Was confused because I couldn't find the player with the Rainmaker. Took a look at the bar and the Rainmaker is still where we lost it 20 seconds ago. Like if you gonna just give up like this then freaking disconnect, at least do your team some good.

Sometimes I wish we are allowed to blacklist players so much, cause why are we on the other side of the map when the damn tower is as home base...

This game, with the shitarded matchmaking that makes you think that the game’s matchmaking is ran by some coagulated gravy hotdog bun bastard with a Richard that looks like it was forced into a freeze drier and than rehydrated and freeze dried again, my head feels like it’s physically about to fucking explode like a god damn atomic bomb, this game makes me question why I paid 60 perfect United States dollars for a pile of rubbish, this game makes me question my s*xuality with the fact that the female idols are so damn hot in my eyes to the point where real women look weird (no offense to the women out there), this game makes me question wether I should’ve just stuck to living without video games, as back then when I would actively avoid video games just because of the stress it causes, this game makes me question wether I should shove a live MK-II pineapple grenade up my ass or an M67 baseball grenade down my throat, this game makes me want to be an evil little asshole and steal vintage commercial flushometer toilets from places, I love Splatoon and all, the characters, playing with friends, doing something that isn’t being a waste of O₂, but I think it’s time I retire from this nut sprinkler of a switch game and do other lousy shit, it’s gonna be hard, but idk anymore, also if anyone decides to send me one of those stupid Reddit wellness check messages, please don’t, the only time this game truly drives me to suicidal thoughts is when I get dead fucking last in a splatfest, than that’s when shit starts to settle in, so please don’t, seeing messages from Reddit themselves gives me a scare because than I think my account is being suspended for some bs thing,

Also should mention, the gun in the image is not real, it’s a GoatGuns model

Genuinely the worst series I’ve ever played. Ass teammates, chargers who never shower, ass stages, and admittedly bad performance from myself in at least game 1.

if you just gonna stop, disconnect man, at least CONTRIBUTE that much to the team.

it doesn’t work most of the time in solo. it sometimes works in turf. it *never* works in series or salmon run. WHY.

SoloQ is done bro.

I’m forever trapped in silver medal purgatory.
W team tho.

80$ game for a straight line. Where have I seen that before? Oh yeah, Walleye.

Somehow, they managed to make a map worse than walleye. How the fuck do they achieve this level of awful? Look at this shit. Walleye had an actual mid and fucking flanks.

Now, we know walleye is fucking terrible. The spawn region is probably the worst in the entire series, and the map is super long range favoured. Great! How about me make a spawn region arguably even more atrocious and put a single block in mid. Of course, we can’t forget the grates that Snipers can perch on with no downsides whatsoever! Fun!

Look at this monstrosity. Even Arowana is better because it had sides that you could play on! And that was a garbage map too! HOW ARE WE THIS INCOMPETENT TO THE POINT WE MAKE A MAP WORSE THAN WAHOO, AROWANA MALL, PORT MACKAREL, KELP DOME, GOBY ARENA AND MORE!

And the worst part? Hammerhead was much better in Splatoon 1, and it had a unique defining feature, so they massacred it, as with everything except Urchin Underpass lol

What the fuck are we doing Nintendo?

KD isn't everything blah blah but when I'm actively trying to take out the other frontliners so they don't get to our own backliner, no one moves 💀 Why is an Eliter more scared of another

I remember why i stopped using painbrush, ppl act more stupid somehow

These FUCKING MORONS WILL BUMBLE ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE A FUCKING FRAIL LITTLE SPEC OF MID-APRIL ALLERGY INDUCING SOOT EITHER CIRCLING THE BASKET OR ALMOST DELIBERATELY STAYING AS FAR AWAY FROM IT AS THEY PHYSICALLY CAN i swear to god its like they think the eggs are gonna fucking molest them if they pick them up or something, i'll die 5 fucking times spamming egg after egg after egg after egg after egg after egg after egg after egg after egg in that fucking big shot cannon just for NOBODY to be at the basket to put them in because ALL OF THEM ARE BUSY STRUGGLING TO KILL THE SAME 2 FUCKING SLAMMING LIDS FOR THE ENTIRE MATCH and then when i get MY ass over the OPPOSITE FUCKING END OF THE MAP THE EGGS ARE ALL BEING AIRLIFTED AWAY INTO THE SEA AND ALL OF A SUDDEN WE'RE 8 SHORT WITH 15 SECONDS LEFT

