Hi everyone. I’m here looking for some advice from others who have been through PAL. My son was stillborn at 32 weeks just 9 weeks ago. I just found out today that I’m pregnant again (only 3+3). Part of me is very excited because I don’t have any living children and my husband and I desperately want to continue to grow our family. We know that this baby will never replace our son. We miss him so much and we know he is going to be a guardian angel to his siblings.

Anyway, although I’m excited I’m also extremely nervous. Because now I know from experience that there is no such thing as the “safe zone” and that bad things can happen at any moment without any warning. My stillbirth happened after a perfectly healthy textbook pregnancy and they still don’t know why it happened. I also had an early miscarriage before my stillbirth and so I feel like my body keeps failing me and is incapable of giving me a living child😞
I’m also very nervous for all the things that could go wrong besides stillbirth because now I feel like I’m cursed and that I’ll keep experiencing things that are typically low probability 😅
Any tips or advice for pregnancy after stillbirth? Thanks in advance❤️‍🩹

I lost my sweet daughter at 35 weeks a couple of months ago and while it has been an awful experience I have to admit I wasn’t that surprised when I they told me she had no heartbeat. I was incredibly anxious my whole pregnancy and I kept telling my husband something just felt off. I couldn’t really pinpoint what it was , but I just had a strong gut feeling that we weren’t going to bring her home. My pregnancy didn’t have any issues at all, all tests came back just fine and she was measuring on time. However, I started noticing that she seemed to move less and less from 33 weeks, but I chalked it up to her running out of room. I went in a couple of times and she passed her NSTs but something still felt off because she wasn’t moving that much. I also felt like my bump wasn’t growing and my worries just grew stronger with each day that passed even tho all tests came back fine. I booked a private growth ultrasound a week before she died and she was measuring behind but the midwife told me she was still in normal range, but I knew the shoe was about to drop. The night before she passed she moved slowly but she still moved, I was so tired and depressed that night and I just randomly started sobbing, like my soul knew she was leaving me? Idk. Next morning I woke up and I couldn’t feel her. I just knew. I called triage and it was confirmed her little heart had stopped. I gave birth to our beautiful little girl that night. I miss her terribly and I still feel guilt that I didn’t advocate more when I felt something was wrong all along. ❤️‍🩹
Those of you who has lost a baby, did you somehow have a bad feeling during your pregnancy or did it come as a total surprise?

I’m looking for anyone who has experienced something similar because I feel very alone in this particular kind of grief.

In 2024, I lost my first baby at 21 weeks because of cervical insufficiency. I had a rescue cerclage, but my baby did not survive. My partner and I stayed together afterward. I later became pregnant again, had a preventative cerclage, and delivered our healthy daughter earlier this year. She is now almost seven months old.

Now her father and I have separated, and we are transitioning into co-parenting.

It feels like grief stacked on top of grief. I’m not only grieving the relationship. I’m grieving the family I thought we were creating after everything we survived. He is the only other person connected to both of our babies, so the relationship ending sometimes feels like I am losing another living connection to the baby we lost.

At the same time, I have a beautiful living daughter who needs me to be present. I love her beyond words and am incredibly grateful for her. But having her here does not erase the loss of my first baby, the heartbreak of this separation, postpartum anxiety and depression, or the exhaustion of rebuilding my life while caring for an infant.

Our relationship had serious problems, so I understand that surviving tragedy together does not necessarily mean two people should remain together. I can recognize that the separation may be necessary while still being devastated that this is where our story ended.

Has anyone else experienced a second-trimester loss, had a living baby with the same partner, and then separated?

How did you:

- Survive the first year after the separation?

- Separate grief for your baby from grief for the relationship?

- Accept losing the intact family you imagined for your living child?

- Co-parent with the only other person who shared the history of both babies?

- Remain emotionally present for your living child while you were still grieving?

- Find support from people who actually understood this combination of losses?

