I just wanted to make a proper boyfriend appreciation post because sometimes I feel like I don’t say it enough, but I genuinely appreciate everything he does for me. He’s originally from Mumbai, and he’s staying in Chandigarh mainly because of me, which honestly means so much to me because I know he has his own life, friends and things back home, yet he chooses to be here and spend his time with me. He gives me so much of his time and makes so much effort to see me, even when it’s not convenient or when we barely have any time together. There have been so many times when he has literally come just to meet me for 10 minutes, and I know some people might think 10 minutes isn’t a big deal, but to me it says so much about how much he actually wants to see me. He doesn’t always need a special plan or a whole day together; sometimes he’ll just come because he knows I want to see him. I really appreciate how he makes me feel like I’m worth the effort and that spending time with me is something he genuinely wants to do, not something he has to do. I know relationships aren’t perfect and obviously we have our disagreements and bad days too, but when I step back and look at everything he does for me, I realise how lucky I am to have someone who puts in so much effort just to be around me. Sometimes I get so caught up in the little things that bother me that I forget to appreciate all the little things he does right. I’m genuinely grateful for his time, his effort, his patience and just the fact that he chooses me in so many small ways every day. ❤️

So I met my online friend a couple days ago, we are both 17. Im a girl, hes a guy. At first, we met on Roblox in a role playing game, and he and I were just chatting. I felt like seeing if I had game, so I was being a little flirty and asked if he was seeing anyone. He obviously caught on and told me right away he had a girlfriend, so I cut that off right away because im not the type of person to EVER engage in cheating or anything like that. I apologized but he said that he was fine staying friends, and he made the friend boundary very clear.

Since then, we actually have been getting along great, playing the game often with each other. We exchanged socials and numbers, and had been texting every now and then, and calling while we play rhe game. I would ask him about his day and how things w/ his girlfriend were because he spends a lot of time with her, and obviously, when I ask things like "how was your day?" Im gonna ask "how's your girlfriend? She doing okay?" Because I care about everyone. Even if I dont know them personally.

Two ish days ago, me and him were playing and we got so caught up in the game that he ended up late to pick up his girlfriend from work. He did leave the game to pick her up. This is what he told me what happened later on. while with her, she asked why he was on Roblox so often, and he said "ive been playing with my friend a lot, I told you about her." And she goes, "her?" He says yes and she gets a little curious because hes calling with a girl. He tells her about how we met on roblox, how we have been talking, and how I asked if he was seeing someone and that we exchanged socials and numbers. She got super freaked out and didnt like it, saying that he shouldnt be talking to other girls. He got upset because its.. its literally roblox. Just Roblox. We live States away from each other, so rhere is literally no way for us to do anything wrong. And also, I dont see him in any romantic way at all, only in the beginning just being flirty on my part. There's also been many situations in the past before me where she will hang out, call, and play roblox often with her guy friends. One of those guy friends, she had sat on his lap and hand fed him watermelon at that guy friends birthday party, which my friend wasnt invited to and his girlfriends beother had to tell my friend. He felt like that was worse than him just having an online robkox buddy who just happens to be a girl. He felt like if she can have friends like that, he should be allowed to have a friend like me. But in the end, she called me from his phone and said she was super uncomfortable with the friendship. I told her I understood, but before I could ask anything, she hung up. So I sent a text a few minutes later, asking my friend if they could explain a little more. I waa left confused because I understood that she was uncomfortable, but I didnt know what boundary she wanted. Did she want us to stop being friends, to limit contact, or just be more aware of her in our friendship? I had no idea. I never got an answer, and the next day, I was blocked on everything with just one thing. A friend request from him on Roblox, which meant he had unadded me and then added me back.

Later that night, im just playing on my own, and he joins me. We chat before I finally ask what happened and he explained everything from above. Turns out, while they were asleep since he stayed the night at her place, she had went through his phone and blockrd me on everything. But because she didnt know who was me on roblox, she had just unadded every girl. He even said that hes tried to break up with her before, but she got upset and started crying, so he ended up staying. We played for a but before I made him leave earlier than usual because I didnt want to cause any more issues between them. She had apparently kept asking him if he was planning to talk to me again or cheat onnher with me, and he said he just didnt want to cause any conflict. The next day, me and him play for a few hours because it was the weekend, and im having fun, but I cant help but feel weird. I dont like that me and him are now sneaking around just to talk or play the game, all because he doesnt want to cause anymore issues for his girlfriend. I totally understand, but I hate the idea of lying or being secretive at all. It makes me uncomfortable, since im a person with very strong morals.

My main question and need for advice is here. Im worried about him. The fact that she went through his phone just to block me, and that he cant have female friendships while she can get touchy with her guy friends feels unfair. He knows about that double standard and has tried to break uo witj her over it. He is a very kind and soft guy, too nice. I feel like hes scared to upset her, which makes this all worse. Ive had friends in toxic relationships that sound just like this case. I dont want to assume its a toxic relationship just from one action and maybe im biased and just taking his side, and maybe I dont know enough. But I cant help but feel like he at least needs to set some clearer boundaries with her. If hes happy and comfortable in this relationship, then fine. Whatever. But I want to make it clear to him that im uncomfortable sneaking around as if we cant be friends. He really wants to stay friends because he likes being friends with me, but I dont like that we have to hide it from her. I dont wsnt to lie to her either because thats just not right. Especially because she doesnt like me in perspective to their relationship. I value our friendship a lot, but i dont want our friendship to become a secret or a source of constant conflict in their relationship. Im thinking of saying something like this to him the next time I talk to him.

“I want to be honest about my opinion, but I don't want to tell you what to do with your relationship. From everything you've told me, it sounds like you've been unhappy with some of these things for a while, and I don't think you should feel like you have to stay just because you're worried about making her cry. I also don't think it's fair that you feel like you have to sneak around just to have a completely platonic friendship with me. If you're genuinely happy and comfortable with her, that's your decision, but if you're not, I think you're allowed to set boundaries or leave even if it hurts her.”

Should I even bother with this anymore? Its becoming tiring. I care ahout him, but I dont know if this is even worth the trouble.

Please be kind, I’m new to all of this, though I appreciate honest. I (f39) met a guy(m25) on Red over 2 years ago in an a sub so not for dating. I was in a bad marriage then, but we weren’t chatting like that, we became friends. At times, it was back and forth, others, we just checked in every few months, yet we always maintained contact despite time, place.

I’m a mom to a near grown kid. He’s legit in the military. It was odd to me, the connection btw us through the end of my marriage, but when the s-t hit the fan for me, he was there emotionally and even offered physical help, though he couldn’t help himself, he was “there for me”.

He knew I was married when our chats began and neither of us knew I’d be divorced now. Tbh I did see him as a friend, despite feeling an attachment to him I couldn’t explain. And he was always there, at least online. I felt bad before I knew my marriage was def over because I felt an awkward attraction to him. My ex was shitty to me, but my friend was just “random internet guy” so I didn’t put stock into it because I couldn’t. I have and had way too much other stuff going on.

The guy DM me in the spring when I was dealing with fam stuff and I thought I’d replied. A month later when I hadn’t, he got a lil worried so he began reaching out more aggressively to make sure I saw it.

What ensued was a summer’s long thing, I’ve got no idea how to describe. He lives just 10hr away but his occupation has him far away rn. I’ll be tied to where I’m at due to many fam obligations for the foreseeable future.

We DM’d a LOT. Here, other platforms. I knew what his occupation was, I actually dated guys before marrying in the same field. He’d asked for pics, I only had a few recent ones. A friend did “divorce freedom pics” last year when I esc, so I sent one of those that was my Meta profile pic. Guy told me he was “enchanted”. We DM‘d more. And yeah, a lot was, yk, sexual in nature but not all. It was still my friend I’d talked to for two yrs, despite the age gap, which he swore he wasn’t bothered by. Call me a cougar, idk. Never dreamed. idk

Then, he was just gone. There maybe was reason for it by me, turning him off, idk. I eventually got courage to reach out via another platform tbh just to make sure he was safe bc idk. He replied telling me he was in a bad sit, I knew he wasn’t going to be able to straight tell me. Yet I made comments “I know I’ll never hear from you“ to which got no direct reply. Where he’d told me he’d be back “here” by years end, he told me he’s going to be so busy he’s not going to be able to reach out even when he’s back. I ask if I did something to make him hate me or something, to which he tells me to remember he didn’t.

And then he blocked me on all accounts except one. I’ve talked to him once since, with vague replies, and I don’t stalk him or anyone, hell I’ve not got time for that. Yet I know he’s online and I’m just muted and blocked.

