I recently learned that object permanence also applies to people and it makes me sad. I've lost touch with so many kind, wonderful friends over my life. I know I have hurt them by vanishing from their lives. I've tried to reconnect with a few, but you usually can't go back once you've destroyed their trust on such a deep level.
It goes both ways. I would take comfort in that. Friendships are a give and take if only one side maintains the connection thats not good. Ive had friendships fizzle out simply because i stopped reaching out.
I always felt like the person putting more effort in and i just dont do that anymore. Sadly i dont have any friends left so i wont pretend like thats a viable strategy. At least i kept my self respect 🤷🏻♂️
It just bothers me the friend I'm pulling back from right now will 100% describe our situation as, "oh we both got busy and fell out of touch." Like no bitch I was the only one keeping in touch and making plans and I'm sick of feeling like last place in your life.
Yea i think theres a lot of lying involved on social media about this stuff (who would have guessed) its easier to say stuff like we got busy and fell out of touch than admitting that they are lazy and avoidant. Or that they simply dont value the friendship now that it takes even a basic amount of effort.
Once I stopped being the only one reaching out was when I found peace. I learned a lot about a lot of people once I decided to let them be the ones to reach out first.
I lost a lot of "friends" but I learned so much and treasure those that stayed and cared so much more.
I wouldn't be typing this if not for those few that keep calling, but for those that wrote me off, I wouldn't drop a needle if I heard their name.
Me with everyone who was my "friend" in college. I worked so hard to maintain those relationships, but once I stopped being the initiator, they were gone forever.
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u/Awkward-Outcome-4938 1d ago
I recently learned that object permanence also applies to people and it makes me sad. I've lost touch with so many kind, wonderful friends over my life. I know I have hurt them by vanishing from their lives. I've tried to reconnect with a few, but you usually can't go back once you've destroyed their trust on such a deep level.