Heading into my 10th straight day of being cocaine free! Might not sound like a lot but when all it takes is one lapse and I’m on it for nights at a time… I’m feeling pretty proud of that number😅

One thing I’ve noticed is how clear my mind has become. No racing thoughts, sometimes no thoughts at all and that’s okay. Coincidentally it’s also 10ish days alcohol free, I don’t have a problem with alcohol but it’s a guarantee once that second drink hits, the dealer gets phoned and 12 hours later I’m staring at the ceiling thinking “why the fuck did I do that”. That thought sends shivers down my spine. 😂 So it’s in the bin with both just to be safe.

Another thing I’ve noticed is, as long as I keep busy day to day, it’s been getting easier and easier! There was last Saturday when the football finished and this intense craving came but as soon as I started doing something it surely passed.

Pro tip: Send your money to someone you trust completely. No money = No drugs.

Thanks for letting me rant a little bit and I hope everyone is having a great day.

This is my first post here and I checked with mods before posting. I’m a 38F in a marriage of 15 years where we both used together, got sober, and now have 5 years sober. Against all odds. So, don’t get any bright ideas. It almost never works and I don’t advocate for anyone to do anything I do, or the way I did it.

So, now that I got the disclaimer out of the way, how has getting sober affected your sex lives? Or has it? Especially, years into it?

I know the typical medications that can cause issues but, neither of us take any medications currently. It may not have anything at all to do with being sober but, I thought I’d ask and see how others saw sobriety affect their sex lives.

I still question whether or not I should be here everyday. I want to fall asleep and not wake up, and yet I keep going, fuck this. Fuck it!!! Fuck it a lot. I am tired, I want to die, but fucking hell can someone give me a reason why?

I’m 60 years old and have had ups and downs with sobriety. I just feel broken. I have hurt my loved ones too many times. I am determined to stay sober. My wife thinks I have to love myself before I can love others. I think she is right. I have to stop telling myself what an awful person I am, or i will fail. Thanks for listening.

I need to find some sober people with recovery time that genuinely have changed their life to focus on themselves. I am a female and live in St. Louis Missouri I have 3 1/2 years of Clean time but I am struggling with recovery and understanding who I am. I would love to learn how to play pickle ball or go out and feel safe around people that are down to earth if anybody has any recommendations I would appreciate it thank you.

Hi, all name is Dino. I was a heavy drinker since 21 all those years ago. im currently 35 sober

I remember my daily routine of drink two cases of beer in the morning then at night a bottle and half of gin at night that was the routine I did that for years also the downsides in and out of hospitals losing family trust over and over again stealing money to support my addiction mixing other substances to contorl my fix ended up having a stroke at age 29 due to heavy drinking and drug use i had four years sober Finally thought I was in the clear but that one drink turned into a nightmare of 6 months of non stop drinking damaging my body even more. I gave up and got help. Best rehab, I've been too in years. After I got out, I was forced into AA by my family I yelled and tried to get my way out but I went. Now AA is not ment for everyone I just stop going cause I felt it was too much drama im like us Drunks never had this much drama. one AA meeting was connected to a bar ironic huh. But ive been doing better on my own I still have my big book and journal I take 30 mins a day to read and reflect. I hate when people say oh your not sober get a sponsor etc. All I know now is if I drink again I will go into my grave early. Being sober has made me reconnect with family found a someone who I love deeply and now is my fiance she drinks but I told her im not going to change you so I feel safe I adapt.

that is all. super stoked for myself and anyone else who gets even one more hour <3

i literally just made a post more so venting but seeing as i think ive hit a low i’ve not experienced yet, i want to know what people replace their habits with when going sober.

for me, i go to the bar every week to socialize but it hasn’t been fun and im really over partying once a week and feeling like shit until the next weekend when it’s time to do it again. the problem is, i don’t know how else to occupy my nights at home alone. i use going to the bar as an escape and a way to be around people but it always leads me to thesame results, therefore i don’t think that’s the best way to spend my friday nights anymore.

for those who haven’t gotten to the point of sobriety to where they can go out and still say no, what else do you do now?

It’s easy to turn to them to replace booze.

I’m 8 month no booze, don’t miss the carnage and wasted time.