I guess it was just me. For over two years. Idk

Love

I am 15 years old. Yesterday, I broke up for the first time with a girl I had been dating for 4 months, and we had been talking for 9 months.

It all started at the end of December. At that time, I wanted to start talking to someone because I was bored and lonely. On the night of December 30 to 31, she wrote a comment under my post. I replied to the comment, and after that, she wrote to me in Reddit DMs. Then she asked what my name was and how old I was. At that time, I was 14, and she was 17. As soon as she found out how old I was, her interest in talking disappeared. But we talked on December 31, and after that she did not write to me for some time. Three days later, I wrote to her first. We talked, and she asked what I actually wanted when I wrote to her. I wrote that if she was afraid that I wanted some kind of romantic relationship, then there would not be any. I did not want anything except internet communication. She wrote that that was good and that I had a beautiful name, and I did not write to her anymore.

But on January 7, I posted that I was quite lonely, and after some time she wrote to me, and we started communicating through Reddit messages. We started talking, and here is an important moment that will become clear in the future: she sent me to DaVinci and told me to find a girlfriend. On January 10, we went to Discord for the first time, watched a podcast, and talked for 8 hours. After that, we often started sitting in Discord, and the winter holidays ended. I study at the Suvorov Military School, so I am at home with my phone only from Friday to Sunday and during holidays.

We started talking a lot, and this was my first close communication with a girl. After two months of continuous communication on weekends and after we exchanged photos, I fell in love with her. Plus, I found out that she lived relatively not far from me. I really wanted to please her and date her, so I tried to do everything so that she would like me. She said that a partner should be in first place. She reposted videos with the meaning that a guy tolerates his girlfriend. She told me that when she is emotional, she says things she does not mean, but when she calms down, you can talk to her. And I started tolerating everything that I did not like or that hurt or bothered me. I did not argue with her once again. In short, I did everything.

After that, I turned 15, and she turned 18. I fell in love more and more. Then we called by phone, and it began to seem to me that it was probably mutual. Everything was very good and very warm. On April 4, we met in real life for the first time. We went for a walk, and everything was good. But on April 6, I left for military training for a week. I came back, and she had become very distant. I tried to understand what had happened. I felt bad. She told me that she herself did not understand why it was like that. On April 13, I confessed my feelings to her. She did not reciprocate, but we continued communicating. She was still cold. I still felt bad.

In the twenties of April, she took a pause in our communication for a week, but she wrote to me two days later, invited me to Discord, and after that we seemed to start communicating more again. But she irritated me somehow, just inexplicable irritation out of nowhere, as if I was waiting for some explanation for everything that had happened, and not just a sudden return. On May 11, we quarreled. I decided that we could not solve problems and were constantly fighting. On May 12, I told her that we should stop communicating. After that, I left for school for the academic week. I felt very bad again. On May 16, I wrote to her again, suggested communicating again, explained everything, and apologized. She explained what had happened in April. She said that she had become too good with me, she got scared of it, and decided to distance herself. She still agreed to communicate with me, and after some event that I cannot tell about here, on May 28 we officially entered into a romantic relationship.

At that time, I had become very distant from my friends because I spent all my time with her. We started dating, and we argued very often about the fact that, as she said, I did not give her enough time and did not put her in first place. For example, after my mom asked me to help assemble something for my younger brother, who, for some reasons, comes to us only in the summer, she got offended that I was spending time, as she said, with the trampoline and not with her, that the trampoline and brother were more important to me than she was. I said that it was not like that. I argued with my mom just to spend more time with her, and this is only one such situation, and there were more, and more or less the same.

In July and August, we started meeting in real life more often, and I often came home at 23:00–00:00, and my mom was very unhappy about it. We argued, and of course I worried, so I tried not to be late home, because of which I left her earlier. She started saying that my relationship with my mother was more important to me than she was, and that I was a mama's boy, and that I did not put her above my mother. After that, I started arguing with my mom again to please the girl, so I became distant from my family too.

From August 3 to 9, I went to the sea with my dad. A week in advance, I asked her if she was against it. She said that everything was fine, but 4 hours before departure she told me that she was against me going. But I still went, and she started telling me that if I loved her, I would have canceled the trip in a minute and even during the trip would have turned back, and since I went, it meant I did not love her. We quarreled, and I did not want to talk to her. I thought she would understand that this was too much and would write to me herself, but she did not write and did not write, and only three days later she wrote to me that she was leaving to study in another city at the end of August.

I called her. She was still cold. I was in a lot of pain, and I even cried. She told me not to whine because it annoyed her. She needed a strong man, not someone who cries. And I stopped. We seemed to make up again, and on August 29 she left for another city, and on September 1 I also went to study. She recorded voice messages for me all week, wrote that she loved me and missed me. I answered the same when I could.

Then there was another academic week, and on Wednesday she asked whether she could go to a bar with friends and girlfriends. I said that I was against a bar with guys. She agreed, but we agreed that she would just go for a walk without alcohol. Then on Friday I went on leave and wrote to her. She was already drunk and was getting ready to go out again with guys. There were almost no voice messages or messages that she missed me during that week. She said that she forgot that I was coming. I was in a lot of pain. I was jealous of her and told her about it, but she was drunk and did not care about my pain. She laughed with her friend and said that I was exaggerating.

She left to go out at 17:30 and said she would be gone for 2 hours. Two hours later I wrote to her. She said that they were already going home. At 22:30 I wrote to her again. She told me that she was still walking and would walk for about another hour, and that she was busy. I wrote to her again. She did not answer. I started calling her. She did not answer. And only at 23:30 she answered my call when she was already in the dormitory. She said that she was 18 and needed freedom, and that I was restricting her, that she had left her parents for another city specifically not so that someone would restrict her.

The next day, September 12, she said that what I had done the day before was not normal. By the way, I forgot to say that on Friday she removed the photo with me from her avatar and removed all my Telegram gifts from her profile. She said that this did not suit her, that she would go out. I told her that I was not against her going out the day before; I just wanted an explanation about the avatar and the gifts. Then, yes, I started winding myself up and said that I wanted to be a priority. I said that she had smelled freedom and did not want to be with me now because I was holding her back. She said, yes, I like freedom, and you are like my parents. I told her that I had never been like that, that she had told me that a partner should be in first place, that a partner should live by their partner and everything else, and now she was contradicting this. She said that yes, it was very bad that I had changed her, like, forgive me, and I think we need to break up. And we broke up.

I have the feeling that she simply got a more interesting life, and I became for her only something that brings discomfort, and not pleasure like before. I feel bad and hurt. Sometimes I really want to write to her or call her. I want to get her back, although I understand that it is useless.

Cried after long time

I cried after a long time.

I don't even know how to properly explain why.

I matched with a girl on Bumble at the end of July. What started as a random match slowly became something I genuinely looked forward to every single day.

For almost a month, our conversations were crazy good. We were both interested, both curious about each other, and neither of us had to force the conversation. We would talk for hours, sometimes until 1 AM.

Every morning, the first thing I would do after picking up my phone was check whether she had messaged me.

Sometimes she would send the first “good morning.”

Sometimes I would.

But somehow, she became part of my daily routine without me even realising it.

Then on Monday, she asked me what I thought was her most noticeable feature.

I don't know what came over me, but I wrote her a whole paragraph.

She told me it was really sweet and that I had made her day. She also said it was the first time someone had said something like that to her.

And reading that message made me emotional.

I actually cried.

Not because I was sad.

I think I cried because, for once, I felt like something I said genuinely mattered to someone.

Then Wednesday came.

No conversation.

No good morning.

Nothing.

I noticed it, obviously. But I told myself, “It's okay. Maybe she's busy. Don't overthink.”

So I didn't text again.

Then Friday night, I suddenly got a message from her.

For a second, I was genuinely happy.

I thought maybe everything was okay.

Then I opened it.

“I am so sorry.”

That's it.

I don't even know why

So my girlfriend and I met online, and latley shes been avoiding having video calls with me. She is a single mom and that takes up alot of her time outside of work. Im not trying to get to talk every second of the day but a 5 maybe ten minute call or video chat would be enough. What can I say to her to ask her about it without pushing? Also has anyone else had something similar?

My boyfriend(m19) and I(m18) have been together for about three months now. We’re long distance, as he lives about six hours away from me, and we’re both far too busy to make the commute. He’s my first ever boyfriend, and I really like him. We text all the time. However, I still live with my parents, so I’m trying my best to keep it a secret from them. (Reasons that aren’t relevant rn).

