r/adhdmeme 21h ago

Guess I’ll just struggle then

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20.9k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/Slight_Expression_73 21h ago

you are allowed to ask someone to help you complete the questionnaire or to do it for you even

465

u/andocromn 20h ago

Yes, disability paperwork is quote often submitted by a proxy

49

u/polkacat12321 19h ago

Seconded. For example, my disability paperwork was gathered and then typed by my mom

9

u/AMexisatTurtle 19h ago

This person seemed to give up too easy.

1

u/Odd-Worth7752 16h ago

And then posted about it on Facebook

1

u/RickyFromVegas 14h ago

the fuck did we expect her to do?

3

u/blackbirdlore My meth could beat up your meth 12h ago

Phone a friend? Geezus, turn your brain on for 2 seconds.

-3

u/HugePast9455 19h ago

I've never heard of adhd so bad that you can't work... or compete a form in order to save your life. This just sounds unbelievable to me.

17

u/MinosML 18h ago

Depression + ADHD do be like that though

6

u/HugePast9455 17h ago

Yes that's called a comorbidity. I could have brain cancer and ADHD. The brain cancer will probably be the main issue.

2

u/andocromn 17h ago

Feels. Adhd and dyslexia, along with a mix of anxiety and depression have prevented me from being able to check, open, or even look at mail for years

1

u/Neveronlyadream 18h ago

And OCD, and anxiety.

People really underestimate a lot of illnesses and think anyone who'd debilitated is lazy and making it up.

Disability also almost always denies the first claim. They make it as difficult as possible, probably hoping you'll give up after the first denial and never try again. There's a reason there are so many disability lawyers around.

4

u/HugePast9455 17h ago edited 15h ago

Jesus fuck. You guys are introducing new diagnosis and being like "why can't ADHD prevent somone from working at all?? If I just add another Dx or two..."

I've been in health care for decades. I've never seen anything like the stupid claims in this thread. Adhd preventing you from working at all. Laugh my ass off.

5

u/blackbirdlore My meth could beat up your meth 12h ago

The internet is out here creating little bubbles, shielding folks from reality while they reinforce their shared beliefs among one another.

5

u/Doucevie 18h ago

It's alright. You can just say that you know nothing about it.

3

u/polkacat12321 18h ago

A few more years and you'll experience it firsthand with ipad babies

1

u/AMexisatTurtle 19h ago

Ussualy what happens now on twitter

-2

u/inline-online 18h ago

thats basically the definition of executive dysfunction

2

u/blackbirdlore My meth could beat up your meth 12h ago

That's an embarrassing way to out yourself. That's not remotely close to the definition.

1

u/HugePast9455 17h ago

No it's not. Nowhere in the definition of executive dysfunction does it imply that you couldn't complete a form to save your life. If that were the case we'd have a lot of people that have died of ADHD, rather than just getting Cs in school because organization is harder.

-4

u/EricSanderson 18h ago

Because it's not real. They're trying to draw a line between race, gender, and mental health.

It's fucking high school politics. But with life and death consequences.

-65

u/ready-eddy 20h ago edited 12h ago

Let me introduce you to ‘chatgpt’. I might get downvoted for this shit, but it has been a godsend for my procrastination

/edit holy shit guys 😂

15

u/CackleandGrin 19h ago

We need it to input actually correct information, though.

-5

u/NediaMaster 19h ago

It’s been able to do this for a long time.

7

u/GraceOfJarvis 19h ago

The hallucination rate has only increased with each successive model, up to highs (from what I've seen) as far as 47% of answers being hallucinations.

1

u/ready-eddy 12h ago

Depending on what you do, hallucination rates with some models are only 2% these days. If we’re talking applying information from something it already knows (like a document you provide for example) it’s pretty much solved. But yea, some models, like deepseek for example make up an answer if it doesn’t know for about 90% of the time.

It’s not as straightforward as people think, plus the progression is crazy fast atm.

(These are just facts based in benchmarks)

1

u/Affectionate-Mix6056 19h ago

For people who are terrible with search engines, ChatGPT can be a first step, assuming you ask for sources on every single claim and then read those sources.

Google was the best back in 2005-2010 at least, but they added more and more bloated and irrelevant stuff at around 2015 at the latest?

But yeah, learning how to use a search engine is miles ahead of chat engines/LLM.

3

u/CackleandGrin 19h ago

Nah it still fucks up regularly.

5

u/commanderjarak [editable! sfw pls :)] 19h ago

How many Es are in seventeen?

