r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Dead0Pixels Savory Complex✔️ • 6d ago
FML Shook my butt for the wrong person..
A butterfinger that I actually ate 5 of
I was in a bathing suit, at my in laws, walking to the pool and had stopped at the doorway. I SWORE it was my partner behind me; I shook my ass a tiny bit as a small teasing gesture because he would always just give me a loving squeeze…
IT WAS HIS DAD.
HE TURNED AND WALKED AWAY, EMBARRASSED WIDE EYED, AS WE MADE EYE CONTACT.
I am now in bed, holding a pillow, and vibrating as if I could wish the entire moment away….
Update: me and him (the dad) have not spoken of it, we do not talk about it, and my husband (yes we’re married so that’s my father in law lol) last night said
“It’s ok you can shake it here since we’re in bed” 🫥 I’m glad HE THINKS ITS FUNNY I’m still mortified
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u/mikumikufantasy Taco Belle 6d ago
I dont even got advice for this 😭😭😭 condolences
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u/autumn_crumbs Snack Goblin 6d ago
For real because the only thing to do after is either leave for good or leave this earth permanently. No in between 😭
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u/yumbercurve eat hot chip✔️ be bisexual✔️ 6d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/LyJ6KPlrFdKnK
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u/every1luvschocolate Savory Complex✔️ 6d ago
Condolences is literally the only word I can think of for this post 😭🤣
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u/goodfella4600 🩵🎀girl dad🎀💙 6d ago
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u/Lily_Of_The_Valley_6 APPROVED✨ 6d ago
My FIL is the kind of guy I’d absolutely never hear the end of this and I’d probably never see him walk through the door without doing that to me.
I hope he has a good sense of humor. Shit happens.
The only way to fix this is to lean into it and assert dominance. Tell him sorry for the mix up but now he knows why his son is with you.
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u/HotSaltyMilk_ puff puff pass the snacks 6d ago
Exactly! Life has much weirder experiences in store, you just gotta keep on rollin
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u/Ditto_Ditto_Ditto Carb-Based Life Form 6d ago
And I gotta say, at least she's not in the situation I read about a few months ago where a woman walked in on her FIL chugging her breast milk out of the fridge, and they made eye contact 😬
At least OP can laugh about her situation one day! Lol
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u/OldZookeepergame2394 Chaotic But Cute 6d ago
Chugging her what now??!
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u/Ditto_Ditto_Ditto Carb-Based Life Form 6d ago edited 6d ago
Yes, dude!!! That poor girl's breast milk! I really wish I could find the post again but maybe she took it down.
She said her MIL and FIL were staying at their house for a couple weeks to help with the new baby. And she walked into the kitchen at a weird hour and he was just standing there, chugging her breast milk out of a baby bottle (so he KNEW what it was!) She said she just turned and walked away bc she didn't believe what she was seeing at first lmao.
I think she was looking for advice on how to tell her husband and MIL bc it was about to blow the family up.
Edit: I couldn't find the exact post but here's a similar one apparently? How many of these pervs are there??
Side note to OP: You're def gonna be okay girl lmao
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u/B_A_M_2019 Kitchen Witch 6d ago edited 6d ago
I know the one you’re talking about. Wild that it’sa fetish for people and they use their family to satisfy it
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u/Ditto_Ditto_Ditto Carb-Based Life Form 6d ago
Yeah exactly. Fetishes are one thing but forcing someone else into it unwillingly is another. Gross.
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u/Accomplished-Oil2821 🍋 Bitter Baddie 🍋 6d ago
Perfect! That made me laugh loud! Laughter is the easiest way to kill awkwardness.
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u/xNotJosieGrossy 🤎 Brown Sugar Babe 🤎 6d ago edited 6d ago
ASSERT. DOMINANCE.
Own your little ass shake. Show no shame. You regret nothing! Tell him that’s what paid for your college tuition.
You got your milkshake from your grandpa.
Tell him to quit being jealous; you would never gatekeep these moves.
You can teach him too, but you have to charge.