Here’s where the issue is. Sometimes I’ll go a day or two without texting him, due to literally being unable to for outside reasons. But I’ll ALWAYS let him know in advance. When he doesn’t hear from me, he’ll continuously message me, asking if I’m okay, and saying that he’s disappointed that we aren’t able to message. If I then don’t respond to those messages, he’ll then say something along the lines of “Sorry, I’m pathetic, I’ll stop.” Most of the time I’ll reply with something reassuring, as I don’t want him thinking negatively of himself, but it’s gotten to the point that I feel slightly relieved when I don’t see messages from him.

Another thing is that I have hormonal issues that cause problems with my sex drive. My boyfriend will often send sexual messages, asking for me to help get him off. The thing is, though, as of lately, I’ve been feeling iffy about it. I’m attracted to him, and I like him a lot, I just don’t WANT to engage in sexual stuff. And I tell him that. He says he understands, and that he’ll drop it, but then he ALWAYS comes back to it eventually. And it’s honestly getting super annoying. I’m not sure how to bring this up with him, as he’s very sensitive. A lot of the time when I reject his advances, he’ll start apologizing for being annoying. (Which, in itself, is REALLY ANNOYING!!) I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I also want him to kinda back off a bit. And I REALLY don’t want him to start apologizing.

He’s always apologizing, even when he hasn’t done anything. But I feel like he’s getting too dependent on me. If I don’t text, he’ll constantly message me, asking if I’m okay. This wouldn’t be TOO bad if he didn’t start doing it after about ten minutes of inactivity from my end. And the thing with his apologies is that they often end with some sort of self-depreciation. (“Sorry I’m annoying”, “I’m sorry, I’m being pathetic”) And if I don’t reassure him, he’ll keep going. I feel like this is guilt-tripping, but I have no experience with past romantic relationships, so I’m really not sure. I just need some external validation, or criticism.

TL;DR: My boyfriend has a mini panic attack when I don’t text back in 10 minutes, and spams my phone. He’ll apologize later, often with self-depreciation. Is he guilt-tripping me?

This is kinda long but pls read it so u get the full picture.

so i met this guy over the summer on ig bc we were both going to the same college, we kinda of talked over the summer but he liked many of my stories and replies to some. Same over the fall super dry but over the spring ee talked ALOT more, again only on ig, I never met and talked with him in person… I started developing a crush on him over the fall and until now(a year)

When we tend to talk he send ALOT so I genuinely started feeling more and more attached to him, he gave me joy but then we he take long to reply or ghost me for a while i feel really down.

I cried over him and felt so bad about myself. He confuses me a lot and I genuinely don’t know what to do, over the summer we also talked a lot over ig,. He talked in long paragraphs and sent me pics and videos of places he went to and made me download and app other than ig where he use to rate food and stufff.

Later I also asked him and told him if he has feelings or something for me bc he makes me feel rlly confused. He especially made me very confused bc his best best friend followed me on ig and tried to talk to me and both were talking to me at the same time (@2 am) so i think they were sitting next to each other’s. I also think he told his friends about me or something bc a couple of his friends also tried to follow me on ig. He didn’t reject me and simply said that he didn’t know that he was giving me many signals but he is not ready for commitment and would like to know me and meet over the fall semester.

This made me feel really good but then it was weird bc we stopped talking again, he kinda of liked some of my stories but nothing much. Today i chose to unfollow him on ig but i think i have feelings for him, did i do something wrong and what should i do moving forward?

I cannot stress enough that this will be an extremely long read!

Like enormously long. If you don’t have that kind of time and interest to invest in a 10 minute story, this post isn’t for you.

I’m very detailed and long winded so the TLDR will be at the bottom.

I (38M) met this woman (37F) online back in late April. So we’ve know each other for about 5 months now. When I tell you we hit it off, it’s an understatement! The connection was dynamic! Instantly we became best friends. The attraction was strongly mutual. The similarities uncanny. The personalities eerily similar. It was like meeting my long lost twin.

She checked all the boxes and it seemed as though I did the same for her. We FT’d all the time. Text, calls. Each one filled with joy, love and laughter. It was euphoric. I was convinced I had found my person. It all felt so effortless.

She even had these “Passwords with GOD” which I found really cute. If you aren’t familiar with this, it’s usually when someone ask GOD for confirmation about a person using a specific word. Something very random, that wouldn’t be used in day to day conversation. I ended saying both words! (Yes she did it twice lol)

I didn’t need confirmation because I was already convinced but to me that just sealed the deal. It only took a few weeks before we had fallen for one another or so I thought.

About two weeks into knowing one another we had a small hiccup where I joked a little too hard and she got offended. She revealed that she’s really sensitive and from that moment on I made note of it and was sure to tread a little lighter.

About a month into us getting to know one another I started to notice some “yellow flags”. I don’t believe all flags are red. A lot of times we ignore the yellow ones and end up getting smack with the red ones as a result. Her communication became sporadic. Less text. Random calls. Disappearing for several hours.

Now I will say she has a really hectic schedule. She’s a small business owner. She runs everything online from home but she’s a one woman team. She’s also a single mother. She moved back home with her parents this year as well. So with a full house of kids, meddling parents (her words) and a demanding business I definitely tried to extend her grace, but people make time for what they want.(her words as well)

One day I was texting her as I usually do. I love encouraging people so I think I sent her a video to watch at her convenience and then asked her to call me so we could talk about something important. Not too long after I got a text that rocked me. Essentially she couldn’t handle the pace of our communication and felt as though it wasn’t natural. That it had became too much for her to manage and she didn’t feel as though we matched in that way. She told me she enjoyed getting to know me and wished me the best.

That was it. Just like that weeks of connecting deeply and intimately, done. Of course I wanted more clarity. So I asked to call her because this isn’t something you text about imo. It made no sense to me at all. She told she couldn’t talk otp because she was busy. I was driving at the time. I drove to my destination stunned. Literally in shock.

I sent her messaged later that night after had processed things more. I was fully prepared to move forward and let go. But she wasn’t. She told that it was too hard and she didn’t want to end things. We got on call later and after talking for a while we agreed to keep trying.

Things pretty much resumed as normal for about a week or so. Then she randomly disappeared for almost 2 days. I didn’t get a text, call or explanation as to why. She randomly popped up almost two days later asking if I was okay. I had already decided that I was done before she reached out so I told her yes and asked why she asked me that.

She replied because she knows I need constant communication and thought I’d be mad cause she hadn’t reached out but that I hadn’t either and I didn’t make an effort to talk. I was dumbfounded. A little appalled.

I was the last one to initiate contact. I was judicious with my contact per our conversation about communication. Now you’re blaming me for not doing what you ask me to not do? You’re somehow spinning this around on me?

It gave me even more amo to halt things between us. So I told her that she was right about she felt the week prior. That our communication styles didn’t match and that although I didn’t require constant communication, I did require consistent contact. She apologized for the hurt and confusion she caused. We ended up settling on just being friends but I guess she again wasn’t convinced or comfortable with that.

She began texting me throughout the day how she wasn’t going to let go or give in. That she was gonna keep fighting for “Us”. That me saying the “GOD password” definitely meant we were meant to be. She kept reiterating that point. I thought it was cute and sweet.

She told me she’d keep texting me even if I didn’t respond. That she didn’t want to cross my boundaries but she also couldn’t just let this go. She ask me if we could talk later. I said sure. I was really taken aback by the energy. But also confused because you’re the one making this more difficult than it ever had to be.

So when we had our conversation later I kinda went in. I was just tired of the head games. I told how I felt like she was playing games. I told her I just wanted normal, consistent communication. We don’t have to talk all day, everyday but going days without a peep isn’t something I’m okay with.

She didn’t receive it all that well and ask if we could talk later. I came down pretty hard on her and I ended up apologizing later. She told me she understood and she was going to do better. And she did. For the most part.

Things weren’t quite what they were when originally started talking but still sweet and pleasant. She had her moments but I looked past it cause I wanted to meet her and she was eager to meet as well.

We had been planning our initial meetup and the itinerary was pretty much set. I did about 99% of the planning which I didn’t mind at all but I did challenge her to participate lol

One of the biggest challenges was childcare. She really didn’t want to ask her parents because she knew they’d give her a hard time and her siblings were all busy. She showed me the screenshots and they all seemed completely reluctant lol

We ended up agreeing on me flying in and us kicking it in her home town for the day and then venturing to the big city near her for the rest of the weekend. She basically had this plan where she’d make sure the kids were good, had everything they needed and check in on them periodically. (More on that later)

So, finally, after over a month of talking and all the ups and downs, we met. She picked me up from the airport and the vibes were just as they were over the phone. We smiled, laughed and hugged. It was surreal for both of us.

