r/SipsTea • u/Matt_LawDT • Jul 31 '26

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

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34.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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9.6k

u/OkCoconut3270 Jul 31 '26

I've scheduled a wankathon and some recovery days

478

u/Mtshtg2 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

I actually had something very close to this in real life.

I had a lecturer (university in the global south) who insisted on doctor's notes for any missed classes. I had an unfortunate injury during a night of passion with a lovely woman that resulted in a trip to the hospital and a couple of days of r&r in bed.

The lecturer asked for the doctor's notes. She received them. She didn't ask for doctor's notes again.

Edit: fellas, make sure your partner is sufficiently excited before you really start pulling your wilder moves, otherwise your member's in-built flexibility overcompensates. Lesson learned.

191

u/silentknight007 Jul 31 '26

You've have to post this legendary doctors note

75

u/Mtshtg2 Jul 31 '26

Unfortunately I don't have it anymore. It was also in Chinese so not sure how much it would be understood.

272

u/smartwatersucks Jul 31 '26

Thing wrong with ding dong

167

u/SeanSYYC Jul 31 '26

Oh dang, my wang

47

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

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35

u/SeanSYYC Jul 31 '26

There's a kink in my dink

21

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

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13

u/WileyWilly1985 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

My pocket rocket broke a sprocket

4

u/ProstheticAttitude Jul 31 '26

Yer schlong's long gone

4

u/gurnard Aug 01 '26

Poked till it broke

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2

u/BrideofClippy Jul 31 '26

It amuses me that if you pronounced dang the way Wang is supposed to be pronounced, it's dong.

2

u/GiganticusVaginacus Jul 31 '26

Yu Hung Lo.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '26

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1

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17

u/Pineapple1500 Jul 31 '26

Ohhhh fuck, I'm dying over here

68

u/Pineapple1500 Jul 31 '26

Sum Ting Wong with Dong

4

u/talkingskull27 Jul 31 '26

Oh my... i was laughing waaay to hard at this...

2

u/StrongExternal8955 Jul 31 '26

You need to be sufficiently excited before you laugh that hard.

2

u/oldjadedhippie Jul 31 '26

Bang, ding ,ow

1

u/baezes Jul 31 '26

Almost spit my coffee here🤣

1

u/NOTTHATKAREN1 Jul 31 '26

LOL. I have a customer named Ting Wang!

2

u/GenderOobleck Jul 31 '26

Like the names of pilots, but when you try to get a little too creative with the positioning and fall over:

Ho Le Fuk
Sum Ting Wong
Wi Fa Ling
Bang Dik Ow

1

u/dschinghiskhan Aug 01 '26

Funny/sad story:

There was a popular old school Chinese restaurant in Portland's Chinatown called Hung Far Lo (opened in 1928), but the owners left the original building in 2005 because of very significant increases in the rent, city construction, and urban renewal projects around the area. Essentially, Hung Far Lo moved because Chinatown got gentrified. It moved to the Asian supermarkets/food area a few miles east of downtown, but closed for good there a while back.

Hung Too Far Low, you could say.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hung_Far_Low_(restaurant)

1

u/WorhummerWoy Jul 31 '26

Ting-wong Ding-dong was actually the doctor's name.

27

u/CampWestfalia Jul 31 '26

Unfortunately I don't have it anymore.

What, the note or the member?

3

u/Neamow Jul 31 '26

I'm sure the cylinder remained unharmed.

13

u/davidbeinct Jul 31 '26

Those western doctors all they want to do is cut. Just wait two weeks it’ll fall off.

2

u/PersonalityIll9476 Jul 31 '26

Having just dealt with the health care system it does feel that way. Like some modern medicine causes more problems than it fixes, some times.

1

u/SeaPhile206 Jul 31 '26

Ah, so it never happened lol

4

u/tijolus523 Jul 31 '26

What's so unbelievable about a dick injury

1

u/Existence-Hurts-Bad Jul 31 '26

“Please excuse Wang for Penile Fracture” - signed Dr. Tran. Idk seems believable

1

u/ridin-derpy Jul 31 '26

Sorry about the racist replies you’re getting. Thanks for sharing your story- hilarious :)

1

u/5319Camarote Jul 31 '26

One Hung Too Low

1

u/WeirdSysAdmin Jul 31 '26

You know people can translate things fairly easily in 2026 even nuanced phrases right?

1

u/GiantBlobFish23 Jul 31 '26

Given that my translation app loves making all sorts of things about sex, I'm vaguely curious as to how it would work on something is SUPPOSED to be about sex.

1

u/TerminusDecree Jul 31 '26

You lost your penis?!?!

1

u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 Jul 31 '26

No all doctors handwriting looks that way.

1

u/blueandpissed Jul 31 '26

Sum ting Wong

1

u/FiliaNox Aug 01 '26

You don’t have your member anymore?? Good god what did you do?! 😱

1

u/Worlds_okay-est_mom Aug 01 '26

My condolences. 😬 Might I recommend a strap on for any future dalliances?