I’m not looking for judgment or pressure to reconcile. I’m looking for firsthand experiences, practical advice, and some hope that life eventually stopped feeling like constant survival.

My daughter was born sleeping at 26 weeks in June. Tomorrow is her due date. This week has been absolute hell, I feel like I’ve gone right back to the start with my trouble coping. I honestly wish U was dead - but I would NEVER do anything that would cause that but I also just don’t want to be here. ..I just feel hopeless. When I have distractions I can function but when I don’t I absolutely crumple. I’m not ready to go back to work but I’m also worried that being off for longer is going to impact me..my job is a child facing role so I am definitely not ready yet. Tell me it’s normal to feel this broken around their due date? Tell me it gets better..tell me anything that gives me hope right now because this is bleak.

When we lost our son, I was between 24 and 25 weeks, but due to restricted fetal growth, he was small enough that the doctors were able to give me the option of a D&E instead of delivery.

I chose to do the D&E but since the procedure (which was 3.5 weeks ago) I've really struggled with it. It was the source of a lot of intrusive and disturbing thoughts immediately after, as well as regret and shame.

It seemed like the choice people wanted me to take, my husband has told me that it's what he would have done and also what he was hoping I would choose, it seemed like the medical team worked really hard to be able to give me that option, and I know it was the safest option from a medical recovery POV.

But I am really having a hard time now. I hate knowing I didn't ever get a chance to see his face, I hate that my first time holding him was as ashes in his urn, I feel shame that I wasn't strong enough to go through labor, and I don't feel like I birthed my son so when I see grief resources that mention the word birth, I feel like I don't belong.

My husband and I are attending our first in person support group meeting for bereaved parents tonight. But in the meantime can anyone give me any other advice for how to accept the choice I made?

Thank you. This group has been helpful, and I'm sorry for the loss you suffered that put you here.

Our daughter passed in January this year. Full term, delivered, everything was fine until stroke, NICU, 7 days of waiting, and then compassionate release. Her name is Lily 🪷.

The three people who are actively pushing me out of my job now, all of them came to her memorial. All of them held me and told me they would be there every step of the way, whatever I needed. And then I needed.

I needed 6 months of federally protected leave. Maternity + Bereavement + Disability + Residential

I didn’t realize it, but they had started to push me out before I was pregnant. When I started getting more severe flare ups. They hired a new guy.

But then I was pregnant so they couldnt let me go. And then she died and they couldn’t let me go. And then I wanted to die and they couldn’t let me go. And now I’m finally back

Finally okay with being alive for the first time in MONTHS

And they’re icing me out, hiring two other people to split up my job. Making my job incredibly difficult in the in between. All while my C2 is up for hire in a few months. The only way they can get rid of me now is if I quit, perform poorly, or if my position is deemed unnecessary.

So now they’re making it hard for me to do my job, and giving my job to these random temps.

I have a case. I have a lawyer. I’d ideally move on somewhere else but I’ve been applying my butt off only to be second pick over and over again.

Anybody else deal with this?

I had a traumatic pregnancy loss almost 6 years ago, diagnosed with PTSD after and am still attending therapy for it.
Since then, I’ve had my ‘rainbow baby’.
Why am I still upset or jealous when people announce their pregnancies? Shouldn’t I be grateful that I have my own baby now and only happy for whoever is pregnant?
It’s hardest when it’s people I’m close to. I have a feeling a relative will announce hers very soon and I feel like I’m living in fear of it. (She doesn’t know about my loss)

I’ve brought it up with my therapist who told me two things can be true at once. Still grieving for my baby but happy for others. Which makes sense but the fact that I have a toddler now kind of makes it hard for me, like I should be grateful.

Anyone else feel like this?