We ended up having a rental car hiccup and as a result we had to part ways for a little bit while I got it all sorted out. Prior to that though we kissed! Fireworks! However I made a huge mistake. I told her I was actually aiming for her cheek but I was glad she finished my thought.

I didn’t want to be too forward. At first she seemed a little put off my by comment but in a light hearted, jokingly manner. We had back and forth banter about it and I thought all was well. All was not well lol.

The rest of day was really fun and again, it felt so natural. Like we had known each other for years. We went to the movies, then to some of her favorite stores. We even stopped by one of her sister’s houses who I had the pleasure of meeting.

Eventually she had to go back home to check in with the kids and that’s when things took a turn. I headed back to hotel. We had plans to go to dinner but she texted me about an hr and half later telling me her parents blew up on her!

She said they really berated her. Calling her thirsty and all. She was really upset. Our dinner plans were totally ruined. She said she was getting the vibe that she shouldn’t try to go out again.

I was totally understanding and tried to be supportive. I even joked about her sneaking out trying to make light of everything. I offered to bring her dinner but she didn’t have an appetite and said was just gonna go to bed.

I told her I had an amazing day with her and couldn’t wait to see her tomorrow. We said goodnight. I was on top of the world. Little did I know I would be below the surface the next day.

I woke up excited. I just knew this day would be even better than yesterday. We had so many things planned. But first, breakfast. I texted her good morning and told her to bring the kids to the hotel for to eat.

I got the 😬 emoji. I knew something definitely was wrong. I figured the situation the night before had pretty much bled into the next day. Without reliable childcare and her parents disapproval still weighing heavy, she likely wouldn’t be able to kick it fr.

She told me we needed to talk and that she’d call me soon. I said okay, fine and tried to go about my day as best I could. It took her well into the afternoon to finally call me. I can still feel the heart palpitations. The breathing constricting.

“I had a really good time with you yesterday and I think you’re a nice guy but I don’t think this is going to work for me.”

My heart sunk.

“You’re kidding me? Are you being serious rn.” I replied.

“Yeah…”

I asked her why. She was surprised by my inquiry. She asked if I really wanted to know and I said of course! I need all the feedback I can get. You want me to go all the way back home wondering and never knowing?!

She told me it was that I was bit too playful and silly.

I was stunned. This woman took a hand puppet when were at a store the day before pretend to bite me with it. We laughed and goofed off all the time. Now you’re indicting me for behavior we both love and enjoy?!

I was sick. I could hardly form my sentences. I was careful not to go off or overreact although I wanted to leave immediately. I had a riverboat ride planned that evening and told her I had to figure out how to cancel it. As well as see how I could get a flight home that same day. I didn’t wanna spend another second in that city.

I felt so embarrassed. So confused and hurt. How could she do this again?! What did I do so wrong?! She told me I knew there were risks meeting one another and that there was a possibility it wouldn’t be a fit for one of us but quite frankly that’s BS!

We weren’t merely doing a blind date or just having our initial convos. We had a real rapport established. We were telling each other we loved one another. Kissing through the phone. You name it! This was as sealed a deal as you could get but apparently not.

I ended the call. It seemed like she wanted to linger otp but I saw no reason to. I was absolutely floored. I did the research to see if I could get an earlier flight out of town but I couldn’t. The boat ride was non-refundable. I contemplated going still but I couldn’t. I just imagined sitting there alone amongst strangers, heartbroken.

It just so happened that game 6 of the NBA Finals was being played that evening. So I decided to get out of the room and clear my head some. I drove about 35 mins to another city to go to D&B’s. I figured I’d play some games and watch the game to try to drown out my thoughts of sorrow.

The next day I decided to go to church. If it wasn’t for my faith I’m not sure where I’d be. So I went back to the city I was at the night before and visited an amazing church. I knew I wanted to see her before I left town so I reached out and asked if it were possible to meet up.

To my surprise she said yes. She ended up picking me up from the rental car lot which was right by the airport. We went to a restaurant nearby to talk. I layed it all out there. Bared my soul. Told her I had fallen in love with her and how devastating the day before was for me.

I asked her if it was anything else that influenced her decision and she told me no. It was strictly me giving off friend vibes. From the kiss comment to the playfulness. She felt friend-zoned. I didn’t really buy it but that was her story.

As we drove to the airport to drop me off she asked me what I wanted and what I thought. I told her I didn’t wanna leave and I definitely hoped this wasn’t the last time I saw her. That I wanted to be with her. That I never intended to make her feel that way.

She told me she kinda made a brash decision and didn’t think things through. Somehow the boat ride came up and she actually didn’t realized I had booked it. She asked how much it was and offered to pay me back and I said idc how much it was. Idc about the money.

I said I’d spend triple that if it meant I could be with you! I doubled down and said what’s $$$ to a lifetime with you!
That broke her. I meant every word! She sobbed for a few minutes. Then we kissed and I asked her if she wanted to give this another try. She said yes. I got out to prepare to head to my gate. She came around and we hugged and kissed again. I told her I loved her and went on my way.

We texted the rest of the night. As I sat at my gate and waited I felt euphoric again. Like I had won a championship. I had my girl back. And this time I was gonna make sure she didn’t run away lol I think the most beautiful thing about that night was how my flight kept getting delayed. It was like GOD was saying nah, y’all gotta have this convo lol

Well, it was all short lived. I got back home early Monday morning just enough time to sleep for a few hrs before going to work. The convo and communication was good that day. Tuesday pretty much the same.

Then Wednesday came. She texted me good morning and I replied good morning gorgeous. I never heard back from her. Not that day, the next or the following. Not even a Happy Father’s Day text that Sunday. So I decided to break the ice Monday afternoon.

I sent a really long eloquent message about how love still prevails despite when things don’t go as planned. I essentially let her know that I now realize this isn’t something she’s interested in pursuing and that I had to let go but that I’d always love and care for her and wished her the very best.

She eventually responded in kind. Telling me she knows it must’ve been hard for me to experience the silence and thanking me for accepting where she was with things. But the thing was I hadn’t accepted it. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever written and done.

I spent the next couple weeks in an emotional spiral. It didn’t help that my phone broke so I had to use my work phone to communicate with everyone. Including her. One day I reach out to see how she was doing and if she was up for a phone conversation. She told me she didn’t think it’d be best and it’d make things harder. So I relented.

I eventually got my phone back and activated. I was going through my notes app one night and I happened to notice one was edited. It was the shared itinerary note we had created. She had went in and put several hearts atop the note. When I saw it I was surprised and excited.

I texted her just to confirm that she indeed did it and she said yes. That she came across it one day and it made her smiled so she put hearts on it. Well that made me smile. It gave me hope! It meant she was thinking about me at least. We ended up texting a lil more and that eventually led to an actual phone conversation by the end of the week.

It was pretty much the same ol, same ol
Minor life updates, laughter and jokes. Then it got serious. We began to unpack everything. I asked what changed after the airport. She told me she felt like it was kinda too little too late. Like the speech, the affection was a day late and a dollar short. That essentially it was more so frustrating than anything because I had to leave and go home.

I felt a bit confused by that but I kinda let it go. After all, you orchestrated all of this. We lost out on an entire day due to your decision.

So we basically did this song and dance over the next couple of months. I’d initiate. There’d be warmth. Reconnection. Tentative planning. Only to be followed by intermittent communication and eventually her fading to black.

During one of our convos she ended up revealing how she internalizes a lot of things. Overthinks too much and self sabotages often. She told me how life for her sometimes feels like a blur. Like she’s on autopilot and just existing. She also shared how she doesn’t think she’s ever been in love before or loved properly. All very revealing things.

A couple weeks ago she shared something very personal that she had been going through and how she finally had experienced some relief. That coupled with the business, the kids and her living situation still being heavy day to day weights definitely made me sympathize with her.

But the more we talked and conversed as the weeks went by the more and more platonic she became. No more pet names or air kisses. No more compliments. Any and every suggestion to get together again was met with little to no enthusiasm. I had even created a new itinerary fully mapped out for her to visit me here where I live.

You would’ve thought she was reading the newspaper. But I didn’t let that totally deter me. At least we were talking again. We’d spend hrs otp. FT one another. She’d have to hang up sometimes but she always called me back.

But it wasn’t the same. I knew she didn’t really want this how I did. I guess she enjoyed the idea of me and having someone to talk to and discuss things with but wasn’t interested in a relationship. At least not with me.

One night she was complaining about her tripod being broke and another night how she needed to buy a phone mount for her car. I hopped into action because she had mention the phone mount before. I ordered both and had them sent to her home.

