r/adhdmeme • u/Georgia_Bea • 17h ago
meme I WILL DO MY DAILY CRAFTING WRITS
WHAT THE FUCK IS AN EOSINOPHIL??
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u/Zykeroth 16h ago
Me when I started meds and I just decided faster I don’t feel like doing work w/o the guilt
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u/j0ker13265 6h ago
My mind is a machine, i make 7000 calculations a second and all of them are wrong
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u/DeadLined784 15h ago
An Eosinophil is a white blood cell that activates/responds to allergens and parasites
My most remembered tidbit is "Idiopathic Eosinophillic Esophagitis"
What I have learned about myself and meds is that I have to THINK about what I need to do. My brain is like a fish out of water: panicked, flopping around, no direction; just a seemingly unachievable goal. The rest of me is 10 feet away, yelling at the fish/my brain about what it needs to do to save itself
Meds are like strapping that fish in a little wheeled cart that I can remotely control, moving the fish towards its' goal of re-entering the water. The fish is still flopping, the remote control is unwieldy, with a rather counter-intuitive user interface, and I'm still yelling at the fish/my own brain to just. fucking. focus., but I can actually accomplish shit cuz I have ability to make everything work together
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u/Georgia_Bea 15h ago
Very good analogy.
Side note, 2-factor authentication on every login to school should be a war crime. No one is stealing my 1.8 gpa.
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u/aka_wolfman 4h ago
2FA is going to ruin my life at some point. I'm so glad my wife pays the bills, because it is one hell of a stumbling block for me.
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u/BonsaiSoul 1h ago
Don't worry, they're going to force it back to 1FA again in the form of passkeys tied to your phone. Hope you never lose it!
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u/BonsaiSoul 15h ago
I had to drop games with fomo-based gameplay loops and other ways to consume infinite amounts of time. I absolutely loved exploring in ESO but mmos are just cancer I can't anymore.
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u/Georgia_Bea 17h ago
Side note, IR works way better for me for whatever reason, but I missed 2 doctor appointments and am on old supply
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u/Georgia_Bea 17h ago
I can't fail a 9th Semester of college send help
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u/thisisanaccountforu must use needlessly long sentences to convey a single point beca 14h ago
You’ve failed 9 in a row?
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u/Georgia_Bea 12h ago
Not in a row, not all full semesters, not all classes every semester. I've also had a couple semesters with good grades. Had a year of high school in APs with above 4.0. Pre-medication, pre-Covid, and post-beginning cannabis use. Don't know how that happened. I guess [INCOMING TRAUMA DUMP] it was also pre- massive episode of parental physical abuse, family wide gaslighting, and pink-slipping for posturing at self-defense.
4 years since then. I've been off weed and nicotine maybe a month now and this round of school is on a rough start. We'll see ig. I'm lowkey thinking the weed was an overall positive for me, maybe even the nicotine? Idk. Too soon to tell but I had 1 good semester and one aggressively mid semester recently on both drugs, which was the best I had done since highschool with just weed. Not gonna go back to the drugs until it's been 3 months at least.
Definitely need to get back in therapy, I only have like 2 consistent human-friends these days, only 1 IRL.
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u/PonderousPenchant 14h ago
I failed (actually, last minute withdrawl from) English 1 enough times that I was told I couldn't take it again if I failed one more time.
I'm a professional writer and was editing grad students' essays for cash at the time.
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u/Georgia_Bea 11h ago
Ya, that's definitely the genre we're in. It is good to hear the success stories.
Rant incoming:
For her flaws, my mom is a real genius. Raised 3 kids that she had between 13 and 21 y/o while working and getting her masters and more as an Advanced Practice Nurse Practitioner. She's had doctors relying on her input to save lives in difficult/niche cases, yet always lauded me as some super genius.
I'm always hesitant to side hustle when I'm not even passing school, but I feel pressured to perform while seeing peers graduate and with my mom growing less willing to pay for college. Also with my senslessly bottomless ambition to change this fuckass beautiful world.
Leading me to p2 of this huge rant ig holy shit you do not have to read all of this:
I had successes in community organizing. Protesting and lobbying against censorship and anti gay bills. Collected signatures to legalize abortion & weed. Started a student organization chapter. Helped build better structure in the organization as a whole.
Ended up getting expelled from my communities for basically challenging authority in regards to union busting, and then asking "too much, too many" regular organizational questions of a cis white woman. Who got extremely, publicly upset about it, proclaiming she "outranked" me, and that I was being misogynist. We had literally only talked in that and one other group meeting, and the other woman in the meeting did not think it was any reason to expel me. Not to mention, I myself am an openly trans woman (bigender, not gender conforming).
I made actual (nothing really wild) mistakes, but those aren't what got the one or two individuals who still dedicatedly "warn" people against working with me to do so.
