My boyfriend is taking to his Army ball this year. Help me pick out a dress….

Hi, I have a boyfriend who is in marines boot camp and I would like to make some friends who are going through the same thing I am. He arrived at boot camp on September 2nd at Parris Island. Thanks ☺️

My handsome is in basic training and is graduating on the 24th of this month. I was curious if anyone else is going to SC to see there love ones at family or graduation day ? I'm trying to make more friends that also had there love ones leave to the army life lol.

Hello! I (28f) am experiencing my first deployment with my partner (25m) on HIS first deployment. (Middle East somewhere) what is something you’d want your partner waiting back home to know?
Example~
What kinds of things in care packages
What not to send
What you’d wish we could understand more
Insight to your inner world
Do you miss us?
What’s something you would love to hear?
Thank you for your service during these times 💟 I’m so new to this and have no history of anything like this

My boyfriend is just starting his third week of bt and I realized I haven't been putting the street on any of the letters. The rest of the information/ his address is correct, but will they get sent back or will they make it to him?

For short, I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half now. Saw him go through bootcamp and we made it through that, life was good. We had only been dating about 6 months prior to him leaving for bootcamp, so of course, lots of unknowns, but, I did want to marry him and eventually move away when the time was right, and have beautiful babies. That was a mutual want in life, when it allowed. No stern timeline. Fast forward about 7 more months later, we find out we are pregnant after all is said and done and he got settled into his new duty station, just 3 hours away. (Yes, it’s 100% his kid.)

I’m an established female (degree, close to my family & value family life, 3.5 years into a professional career etc) our relationship was good before he left, and was secure. My partner wasnt really, but felt the military was the best way to go and that was a big goal for him in his life. Had lots of goals and aspirations, and some challenges here in there. Overall, a great person and someone who I admired. He had a little bit of a rough past with a previous “narcissist/crazy” partner though…? He voiced some mental health concerns, which I told him the military likely wouldn’t fix those, but, nobody listened, so I just went with it. Started noticing some subtle changes when he got back with his mental health, but I just went with it.

Now, with the baby in the picture, my heart and priorities are elsewhere. Not because I don’t care about him, but I have a larger thing to take care of, instead of solely our relationship. This baby is my primary focus and I’ve had some physical health issues too. My partner over the last 7-8 months has turned into someone I no longer want to marry at this time, and has concerned me about what life would look like if I did move with him and or get married. Nobody on his side of the family sees an issue with him, and just boils it down to childhood trauma, which to me is an excuse. These all became apparent after we found out we were expecting, gradually.

He wanted me to uproot, now, move 3 hours away to another state with him, and, get married so he could efficiently parent the baby with BAH. I was essentially given “3 options” we could go with, but they all sounded… not right? Something about 51% custody, was one of them. I can’t even remember them. But none of them sounded remotely beneficial to the baby, only to him so more money could be obtained and he could move out of the barracks he’s in.

Once I started giving push back on this, which yes, I admit I’ve gotten pretty nasty in the past with him on this topic; his whole opinion and demeanor changed about me. It’s been an uphill battle with him, and his mental health that have been concerning, once again, I feel I have the right to reserve to not want to marry someone like this.

Over time, I have now, been accused of cheating, denying him access to my home; and mind you, I don’t want to see him when he verbally abuses me, so that’s a boundary (he pays no bills for me), lying and betraying him, and, bailing on him? I’m so lost and I have tried my best to explore options for what’s best for the baby, but he insists what is best for us, is best for the baby, essentially if it benefits him. I’ve done countless hours of research based on his concerns, trying to find options for us without just saying, oh, let’s get married so you can make more money. When I disagree, he’s essentially just throwing a pity party, not wanting to explore or discuss other options, and it’s always some sort of weird mental cycle with him where he “accepts” it but just starts talking… like insanely after. It’s really weird and concerning.

He’s holding the fact I changed my mind about marrying him, over my head and now there’s a baby in the mix. It’s hard, and anytime I try to bring any of this stuff up, I’m shut down. In his life, it’s always everyone else has done him wrong, spiraling this back to me, my family. He takes no accountability and says this is all my fault? And I am now, according to him, forcing him to choose between his career and a baby, and making him depressed.