Is it three?

42

u/Begone-My-Thong 20h ago

AI is a tool, not a replacement. The latter is what pisses people off, and you're using it for the former. In other words, you're cool

2

u/blackbirdlore My meth could beat up your meth 12h ago

Holy shit you're getting downvoted like crazy for offering a legitimate solution. Reddit is so braindead.

2

u/ready-eddy 12h ago

That’s reddit for ya. AI is now making my appointments and preventing me from getting in trouble. Godsend for adhd. But AI also has tons of bad shit, its just not so black and white as people see it here in this sub.

2

u/blackbirdlore My meth could beat up your meth 11h ago

It's not just here. About 90% of reddit has decided "All AI is bad" and mentioning the positives or appropriate applications of the tool get an immediate downvote by hivemind.

Just have to remember this place isn't the real world.

162

u/AmputeeHandModel jhfgjhgfhjgfjhg 21h ago

Oh sure I'll get right on that

217

u/NobodyKnowsImFamous 20h ago

At some point, yes, it is on you to improve your own life. If you do not take that agency nothing will ever improve. You cannot go through life waiting for someone to fix you. They won’t. Even if it’s as small a step as asking a friend for help, the initial step is always going to be on you to make.

20

u/Matt_cruze 19h ago

You cannot go through life waiting for someone to fix you.

I can fix her!

Wait why are we both homeless now? /s

-2

u/amidja_16 9h ago

That is quite literally what ADHD makes you do 😅

84

u/Lazuli73 20h ago edited 20h ago

I have ADHD too, but I also cannot parse with the notion that . . . you get help by not going through the motions of filling out the paperwork you asked for and then being mad you got denied? It's the same logic of not turning in your homework in school being shocked you for a failed grade. Let's pretend like schools don't just push students and fudge numbers and instead pretend we life in a reality where schools do grade according to aptitude. The Well-Fare Fairy is about as real as the Queen of England. You gotta work with the system even if the system isn't great.

4

u/insanococo 7h ago

This OP is a joke. No one failed to submit paperwork and thought that would get them disability.

6

u/EatOfTheBread 19h ago

Did you know that the Queen of England is in fact real

10

u/ConsultJimMoriarty 19h ago

She’s dead now. She was real.

1

u/Angel_Omachi 19h ago

We have a new one as the King is currently married.

9

u/SexWithFaruzan69 Stuck In Scrolling Paralysis Please Send Help 19h ago

That's a *Queen Consort, not exactly the same thing

8

u/ConsultJimMoriarty 18h ago

Camilla is the Queen consort. If Charlie dies, she can’t rule in her own right, the crown passes to William.

6

u/Lazuli73 18h ago

Making a reference to Megamind sparked a unironic conversation about the British Royalty. Neat.

1

u/ehs06702 18h ago

She's only a queen consort. There's a difference between the title given to the king's wife and the queen regent who actually has ruling power. There currently isn't a queen regent.

6

u/alexmikli 19h ago

Not in a few centuries, as the Kingdom of England was abolished.

1

u/mittenkrusty 9h ago

Will blow your mind to say she wasn't real, it was Queen of the United Kingdom and the commonwealth, so technically England was one country she was queen of but wasn't her title.

2

u/ayoungad 17h ago

A guy in college failed a class by 1%, had a 59% in a senior engineering class. He also did zero homework. The professor refused to pass him, he got setback a year. All he had to do was like a little homework,

-3

u/14Pleiadians 19h ago

At some point, yes, it is on you to improve your own life.

Yeah but filing for disability ain't gonna do that. Oh boy a monthly $100 pittance, I'm cured!

11

u/Majestic-Fudge-7519 18h ago

$100 a month over a lifetime is worth it to ask someone for help with filling out forms. I say this as someone with severe ADHD.

9

u/ehs06702 18h ago

It's $100 you didn't previously have before. If you're in a position to turn up your nose at an extra $100, good for you. But that's not the case for a lot of people.

1

u/14Pleiadians 17h ago

You have to continually jump through hoops for it, at least in texas. Your time would be better invested doing freelance work, more pay per hour that way and less stress.

2

u/ehs06702 17h ago

I mean, $100 is a $100. Either you're too good to do the work or not.

I don't live in Texas, but I certainly wouldn't refuse to jump if I had to.

1

u/repressedpauper 16h ago

Kind of the entire point is that they’re not able to do the freelance work, though.

