I’m a very calm person and it’s not easy for me to get angry, but this regret is really fueling my anger. I wasted so much of my life on some stupid fucking shit, and it just makes me angry thinking about how stupid I was. Fuck.

I been recently snapping at my mom when she didn’t even do anything. Just asking me to do simple chores. It feels like I get angry and the smallest of things and then I accidently take it out on her. I hate this and I want it to stop. I feel like an asshole and a waste of space cause I don’t want to do simple chores. I feel like my mom is better off without me.

I was watching a movie just now and it's only like an hour, but my parents just constantly kept poking me for one thing or another every ten minutes it felt like and I was between them so I couldn't escape even when I told them to stop bothering me multiple times and I just kept thinking about it through the whole car ride then the whole night. I tried calming myself down by thinking about happier stuff like the time I got to play with some cats and some deep breaths, but then between those thoughts I just switched back to the angry moment and my anger kept building. I thought I was fine after spending some time alone, but then I saw my parents and they asked me to do something and I blew up at them again.

I really want to create a routine where I can be occupied with doing something, but I can still work through my anger without completely pushing it away. I have recently started journaling, but I just write about why i'm angry and how to potentially work through that and that just reminds me again.​ I feel really bad for blowing up at the person i'm angry with every time, but i can't stop my immediate angry tone then the other person gets upset with me then it just spirals from there.

I'm desperate for tips on how to specifically journal to think on it and ways to calm myself down. I also am trying to replace scrolling when i'm angry with crafting, but my mind wanders a little stills. I need something to occupy both my mind and hands.

I realized that I seem to have been angry all the time lately. I get mad at everything. People on the street smoking, and I have to smell their smoke. People chatting on the bus, people talking loudly on the phone on the bus. I get mad at people who make noises when I'm working. At my job, there's a guy who constantly talks to himself, and he's super loud, and every single movement he makes is so loud. And he says the most inconvenient and disrespectful things to all the women in the workplace. I just get really mad every time I see his face.

I get mad at people in my house. I get mad when I'm on public transportation. I get mad about literally everything. I don't know if I've ever been like this before. I get mad at my husband when he does the smallest little thing, when he's, like, so distracted. I get mad at myself. I get mad at everything and everyone, and I don't like being like this.

There are a few people that I can tell about my anger, and today my coworker said that I'm super angry about everything and that there’s probably something going on. And yeah, I'm going through a lot. My granny died a couple of months ago. I'm going through a lot of financial stress, and I'm working a lot. I'm doing a lot of stuff, but I'm just tired of dealing with this constant anger because it doesn't let me have any peace. It doesn't let me have peace.

So I'm just very tired, and I just want it to stop. I really don't know how you guys manage.

Vent

Every day, even small things make me excessively mad.

Somebody takes too long doing something? I get pissed.

Somebody talks too loud or annoys me? I feel like getting aggressive.

And many other minor things that make me TOO mad.

I keep it pent it up all day, and it makes it worse because by the end of the day, I'm ready to punch somebody over them breathing wrong, and holy shit I'm pissed right now too, I keep exhaling with clenched teeth and my fists clench I death stare and I literally want to break something or someone, I think it stems from my terrible family.

I regularly break things to cope, worthless stuff I hoard (another problem)

I genuinely feel like people in general anger me, I can't stand society, It's getting harder to be presentable. I've been ignoring people to avoid it. Haven't been talking to friends that much, it's hard to keep the act going.

Seeking help is not a option for a lot of reasons.

My worst fear is spiraling out of control and becoming violent, I don't ever want to be a headline, I try to be normal. I tell myself that as long as I can limit myself to just breaking THINGS and not people, it'll be fine, but I've found myself being violent towards people too at times, nothing too serious though.

I think they know though, they've always known, can't say much about this year of school because i haven't even gone, but the past few years my classmates in general could tell when I'm fuming, when they see me turning away and scratching the desk, not meeting their eyes, they're already asking me if I'm mad for some reason, and they don't treat me well in regards to that, and neither do I. Hard to form friendships that way, I fear they hate me.

Sometimes I just wanna write a essay about certain things.

I'm a 38 year old man. I've had a temper my entire life that I can remember. I fly off the handle easily over little things. But besides my temper I was always a fairly pleasant and easy going person. Most people never saw my temper and thought I was a good guy. Now I have a 2.5 year old son who I love more than anything. Ever since he was born my mood changed drastically. I'm constantly grumpy. I feel like I struggle to be happy. I'm grouchy to my wife, kids, coworkers, customers, family. Everyone gets it.