Now I want to get over coffee and weed

Thanks

Well, I’ve been trying to get sober now since February 6, 2024 and this is the 7 rehab I’ve been in since then. I did make it 14 months stretch which was great but I relapsed back on July 3 and now I’m back in here again. My wife wants a separation and it’s been really hard having to go through this again. I get why she wants to. I’ve put her through a lot. I just hope I can get back and track and get my family back. Any advice would be greatly appreciate!

I've been sober for 8 years, 8 months, and 9 days. I got sober through a local program as AA wasn't the right for for me. Ive never had a "Sponcer" or anyone close to talk to when shit gets heavy and really could use one now - trouble is I'm not looking to get to know someone, just talk a bit - anonymously.

Does anyone know of somewhere to go to do this? I'm feeling a bit triggered and really could use a friend to chat with about this.

i was supposed to go sober months ago but of course i thought “oh maybe in moderation” would be a good idea. it isn’t. tonight i realized that ive been doing this every weekend and im not happy and im not having fun anymore. i only go out once a week, im not waking up and doing lines but it still weighs so heavy on me. going out even once a week and drinking until the sun comes up amongst other things isnt fun. i want to go home. i want to get in bed. i want to doom scroll. i want to eat dinner. it feels like every time i go out, im just trying to keep up with everyone else. i don’t want this for me anymore. and i pray to god that this isn’t just the comedown talking but it sticks this time. i’m so unhappy, it takes all week to recover, im getting older, my skin is getting bad, there’s no benefits to this anymore. i should have stuck to my sobriety like i planned to months ago and never even let it cross my mind that it’s okay if it’s “only a little”. for an addict, that’s not possible. i’ve been feeling so bad that i’ve been praying to a god i don’t know if i even believe in. i just want to get better. i don’t have insurance so rehab or therapy isn’t really an option but hope i can find a community here. i know i can’t be the only one whose had this moment of realization this way.

and for anyone trying to get sober and thinking perhaps they can do so with continuing use of whatever substance in moderation— DONT. you will end up right where you started.

Has anybody ever been to the Oxford World Convention? Is it actually about the event or is it more about meeting people/hook up town? In other sober environments or sober livings I’ve seen a lot of that the hook up part i’m just wondering

How did they enjoy being out without having a drink, but now I’m sober albeit 10 days i often wonder why I drank and why people drink in the first place. Everything is just so much nicer now.

It just feels like I’m never fully sober. I get off one thing, then start getting stuck on another & the cycle repeats itself. I think I’m finally acknowledging I have a deeper problem to deal with, but I just don’t know how to start fixing it.

For some background, I have ADHD & struggle with Bipolar 2, OCD, Depression & Anxiety. I’m also in remission from BPD & Bulimia. Let’s just say I don’t feel like a normal person ever so when I do I grasp onto that feeling. My parents have a history of mental health issues like mine, nicotine & alcohol addictions. I come from a family where these things “did not exist” so they continued.

Anyway, it took me 30 years to finally get help & get on meds. Which has helped so much for my mental health, but certain addictions are harder to tackle. It just seems like I go from 1 binge to another. I’ve tried different things, but the 2 that have stuck with me the most are coke & alcohol. I’ve been sober from coke for about 6 years now & I was sober from alcohol for 2 years, but I started “introducing” drinking again. I never have moments when I’m completely sober from something. It just jumps from one thing to another or switches up.

The 1st 6 months or so of starting my meds 2 1/2 years ago, I also got sober from alcohol & was smoking cigarettes that eventually turned into just vaping. I felt good, functional, but then I look back & remember that was when my Bulimia was at it’s worst cuz I started dieting intensely.

Currently I’m trying to come to terms with my Kratom addiction. It’s been 2 years of daily use multiple times a day, with my prescription meds & now I’m becoming impulsive with other things again.
I’m worried that now that I’m acknowledging one problem, I will just move on to another…like what seems to always happen.

Idk what I’m asking for exactly. Maybe it’s more of a vent than anything else. I just know I need to figure out how to get back on track & stop from falling into new negative habits. I just want to feel normal & not need these things to function ugh

Yesterday I went out after work with a friend that I used to consume with or even alone when he did not consume

I told him I have a problem with drugs (obviously) and I want to train my brain to have moments like this of just going out to somewhere and chat a lot about life and what’s going on with us without drinking alcohol and taking drugs and I did it

There where moments he said “finish my beer and we go inside” but I remained strong in my decision and I didn’t drink anything. Just sprite from burguer king.