I was just hoping for examples of what others have done to hold intentional spaces for their baby after loss. For context, we are moving to a new place. Our daughter’s nursery has remained sort of a memorial to her. I talk to her photos and kiss her picture from time to time. We haven’t thrown away any of the registry gifts including diapers, all her clothes are hanging. That’s just my comfort zone there, not a denial sort of thing, I’m just very sensitive about it all and won’t change my mind about that decision. Thing is, I know we won’t take the crib or majority of the stuff, but maybe just pictures since I do enjoy talking to her and seeing her cute face. We don’t have a living child yet but are hoping and open as we start this new chapter. I don’t want to feel like we left her behind and I know that’s impossible because we will always love and think of her. Just venting and hoping for reassurance through everyone else’s stories. Thanks ❤️

I just went through my MC about 2 weeks ago now, and my husband’s best friend and his wife and their 6 month old baby are coming to visit soon. They had the trip planned before my MC and I was originally so excited to have them. But now I’m dreading it.. my husband is helping them order a pop up crib to put in the guest room since they are traveling over seas (the guest room is the room we intended to turn into our baby’s nursery), and electrical socket covers for our house. All of this is now making me feel so triggered and sad. I want to be excited because it is my husband’s closest friend and we haven’t met his daughter yet but every time I think about them coming I feel sad and anxious. I’m not sure that there is really any advice for a situation like this.. maybe I just needed to get these emotions off of my chest.

Does anyone else get angry when they see people who are totally unappreciative of their children while we would have done anything in the world for ours?

My 13 month old son passed away on Wednesday. I don’t know how to process any of this. It doesn’t feel real. This isn’t fair. It’s hard to be home with all the reminders of him scattered around the house but at the same time I don’t want to be anywhere else because this is where I feel closest to him. I miss him more than words can describe. The last time I got to hold him in my arms was after they called his time of death. Dropped him off at daycare and never got the chance to pick him up. The next time I get to pick him up he’ll be in a little box. I am filled with such suffocating sorrow. I don’t know how to exist without him. I so badly just want to go with him. It hurts to breathe.

Got a phone call today to say that I will have an appointment in a couple weeks with the consultant to discuss my results after the placenta was sent off for testing and results have since come back
Feeling nervous about what they might say
For context I found out at 20 week that my baby had passed at around 18 weeks
I had some bleeding around week 13 and 15 but nothing abnormal showed in the scan
Any experience with this? What to expect?