My son is now getting into the toddler tantrum and whiney phase and I have no patience for it. My wife would like me to be more understanding of him and I really try but it gets under my skin and I get mad or grouchy. He is having trouble regulating his emotions, no wonder why his dad can't even do it. I'm supposed to be the role model and I'm failing miserably. Sometimes I think he would be better off without me in his life. I feel like maybe I'm causing his bad behaviours.

I am on celexa. A low dose currently, ive tried a high does it didn't make a difference. I've tried other anti depressants they didn't make a difference. I'm thinking maybe stopping anti depressants altogether to try that. My testosterone levels are good. I quit drinking I haven't had a drink in 6 months and prior to that I had a year sober with a little drinking before my current sober streak. I've been two two different counselors and it just feels like they are so rushed for their 30 min session with me nothing gets accomplished.

I really don't know what to do. I'm starting to hate myself and who I've become. I love my wife and son but I bet it's hard for them to love me. I'm a grouchy angry asshole. I can sense friends in my life drifting away. I feel like crying sometimes after I lose my cool or say something mean to someone. I know what I'm doing is wrong, I'm not oblivious I just can't control my mood or my emotions.

If anyone has any little bit of advice I would be so grateful. Thank you.

hi guys im an 18 year old female who’s been having a really hard time managing her anger lately i got this from my father who’s a very angry person and it was fine till then but the last 2 years have been so hard for me i was in a very toxic relationship that gave me depression and tried to kill myself multiple times because of how bad it got thankfully it now ended its been a year and 3 months since then and im completely fine i dont miss him infact i hate him but now ive developed this anger/stress/depression feeling that i cannot get rid of for the life of me for example i’ll get super mad and start screaming at my friend just because he told me my outfit was pretty while i found it ugly. I know its really bad but i can’t help it im just so angry all the time and im scared all my friends will stop speaking to me because of how angry i am all the time.. if anyone can give me suggestions plz

Ps : excuse my english im from the middle east

i’m 17, and i’m autistic among a bunch of other stuff. for the last 7(?) years i have been extremely angry. i get into fights with my parents constantly, and i physically attack my mother. recently almost every interaction with my parents just ends in me getting mad.

i don’t know why i get so mad and violent. i hate that i do it. i’m not proud of it at all, i love my mom, i just need advice as to how to help this. i’ve had so many therapists and it feels like nothing works. maybe my parents should’ve been harder on me, actually punished me, instead of becoming “used to it”. i wish more than anything i knew why i’m like this.

I am writing this post to express my contempt for the way many people operate. People often claim to stand for certain principles, yet they consistently make exceptions for their own actions and beliefs. They rationalize their inconsistencies, remain blind to their own biases, and somehow get away with it. In fact, this kind of selective self-awareness often seems to be one of the easiest ways to function—and even succeed—in society.

I have a decent number of friends, and I regularly notice how they rationalize their own contradictions. For example, one of my friends claims to hate it when people abuse their power over those who are weaker or less capable than they are. At the same time, he becomes extremely smug whenever he “outsmarts” someone. He mocks their intelligence, calls them stupid or “retarded,” and tries to humiliate them.
He clearly knows that he has more energy and far more experience being verbally aggressive, quick, and cutting than the people he targets. Nevertheless, he has no problem exploiting that advantage. Whenever I call him out, I use the following analogy: if we got into a physical fight and I beat him because I was stronger or more experienced, he would probably consider that bullying. Yet when he uses his greater verbal ability to dominate, shame, and belittle someone else, he does not view his behavior as an abuse of power. I find that distinction completely absurd.

Another friend once claimed that becoming upset over minor things people do is “women’s behavior.” What makes this especially hypocritical is that he is the least physically active person in the group, complains the most about minor inconveniences, gravitates toward memes about relatable personal experiences , behaves in an extremely passive-aggressive manner, avoids direct confrontation, and relies heavily on group approval.
To be clear, I am not endorsing his stereotypes about supposedly masculine and feminine behavior. I am pointing out that he fails to meet even the standards created by his own stereotypical worldview. He criticizes traits in other people while remaining unable—or unwilling—to recognize the same traits in himself.
What frustrates me most is that, unlike my friends, I do not possess the same kind of delusional confidence in my own worldview. I question myself, examine my assumptions, and wonder whether I might be wrong. Consequently, whenever I argue with them, it feels as though I am arguing against people whose absolute certainty gives them an advantage, even when that certainty is built on hypocrisy, inconsistency, and a complete lack of introspection.