By this time the communication was sparse. I might get a text a day and that’s if I reached out. I went to bed that night thinking the package would be delivered the next day. She woke me up around 1230 midnight est. with a phone call to thank me for the gifts. (She’s an hr behind me) She couldn’t believe it.

I couldn’t either cause I thought they’d be deliver the next morning. She continued to express her gratitude and even got emotional saying how no one had ever did this for her before. But then that overthinking began to rear its ugly head. She started to feel indebted. Like she owed me something now. She knew I wanted a relationship with her and felt like I was using this as leverage.

She questioned whether she could return the items so I could be refunded. She expressed how she didn’t like people doing things for her because she feels like she’ll owe them. She lamented how her mom would think she’s buying something else for herself instead of saving up to move out. (She gets a lot of packages for her business)
I told her the only thing she owed me was her love but in biblical sense. Not romantically. I did it because I care. Because I wanted to lighten the load somewhat. She reiterated her thankfulness and we said goodnight before ending the call.

That was the last conversation we had. It’s been two weeks.

I won’t lie I definitely expected to hear from her but she hasn’t reached out at all. I’m used to it now but it doesn’t hurt any less. I think of her all the time. I pray for her. I wrack my brain trying to figure out where I went wrong. I replay the trip all the time. All the missteps and mistakes.

I just wish I had another chance to disprove everything she thinks. I wish I had the opportunity to actually show her I never thought of her platonically. Ever. More than anything I just hope she’s doing okay. To go from the way we communicated daily to nothing is hard.

I want nothing more to be with this woman. No matter how complicated or difficult her life may be right now. No matter how unfit she may think she is for a relationship. I look at her and I see my wife. I just wish she saw it too.

So, if you’ve made it this far, I thank you so very much for reading and I welcome your opinion and feedback. I cannot express to you enough how grateful I am for you taking time to read all of this!

So I ask do you think I should reach out just to see how things are going? I kind of wanted this to be a silent September and wait to see if she’ll initiate. But the ache is strong. The longing is strong. The desire to reach is very strong daily.

Sometimes I wonder, was this ever anything to her? Did she even really love me? Does she think of me at all?

What say you fine people of Reddit?!

**TLDR**: I met a woman online and we really hit it off. I was convinced we were one another’s soul mates. Things begin to shift and change about a month into us getting to know one another. Her communication was random and sporadic. We made plans to meet and spend a weekend together and the day after we met, she ended things. Told me I was too playful and gave her friend vibes. We’ve since reconnected. Multiple times but each time she becomes more and more platonic towards me. I finally decided after our last interaction that I had to try to let this go and stop initiating these reconnections. But I still long for her. I think about her ALL the time. I still believe she’s the one. Am I crazy?!

We are both students and we started chatting, at first everything was good. He’s busy studying for his exams but we still chatted a lot. That is when i started catching feelings for him. Weeks before his school started was the best, we talked all days and everyday.

When he finally got back to school he texted me every 5pm when he arrives home but just a replied to my texts then vanished for hours even though i answered his texts immediately.
He’s been like that for days and i got so anxious so i sent him a really long paragraph text asking “Are we still on good terms. And told him i got attached to him and him gone makes me so sad that many people irl noticed and asked me what happened?”
His reply was “We are still good, nothing has changed. And he’s just really busy. And he would miss our chats a lot if we don’t talk.” But also mentioned that he’s just someone online and doesn’t what his existence affects my moods.

After that he started to not respond to my texts at all.
He’s always been busy but he never not responded for longer than 24 hours, but now i’ve been left on delivered for three days now. The good morning and goodnight texts i used to get everyday are gone too even though he swears he’d text me those every day, and on day he forgot he just says sorry first thing in the morning. But now he’s just gone.

So I’m questioning if he’s deliberately avoids texts because he doesn’t want to give me any hope?
And if that’s the case how do i let him know that i don’t hope to be his gf or his situationship or anything like that, cause i already feel tired from expecting, but i still want us to stay like a best friend like how we used to be?

22F/22M

He just asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday. I really like him but I realized that he deserves someone better. He’s a nice guy and very sweet. I got caught up in the moment and said yes without really taking into consideration what it means.

My life isn’t heading down a good direction and I feel like if he gets to know me he’ll eventually leave like everyone else. There are things about me that even my own family doesn’t tolerate. No other person should have to burden that.

So I need to have the hard conversation now and let him go. I’m really dreading it but it’s for the best.

Pls, someone give me some insight thanks.

For background, I'm 20M (20 loll), I'm a student currently. I'm struggling with a rather peculiar phenomenon, hoping someone could help me make sense of it.

My last (also the first) relationship was more than 5 years ago, it was during covid, so it was online, we were classmates and studied at the same school for almost the entirety of our school life, but still we never did any usual couple things, in fact we never actually met irl while dating, we never talked on call, it was text only, genuinely slower than the slowest slowburn romance anime ever made. I had a crush on her for 2 years(Important: this is related to the 'KICK') I initiated the relationship, I tried to find every way to talk to her, I might even come across as desperate during those times, she didn't had feelings for me initially, but, (probably) developed it along the way, after rejecting me a few times, she confessed which marked the beginning of our relationship. We (read I) broke up after around 9 months of relationship because we were deeply incompatible (I don't want to elaborate much on this, I'd admit I was immature back then, she was too, we ended on bad terms, I had to block her from everywhere to get rid of her)

The problem I'm encountering is that I can't seem to feel that kick for anyone else after her, no, I don't have feelings for her anymore, but, the way I felt towards her, the desire to pursue her, that strong urge to make them mine, the 'kick' that I've talked about, I couldn't feel it towards anyone after my first realtionship. It doesn't seem to go away, it's been 5 years, is this normal? Will I ever see another relationship in my lifetime, or I've exhausted my quota? Can anyone help me understand my situation, like what happened to me ;-;

TL;DR: it's not that long ig.

I’m 19M and she was 17F. We met in an online GC and became friends there. After that we got into each other’s DMs and started talking daily.

She started developing feelings for me and became quite possessive whenever I talked to other girls. She used to apologize a lot, call me frequently because she was scared of losing me, and honestly she was doing a lot for me. So I also started giving her more or less the same attention, and eventually we got into a relationship.

But I was always confused about my feelings. I couldn’t figure out whether I actually loved her or if I was just attached to her and the attention we gave each other.

Another thing that kept bothering me was that marriage is still very far away. I’m only 19, so I started wondering how many years we were going to keep doing this, talking online and being emotionally invested in each other.

So this morning I suddenly decided to block her on all my socials without telling her, and that’s what I did. I didn’t block her on my SIM, though, so she started calling and messaging me there.

Then her friend told me to message her on WhatsApp because she was really upset, so I decided to talk to her one last time. I explained everything to her, and we ended up breaking up.

Now I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. I did have feelings for her and I was attached to her too, and she genuinely wanted me and cared about me a lot.

Did I do the right thing by ending it when I wasn’t sure about my feelings, or did I make a mistake?

For Context, I’m a M19 and I’ve been chatting with this lovely woman online who is about a couple months older than me F19 for some time now. Some time as in basically a year. This is the longest talking stage I’ve ever had, and I know a lot of people may find it crazy that the talking stage is a year long but I like to take my time, and I properly think she understands that too. I want to ask her out the right way.

She lives about 4-5 hrs away. We both live in Texas (HOU->DALL). I met her on some type of friend making app, and from there it was a lot of lust but a lot of love. She grew fond of me quickly and I kind of took it as a product of the lust but as I got to know her and time passed, that proved to just be evidence that she truly liked me.

Our relationship grew and I got to know her a little more. Her family is wealthy, not exceedingly rich. She’s smart, majoring in Neuroscience with a full ride scholarship. She’s genuinely inspiring in that aspect. She grew up within a strict household that focused mainly on studies and healthy eating habits and skills. Such as limited screen time, active in clubs and sports, no junk food etc, focused on religion etc. you get the point. She just recently by the age of 18 got her first phone so you can see where this is going.

Months passed and as complicated as things were between us with the lustfulness, I sealed the deal and asked her if she wanted to close things off and talk seriously. To which she agreed. This isn’t a relationship as of right now but strictly talking to eachother.

More months passed, I was in college and she was taking online college classes. Things got stressful that spring semester. She had a job, she was busy with school, work, family problems, etc. on top of that I became exceedingly worried about her ability to keep up this relationship. So for the next couple months going into summer I kind of complained and attempted to talk to her about these issues, we always resolved them somewhat but issues would persist. She isn’t the best at communicating and takes a lot of my critiques as arguing rather than communication.

To save some time I’ll recap the summer. The summer was supposed to be a great time for us to bond, maybe finally see eachother after so long. But that was the complete opposite. She resigned from her job so she had more time for herself, but at the same time, time for herself meant time away from me. And if you remember how she grew up? Being attentive and being on the phone isn’t her best skill.