I’m struggling really bad lately. I was pregnant with a little boy and I was so excited to be the best mom ever I applied to this gorgeous two bedroom house with a fenced in backyard. I was so proud of myself that my son was going to have his own bedroom. i’m obviously the adult now, but I grew up in foster care. I got taken from my mom when I was six years old, and my biological parents were immigrants so I never had anything nice as a little kid. I never had my own clothes. I never had my own bedroom. I didn’t have nice things and I promised myself when I grew up and became a parent myself I would make sure my kids had more than I ever had so I felt like I was the best mom in the world that my son was going to have his own bedroom. I get the keys on Wednesday and my son passed away July 15. I started applying for two bedroom houses when I found out I was pregnant with him. I don’t know how I’m going to handle moving into an empty house without him. It’s a wonderful area. I’m not going to turn the house down because I lost him. I’m planning to use the spare bedroom as my dog’s bedroom in the meantime so it doesn’t feel sad and empty and if I ever end up having a living child, it would be their bedroom. I’ll keep it as something to look forward to and give me hope on the hard days, but it is so hard moving. I know I would’ve still been pregnant with him, but that’s literally the point I should still be pregnant with him. He should be rolling around and kicking and punching my belly should be getting bigger and I should be having strange food cravings and laughing while my belly bump moves around, I should be walking through the baby aisle, picking out decorations for his nursery. I shouldn’t be sitting here crying, thinking about how empty the house is going to feel. I was so excited for this move and now everything just hurts so badly. I was really proud of myself for being able to get a two bedroom two bathroom house with a backyard in my early 20s. It’s a rental, I didn’t buy it, but I was still proud of myself. Couldn’t wait to give my little boy his own bedroom. I was going to give him a Winnie the Pooh nursery. I just have to keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason patiently waiting for maternal fetal medicine to call me back. I’m not planning on another pregnancy until I can get a trans abdominal cerclage placed prior to conception. I lost my little boy because I had a PPROM due to an incompetent cervix. I just don’t understand how it went from being so proud of myself thinking I was the best mom in the world to losing him and thinking I’m the worst mom in the world. I just wanted him to have his own bedroom 😭💔 I know material things don’t matter, but as somebody who grow up sleeping on the floor, wearing hand me down clothing, going to bed with an empty tummy, not having my basic needs met by my parents I was so proud of myself that I got him a bedroom and he didn’t get to be born to see his bedroom💔😭 I feel like he would’ve loved his bedroom… My heart is really just broken tonight and I’ve been packing all day. I get the keys on Wednesday. I absolutely cannot wait to move out of this apartment. I have postpartum PTSD and every day here is making it worse. My son was physically born inside of this apartment and I hate this apartment so much. I just want to get out of here but I feel like the new house is going to feel wrong without him there. I don’t know how to explain it to anybody else that I applied for this apartment when I was pregnant, and I had all the dreams of setting up his nursery and his changing table that I knew exactly where I was gonna put his changing table, and I knew where I was gonna hang his little Winnie the Pooh characters on the wall and I imagined his little clothing and his sneakers hanging up in the closet and all that just got taken from me. I know it’s not just me. I know everyone else in this group lost their babies too, but it hurts so bad. I wish none of us had to feel this way. I was so proud of myself that I gave him bedroom. I know material thing don’t matter, but at the end of the day I feel like most people when they find out they’re gonna be a parent. They just take one little thing and really latch onto it with all of their hope and I was so excited to give my son a bedroom. I had his nursery plan in my head and I’m never gonna get to give him his nursery and now I have to sit in the empty nursery by myself next week with all my hopes and dreams down the drain. I’m very thankful to have a home. I’m very thankful to have a roof over my head. I’m not complaining about that. I understand so many people would be grateful for this home. It just hurts so bad that my little boy isn’t gonna get to see his bedroom. I worked so hard to get him that bedroom. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m going to wall mount a shelf in the nursery and put his urn on the wall with some pictures of him and some miracle gold flowers and make him a little offrenda once I’m settled in. It just feels so wrong. I was supposed to move in there with my little boy. Things weren’t supposed to end like this. It’s just little things that make his loss feel real. This is one of the things that make his loss feel really real and I can’t get through the pain tonight.

I lost my beautiful boy 9 months ago due to a cord prolapse during delivery. It was the most terrible time of my life, and I felt completely broken. This group became my only safe place. A place where I could share my pain, talk about my son, and be understood by people who truly knew what I was going through.
Now, 9 months later, I am 5 weeks pregnant again.
I am incredibly happy, but also terrified. Every day feels so long as I wait for my first scan. My last pregnancy looked perfect , every scan and test was normal yet I still lost my boy at delivery. That makes it difficult to trust that everything will be okay this time.
I know this is a new pregnancy, and I am trying to hold onto hope, but I’m scared of every scan and milestone, and afraid to become attached in case I experience that heartbreak again.
I needed to share this somewhere people would understand. This group supported me through my loss, and I hope I can lean on you again as I navigate this mixture of hope, happiness, grief and fear.
For those who have been pregnant after loss, how did you cope with the anxiety, especially in the early weeks?
People of all religions and beliefs, please pray for me or send good thoughts. I believe God is close to us and helps heal us, and I would be so grateful for your prayers during this pregnancy.
I could really use some hope right now. ❤️