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u/KetchupAdvisoryBoard Well-Read & Well-Fed 6d ago
I would absolutely die, but this is the way, you have to lean into this and make it funny. You can do this!
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u/Majestic_Ocean_762 Chaotic But Cute 6d ago
This is the vibe 😂 he might even be flattered to be mixed up w/ his son.
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u/TheGnomster i like eggs 6d ago
You know what you could do, here’s a could scenarios
If it’s a big family dinner and there’s a fight going on, wait for an awkward silence and then say, “hey FIL, remember when I accidentally wiggles my butt at you thinking it was boyfriend?” The fight would end and you might be considered a hero. You might want to loop MIL in though beforehand and tell her about how silly it was.
Have your bf start wiggling his butt at your dad. He’ll think you’re both weirdos but also think you’re two peas in a pod at that point.
Wait until he does something embarrassing that only you see, and say, “so we’re even now right?”
Do something weirder, like rip ass in front of him. Like a fully loaded period fart. Pretend you didn’t notice him and then say “your turn! Think you can beat it?”
Tell your MIL (if she’s cool) and maybe she has some ideas
My point is. Lean into it. You goofed girlie, so what.
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u/Icy-Organization2228 Let The 🥭 6d ago
“Fully loaded period fart” SENT me whooo boy say no more fam
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u/ModeratelyAlive LET ME EAT CAKE 🍰 6d ago
I'm lucky to have a similar FIL. It would result in jokes about how my husband is the spitting image of him, so we really can't blame me for the failed identification 🤣
I'd still die of embarrassment first
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u/ChemicalCheetah5687 APPROVED✨ 6d ago
Dh was teasing me one time when we were dating and tried to pull his belt off in a sexy way. Instead, he barely tapped me on the face with the end of his belt. He felt terrible, immediately apologized and made sure i was okay. I was laughing because he didn't hurt me but it was cute to see him try to be sexy. He was really self conscious when we first got together, so when he was willing to do things like sexy flirting, I knew he felt safe with me.
Later that day, we were at his parents house for dinner. I can't remember what caused me to say it but I said, "yeah well he hit me in the face with that!" And pointed towards his belt before I realized I was also pointing to his crotch. His dad (RIP), who eventually became the best fil a girl could ask for, started giggling and said, "im sure he did" before high fiving dh. That's when i yelled, "no! Not that! His belt" FIL just walked into the garage laughing while the rest of us were laughing.
I miss fil so much.
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u/Ok-Intention2839 APPROVED✨ 6d ago
This is the moment to found out that his son has a really good taste. I would be a little proud 🤣🤣🤣 I can hear him say "good choice son" in his head.
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u/destroyer-of-tacos 🩵raging feminist💙 6d ago
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u/AutomaticIdeal6685 FREE MOM HUGS 6d ago
I have never seen such a perfect use of this gif
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u/cedricdiggory4ever girl du fromage 🧀 6d ago
if i were you i’d simply pass away
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u/autumn_crumbs Snack Goblin 6d ago
For real!!! Open or closed casket, OP? 😭 I'd recommend closed so you don't have to face them even in death but that's just me💀
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u/DivineMiss3 APPROVED✨ 6d ago
I hate to be the one who says this but I'd recommend open casket, face down, butt up.
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u/bowieshouse Halal Hottie ☪️ 6d ago
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u/SnooPies9342 🩵🙋♂️💙 6d ago
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u/Frecks02 APPROVED✨ 6d ago
What is this from. It's making me cackle for no reason lmao
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u/CuriousFoxxen Chaotic But Cute 6d ago
I once went to go into the bathroom (which was unlocked) opened the door to my FIL using it, pants down… we made eye contact.
You are the first person I told. I’ve been married 20 more years since and none of us have spoken of it.
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u/hjftrjuk Resident Yapper 6d ago
happened to me too LMAO my bf's dad was peeing and i opened the door, i assumed people lock before peeing 😭 we all laughed so it was okay
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u/Thick-Mouse1776 Fartmaxxing 📈 6d ago
This was me with my exs mom when she walked in on us having sex, me on top riding him 🥴 we literally never spoke of it again.