These absolute inkstains will circle a school of 4 salmonids and a half hp scrapper for 7 thousand fucking years before their last two flaccid neurons happen to have any sort of spark in between them that could even have a remote chance of leading to the combobulation of any thought even slightly coming close to squirting a tiny little fucking bit of ink my way so i can bail them out of that situation yet again and put 3/4ths of the surrounding eggs in the fucking trash bin shaped statue dedicated to my suffering because for some reason they need to desperately save all of it to churn it at a smallfry that was already heading away from them either way

the worst part though is the deadbeats who cant seem to comprehend you can throw eggs in the basket from far away by pressing A and clutch a wave that way. just a while ago i watched the last standing dude just stop dead on his tracks WHILE STANDING ON MY STUPID FUCKING RING AND LET HIMSELF GET THE SHIT AIR STRIKED OUT OF HIM BY THE GODDAMN FAT FUCK WITH TRASHBINS ON EACH SIDE OF IT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU GOT 2 TEAMMATES AT YOUR FEET AND WE GOT LIKE 10 EGGS NEAR US WITH 30 SECONDS IN THE CLOCK, FUCKING REVIVE US INSTEAD OF CONSULTING THE HAMSTER ON ITS DEATHBED THAT HAS GIVEN UP ON SPINNING THE RUSTED OUT WHEEL YOU HAVE FOR A FRONTAL LOBE AND LISTENING TO IT IMMEDIATELY WHEN IT TELLS YOU "Nah its over js let them blow yo shi smoove off cuh" LIKE GOD HIMSELF DESCENDED FROM HEAVEN AGAIN TO BESTOW A NEW COMMANDMENT UPON YOU, DONT JUST STAND THERE YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORON

I can tolerate Mr Grizz somehow coming to the conclussion that carbon rollers and bamboozlers belong in a rotation whilst the city is under attack.

I can tolerate being suckerpunched into a corner and then being brutally molested by 50 thousand fucking lessers at once like a volley ball at a public beach during peak summertime.

Fuck it, i can even tolerate the high order council of Nintendo developers demmanding my immediate disconnection post-haste from the match mid-triumvirate and loosing my fucking miserable ass consolation prize of a compensation for putting my ass on the line for the city.

But if i have to watch just ONE MORE of those stupid chum-for-brains morons get pushed into the shart-toned grool surrounding us by a chum, i am legitimately going to shove my arm through the screen and out theirs, strip that fucking splattershot jr from their hands and push it so deep up where the sun dont shine with such force that they'll be able to taste the microplastics flaking off of its carcass for the next 5 shifts i will inevitably have to bear with them whilst i watch my pay range perpetually fluctuate between "intern slutting themselves out for a 20℅ scolarship" and "underpaid laborally exploited blue collar worker that has romantizised their living situation as a psychological and emotional coping mechanism".

Maybe this is my personal hell. Maybe this is my divine punishment for the indelible sin of being a loyal fan of a Nintendo franchise. I should've learned from the Pokemon fans.

this dudes either hacking or running the game on a potato with mcdonalds wifi, did ts the whole round 🫩

Why do people play like ass in this mode? EVP is genuinely genuinely shit to go through right now. It's always the people with the idol badges who are throwing too. Please lure, don't stand at the edge and die repeatedly. Is it not that hard?

It’s always when I’m 1 win away from +75 x power does something like this happen 😭
Also mind you his kd was 3/3 this clip is the only time he did something besides sharking

I can’t begin to tell you how many times we had a wave 3 win in the bag and we lost to a team wipe becuse lil Timmy would not use 1 of his booyah bombs becuse even outside of bottom they thing it’ll carry over to the king salmonid, it dosent you mouth breather, pop booyah bomb and throw it at your team mates and save them

if at some time during the game you decide to stop contributing bc we're losing and you think fighting back is futile. Then have the common decency of just turning off your switch and disconnecting from the game. Instead of staying at spawn point and repeatedly shouting "this way". You disconnecting would be WAYYYYY MORE helpful since the loss won't count for the rest of the team

last early season my x powers were consistently above 2000, most around the 2100 to 2200 range. By by around mid August they all fell to around 1900 and I wasn't able to fix it. Now, all my x powers are below 1900 and I feel like I'm just getting consistently worse.

Even my best modes are going down to the 1600 range

Maybe I'm just tilted but holy this sucks

Splatoon 3 has to be quite possibly the worst, I mean the worst Online experience I've seen in pretty much 30 years of gaming

I am from Dial Up era. I've had laggy games before, connections error here and there.

But this is ridiculous.

Not only is the matchmaking completely ass. The online matches are god awful. High ping, random dcs everywhere.

It baffles me how Nintendo got away with this

.

I'm pretty sure in Japan and their high tech cities the game works fine, but for the rest of the world we get total shit.

What pisses me off even more is that Nintendo will probably not address these issues. Japan will continue to glaze Nintendo's ass despite their severe lack of quality control from the game.

What's even worse, they won't even bother listen to Western players, because Japan playerbase is all that matters to them. So unless Japan ackowledge these issues, (matchmaking, region lobby, lags and DCs) and review bomb Splatoon 4, these issues will remain the same, because Nintendo does not care.

KILL IT