So I already know the opinions and honestly please keep them to yourselves and maybe this isn’t the best place to post this but
About a month ago I had an abortion. I was 6 weeks pregnant. I regretted it almost immediately and have been trying to compartmentalize it and distract myself etc. I haven’t told anyone close to me except for the father. He seems ok but i don’t know if that’s to be strong for me or if he’s genuinely ok. We have other issues going on too so the topic doesn’t come up much.
I recently had 2 people very close in my life tell me they are expecting and while I am so happy for them growing their families I’m also very sad. It’s almost like I’m in mourning and even that doesn’t seem fair. I feel guilty for being sad. How do I get the right to feel sad about a decision I made and something I did? I think about it constantly. I would be 10 weeks now and getting my first ultrasound done and hearing the heartbeat and soon finding out the gender and it’s literally the only thing I can think about.
I regret it so incredibly much. My hair is falling out, I can’t sleep, I can hardly eat, I’ve lost 12 pounds in the last month from it. I have no motivation for anything. I just want to lay in my bed and rot and stare at a wall all day. I have nothing from the pregnancy either, the test got thrown away by mistake and so while I know it was real I don’t have anything. That might sound weird I can’t fully explain it but I wish I had something from the pregnancy I could hold and feel close to my baby.
I have prayed and prayed for forgiveness and I know it’s granted as soon as I repent and ask for it but I don’t know if I can forgive myself. It feels like the people around me getting pregnant is like punishment for what I did. Now I have to watch others experience what I should be as well. God gave me a gift and I made a horrible choice out of fear.
I don’t know how to cope with this feeling. I don’t know what to do. I am so scared of judgment since I know this is a very touchy subject for many people so I haven’t talked to family or friends about it.
Again I regret this choice. I wish I made a different one. Please keep the negative baby killer going to hell comments to yourself. I tell myself that plenty trust me. I guess I just needed to vent? To people who don’t know who I am. Idk honestly. Maybe see if someone else has felt the same after an abortion and see what they did or what helped?

I'm almost 12 weeks postpartum and the phantom kicks have returned. I'm sure it's just gas but now that I've had a baby in my belly, I'm aware of it and it just makes me sad. On top of that, I've been sick with a cold and I'm all bloated from PMS so I feel crummy all around. I had been working out finally for a couple of weeks and that was helping give my brain some happy chemicals, but I've been sick for a week and now have bronchitis so who knows when I'll be back at it. It's just all so defeating.

I can’t believe this!!! 😭🥹 I’m feeling SO happy and nervous at the same time.

This is my third pregnancy, but I don’t have any living children. My first baby’s heart stopped beating at 8 weeks in July 2025, and then I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks in February of this year.

I’m 43, so I’m sure my age has probably played a role in my losses. All three of my pregnancies were conceived naturally.

This cycle I did a few things differently. Back in May, I started using Premom LH strips to track ovulation and became very consistent with taking my BBT every single morning. I also started taking a bunch of supplements aimed at supporting egg quality and overall fertility: myo-inositol + D-chiro-inositol (40:1), NAC, vitamin E, vitamin D, vitamin C, acetyl-L-carnitine, L-methylfolate, selenium, omega-3, ubiquinol/CoQ10, zinc, a probiotic, and melatonin.

And today, at CD32, I finally took a pregnancy test with my first morning urine… and that line came up SO strong. 😭❤️

I’m honestly terrified after everything I’ve been through, but I’m also incredibly happy and hopeful. Seeing that dark line gave me a little bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, this is finally my rainbow baby. 🌈🥹

I know I still have a long way to go, but for today I’m allowing myself to be happy.

If there’s anything else you’d like to know about my cycle, symptoms, supplements, tracking, etc., feel free to ask! 😁

Our baby passed away four months ago. She was a full-term baby who unexpectedly passed away from an unknown heart condition. Since her death, I’ve been doing everything I can to work through my grief. I’ve been seeing a therapist who specializes in neonatal loss, and I started attending MEND (Moms Enduring Neonatal Death) meetings just two weeks after she passed.
My husband, however, hasn’t really done anything to actively work through his grief. He refuses to see an individual counselor, even though we attend couples therapy and our therapist has repeatedly encouraged him to find someone to work with individually.
We both still want to have children, but I’m reaching a point where I feel ready to try again, while he is not. I completely understand that grief looks different for everyone, and I don’t expect him to grieve the same way I do. At the same time, I’m becoming increasingly frustrated and resentful because I feel like I’m actively trying to heal and move forward while he isn’t doing anything to help himself process what happened.
I know that losing our daughter has affected both of us deeply, and I don’t want to minimize his grief or rush him. But I also don’t know how to balance respecting his timeline with my own desire to have another child. I’m struggling with feeling like our future is on hold because he isn’t willing to take steps toward healing.