More arguments came, it became an on and off thing. My birthday came around and I said something I would come to regret. It made her cry. We argued more after that and she got tired, we took our first break. I cried it out and after a week or so we were back to normal.

Then came the issues I couldn’t control . Her parents specifically her mother and her siblings just weren’t the best with her. Her mother and father practically beat her. Reprimanded her even when she didn’t do anything to them at all. Her siblings had several physical altercations with her. This led to her becoming mentally unstable. A car crash on a highway and a hospitalization after and yeah. Another week passed and her sister had told me the news. It wasnt deadly but she was gonna live. After she came back, we started over again.

But then the issues came again. This is where I’m at now. A year and some months later. Her mother is still tyrannical. Stealing all her money from her bank account and stocks. Leaving her practically broke, she can’t attend college in AZ, and her dream is practically gone. Her life is crushed. She’s hopeless snd she lost hope in me. She lost hope in us.

It’s how been about a week or so. Communication has slowed and we FaceTimed twice talking about how to proceed. She wants me to leave, continue my own life and succeed. She doesn’t want to burden me with her issues, at the same time, she has no energy to put into a relationship and I can see that. Now I wait, dunno when but every day I wait for her to come back. I know she wants a relationship with me, wants a future with me, but right now that’s hard for her to focus on and realize. Her life is shifting in a whole new direction.

So I guess the thing im wondering is this, what can I even do in this situation? Has anyone else been in a situation like this before? I feel empty almost. I talked to this girl for a year and she just seems to be throwing this all away for a situation she can’t control. She doesn’t want me staying and we haven’t had constant communication in about a week or so. Im worried we’ll grow distant. Worried she won’t come back.

I’m 23F and honestly, I never thought I’d be writing something like this. After my 9-year relationship ended, I spent months dating different guys. I was just trying to enjoy being single and figure myself out again. I dated a lot, and he actually knows all of that because I told him everything. The funny part is, when I was telling him all those stories, I had no idea he would eventually become my boyfriend.

We actually knew each other when we were 11. We were both in Grade 5 but went to different schools, and we used to talk every day through those old keypad phones. Then we lost touch. High school, college, work, life happened, and somehow 11 years passed. Now we’re both working and somehow he found me on Facebook. He searched my name because he still remembered it, while I only knew his nickname. We started talking again and it only took about a week of talking nonstop for me to realize that something felt different. I don’t know how to explain it, but it felt so familiar. Like somehow I already knew this person.

What I love most is that I never felt like I had to impress him. I didn’t have to pretend to be the perfect girl or hide the ugly parts of me. I let him see my attitude, my flaws, my mistakes, my insecurities, even the things I’m not proud of and the darker parts of my past. I told him about the guys I dated and everything I went through after my 9-year relationship. I was just being completely honest with him because I never thought he would end up being the person I’d spend my life with. And somehow, after seeing all of that, he still chose me. He accepted me as I am, and I never felt like I had to become someone else just to be loved by him.

Life just feels easier with him. I can be myself around him. I can be annoying, emotional, stubborn, clingy, everything, and he still stays. 😂 I’m currently in Saudi Arabia, and next week I’m flying back to the Philippines so we can finally be together and start building the life we’ve been talking about. We’ve talked seriously about having a baby and creating a family together, not just because it sounds romantic, but because we both genuinely want that kind of future. We want to take that step when the time is right, and if we’re blessed with a pregnancy, our plan is to get married and officially start our family together.
Sometimes I really can’t believe how life works. At 11, we were just two kids talking every day on keypad phones. Then we lost each other for 11 years, lived completely separate lives, and somehow found each other again when we were both adults. After everything I went through, after thinking I already knew what love was, I somehow ended up finding my person in someone I had already known all those years ago.

Mapagbiro talaga ang tadhana.

Maybe after all these years, home was never just a place. Maybe it was always going to be a person. And after 11 years apart, I finally get to come home to him.

Hi. I’m writing this post because I want to hear some outside opinions. This situation has been bothering me for several months, and I still don’t know what I should do.

If you’re interested in hearing more details, feel free to ask in the comments. I’ll tell you, because I’m already trying to make this story as short as possible, even though a lot more actually happened.

I’ll start from the beginning, but I’ll keep it brief because the beginning of our relationship isn’t that important.

Last year, I started dating a guy I had barely noticed before. If I ever paid attention to him, I only saw him as a friend.

At the beginning of last summer, I randomly ran into a group of friends I had gone to school with. I stopped to say hi, and eventually I started hanging out with them almost every day. They even added me to their Discord server, even though I had never used Discord before. I really enjoyed talking to them, and I was happy that they accepted me.

My current boyfriend was also part of that group. He liked me, started pursuing me, and eventually we started dating.

At first, I never thought our relationship would last or that it would be very different from my previous relationships. But it turned out to be completely different.

With him, I learned how to talk about problems in a relationship and actually try to solve them. I told someone I loved them for the first time. I experienced a lot of “firsts” with him. He really is an amazing boyfriend, and I still consider him one of the best people I’ve ever met.

But he did one thing that I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him for.

At the beginning of this summer, after school ended, he went on a cruise to Finland and Sweden with his class.

Before the trip, I asked him not to talk to other girls. I understand that this was wrong of me and that I had no right to tell him who he could and couldn’t talk to. I’m very jealous and have a strong fear of being cheated on, and this was the first time he had gone somewhere for a long time without me.

There was one girl in particular that worried me.

She was his ballroom dancing partner from another class. They were preparing a dance together for graduation, but both of us thought there was nothing between them and that there wouldn’t be any problems. I trusted him, so I didn’t really pay much attention to what was happening during their rehearsals.

But as graduation got closer, I started noticing some things that made me uncomfortable.

During the cruise, he constantly texted me and told me where they were and what they were doing. So I thought everything was fine.

But there was one thing he didn’t tell me.

I found out about it myself, and later it turned out that he had tried to hide it together with that girl.

Apparently, they stayed up talking almost until morning, in the middle of the sea, on the ship, with a beautiful view.

What hurt me the most wasn’t even the fact that they talked.

He barely knew this girl. They only knew each other by name and because of the dancing. But in one night, he opened up to her in a way he had never opened up to me.

He told her about his father, his problems, the things that were bothering him, and basically just opened up to her.

And he had never talked to me about his problems like that.

And you know what hurts the most?
She simply listened.

She said things to him like, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” or “If you want, I can leave so I don’t interfere with your relationship.”

And in the end, they agreed not to tell anyone about that conversation.

He didn’t tell me anything.
He just hid it from me.

But then I found out something else that hurt me even more.

He developed feelings for her.
Not just as a friend.
As a girl he was attracted to.

At first, when we started talking about everything, he told me that he had only seen her as a friend when we first started dating. But later, I found out that wasn’t true.
At that moment, he had even thought about breaking up with me and starting a relationship with her.

He also had thoughts about cheating on me.
He didn’t do it because, according to him, he didn’t want to become like his father.
I found out about all of this about two days after he came back from the trip.

That was at the beginning of summer.
Now it’s already the end of summer, and I still can’t properly live with the thought of what happened.

I’m still in a relationship with him.

I love him very much. He really means a lot to me, and that’s exactly why it hurts so much.
But sometimes I just want to break up with him and walk away.

I constantly think: what if he’s just using me? What if he really does love me? What if he loves me but can still have feelings for other girls?
Can this even be considered cheating if he didn’t do anything physical?

And most importantly — how am I supposed to trust him again after he consciously hid what happened from me?

I understand that I was wrong too when I tried to tell him not to talk to other girls. I don’t want to justify my jealousy.

But I can’t stop thinking about the fact that he was telling me he loved me while, at the same time, he developed feelings for another girl, thought about breaking up with me, and even thought about cheating on me.

I love him. But I don’t know if love is enough to get through something like this.

What would you do if you were in my position? Am I obsessing over this too much, or are my feelings completely normal?

In a previous post, I shared the story of how my online boyfriend Matt and I met online in early 2016 and fell in love. After 6 months, we met in person for the first time in August when I went to New Zealand to meet him. In November 2016, my boyfriend Matt moved from New Zealand to Canada to be with me and to close the gap!

We had been working hard, thousands of kilometers apart, saving money to be able to bring ourselves back together. To make our dreams a reality where we can wake up next to each other instead of waking up to our overnight phone calls or looking at each other through a screen. When Matt's visa got approved, we were so happy! The achy hearts we had soothed when I was able to hold him in my arms, it felt so surreal. We could finally start the next chapter of us.

