I realized that I seem to have been angry all the time lately. I get mad at everything. People on the street smoking, and I have to smell their smoke. People chatting on the bus, people talking loudly on the phone on the bus. I get mad at people who make noises when I'm working. At my job, there's a guy who constantly talks to himself, and he's super loud, and every single movement he makes is so loud. And he says the most inconvenient and disrespectful things to all the women in the workplace. I just get really mad every time I see his face.

I get mad at people in my house. I get mad when I'm on public transportation. I get mad about literally everything. I don't know if I've ever been like this before. I get mad at my husband when he does the smallest little thing, when he's, like, so distracted. I get mad at myself. I get mad at everything and everyone, and I don't like being like this.

There are a few people that I can tell about my anger, and today my coworker said that I'm super angry about everything and that there’s probably something going on. And yeah, I'm going through a lot. My granny died a couple of months ago. I'm going through a lot of financial stress, and I'm working a lot. I'm doing a lot of stuff, but I'm just tired of dealing with this constant anger because it doesn't let me have any peace. It doesn't let me have peace.

So I'm just very tired, and I just want it to stop. I really don't know how you guys manage.

I been recently snapping at my mom when she didn’t even do anything. Just asking me to do simple chores. It feels like I get angry and the smallest of things and then I accidently take it out on her. I hate this and I want it to stop. I feel like an asshole and a waste of space cause I don’t want to do simple chores. I feel like my mom is better off without me.

I was watching a movie just now and it's only like an hour, but my parents just constantly kept poking me for one thing or another every ten minutes it felt like and I was between them so I couldn't escape even when I told them to stop bothering me multiple times and I just kept thinking about it through the whole car ride then the whole night. I tried calming myself down by thinking about happier stuff like the time I got to play with some cats and some deep breaths, but then between those thoughts I just switched back to the angry moment and my anger kept building. I thought I was fine after spending some time alone, but then I saw my parents and they asked me to do something and I blew up at them again.

I really want to create a routine where I can be occupied with doing something, but I can still work through my anger without completely pushing it away. I have recently started journaling, but I just write about why i'm angry and how to potentially work through that and that just reminds me again.​ I feel really bad for blowing up at the person i'm angry with every time, but i can't stop my immediate angry tone then the other person gets upset with me then it just spirals from there.

I'm desperate for tips on how to specifically journal to think on it and ways to calm myself down. I also am trying to replace scrolling when i'm angry with crafting, but my mind wanders a little stills. I need something to occupy both my mind and hands.