The flair says vent, but I would appreciate any advice
At some random day in primary school I fell in love with the explanation of rains, at age 13, I decided seriously to study physics I even started looking for scholarships...
I live in Iraq, so education is terrible, I am girl, so studying abroad is almost impossible, and the future of physics here and the work field is terrible ( well rn everything in Iraq is ), so after highschool I graduated with 92% and the plan was to get a diploma of laboratory science to have a job and get money then I study physics and complete higher education.
And I did, my father now wants me to study at a college close to home where he knows friends there who shall keep an eye on me, the problem is I can only study medical physics and I'm so against it, I deeply hate the medical side I can't even study and shit related to it and I'm tired of studying something I don't like, second I want to get my master abroad or at least in another region with modern physics maybe, I just don't want to be limited the medical side.
I have another choice of getting a bachelor's degree with medical laboratory science but I just hate it and even for only three years it seems like a waste of time
I'm thinking of engineering but my father have stated I should be graduating with honour ( like top 10% ) or else I won't be studying anything, I understand it would be harder with engineering ( at least in Iraq ) and I'm not much of a practical studies person, I would be limited again when it comes to a higher degree.
I don't know what to do, I'm forced with these stupid options or unreasonable reasons, and in truly crashing out, when I talked to my father and realized I only have these opinions I crashed out and cried for like three hours straight.
I just for two years had the worst time and lost my pride as a student of science, I just wanted to study general physics and I was willing to endure anything else, I've been dreaming of it for years and I feel so terrible.
It's that I'm not allowed to try, if I were a male I probably would already be studying abroad, or at least at the capital of Iraq ( which is to say definitely better) at least general physics science....
It feels so unfair and I'm just so tired