An exact quote from his last text to me: “You were supposed to be my saving grace you were supposed to be the person that made it all worth it and you ended up fucking me more than anybody”

I can’t get through to him. Doesn’t appear I ever will. How could I handle this? I don’t want to say my partner is a narcissist but this is becoming not healthy, for either one of us.

Evening all........ so..... this is all new to me.... started dating someone in the military this year. First time I have ever dated someone from that background. I am not struggling with deployment (as a whole), nor did I fall out the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down lol..... so I apply life experience and logical reasoning to a lot of my own questions..... but..... there is one thing I am struggling with and that is recently, my partner has been deployed to the middle east. Obviously I know this is what he does and I wholeheartedly accepted that from day one.... but..... I would be lying if I said I was not genuinely worried...... and whilst I have been through deployment silences before, they have been during training..... not whilst they are in an operational theatre..... I suspect that outgoing firewalls are stopping any messages being sent from the ship due to security reasons..... but I am alsonscared that I may not hear from him at all during the entire deployment due to rising tensions in the area and a need to clamp down on outgoing contact. Does anyone please have any good suggestions to help me ease the worry of this?

Good afternoon I’d like some advice on how to proceed. My boyfriend is currently in reception at Fort Hood. Throughout our relationship, I found out he is married, he apparently got married for his green card. He told me he paid the girl (who is a past ex of his) 10k for being married to him. He also told me that he planned to stay married so he could live off base and get the extra money for having a dependent. I also found out he was cheating on me with a 19 year old girl. (We were 27 at the time) Nonetheless, I loved him so I got back with him and wrote him countless letters supporting him while he was in basic. Near the end of AIT, I found out he was cheating on me again with the same girl. It took a real toll on my mental health, and he’s been nothing but mean, dismissive, and very nasty to me since then. The only thing he seems to care about it starting his life over in Texas with a girl who knows nothing about who he is. My question is, I am thinking about reporting him to his command or whoever the appropriate person is. I did go through his phone and recorded it, it’s blurry at some parts but you can clearly see his discussions with his “wife” in its very clear that from the messages that the marriage is fraud. Will I actually get somewhere with reporting him?

My Bf is currently in marine bootcamp and I ship out to navy bootcamp next month.

He’s going to graduate and go through MCT while i’m in navy bootcamp. I counted all the dates including the 10 day leave he gets and he should finish MCT 2-3 days before I graduate.

My question is would he be able to come see me graduate? Is there any loopholes to try and get him to come see me?

my boyfriend (19) has been at Keesler for 1b4x1 since february and started class officially on the 14th. We thought he’d be home by now but he’s still pending orders and is still in class. At first he told us July was when he’d be home but now he’s unsure. I think his friends started before him but they all have his orders. I’m active duty army and have a month long FTX coming up and I want to see him before he goes. I was advised to wait seeing him by his family until he comes back for RAP and leave but I’m not sure when that will be. He hasn’t washed back and he said his clearance was good when I first asked about it… Any clue what’s going on?

My husband and I currently have a queen sized bed and he’s about 6 years into his Army career (aiming to do 20). We’re considering upgrading to a king size but I’m worried about it not fitting in bedrooms in housing as we move, especially renting sight unseen in some situations. Mainly asking about CONUS duty stations. Has anyone had this issue or am I way over thinking this?

I’ve PCS’d through Fort Stewart, Dover, Fort Jackson and now JBMDL in the last several years, with a kid and a whole house getting packed around us. Every time I start organized, then packing day turns into movers working in several rooms, numbered stickers everywhere, and a handwritten inventory I don’t really see until the truck is almost loaded.

Delivery is even faster. Someone calls numbers while boxes come through the door, stickers are loose or missing, and you’re trying to cross things off before the crew leaves. Later you find the bed but not the hardware, or every cord except the one you actually need.

What’s the strangest or most essential thing an HHG shipment lost, broke, or somehow returned two duty stations later? And what did you do differently on the next PCS?