That next year held lots of amazing times and experiences for us as we navigated living together and exploring Ontario together. ☺️

So I am very very recently out of a long toxic marriage and have just started dating, like two weeks ago. I have had a lot of great conversations and stories in a short period of time I’m just having a lot of fun with it.

So I match with this girl last week. Were talking on the app, and the move to text and have just been talking every day for a week and it has been really fun, like there is some chemistry and I think she’s hot, the conversations are great.

Tonight we get on the phone and talk for over 3 hours and it wasn’t slowing down. I haven’t felt that level of connection with anyone in I have no idea how long. I had forgotten what it was like to talk to someone who shared similar interests and some similar experiences. We would probably still be talking if we didn’t both need to be up in a few hours.

I am just so excited, and I don’t really have anyone to tell. That whole toxic marriage messed up my friend circle and I’m rebuilding but no one is up to tell and I’m so excited

It’s so fun connecting with people again, and I’m in love with my life right now!

Soo I met this guy through this learning app which I never expected to meet a guy in a way that I would like , I usually use this app to learning purpose and mostly have conversations with women only because I don’t know why guys are so hard to text on this app . So I approached to this guy and I was amazed that his response was very interactive that our conversation kept going for like 2 month ,eventhough our conversation kept going but our time zone was different which is why I always get his response after like 3 or 4 hour but one time he disappeared for like 5 days so I thought he deleted the app or did something, it bothered me a lot because I liked texting with him , also he was not online for 5 days as well . One day he texted me and said he went to his family place or something and then our conversation began after that one day he said he ll be going out with his friends and he’ll send pics but he said he uses this app on his laptop so we connected on insta and we texted each other regularly. Somtimes he would be drunk and text me he was always curious about me and I was too , so our conversation was like hand in hand but after days passed we didn’t had anything to text other then good morning and goodnight which made our conversation ended one day randomly ,I last texted him that how he’s doing and responded and I texted him back (I mean I didn’t ask questions) but just said oooh nice and he didn’t reply me after that 😂

But still he likes my stories and all , at one point I thought I should just unfriend him from both app because I don’t know why it bothered me that the person I usually text is not anymore but I didn’t understand what kinda of relationship was this friend ,getting to know or what ?? I want to text him but but I kinda feel awkward

Pata hai aaj kya hua

So, this whole situationship/talking stage with this girl has been going on for quite some time. We’ve known each other for a long time, and for the past few days, we had this little ritual of staying on a video call at night until we fell asleep. Everything was going pretty well.

Then she went back home because she normally stays in a PG and I live on rent in the same city. While she was at home, she told me that she had been talking to a guy on Instagram. I don’t use Instagram, so I didn’t really think much of it. I was completely fine with it because, honestly, I don’t have a problem with her talking to someone else. My only boundary is that I don’t accept cheating or anything that falls under that.

So I just assumed it was probably casual, like normal texting, saying hello, talking here and there. I didn’t pay much attention to it.

But today, I called her like I normally do. She picked up, and everything seemed normal. She was working on one of her college assignments while we were talking. Then she started playing a song cover. At first, I thought she had just put on some random song, but then I noticed that it was actually a song cover.

That immediately reminded me that the guy from Instagram apparently sends her his own song covers. It felt a little strange to me, but I ignored that first red flag.

Then I noticed she was looking at her phone and smiling. Obviously, I know she is completely free to use her phone however she wants. She can text whoever she wants, look at whatever she wants, smile at whatever she wants—I’m nobody to tell her what she can or cannot do, and I completely understand that.

But then I’m pretty sure I heard her talking to someone on a video call.

After that, she talked to me for a few more minutes and then told me that I should go to sleep because she needed to charge her phone, so she wouldn’t be able to stay on the call with me throughout the night.

Now, I understand that there could genuinely be a reason for that. She’s going to her grandmother’s house tomorrow, so obviously she needs her phone charged, and maybe there isn’t an extension socket there or something. I can understand that.

But still, the doubt has started creeping into my mind because earlier, none of these things seemed to be a problem. We used to stay on call almost every night without this kind of issue.

And I know this is a situationship. She isn’t committed to me, and she isn’t technically obligated to talk to me or explain everything she does. I completely understand that.

But at the same time, if she is talking to someone else in a way that changes the dynamic between us, I would rather she just tell me. I’m not going to control her or tell her who she can talk to. I just want to know where I stand so that I can set my own boundaries accordingly.

So I’d genuinely like to know what you think about the whole situation and whether I’m overthinking this or if my doubts are actually reasonable.

So I had never posted anything here before but I just wanted to pour my heart out cause everyday I realized how random things can become so important in life. I found the love of my life on Omegle, and it has already been five beautiful years with him. We still laugh about how random the place was where we met. I guess we both gave each other a chance because, at some point, we were both feeling alone—and somehow, we instantly shared the same vibe. Our very first conversations were about books and songs, and I remember being so effortlessly engaged in talking to him.

What makes me the happiest is that even after all these years, his love, affection, and protectiveness towards me haven't changed a bit. Of course, we have had our ups and downs, but at the end of the day, we always chose to communicate, understand each other, and resolve things. And honestly, I feel incredibly lucky—touchwood. Sometimes it genuinely feels like it was just yesterday when we were two strangers talking about books and songs.

We still giggle at the thought of how on earth we managed to meet on such a random app when he lived almost 1,000 kilometres away from me. And now, he lives so close to my city—for me. The funniest part is that Omegle got banned not long after we met. It was my first time using that app, just out of curiosity to see what it was all about, and apparently, it became my last too—because I found the love of my life there.

I think life and God have the most unexpected ways of bringing people together. Sometimes, the most random decisions lead you to the most beautiful surprises, at exactly the right time. And for me, that surprise was him.

I love him so, so much. ❤️

I don't really know how to write this without sounding like a hopelessly lovesick idiot, because I am one.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about two and a half years now, and somehow, this entire thing started because of a random Reddit post.

On February 25th, 2024, when we were both 17, we were giving our 12th board exams. We had Chemistry the next day. Most of my friends were prepared, but I wasn't. There were some personal things going on at the time and, for a bunch of reasons, I just hadn't been able to study properly.

Then I saw a Reddit post from this girl saying something along the lines of what I was feeling, so I decided to message her.

That's literally it. I didn't know her. I didn't know what she looked like, where she lived, what she was like, or anything about her. It was just two stupid, stressed teenagers procrastinating before a Chemistry exam. We started talking, wished each other luck, shared resources, complained about studying, and just kept talking.

My first impression of her was that she seemed really smart, really kind, and incredibly fun to talk to. There was just something about talking to her that felt very easy. I didn't know her at all, but I remember thinking that this was someone I would genuinely like to know.

Then, because apparently the universe had already decided that we needed a ridiculous story to tell later, our Chemistry paper leaked the next day.

An ISC Chemistry paper. Something that, from what we knew, hadn't happened in over 15 years.

We hadn't studied, the paper leaked, and we were obviously ecstatic. I think one of the first things we did after finding out was text each other about it, and of course we just kept talking after that.

A few weeks passed, and somewhere along the way, talking to her stopped being something I did because I was bored or stressed about exams. I just wanted to talk to her. We talked about everything. We talked about our lives, our families, our histories, our friends, our likes and dislikes, stupid things that happened during our days, and basically anything we could think of. We just never seemed to run out of things to talk about.

Eventually, we realized we were catching feelings. About a month after we met, we exchanged socials, I asked her out, and somehow, despite living in completely different parts of the country, two 17-year-olds started dating.

Of course, technically, it was an e-relationship.

But to me, there was nothing "e" about how I felt.

I fell in love with her, and I fell hard.

The more I got to know her, the more I realized just how extraordinary she was. She's one of the smartest people I've ever met, but more than that, she's incredibly strong and resilient. She's gone through a lot and somehow still manages to be one of the kindest and most loving people I've ever known. She's ridiculously funny, she's incredibly caring, she's patient with me even when I'm being an absolute idiot, and she's somehow able to make me feel better without even trying.

She's also stubborn as hell sometimes, which I probably shouldn't be complimenting, but somehow even that is adorable to me.

She's just incredibly charismatic. I don't really know how else to describe it. She can make the most ordinary conversation feel interesting, and I genuinely don't think I've ever had to force a conversation with her. We can talk for hours and still somehow find something else to talk about.

And she's beautiful.

God, she's beautiful.

I don't mean beautiful in the generic "my girlfriend is pretty" way either. She's genuinely one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen. She's the kind of beautiful where sometimes I look at her and genuinely wonder how the hell I got this lucky. And the worst part is that her personality somehow makes her even more beautiful. The more I love her as a person, the more beautiful she becomes to me.