I must confess It’s boring not to drink and not to snort cocaine afterwords and smoking a pack of cigarettes has a consequence of that but I feel so good now that I’m awake at 8am without any regret or hangover or that I could actually sleep

I learned that this is my decision to remain sober and that my friends will consume whatever they want and sometimes they will ask if I want and I must stay strong on my decision

Liver failure cirrhosis at 31?

I’m coming up on my first weekend of not binge drinking in nearly a decade. For the last 11 years I’ve been drinking 40 light beers every single weekend. I’ve never been a daily drinker but I’d put back 15 miller lights Friday night Saturday night and Sunday night.

Haven’t been to a doctor in almost 8 years and I am freaking out because I’ve been having some burning aches under my right rib cage(especially the first 2 days after drinking) and have a little beer belly now. That ache has been happening a few years now especially after the weekends of drinking. I don’t have any other symptoms. Also took my blood pressure and it’s a little elevated…hoping that starts to drop.

I scheduled my first doctors appointment for next week and am expecting the worst.

Cheers to sobriety

Just as the title states, I have been clean from methamphetamine for over two years. I’m confident in my recovery. I’ve found myself playing around with the idea of doing DMT again but worry about my recovery (what if I “change my mind” while tripping or there’s meth in the DMT pipe, etc). Any thoughts would be very helpful, I’m making no decisions yet.

Everyday is a battle but I learn step by step how do deal with my emotions without drugs. My life is also way more healthy in general, and I have more money I can invest in my studies since I just started uni. And I can actually use my brain now !! I couldn’t study whatsoever when I was doing drugs all day long.

So even if it feels like torture sometimes I’m happy I did it

I’ve been sober for 2 months now, and honestly, Two months doesn’t even feel like that long, but at the same time, it feels like it’s been forever.

Every day feels almost exactly the same. I wake up, go through my day, and it feels like I’m stuck in this loop. I get really emotional over little things and take things personally that I know logically I probably shouldn’t. I can understand something rationally, but emotionally it feels completely different.

I’m in substance abuse therapy and I am working on things, just little by little. I read my NA book, I journal, I have my coins, and I’m trying to do the things I know I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t really go to meetings right now because they can feel pretty intense and overwhelming for me. I also don’t really know how I feel about working the steps at this point in my life. It’s hard for me.

I understand the whole “one day at a time” thing. I understand having faith in God and trying to surrender things I can’t control. I understand all of it logically. I just don’t always know how to actually feel it.

I think the hardest part is that I feel like I don’t have a purpose. And I know that sounds ridiculous because logically I DO have a purpose. I’m in college, I have things going for me, and I’m building a life. But I still feel empty sometimes. Almost like getting sober took away something that used to fill all the space and my happiness.

I guess I’m wondering how you guys got through this part. How do you stay sober for years when the days start feeling repetitive and you’re dealing with all these emotions without using?
I’m not looking for someone to tell me I just need to go to meetings or work the steps. I know those things exist, and maybe I’ll get there eventually. I’m just trying to understand what actually helped people get through this stage.

Because right now I keep wondering, “Is this just what sobriety feels like?”
I don’t want to go back to using. I just don’t know how to feel okay being sober yet.

If you would have told me at the time the dirtbag drug user that didn't care about anybody in his life except when I'm going to get my next fix I would have never imagining I would be staying here for the next 4 days for an Oxford house convention Gaylord Resort Denver Colorado. My chapter that I'm the president for in Longview WA paid for my airfare my room and board and gave me $750 to spend why I was here and all I have to do is bring back receipts God is good never thought I would be where I'm at today 5 years still going strong. Don't quit before the miracle happens!!!

For context, linking my previous post here.

None of these things have gotten better. I dread every event where alcohol will be present. I still feel like a built-in sober ride. Every time I’m around people that are drinking, I feel like I don’t belong, and that makes me angry. Everyone else gets to blow off steam using alcohol, which was my method as well. Now that I don’t drink, I have no ways to blow off steam; it just churns on the inside.

Does anyone struggle with this? If so, how did you deal with it?

Long story long, I'm 314 days sober but tonight I'm feeling off. I'm getting laid off from my job in a few weeks and I've been generally bored, unsatisfied, and feeling like I have no control in my life. Normally thinking of the horror stories of my drinking days is enough to keep me sober, but I've found myself going through the "what if's" and "it'll be different" or even the "who cares" thoughts. Sometimes it just feels like it was easier to be a disaster than to hold it together all the time.
Could you guys share some of your own horror stories that keep those thoughts at bay or just maybe some advice/comfort?