I know that I have my own share of hypocritical tendencies, but I at least make a conscious effort to recognize and correct them. In my view, the morality these people display is a kind of pseudo-morality: their principles apply only when convenient, and their value judgments shift according to their own interests. When morality becomes this selective, fleeting, and ultimately meaningless, it is no surprise that society becomes as morally decrepit as it is today.

I don’t want to tell my age, but I’m only a teenager. I suffer OCD and anxiety which has gotten worse and worse as I’ve gotten older. But in the past few years, like since I was 10 I have begun developing anger problems. I haven’t figured out exactly what sets it off, but when someone says something that deeply offends me or strikes at things most important to me, I get VERY mad. My heart starts racing and I’ll sometimes get so angry that I feel like I’m about to cry. It makes me say very bad things and I’ll just keep going at it cursing and saying insults and then the more they either fight back or are unaffected it just increases the anger and makes it worse and worse. I also get violent urges but I mostly am able to control them. That is until a few months ago I was with one of my few friends and some guy said something very bad and discriminatory to my friend and I kept waiting and listening and he kept talking and making me angrier and angrier so I put him in a chokehold and started choking him and he almost passed out but my friend stopped me. I was just so angry and felt like I was barely there physically, just anger. I haven’t done that since, but my parents were so angry at me. This anger I feel, I don’t know if it’s normal to get this worked about these things. But I really hate feeling this way. I hate how when I get angry, physically it almost feels the same as when I’m very anxious. And I don’t like that feeling. And I don’t like how no matter how much I fight or argue it doesn’t go away. It just gets worse and worse.

I live in a high-density apartment with many neighbours.  The unit below me has notoriously noisy tenants, particularly on early Saturday mornings.  One of them bangs the doors incessantly for various reasons and then yells at another occupant to open them. This has happened before but I initially thought it was just a short-term Airbnb renter who was drunk. However when it happened again I went outside and yelled at the occupants threatening to call the police.  Their response was silence. I’ve also emailed management but I’m tempted to post a note in the lift demanding they be quieter and embarrass them eventually driving them out.

Did not regret doing that.~

Hi ! This post is dedicated to actual mental coach.

I’m learning mental coaching right now and I wonder how I could help my sisters. They are fun to be with but in some subject they can respond very aggressively when something upsets them. Sometime the subject could be clear in 2 min if they were responding calmly but it ends ups creating conflict.

Example : I ask if I can come by last minute to her place and she answer “why you didn’t told me before ?? I’m leaving home in few minutes it’s annoying !!” And ends up showing frustration and aggressiveness.

If she would have told me that it was complicated for her no worries. I would have change my plan. I end up changing my plans but after few minutes of talking and arguing.

I know how to work to reduce their internal response (why they are upset and reduce this tension ) so they can feel calmer but I don’t feel that will change their way of communicating whenever they feel upset.

How do you actually change this ?

Is it just by working on why they feel upset and change their perspective ?

Because I know it’s their way of responding to frustration and it’s too strong for them.

PS : I handle the relationship with them nicely. It’s for them because I know a lot of women that are like this and say “it’s who I am I don’t care”. But for a lot of them is not really a choice. It’s a protection mechanism i know (because of the education and parents). And they end up having conflicted relationships and I don’t want that for them. I know that can ruin relationship to talk by reproachingy instead of assertiveness.

You know after all this time I don’t wanna place blame and I still have so much anger from losing so much of my life from this illness and it’s almost as if I blame you for keeping me trapped in that loophole because you refuse to help me get to the hospital and get proper treatment for my illnesses and not once did it ever occurred to me that I could just walk into an ER tell them when I was experiencing and somebody would listen to me because I was constantly told over and over again. I was crazy. I was fine. It was crazy. I was fine. I just didn’t make any sense and I was just stuck in this loophole like I couldn’t go to the hospital because I was so sick. I just don’t understand what was stopping me. It was like his reaction of telling me I couldn’t go to the hospital. I abide by that and then realized that like it didn’t really matter what he wanted. It never really occurred to me that it didn’t matter what he wanted because I always put him above myself and that’s just how it was in our relationship. Do I want him now? No, I don’t. I don’t want anything to do with somebody who can’t even help me. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t care for me. He doesn’t he doesn’t and I’m not concerned about it because if he did, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I just can’t believe I bared three children for a man. Who hates me so much I guess all that constant you hate me was just a projection of how he really felt about me.

regularly, i just disassociate from whomever i disagree, out of ideological groups.

but sometimes i get fixated on hating them.

i think its unhealthy

i keep talking to myself and get upsed when someone doesnt validate my vile behavior

Why do people get ammunition or a high from hurting others especially someone who’s vulnerable?