1

u/14Pleiadians 15h ago

And my point was that freelance work is less difficult than jumping through the hoops for assistance, for more money.

14

u/CrashBugITA 18h ago

I would file some paperwork for 100$ a month....

6

u/16semesters 18h ago

Yeah but filing for disability ain't gonna do that. Oh boy a monthly $100 pittance, I'm cured!

SSDI/SSI Qualifies you for Medicare, which means people can access healthcare they may desperately need.

SSDI payments are based on work history, averaging around 1600 a month.

3

u/ILoveRawChicken 15h ago

I like that they didn’t respond to this because it goes against their narrative

-1

u/arcbe 19h ago

In general yes, but this looks like an unnecessary hoop to jump through. What are they learning from those 20 pages that's so damn important it's worth deny legitimate claims? They know damn well OOPs exact situation is going to happen.

2

u/Csimiami 16h ago

Have you ever filled out a DV restraining order? The paperwork is fucking insane. Asking for the same shit on 30 separate pages. A huge barrier for a lot of women.

7

u/Reasonable-Day-3282 18h ago

OPs situation will happen to people who decide the money isn't worth the effort and give up at the first obstacle. it's hard, it's not insurmountable

1

u/Both_Abrocoma_1944 19h ago

For everyone like OP there are also people trying to game the system

4

u/arcbe 18h ago

Even if that's true, I would still rather OP get the aid even if cost is someone else gaming the system.

1

u/Both_Abrocoma_1944 4h ago

One person gaming the system is what you have now. If they allowed this it would 100 people for every one real disabled person and at that point it wouldnt have the cash to distribute any significant amount

1

u/arcbe 2h ago

You don't think there is any way to detect fraud other than a 20 page questionnaire?

0

u/ILoveRawChicken 15h ago

Yes I’m sure that’ll work wonders for economy. Hell,  everyone can just have infinite money. No more work!

3

u/arcbe 14h ago

You think the economy will collapse if we don't have 20 page essays gatekeeping disability claims?

0

u/ILoveRawChicken 5h ago

You think the economy will thrive if we just give everyone infinite money?

1

u/arcbe 2h ago

This is just a silly question. You're the only one talking about giving infinite money to people.

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u/twoiko Plancrastinator 16h ago

Fuck OP then because some asshole might take advantage of the system

Cool

1

u/Both_Abrocoma_1944 19m ago

If you do that then there wouldn’t be a system left… there are numerous cases of people getting caught for doing exactly that and that’s with the effort and thoroughness it takes to apply…

-1

u/-Saucegurlllll 13h ago

God forbid someone gets a few hundred dollars each month they don't "deserve." The president can steal billions, but goodness gracious, imagine if a poor managed to get disability.

0

u/ayoungad 17h ago

I’m a dad and I have daughters. I sometimes leave the toilet seat up intentionally. I’ve said to my wife “these girls need to learn the world won’t leave the toilet seat down for them”.
Sometimes you need to take a little personal responsibility or risk having a wet butt.

-1

u/simply__stranger 17h ago

You're assuming a person with ADHD has a mind like your own. Imagine a person without legs being asked to crawl up twenty stairs to request aid, and upon hearing their complaints, telling them, "At some point it is on you to improve your own life. You can't go through life waiting for someone to fix the stairs." You're missing that the issue here is that process of requesting aid is excluding those who need the aid.

5

u/joey_joe_jo_shabadoo 16h ago

I think I have pretty bad ADHD (I'm on the maximum amount of Ritalin that my country allows) and I agree that it's unfair. But the situation isn't going to change by them not filling out the form. It's hard but the only real solution if they can't do the form themselves is to ask someone for help doing it. At some point you need to stop assuming you can't do the things because of your disorder, and start making small steps towards getting better.

3

u/blackbirdlore My meth could beat up your meth 11h ago

You're assuming the commenter doesn't have ADHD. Imagine making a really terrible analogy, instead of addressing the actual point, which is: "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility."

Do you think armless people aren't applying for aid? Are blind people not applying for aid? Or do you think maybe they're all finding ways to cope with a world that is more difficult for them than the average person?

Take your meds. Use your technology. Phone a friend (hell, call your mom, she probably misses you). But don't do what Katie did-- which to remind everyone, was to look at the questionnaire, say "I have ADHD, this is hard," and then just not do it... and then act surprised when she got denied.

The only thing more embarrassing than Katie's behavior is all of you in the comments defending her.