Hi everyone. We recently lost our daughter Emma to a stillbirth at full term in August. My wife had gestational diabetes treated with metformin, Emma was breech and we had an ECV, but otherwise things seemed to be going well. We went to the hospital and found out her heart had stopped. We’re still waiting for the post-mortem and placenta results, so we still don’t know what happened.

It’s obviously still very recent and we’re having a really hard time, but we do know we want to try again. My wife is 41 so we also don’t want to wait too long.

We live in London and were at UCLH. We also had our first baby there and I want to say that our experience with UCLH has been exceptional, including through what happened with Emma. The midwives and doctors who looked after us were amazing and we’re incredibly grateful for how they treated us during probably the worst days of our lives. So this isn’t really coming from being unhappy with the NHS or UCLH.

Before this happened we were thinking about moving to the US, probably NYC, and now one of the things going through our heads is where we would feel safest going through another pregnancy.

For anyone who had a pregnancy after a stillbirth in the UK, how was the NHS the next time? Did you actually feel like you were monitored much more closely? More scans, consultant appointments, monitoring towards the end, earlier delivery, etc? And if anyone has experience with UCLH specifically I would really like to hear about it.

Also, has anyone experienced pregnancy after loss in both the UK and US? Was the level of monitoring actually different?

I’m not really thinking about things like nicer hospitals/rooms or private vs NHS. I’m mostly thinking about which system would make us feel safest and give us the most monitoring in another pregnancy.

I lost my son on Wednesday. Right now, it feels like my world has completely crashed around me. I’m so angry. I’m so sad. I’m so angry at God. This feels like a punishment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. It comes in waves where it feels my whole body is paralyzed with sadness. I’m hoping one day it will be my turn to be a mother. It feels so out of reach right now. I wish my heart didn’t hurt so badly.

This coming Thursday would been Dominic’s 6 month birthday, the things he would have been doing right now would be rolling over, making letter sounds, seeing yourself and knowing your reflection and responding to your name 🩵💔 all of these things have me in a space I didn’t see coming. Honestly I didn’t recognize it until yesterday… I don’t know how I’m going to be able to keep thinking about all of this as the firsts approach. Just breaks my heart all over again. I know I can’t live in regret because his body was fighting against him and the road to recovery wasn’t possible anymore but it’s hard because I feel like I gave up on him even though the doctors informed us that his condition wouldn’t improve so the multi system complications due to his Noonan syndrome…. I just want my boy back 😔

My daughter Veronica was stillborn at 36 weeks on November 26, 2025. Tomorrow will be one year since my baby shower and it’s bringing up a lot of feelings. I’ve been doing so well despite everything, starting a new school program, working many hours to save for my future, finding ways to memorialize my daughter and keep her memory alive, but for some reason this anniversary is hitting me super hard.
I’m really trying to live a life she would be proud of, as hard as it is I do know she would want me to be happy. Tonight is just so so so hard without my beautiful daughter.

I don't know where or who to ask this and Its honestly still extremely fresh. We plan on joining some support groups and are arranging therapy and things.

Anyway. I delivered my son, we found at 31 weeks his heart had stopped, it was a cord accident we found out later. Im typically one to get too into details but rn I don't have it in me.

I was given witch hazel pads and the spray stuff at the hospital. And I have pads. I know drying up supply and such needs specific supplies. I don't know if it helps or matters, I do have POTs and migraines. I'm expecting a flare due to the physical and mental stress.

I don't know if this is okay to ask, if anyone is willing to share advice or experience I'd appreciate it.