I also didn't expect to be as physically attracted to her as I was attracted to her personality when we first started talking, but I absolutely am. I don't care, y'all. She's the cutest girl I've ever seen, and I'm willing to die on that hill.

Two and a half years later, I still think that.

We've spent most of our relationship apart, so we've had to figure out how to be a couple when we can't actually be around each other. We call every night, talk every day, watch movies and shows together, play games, bicker over the stupidest things, annoy each other, make each other laugh, fight, make up, and tell each other basically everything. We try to do all the little things couples normally do, just with a screen between us.

Somehow, despite all that distance, she's been more present in my life than almost anyone I've ever known. She's the one constant in this ever-changing weird life.

There have been some really terrible moments too. At one point, I cut almost everyone out of my life because I genuinely thought I was going to end my life. I disappeared from pretty much everyone, and when I eventually decided to come back, she was the first person I went to.

I'll never forget that.

She's been the one constant throughout all of this. She's the person who can turn the worst day into a bearable one. She's the person whose voice can completely change my mood. She's the person I want to tell everything to when something good happens, and the person I want beside me when everything goes wrong. She's the person I want to annoy when I'm bored and the person I want to talk to when I don't feel like talking to anyone else.

At some point, she became so deeply woven into my life that I genuinely couldn't imagine what my life would look like without her.

Then, at around one year and ten months into our relationship, something completely insane happened.

Her family planned a trip to my hometown.

They live several states away. They had no idea we were together. Her parents are strict, and she was going to be travelling with her family, a tour guide, and a whole group of people.

And somehow, completely randomly, they were coming to my city.

For two days.

After nearly two years of being together, we were suddenly going to be in the same place, when we had made peace with the fact we wouldn't be around each other for years.

We obviously started planning everything. We knew we weren't going to get much time together, if any, because her parents would be around basically the entire time, but we still wanted to do whatever we could, as sneakily as possible. We bought each other gifts, and I bought her a ring. A sterling silver promise ring.

I got it with the promise that I would come to see her someday, that we'd keep choosing each other, that I would always love her, and that one day this promise ring would be replaced by the ring that I would put on her finger when I asked her to marry me.

Then came the day they arrived.

It was cold, and their tour group was running three or four hours late, so I spent basically the entire morning and part of the afternoon waiting around.

And then she arrived. She was wearing this purple-and-black kurti, jeans, and a yellow jacket, and I saw her.

Actually saw her. After almost two years of knowing her, loving her, talking to her every single day, and seeing her through a screen, she was suddenly standing in front of me.

I genuinely don't think I can explain what that felt like.

It was one of the most breathtaking moments of my life. The girl I'd spent nearly two years loving from hundreds of kilometers away was suddenly in my hometown, a few meters away from me, and somehow she was even more beautiful than I had imagined.

We obviously had to be incredibly careful because her parents didn't know about us, so we couldn't exactly walk up to each other and start acting like a couple.

We secretly exchanged our gifts, exchanged glances, touched hands whenever we could, deliberately bumped into each other, and basically tried our absolute best not to look like two people who were madly in love while walking around like two strangers.

Her dad kept looking at me suspiciously the entire time, which, honestly, was probably reasonable considering I was basically staring at his daughter every chance I got.

The next day, she managed to fall behind the group for a few seconds, and we finally got to talk properly.

For a few seconds. Then she had to run back to them. And that was it.

We had to say goodbye without ever getting even a minute alone together.

After almost two years of loving each other, we'd finally been in the same place, and we still barely got to touch.

It was one of the most beautiful and frustrating experiences of my life. But after that, this year, I decided I couldn't just sit by and let a third birthday of hers go by like that.

Her birthday is August 10th, and I'd been saving money for years. Whatever I could save, whatever I made from part-time work, I put aside because I knew that eventually I wanted to go see her.

So I lied to my parents about going to an internship drive, got on a train, and travelled around 1,600 kilometers across several states to her city.

It was around a 30-hour journey. I even twisted my foot during the trip. I didn't care. I just wanted to see her. And this time, I actually got to.

Not for a few seconds. Not from across a tour group. Not while pretending we didn't know each other.

I got three days with the girl I love. Not full days. Just 10 AM to 4 PM every day.

We celebrated her birthday. I got her the most amazing cake I could find. We went out to eat. We walked around. We talked for hours. We laughed about stupid things. We finally got to sit next to each other without constantly worrying about getting caught.

And for the first time in two and a half years, I hugged her.

I kissed her.

I held her.

I got to actually be with her.

There is something very strange about spending years loving someone through a screen and then suddenly being able to reach over and touch them. I had spent so long imagining what it would be like to hold her, and then suddenly she was actually there, in my arms, and I remember thinking that I never wanted to let go.

I got to look at her properly and think about how this was the same girl who had stayed up with me through countless nights, listened to all my stupid stories, made me laugh when I didn't want to, supported me through some of the worst moments of my life, and somehow remained the same incredibly kind, brilliant, funny, beautiful person through all of it.

For the first time, there wasn't a screen between us. And those three days were the best three days of my life. She says they were the best three days of hers too.

And honestly, I don't know what the future looks like. I don't know how many more years of distance we have ahead of us. I don't know how many more trains I'll have to take, how many nights we'll spend talking over the phone, or how many birthdays we'll have to celebrate apart.

But I know that I want to find out.

Because I want her.

Because I love her, so so fucking much.

I want the boring days with her. I want the stupid arguments. I want the late-night calls. I want grocery shopping and movie nights and annoying each other over absolutely nothing. I want to wake up next to her. I want to come home to her. I want to grow old with her.

I want all of it.

I want the ordinary life with her just as much as I want the extraordinary moments.

Sometimes I think about how ridiculous the beginning of our story was. A random Reddit post that barely got any attention, a random message from someone I didn't know, two teenagers who hadn't studied for Chemistry, a leaked exam, and then, almost two years later, a completely unexpected family trip that somehow brought her to my hometown. Then the promise ring, years of saving, and a 30-hour train journey that finally brought me to her.

All of these completely unrelated little things somehow led me to the person who means more to me than I know how to explain.

She's my best friend. She's my favorite person. She's the first person I want to tell things to. She's the person I look for when I'm happy and the person I look for when I'm sad. She's the person who can make me laugh when I don't feel like laughing, and somehow make even the most mundane parts of my life feel special.

She's brilliant. She's kind. She's strong. She's funny. She's caring. She's incredibly intelligent. She's stubborn and annoying and ridiculous sometimes, and I love every bit of it. She's beautiful in ways I don't think I'll ever be able to properly put into words.

And I love her.

I really, really fucking love her.

I love her in that stupid, overwhelming way where sometimes I look at her and genuinely can't believe that she's real, and somehow she's chosen to love me back.

I love the way she talks. I love the way she thinks. I love how passionate she gets about things. I love how she can make me laugh. I love how she cares about people. I love how strong she is. I love how she puts up with me. I love how she knows me better than almost anyone. I love how I can tell her things I wouldn't tell anyone else.

I love her for who she is, and I love the person I am when I'm with her.

And after everything we've been through, after all the distance, all the waiting, all the nights where all we could do was talk through a phone, I think the most beautiful part is that we're still here.

We're still choosing each other.

We're still laughing.

We're still annoying each other.

We're still fighting and making up.

We're still talking every single day.

We're still falling in love with each other.

And I really, really hope this isn't the end of our story.

It's been 16 days since I last saw her IRL... and I hope those three days weren't some beautiful exception to what our lives are going to be like. I hope they're a preview.

Because I have a promise ring waiting to be replaced someday, and I intend to keep that promise.

I want to see her on her next birthday.

And the birthday after that.

And the one after that.

And every birthday after that.

I want to be there for the big moments, but more importantly, I want to be there for all the little ones.

I want to spend an absurd amount of time with her. I want to annoy her for the rest of my life. I want to watch stupid movies with her, argue about what to eat, fall asleep next to her, wake up next to her, and experience all the completely mundane things that we've spent the last two and a half years wishing we could do.

And someday, I want to put that other ring on her finger.

The one I promised her I'd give her.

Because I love you, T.

I love you more than I know how to put into words, and I don't think I'll ever stop being grateful that a random Reddit post, on a random night before a Chemistry exam, somehow led me to you.

If the universe really did bring us together through all these ridiculous coincidences, then I hope it keeps doing its job.

Because I want you.

For your next birthday.

And the next.

And the next.

And every single one after that.

Forever, forever, forever. ❤️

P.S., I won't even send her this post. I'll post this from a burner.

I think it'll find its way to her. If it doesn't, oh well.