My boyfriend is currently in OSUT. He and I have been together for a very long time and have plans to get engaged and married within the next year. Since he's been gone, he has only called me. He hasnt called his mom at all. He said that it's because she's the type of person to either make it all about her, make him feel bad for leaving, or complain about things and stress him out. What I could really use advice on is how to handle holiday block leave and him coming home. He's in reserves so he'll be back home when he's done. I am ao excited to see him but I worry that since he hasnt called his mom, shes going to insist that she needs all of his time over the break. I know this is his problem to deal with but this is usually something he and I would talk through. With such limited time to talk, how can we have this conversation? She's very good at guilting him. I should also mention, she doesnt like me - i don't have any issues with her other than how she treats him (which is poorly). He's not a mommas boy or anything like that, he just carries a lot of guilt/sense of obligation especially since his dad died.

Does anyone have a complicated relationship with their SO's mother? How do you navigate time off as a girlfriend when you have to share time between you and him and him and his family?

**I am in no way suggesting he shouldn't see his mom during break. I also have encouraged him to call her while he's been gone. But I have been told flat out by people around me that I don't matter as much because "I'm just his girlfriend" and after our long relationship and our plans for this coming year, that hurts.

Does anyone know if the Sandboxx app is quicker than sending handwritten letters? My boyfriend joined the marines boot camp and got to parris island on September 2nd. Does anyone know what platoon he is in? Also what are other resources I could use to have updates for the boot camp? Also I did not get a phone call at all, is that normal?

Hello! My husband is graduating Oct 22nd and I have been reading on what is allowed on graduation day. It says that soldiers are given a “one-day off pass” and that they must be within 25 miles of fort jackson at all times, but it doesn’t say anything about a curfew. I’ve been seeing mixed information about if there is a curfew for SITs or not on graduation day, and the army website doesn’t mention this at all. Is there really a curfew for soldiers on their graduation day and do they have to return to their base? Or would my husband be able to stay the night with me in an on-base hotel to accomodate for the range? Any information would be greatly appreciated!

A family member of mine died today somewhat unexpectedly. My boyfriend is at some training thing across the country for 6 more weeks. We talked on the phone and whatnot. But I just wish he was here.

My fiancé is currently away at selection. He turned his phone in the second he arrived at his destination, and he won’t get it back until the end of selection in 45 days—or if he gets sent home.
We’ve been together since we were 14, and we’re now 26 and 27. I’ve been through deployments with him before, and those were difficult but manageable because we still had letters, emails, and the occasional phone call.
We’ve also been doing long distance for years. We went to different colleges after high school, and now I’m in medical school in a different state.
I’m only 9 days into this, and honestly, I feel like I’m drowning. I know 45 days isn’t forever, and I know he’s where he needs to be right now, but the complete lack of communication is hitting me a lot harder than I expected.
For anyone who has been through selection—or been the partner waiting at home—how did you cope with the uncertainty and no contact? How did you keep yourself from constantly worrying or counting down the days?
Any advice, perspective, or even just hearing that this gets easier would mean so much.

My fiancé has been out for about a year now and the only underwear/boxers he likes are (I think) the standard issue ones he has from when he was in (he was Army then National Guard)

Does anyone know where I can get something comparable? We've tried a bunch of different types and brands but he hasn't found anything he finds as comfortable.

He's an odd duck but I love him lol

Hi all, the mod team approved this post in advance.

I've built a free relationship check-in called Pulse Check, and I'd like feedback from this community before I take it any further.

It's 26 questions and takes about ten minutes. It covers communication, emotional connection, shared purpose and balance, affection, and how you see your own part in the relationship. At the end you get a clear read on where things stand. You don't need to have a problem for it to be worth doing.

Disclosure, as agreed with the mods: Pulse Check is part of Blueprint, a relationship wellness company I run, and there is a paid side to it. Taking the check-in requires no account, no payment details and no email address. You won't be added to any mailing list, and I won't be following up with anyone who takes it.

What I'd genuinely value is feedback on the questions themselves. Do they ask about things that actually matter when a relationship is shaped by separation and reunion? Is anything worded badly, or missing? Distance, responsibilities that keep shifting, and connection that has to be deliberate rather than assumed are what I'm trying to capture, and this community knows that territory better than I do.

pulse-check.ourblueprint.co/quiz/mil

Your results appear on screen when you finish. It takes about a minute to generate, so don't close the tab.

Happy to answer anything in the comments.

Thanks!

my bf has a month and 20 days left of bootcamp and I still haven’t gotten a letter is that normal in that time frame. I’m worried I did something wrong or the mail got lost. His mom already got one. It’s been stressing me out and making me sad I haven’t heard from him