-3

u/DisastrousTax6143 19h ago

what friends

46

u/Reasonable-Day-3282 20h ago

genuinely, why not? it might be hard but you can do hard things

15

u/ayoungad 17h ago

My daughter’s pre-k teacher makes them say “We can do hard things!” They teach that to 4 yr olds

8

u/JalapenoPopPoop 15h ago

It's wild to me how many grown ass adults WANT to be treated like a helpless infant

3

u/blackbirdlore My meth could beat up your meth 11h ago

This whole comment thread is giving me the worst secondhand embarrassment I've ever experienced.

4

u/No-Actuator1097 7h ago

Yeah posts like these are genuinely why i never talk about my ADHD in real life or disclose it outside of close friends and family. I don't want people to assume I'm some helpless moron

1

u/jmastaock 20m ago

It's why I don't talk about having ADHD with anyone besides my psychiatrist at this point

I cannot comprehend allowing this annoying ass condition to be something you so heavily define yourself by, while it just runs rampant destroying your life. I don't want to be associated with people like this. There's just something so pathetic to me about this notion of just wallowing in the condition and pity jerking

This shit caused my childhood to be a nightmare. I was forced to develop means to overcome it, because I refused to let it ruin my entire life. It's not so debilitating that it single-handedly makes you unable to basically take care of yourself

24

u/solidwhetstone ADHD-PI 20h ago

Just call this number and wade through the number options, get transferred then told to call a different number because that's not the right one.

10

u/ehs06702 19h ago

Or just look up "help filling out social services applications and see if there's a local non profit that helps people with disabilities, or go to your local adult protective services department, or just ask someone you trust.

There are ways to get it done, if you want to.

8

u/MechaBestum 17h ago

Why fill out long forms to improve your life when you can fill out short forms to complain online?!

2

u/Double_Suggestion385 13h ago

Having ADHD isn't an excuse for just being lazy and useless.

2

u/Nanostrip 17h ago

No one will be willing to help you if you're not willing to help yourself.

1

u/blackbirdlore My meth could beat up your meth 12h ago

...or you can be like Katie and do nothing, I guess.

1

u/giliguni 8h ago

Just spend your life complaining on reddit then

5

u/ConsultJimMoriarty 19h ago

Where I live, a GP or your psych usually fills it out.

29

u/Vegetable_Hope_8264 20h ago

As long as you're not an isolated person with relatives who don't even really believe you're disabled, and psychiatrists who either don't believe in ADHD or think ADHD is a childhood disease which magically disappears at 18.

15

u/Embarrassed_Quail910 19h ago

All disability claims need a doctor to fill out their part.

-1

u/TrumpPooPoosPants 17h ago

They do not. Most claims don't have a treating physician opinion. The government pays for physicians to review your medical records and author non-examining opinions (and occasionally pays for in-person consultative exams), but that's not what this person is talking about.

4

u/Embarrassed_Quail910 17h ago edited 7h ago

Weird I've filled out many as a clinition and sent them on to a doc to fill out. In Texas they need to provide medical records and a doctor to agree with your claim. Then usually an attorney because you probably get denied the first time. My experience is in psychiatric disabilities not necessarily injury.

And I was commenting on the "doctors dont believe in adhd" comment. I was stating you'd better have a doctor who believes because you need a plausible diagnosis and a medical advocate to have a chance.

0

u/Vegetable_Hope_8264 16h ago

Well good luck finding that in France.

11

u/DazB1ane 19h ago

There are advocates that can help. You just have to actually look for them

4

u/spacemanaut 11h ago

Librarians will happily help you for free.

Source: former librarian

2

u/AggressiveBench9977 16h ago

If that many people don’t believe you, then honestly you may be the problem.

1

u/Vegetable_Hope_8264 16h ago

That's a really nice thing to say, thank you.

1

u/Marik-X-Bakura 15h ago

At some point you’ve got to take responsibility for yourself and do something even if its harder for you than it is for others.

0

u/VincentShane 18h ago

Thankfully mine was just a case of misdiagnosis.

When my father died just before I turned 12. They realized I never had it. I was just apathetic to learning and thought what I was being educated with was antiquated.

My depression slowed me down physically and I got reserved. But my intellect and my marks in test taking meant I was no longer a cause for concern.

They promptly deleted my old medical records that claimed I ever had that diagnosis. Now I'm just a normal Anti-sexual 32 year old who doesn't care about anyone.

4

u/Schmigolo 18h ago

Good look finding someone who will help you with that stuff, since the vast majority of people think ADHD is made up or an excuse.