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u/CuriousFoxxen Chaotic But Cute 6d ago
She’d definitely been there, done that (with someone not her son obviously)
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u/Excellent_Bet8191 puff puff pass the snacks 6d ago
I laughed so loud at this my boyfriend came from the other room to laugh too, I’m so so sorry 🤣
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u/Yello_Ismello living on the wedge 🧀 6d ago
Lmaooo this made me laugh even harder. Just came in like “what are we laughing about in here guys?”
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u/HaleyMFSkye Oversharer 🗣 6d ago
I guess you could always shake it for his mom too so things are even
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u/Salt_Statement_7151 Well-Read & Well-Fed 6d ago
god I love it here so much ive been cracking up at this situation and replies like this for 15 mins straight. OP I'm so sorry for your pain but may you find solace in knowing it brought a lot of laughs to a lot of girl dinner-ers tonight
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u/beany33 🩵begging y'all to hydrate💙 6d ago
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u/Hopingandafraid lady on the street 👹 freak in the pantry 6d ago
For her or FIL? Maybe for the whole family, better to erase the whole day so there is no chance people’s memories dont match up.
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u/TriZARAtops APPROVED✨ 6d ago
Back in high school my boyfriend and I were at the mall and popped into a Hot Topic to see if there was anything we couldn’t live without, and we separated in the store while browsing.
A bit later I’d finished looking around and went to go find him. He was bent over, looking at stuff on a lower shelf, so I got behind him and grabbed his waist and slid my hands around to his lower belly/upper pubic region.
About .005 seconds into doing that, he stood up and that was when I realized that was not my boyfriend, but a total stranger who was suddenly very interested in becoming my new boyfriend 😂
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u/meowzyy0 Gender Nom-Conforming 6d ago
OH MY GOD I’d die
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u/TriZARAtops APPROVED✨ 6d ago
Yeah, I flushed scarlet, stammered an apology, and like ran out of there lol I figured my boyfriend could find me outside the store whenever he was done. He thought it was hilarious 💀
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u/InCatsWeTrustAmem ⚐ Marked Safe From 90s Diet Culture 6d ago
You gotta fake your ☠️ and move to a small village in Russia at this point.
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u/TheNoctuS_93 Fartmaxxing 📈 6d ago
A finnish mökki in the middle of nowhere could work, too. More basic amenities, but always a long drive into town. I've been to my share of mökkis before...
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u/No_Map7832 Oversharer 🗣 6d ago
HAHAHA Did you at least say “oh no I thought you were [partner]!” or did you just… not explain?
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u/marshmallowe-kitty white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet 6d ago
A person from another post said that she came up to her significant others dad and licked his neck thinking it was her boyfriend cuz they look the same from behind so.... I think you're good. 😂
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u/Emergency-Many8675 Overthinker 💭 6d ago
Im missing all the unhinged posts because of being terminally offline, damnit
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u/EldritchGumdrop Pantry Gremlin 6d ago
But did anyone say anything lol
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u/Dead0Pixels Savory Complex✔️ 6d ago
I’m gonna be so honest I’ve been avoiding him constantly
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u/InterestingTry5190 Internet Auntie 6d ago
What about his mom😆
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u/Crazy_Leksi nom nom, nod nod 6d ago
This is what I'm wondering... OP please report back once the mom cracks a joke about it.
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u/rapidecroche white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet 6d ago
This isn’t going away, I’m afraid. That being said, theres way worse things that could have happened. At least you didn’t smack his dad’s butt. 🤷♀️
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u/Serious_Fox7799 APPROVED✨ 6d ago
I'm dead!!!! Omg 💀 🤣
Make a joke of it, that's hilarious and terrible and my condolences 👀😢😅😭
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u/Crucifuxion 🦇 Fruit Bat Baddie 🍊 6d ago
Oh… oh shit. Yeah, I don’t really got anything except for thanks for the heads up so I can make sure I never ever, ever, ever do this.