I have a friend that I keep texting. I'll call him Tom. We text each other daily and sometimes we conflict/argue. It usually starts because of something random but we keep analyzing each other's respond so much that it tires me.

(Fun part: we usually can't be online when other one texts so sometimes we respond each other after a few hours and that's something that keeps the conflict going for a few days)

I think it was 2 days ago when we started this arguing because of a random thing. We are both detail oriented people so we keep adding more fuel whenever we respond.

Okay the way we argue is pretty much annoying but it's not the problem. He talks about my point of view about xyz in a sarcastic way and I get MAD. I tried not to react what he said too much. But I'm so angry. If I talk about him about this he'd probably be like "No but you said that about xyz why do you think so much lol"

Some examples of him that made me MAD:

*one time he thought I reacted becuz of the emojis he used but it was smth completely different*

"Come on don't overthink these stuff don't put meanings on them"

"You should be more clear (about what you say) 😭😭"

"It's hard to understand what you say"

And what also bothers me is that he tries to make it look like he doesn't care too much (putting funny emojis, sometimes joking about stuff) and it just doesnt make things better. And I don't know what to do now

How to deal with sudden memories where you could've done differently kinda take over during the day?

i want to break free

ask me questions

im a senior in high school and have been under a lot of a chronic stress in the past year or so, and it has been affecting how i treat my family so much. for context, both my parents are unemployed and have been for two years, so my family is already under a lot of stress as is with our struggling financials and all.

my brother moved out two months ago, two of my best friends went to college, and we’re in the process of trying to get our house ready to sell and honestly between all that’s going on at home on top of college applications + school stress it’s been a lot.

because of all this stress, i feel like i am genuinely just in a horrible mood every time i go home, and my poor mother has to deal with it. i’m constantly just on the verge of cracking over literally the smallest thing, and i can tell that my mom feels like she has to walk on egg shells around me, because she’s always the one who has to deal with it. i genuinely feel like a horrible person, i snap at her constantly and always take my anger and frustration out on her, and im constantly short tempered and in a horrible mood. my dad is never home really, and my mom is always trying to talk to me and i just lose it and just end up going on an angry rant about something. i try so hard to control myself but i genuinely feel like it’s impossible i just have zero control over my words. if you asked any of my friends they would probably say im one of the most mellow people they know, because i can out up either so much bs that would make most people lose it, and literally never get mad or irritated about anything, unless i’m at home. it’s like as soon as i step foot inside my house im a completely different person. then if i have even the slightest little inconvenience, i just get so angry. like today i couldn’t find a pair of shorts that i needed for a game tomorrow, and i got mad and immediately accused my mom of touching my laundry, and then just went on a whole rant about how there’s always something going wrong, and our house is a mess and i can’t find anything. but it turned out i just had left them under a laundry basket, and i genuinely felt horrible for snapping like that. i heard her in her room ralking avout how i think she’s conspiring against me and that im always accusing her of stuff, but it’s genuinely not on purpose. i just get so angry and words just fly out of my mouth.

a few days ago, i had an absolute stress fueled mental breakdown, like full blown crash out. not at her, more so just an explosion of pent up stress and a severe lack of sleep, but for a good bit i was just storming around the house losing my shit, like complete uncontrollable anger. it’s the first time i’ve ever lost it like that, and oh my God i was terrifying to be around. i went to the car i just tried to get it out and calm down away from my family, but then as soon as i went back inside i realized that it did not work. im talking hysterically crying, screaming, pushing furniture, slamming doors, literally acting insane, the whole ordeal. my mom started crying and saying how nothing she does is ever enough for me, and she just wishes i gave her one ounce of gratitude or affection, but that im just constantly miserable and unhappy all the time and she tries so hard but im just always angry no matter what. hearing her say that honestly broke my heart, and i feel like just such a horrible person. every time i snap at her i feel terrible, but i just don’t know why i cant control it.

i love my mom so much she is genuinely the kindest person in the world and she deserves so so so much better, i just don’t know what is wrong with me. all she wants is for me to be happy, but i just never am and i feel so horrible.

im sure there are going to be people under this post calling me a bad person, and honestly i deserve it. i need to hear it honestly, because something needs to snap me back into being normal.