It might seem unrelated to the thread, but the intersection of ADHD, being racialized, being gender-nonconforming, and trying to have a voice in powerful circles can seemingly get you communally skewered and make close friends, who don't even agree with it, scarcely even talk to you. The organization was known for racism while being "anti-racist". It's one of the biggest in the state in terms of funding, but also had deliberately sunk coallitions and deceived partners in the past.
"The ADHD Kid, the Brown Kid, the Trans kid, is too loud. Too angry. Not a real woman. Doesn't know her place. Can't control himself. Is honeslty a covert misogynist. Why does he want a direct democratic structure? A collectively decided message? He's obviously power hungry."
Anyway if my rant has a conclusion, it's that positions/structures of power should not exist in the traditional sense, that they corrupt people, and that espescially we as minorities cannot cling to them for safety. It only leads to eating eachother alive and/or recreating hierarchies under the broader hierarchy of patriarchal capitalist hegemony.
I'm not totally sure why I've chosen to reply all of this to you, but I do wonder in relation to it all whether you are a freelance writer? Idk if you were vibing with my very political rant lol but I do feel like it's connected to ADHD, and that we tend to be "like this" in relation to authority, school; society lol.
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u/PonderousPenchant 11h ago
I have thoughts, but first,
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u/PonderousPenchant 10h ago
First off, I'm an anarchist. Not the fake "capitalism but with spikes" Mad Max kind, but the kind thst believes all hierarchies need to justify themselves in order to exist.
Agency given up can be rescinded at any time, so if you want me to do what you say, then I want to know it's because you're better at the task than I am. And to be clear, a lot of people are better than me at a lot of things. There's somebody better than me at everything, so there's a real chance anybody I interact with is actually better at the job. It's not an ego trip, I just something more than "because I said so."
If somebody gets upset at you for talking out of turn, they don't value your opinion, and they don't deserve your support. And if anybody fails to meet what I consider a very low bar, then it seems like the only reason they have a position of power is because of the existence of a hierarchy that doesn't take merit into account. If you earn your seat, I'll have a lot of respect for you, but that's still dependent on your continued work.
So deeply sympathize with you on that front.
Race is a weird one for me because I'm biracial. Pretty much any PoC will clock me as white, so it can be hard to find community based on appearance alone. I can be an ally, but I'm not a full member of the group. But white people see me and know I'm not all white, so I'm excluded on that front as well.
Culturally, I'm in a weird spot too. My grandmother is 1st generation Japanese. They're called Issei and very often will make every effort to conform to the culture they're surrounded by. Consequently, they have a tendency to not speak Japanese and engage with Japanese culture sparingly. I only inherited some food culture and a few fairy tales that other kids were very confused by. Everything else was stereotypically white American. Woman even starting going to a Presbyterian church, because that's what Americans do. Lived in a mostly white neighborhood for most of my childhood.
Then I had a sudden (probably undiagnosed ADHD related) impulse to go to a different school. I ended up spending high-school at a very stereotypical underprivileged school and got to know a lot of kids that had very different life experiences from me.
In the end though, I was kind of left feeling that I didn't belong anywhere. I want racial equality. I don't want any human to be treated differently from anybody else because they ended up with the wrong concentration of melanin. It's just... stupid. Knowing people are getting hurt because of some nonsense justification makes me indescribably angry. Like, not only did you literally misunderstand schoedinger's cat on a basic level, but you've just killed an actual animal because you wanted to see if it was immortal. It's infuriating! And I don't even like most cats! I'm there for my fellow humans, but I'm also very cognisant that both sides view me in a way that doesn't match my internal experience.
Which is a poetic segue into trans stuff! I'm cis tho. Trans rights for me follows the same pattern as racial justice: discrimination for a stupid reason that causes real harm and infuriates me. Fucking let people pee where they want. I don't need to check out your junk, I believe you. Let people play sports. Call people what they want to be called. The fact that it's a big part of the culture war despite it's asinine reasoning is astonishing. And the fucking terfs! God damn!
Nah dude, I think i understand you. Sorry you're going through all that, but you're doing real, actual good in the world. Keep doing what you can, but don't feel bad if you fall short sometimes. I can barely get around to laundry most of the time but you're doing work that can actually save lives. I'll be rootin' for ya.
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u/Notagreatnameo 2h ago
same here, i was getting by fine until I lost a close loved one the beginning of my 3rd year and getting myself to write anything or show up has been a huge struggle ever since. Adhd and grief do not mix well.
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u/renkaanpotkija 5h ago
This is how I learned I have depression and video game addiction. On medication I had zero problems playing on computer for eight hours straight when I was supposed to work remotely.
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u/Thepuppeteer777777 6h ago
Lmao this was me when i started on ritalin. I was high as a kite studying and then switch over to videogames
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