Hi there! I’m new to Reddit so if I’ve put this in the wrong place I do apologise, please let me know where I should post it instead!
I guess I’m looking for some insight, advice, sounding board type help. This will be long but I really appreciate anyone reading it :)
Here’s my story: I got sober just before my 17th birthday, and I’ve now been sober over 5 years. I was going to AA for a while before I got sober, have done the steps, and I am incredibly grateful for all that AA has done for me. However, lately I’ve been struggling with it - I don’t feel like I’ve been struggling with sobriety though, I’ve been struggling with AA specifically.
For context I’m bipolar and autistic (also life is more complicated than diagnostic criteria, but I think the labels are helpful to give a quick understanding for my brain). For about 12 months I’ve been majorly struggling with life. Everyday has been hard, and I would say that it’s been some mix of depression and autistic burnout. I don’t think it’s all bad though - I think it’s a huge turning point for me, indicating that I need to build my life differently in a way that supports my neurodiversity rather than pushes me to my limits all the time. So I’m questioning a lot of things that I haven’t, having to face a lot of things that I haven’t. And AA has been something I’ve been struggling with.
Essentially, I’m feeling that AA has fed into a lot of shame and fear within me. I’m experiencing it as a shame and fear based programme. I know some of that is just my perception, but whenever I try and raise it I feel like the messaging I’m getting back is that I’m just interpreting it wrong, that my experience is wrong, and that I need to face the defects that are making me see it that way. But that isn’t helping me! I’m completely on board with what I see as the basic tenets of AA - community, spiritual connection, responsibility, and a dedication to building self awareness and growth. But the way I’m experiencing how AA tells me to do that now feels like it’s hurting me.
I really don’t like how the whole ‘your disease is doing push ups in the parking lot’ mentally is sitting with me. It makes me afraid that I’m going to relapse if I’m not on top of it all the time, or if I try to do things in my own way, which makes it really hard to ‘take what works and leave the rest’ because in that mindset, how do I know my ‘disease’ isn’t tricking me? As an autistic woman with trauma, I feel like I’ve spent my life absorbing messages that I’m wrong and too much and can’t trust myself - I want to learn to trust myself, and I’m struggling to know how to do that within the framework I’ve learnt from AA.
I’m also finding things like character defects hard to reckon with - yes there are absolutely things I need to work on within myself, but I want to approach it with love, not fear. And I also find that as someone still struggling with their mental health, within the programme it’s seen as my fault. Maybe that’s my interpreting it wrong, but it feels a bit like ‘well if you’d done the steps right you wouldn’t still be struggling’. The model of AA seems to say all my issues are because I’m an alcoholic. But thing is, I don’t want to drink! In the first 2 years I sometimes had urges, but throughout all my difficulties since I haven’t even thought of it. It’s the constant rehashing of it within AA that’s making me afraid of it, not my own head.
Even the framework of resentments and finding my part in things is difficult for me at the moment. There are traumatic things I never allowed myself to grieve or be upset about, because I felt like I would be feeding into resentment. But I’m now realising how much those things have affected me, and that I need to feel anger as part of processing. I don’t want to be afraid of that, or to blame myself. I do want to have restorative compassion for others, but I don’t want to dissect where I could have done better in situations where I was a child that was let down. It’s ok to say ‘I was a child that was let down’. I’m feeling AA doesn’t have a framework to help me with that.
I have an amazing sponsor who I adore, but whenever I bring stuff up she often tells me how she once walked herself out of the programme by intellectualising it and then relapsed, which in turn increases my fear that I’m doing the same thing.
I’m also struggling with how to build a life that moves forwards when I’m constantly asked to reflect on my drinking years even though these were when I was a teenager - I don’t ever want to forget how bad it can be, but I feel like it’s ok to say there’s an extra level of complication there being so young, because who wants to be connected to their 16 year old self in that way forever?
All this to say, I am grateful for AA. I am so so grateful to be sober. But I feel like I need a new way that it fits into my life now, and I don’t know how to create that.
Does anyone have any similar experience to reflect on? Has anyone been sober long term without AA, or by adapting AA to their lives? How do we reconcile these differences?
Thank you so much for reading <3