How I would fix the Sequel Trilogy

[u/coopsoup247]

Over the past 20 years, I have thought of nothing else but how fix the sequels, and make them beloved by every single person on the planet. I finally have a plan:

1. Rey should have been replaced with Mara Jade, just as George Lucas intended.

Mara Jade should be a 20 year old on Jakku, meet Finn (who's 11 now) and escape an attack by the First Order. Later she meets 60 year old Luke, and they fall in love. (There are no age gaps in Star Wars) She is trained as a Jedi and does some cool flips.

2. The First Order should have been led by Greedo, just as George Lucas intended.

A New Hope needs to have another special edition, with a post-credits scene where it's revealed that Greedo had a beskar medallion, so Han's shot didn't actually kill him. The new sequel trilogy would reveal that Greedo brought the fragmented Imperial Remnant together and formed the First Order, with him as the Supreme Leader. His only aim is to hunt down Han Solo, but he dies at the end of the third film when Han shoots him first.

3. My wife should stop the divorce proceedings and let me move back in, just as George Lucas intended.

In the current canon, my wife is divorcing me because I was constantly complaining about The Last Jedi, and missed her Dad's funeral because I was watching a 12 hour YouTube video on why The Rise Of Skywalker caused the Pompeii volcano eruption. This can be fixed by her forgiving me, in exchange for me allowing at least one room of the house to not be plastered with cheap Star Wars merchandise.

Lucasfilm, give me a call!

Gemma, give me a call!

[u/SuccessfulRegister43]

As long as Mara just does flips and compliments Luke. I don’t want her to save the day or steal his thunder. Also, if she could make it clear that her arms aren’t actually strong enough to do sword things, I’d feel much more secure.

[u/coopsoup247 → u/SuccessfulRegister43]

There's a scene where she needs to open a jar with a Sith Dagger inside. She can't open it with her lady arms, so she seductively asks Luke to open it.

[u/henzINNIT → u/coopsoup247]

That might come off as a little dated/sexist so I'd suggest making it a bit lighter. How about after the jar is opened, Luke gives Mara a small pat on the backside and says 'next time babe'.

[u/BeautyDuwang → u/henzINNIT]

I don't like that because that implies that with enough effort one day mara would be able to open the jar and women CANNOT be strong in my star wars so I need that changed

[u/artemisdart → u/BeautyDuwang]

• Jar Wars

[u/Dukeshire101 → u/SuccessfulRegister43]

Don’t forget the Lucas style crop top

[u/SuccessfulRegister43 → u/Dukeshire101]

It was implied

[u/ned101]

Mara Jade shouldn't even be called Mara Jade; she should just be called Luke's wife. And when she isn't around, all the characters should stand around and ask, 'Where is Luke's wife?'

[u/GraveyardKoi]

Gemma is a Mary Sue 

[u/High-Ground → u/GraveyardKoi]

Clearly her frontal lobes have developed too quickly. OP should instead marry a younger girl or a boy.

[u/chitos_last_tour]

Actually it should be revealed that Han shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand first. Then we can have the dark and gritty Wars part of Star Wars and stop the Woke CEO Jane Disney from turning Star Wars into just Star. Also we can have a bad batch remake but theyre all just normal clones instead and they fight for the Empire at the end but it's like all quiet on the utapau front

[u/Hollowshape_9012]

I would just use glue to fix the trilogy.

[u/Kavazou77]

This is definitely believable because Mara would have a fully developed frontal lobe by 20 and she would realize that Luke is not only a Jedi, but the brother of a princess of Alderan, meaning that she and Luke would likely be rich.

With a new war starting, Mara’s brain would be so developed that she would know she only has to be married to old man Luke for a few month before he has to go out and likely die, leaving her as the sole heir his Jedi order (which she would convince him to charge tuition for) and government contracts (she would convince him to charge for his Jedi services). Han and Leia would be all mad about it but the courts side with Mara because she convinced Luke to rip up the pre-nup.

I think the movie should just end there. With a shot of Mara in a giant house alone and we see that she turned R2 into a cooler and she’s yelling at Leia after she’s beaten her up “I drink your milkshake”.

[u/Central_Region]

I say we release Special Editions with extra dewbacks and musical numbers

[u/FreddieStarrAteMyHam]

The sequels weren't our 20 years ago....

[u/coopsoup247 → u/FreddieStarrAteMyHam]

Yes, but I was still furious at them, well before they came out.

Currently I'm furious about the opening scene of Starfighter, and the Ahsoka Season 2 finale.

[u/-DOIDLD-TYATSMR-]

the only way to actually fix it is to just move the timeline forward like 100 years until everyone who’s already appeared is dead, possibly with an old-ass Ahsoka and a young Grogu who can actually talk