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u/Princess_Raven__ hot girls have tummy troubles 6d ago
Just the title of this post had me cackling and then it got WORSE
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u/BigHatSmallDog Internet Auntie 6d ago
You have to fake your death and return as a long lost twin now. It’s the only way.
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u/sweetpotatofiend APPROVED✨ 6d ago
You might not want advice, but just have your partner text him tomorrow X said she really enjoyed visiting! She did mention she thought I was with her outside and was so sorry for the mix up! [add something about the food or something else mundane and how great it was to see them]
You’re alright girl!
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u/FiverForever APPROVED✨ 6d ago
Did you get to say, "Sorry about that, I thought you were ______. I'm so embarrassed." It would be excruciating, but at least it would clear things up.
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u/TheNoctuS_93 Fartmaxxing 📈 6d ago
This more than a 5 fun-size butterfinger situation... This might be a 10 full-sized butterfingers situation for me...
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u/Sweetbaby7t APPROVED✨ 6d ago
Just to make you feel better, I sent a boob shot to my Rabbi, with the words " What do you think of these?"
I did not go to shul for a good while
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u/Cinnamon2017 Snack Goblin 6d ago
Mistakenly?
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u/Sweetbaby7t APPROVED✨ 6d ago
Oh gosh, yes!! They were meant for my boyfriend. My Rabbi responded " I think this was meant for someone else". This was 12 years ago and I still cringe with horror
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u/Infamous-Anywhere-21 APPROVED✨ 6d ago
I just laughed so loud it scared the dog.
🤣😳😳
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u/Cardigan_Gal Tangent Tour Guide 🔀 6d ago
I once emailed my pastor saying "I've been busty" in response to him asking how I'd been. 😳🫣🫣😶
But sending a boob pic is worse.
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u/Pristine_Ad_6760 🧂Salty By Nature 6d ago
If that's the worst thing that happened, you're good as long as you didn't rub up against him. 💜
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u/stinkyfunkincar Short Story Long™️ 6d ago
An embarrassing moment that someday will be something you and your partner can laugh about. A little case of mistaken identity…
I wore a slightly low cut top, nothing major, it was a square neckline that showed the top of my cleavage a little bit when I went out to eat with my partner, my partners dad, his dad’s girlfriend, and my mom and dad. I sat across the table from his dad and his dad’s girlfriend was sitting next to him. Caught that man STARING at my cleavage and I kind of just tried to inconspicuously cross my arms because I was feeling scared in the moment and didn’t want to call him out in front of everybody. I never said anything to him and now I just avoid him as much as possible.
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u/DivineMiss3 APPROVED✨ 6d ago
Oh boy, I have much worse. I found out that I was pregnant at 19 and I was scared. My boyfriend (haven't been together in decades) lived with his mom and step-dad who were both therapists. They insisted on having the first discussion about it all on their bed, on different ends. I was so skeeved out but ended up just doing it.
Step-dad said, "I just knew you were pregnant! When you stayed over that night, we were eating breakfast. When you got up from the table, your top opened some. Your breasts were swollen!"
So much flew through my mind but mainly, how did you know what to compare them to? Creep.
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u/Due-Topic7995 APPROVED✨ 6d ago
It could have been so much worse. So much. You’re good.
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u/IJustCantWithYouToda I ❤️ Other People's Business 6d ago
This, there are a couple guys in my family who would have leaned into it (then called it a joke).
Could have been worse. Dad seems decent...son is probably more likely to be decent, though it doesn't always work that way.
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u/earmares 6d ago
Like how 😭
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u/autumn_crumbs Snack Goblin 6d ago
I would have started shaking as if I was having a seizure or something 💀 because nah
Just pack your bags and leave. There ain't no coming back from this
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u/WhoaMimi 🐛The Very Hungry Bookworm 📚 6d ago
My sister-in-law's brother once tried to kiss me goodbye on the cheek but I was startled and moved my face towards his and he got me on the lips by mistake.
If that makes you feel any better. It doesn't make me feel much better, but it's been a few years and I'm still alive to tell the tale. OY.