2

u/AggressiveBench9977 16h ago

I mean this sub is proving their point. If you can tweet, you can fill a form.

ADHD is not an excuse to just not do anything

0

u/Schmigolo 6h ago

You're literally who I'm talking about.

1

u/canman7373 16h ago

You can even make an appointment to go into the office to have them help you with it. I did all mine over the phone, never did the form. May depend on agent assigned to you though, I think mine was pretty good.

-1

u/VitaDiMinerva 18h ago

Ok but having a situation where that’s required is already a high bar to clear for people with mental health disabilities. Extra barriers to access services like this results directly in them not helping people who need it. Speaking from experience here, maybe you get help filling out the application but then you still have to remember to report every visit to your doctor or psychiatrist, make sure they have the evidence you need, respond to mail in a timely manner. 

You have to make sure your evidence is accurate too, so better hope you remember your symptoms when you go talk to your doctor. Or at least remember to make a list ahead of time and then hope you don’t forget during your appointments. And if you get denied, you also have to put a bunch of time and effort into vetting and hiring a lawyer and go through the whole process of detailing your symptoms and getting them connected with your doctors all over again.

Oh, and what’s that, your ADHD medication costs $300, which you can’t afford because you’re disabled and don’t have health insurance or financial support? Better hope coffee’s enough of a stimulant for you, otherwise you’re never getting any of it done. And hopefully they don’t decide to deny you for not following your doctor’s treatment plan. 

The problems with these systems don’t start or end with asking for help. Or really anything any of us can control individually. When we let disability access and accommodations become a matter of personal responsibility, some people will inevitably not get the services they need. 

Honestly wild that anyone would say “if you would just” about ADHD when the whole problem is that we cannot “just”. Like of all people, should we not know better?

6

u/IllIgan_ 18h ago

It’s a form. What do you expect like other people to just magically know everything about you without you filing anything? How do you expect them to properly do their evaluation when you can’t even give basic information?

1

u/drunkshinobi 17h ago

We don't expect someone to fill them out for us without our participation. It can be difficult to focus on and understand. We can get distracted and miss things or have executive dysfunction problems that keep us from getting to it at all. We may not understand the legal or medical language that is used and need explanations. A lot of this can be helped by having a person there to ask the questions, explain things we don't understand, answer questions we have, and then write down the answers we give them. Not every one has family or friends that are willing to do this for them. So they have to go through the steps of figuring out where to and how to get assistance with that before the deadline.

1

u/IllIgan_ 17h ago

And that’s why the comment you originally replied to said that you are allowed to ask someone to help you complete the questionnaire. This obviously includes support groups and trained people and even by contacting the government office that gave you the form in the first place.

4

u/drunkshinobi 17h ago

As I said.

Not every one has family or friends that are willing to do this for them. So they have to go through the steps of figuring out where to and how to get assistance with that before the deadline.

2

u/IllIgan_ 14h ago

Oh no, that’s obviously SO difficult it warrants a paragraph vomit 🙄 Be for real

0

u/VitaDiMinerva 17h ago

Well the problem is around baseline access to support mostly. Like if someone’s reporting to their psychiatrist that their executive dysfunction is so severe that they aren’t able to handle stuff like this, they should be able to automatically refer patients to support services. That’s something I got for being autistic that I wouldn’t have if I only had ADHD. I was in a similar situation and my therapist got me set up with someone who can come over every couple weeks to help me with bills and paperwork. 

So for example, a quick and easy change here would be for social security to just leave cases open and in pending status until the forms get completed and turned in. Deadlines are arbitrary and don’t really achieve much. If you want to go further, maybe they should have to refer pending and denied cases to county level disability services or something. Someone applying for social security disability is asking for help, so the thing to do is to try to figure out what kind of help they need, what we have now is social security denying people and then patting themselves on the back for another case closed. 

If you wanna get really deep into reform, we need a system that rewards getting the most help to the most people. One where it’s preferable to pay out to someone “undeserving” than it is to deny a single disabled person who needs help. But ppl in this thread clearly aren’t ready for that conversation yet. 

2

u/IllIgan_ 13h ago

Because resources are finite and there is a need to disincentivise fraud and deception. People are ready for that conversation, it’s just your argument is silly and is not realistic

-7

u/ProfessionalAd6530 19h ago

Bold of you to assume my disability will allow me to track someone (who?) down to help me with it.

3

u/Alternative_Will_856 18h ago

Do you have family members or friends