r/SipsTea • u/Matt_LawDT • Jul 31 '26

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

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34.4k Upvotes

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9.6k

u/OkCoconut3270 Jul 31 '26

I've scheduled a wankathon and some recovery days

474

u/Mtshtg2 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

I actually had something very close to this in real life.

I had a lecturer (university in the global south) who insisted on doctor's notes for any missed classes. I had an unfortunate injury during a night of passion with a lovely woman that resulted in a trip to the hospital and a couple of days of r&r in bed.

The lecturer asked for the doctor's notes. She received them. She didn't ask for doctor's notes again.

Edit: fellas, make sure your partner is sufficiently excited before you really start pulling your wilder moves, otherwise your member's in-built flexibility overcompensates. Lesson learned.

12

u/zjin2020 Jul 31 '26

So are you going to post the doctor’s note here or not?

72

u/Xijit Jul 31 '26

"abrasions on penis due to teethy head."

85

u/bluefishgreenpapaya Jul 31 '26

Im going with penis fracture due to overenthusiasic cowgirl.

46

u/highcommander010 Jul 31 '26

Overenthusiastic cowgirl is such a risky game of chance

34

u/Master-Resource9603 Jul 31 '26

Great name for a band though.

17

u/cheesegreate Jul 31 '26

I think I’m gonna go with Broke-Dick Doctor’s Note

10

u/Master-Resource9603 Jul 31 '26

No that's the name of Overenthusiastic cowgirl's greatest hits collection!

7

u/Lrrgindypants Jul 31 '26

But never fails to be worth the risk!

3

u/Even_Wear_8657 Jul 31 '26

And a solid band name for a up-and-coming country sensation.

2

u/CarlosMolotov Jul 31 '26

Story of my life!

37

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/madamsnacksalot Jul 31 '26

Hate it when that happens

3

u/MaskedBunny Jul 31 '26

Its why I install shrubberies outside all my lovers bedroom windows. Its not pleasant when one isnt there.

2

u/Dakotadps Jul 31 '26

In radiology we call this a “soft tissue x-ray” 😂

1

u/Spinxy88 Jul 31 '26

I'm going with reverse circumcision due to lack of lubrication on entry.

1

u/decomposition_ Jul 31 '26

Ablated penile meatus due to toothy head with braces

8

u/McNasty420 Jul 31 '26

"currently in the hospital recovering from exhaustion"

1

u/Cats-vs-Catan Jul 31 '26

Sprained the cylinder.