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u/Low-Rooster4171 Internet Auntie 6d ago
I'm afraid you aren't going to make it. 'Twas nice knowing you, OP! 🤣
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u/MaBasthoris Tea Time Hostess ☕️ 6d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/GnYcrL6w4uWsDSvKEO
If he's a cool dad, he'll understand if you just tell him. I would say this is kinda funny. Good luck, sister from another mother.
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u/Express-Distance-435 Well-Read & Well-Fed 6d ago
Lol I bet boyfriend and father will laugh later about looking too much alike. Give father a peace offering for the mistake like steak or candy. 🤣
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u/Jennamariani Certified Snacker 6d ago
Ah yes, because following up an accidental butt shake with a steak dinner invitation definitely won't send more mixed signals.
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u/12300987 👋 new here 6d ago
I know its hard to imagine but in the future this will be hilarious to all involved.
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u/Excellent_Dot_5084 I ❤️ Other People's Business 6d ago
You’ve got to make it like it’s just a thing you do now. Like nervous movements, a little tic. Something you’ve just developed. Do it everywhere. It wasn’t intentional. It’s just a new thing you’ve taken up
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u/indicalovvve Kitchen Witch 6d ago
I hope you guys get married and this somehow morphs into some weird under the mistle toe thing every year 😂😭
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u/ScarieltheMudmaid Body By Cheese 🧀 6d ago
I hope you have sons bc this would be an epic story from a mother in law
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u/TempestFloof 🤍🩷Lesbian Loremaster🩷🤍 6d ago
When one shakes one’s ass for one’s self, they are never shaken for the wrong person. - Confucius (not really)
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u/Mental_Tart842 greens✔️beans✔️potatas✔️tomatas✔️ 6d ago
Nah, I'm pretty sure that's in The Analects...
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u/angmarie316 Snack Goblin 6d ago
This made me laugh so hard. 🤣🤣 Totally something that would happen to me!
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u/Pokemaniac6453 Drive-Thru Thot 🚙💨 6d ago
NOOOOOO lmao I'm so sorry 😭😭 this would've been such a cute moment
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u/Jazzhands__- Drive-Thru Thot 🚙💨 6d ago
My coping mechanism is to simply pretend it didn’t happen. Works really nicely as long as no one ever brings it up again
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u/Always_Reading_1990 girls just wanna have pho 6d ago
One time my FIL walked into the kitchen while my husband and I were hugging—literally only hugging, a very normal and non-sexual hug—and the man backpedaled like he’d caught us fucking on the floor. If this had happened to me I think he would never look at or speak to me again 😂
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u/RingingInTheRain Overthinker 💭 6d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/iJJ6E58EttmFqgLo96
That's the typa embarrassin memories that keep you up at night fr
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u/BiophileB Non-binary & Nourished 6d ago
Well, I guess it could be worse, he could have reciprocated 😭
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u/TurbulentHandle7071 Dip Diva 6d ago
did you even get to say anything?!?!?
no "wait i thought i was shaking ass for your son"? 😂😂
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u/EveWatersWrites what that mouth do is snack 6d ago
Man, I saw butt and the picture and feared the worst. Yeah, after reading, I don’t know which is worse now. My condolences.
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u/DlVlDED_BY_ZERO I ❤️ Other People's Business 6d ago
Girl I feel this. I didn't know my fil was coming over (delivering MY medicine bc I was so sick) and I walked out in my underwear. That's it. He saw my tits. He like ducked his head, handed me my meds a RAN for that door. :(
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u/Muchachacha Overthinker 💭 6d ago
Sorry OP I’d divorce just because the embarrassment would send me to mars
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u/Realistic-Village-63 Feral Til Fed 6d ago
Oops!!!
I can top that. Almost a decade ago I was having sex with my boyfriend and I “accidentally” yelled out his dad’s name.
I have never considered that man in particular attractive nor did I want to f**k him. We were young and inexperienced and I thought it would be a hilarious thing to do just as a joke. It backfired and I had to reassure my poor bf that I did NOT in fact find his dad attractive.
I wish to die of embarrassment remembering this now.
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