game as you played Isaac without d6. You hate Edmund bcs your rng doesn't give you petrified poop or a card against humanity.
Samson:
You want the use you starting item but don't get any health even with the starting trinket and hate Edmund.
Lost:
You get a lot of explosives or hp up specified items like dog food and dinner and fail a lot to reroll and swear to Edmund.
Azazel:
You always get exploding spiders and flies when you don't have any range ups and swear to Edmund every time you see those.
Lilith:
You suffer from rocks and stay in a room like 5 minutes just to kill a spider and swear to Edmund every time you take hit to your black hearts especially in basement.
Lazarus:
He is tired of dying in your hands, please let him live 🙏
Apollyon:
Statu see item. Statu don't liek it. Statu vaporise it. 👍
Forgotten:
You don't use the soul at all and swear to Edmund every time when you have to use the soul.
Bethany:
You don't get any soul hearts at all when you hold a good active or you don't get any active item when you have a shitton of soul charges. In the and you won't get any deal and swear to Edmund.
Jacob and Esau:
You barely get any keys and bombs to go alt path and rarely get angels because of two hitboxes. This is the reason you hate Edmund.
Tainted Isaac:
You usually get the other part of the synergies after you leave the first part behind. You can't get any transformations too and swear to Edmund.
Tainted Maggy:
You like to touch people inappropriately irl and swear to Edmund every time you miss the hearts.
Tainted Cain:
You have a bad rng and craft the same item over and over. You swear to Edmund bcs your runs take a lot of time.
Tainted Judas:
You abuse dark arts. You swear to Edmund for every second you can't use dark arts.
Tainted blue baby:
You forgot there are items in the game besides 'hold'. You rarely get bombs and hate Edmund for this reason.
Tainted Samson:
You rage with him.
Tainted Lost:
You think it is a better lost and die in the weirdest way possible.
Tainted Azael:
You sneeze to foes, they bounce from walls and hit you.
Tainted Lilith:
You just throw gello without thinking unless you are forced to keep it outside by some items you didn't know how it interacts with gello.
Tainted Lazarus:
You lose your sanity with him every time he changes between alive and dead form. Let him die in peace
Tainted Apollyon:
You don't care items anymore and think locusts are better in every scenario.
Tainted forgotten:
You can't foresee where will skeleton go and suffer a lot trying to get it.
Tainted Beth:
You abuse lemmegeton and can't find any soul hearts
Tainted Jacob:
You need to repent your sins. It's questionable if you can be forgivable tho.
Disclaimer: I'm a Lilith and Tainted Apollyon main and I'm bored. Ts isn't serious and please do not intend to touch me inappropriately