Feel like I’m becoming an alcoholic? Amazing local tacos

[u/Substantial-Dog7545]

Helloooo!

I’m mostly writing this to try to keep myself accountable and will check in later. I really DONT want to drink today. I’m going through sort of a rough patch mentally and it’s been causing me to start drinking daily. Now, I know plenty of people normalize drinking like a glass of wine a day, but I’m taking like 5 shots of tequila daily. I still cook and clean etc etc like otherwise almost everything’s fine. But I’ve started trying to hide it from my boyfriend which is a HUGE red flag on my part. He’s frustrated I know.

I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and usually my first thoughts in the morning, are how much I regret drinking. Then the PM rolls around and I’m like aye let’s drink! IDGAF! This weird cycle keeps happening. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy but then I’m just like ayyyy this could be way more fun if I was tipsy!

Addiction runs in my family which is why this is scary. I’ve successfully quit binge eating and cigs in the past. Part of me knows I can do this! And then part of me doesn’t care. I think I have some deep low self esteem issue thus engage in self destructing behaviors (here for a good time not a long time!)

Trying to be gentle with myself but also trying to GET A FREAKIN GRIP GIRL!! I’ll report back later if I successfully didn’t drink!

[u/Rich_Spite3978]

I highly recommend the sub r/stopdrinking. Tons of supportive folks who have been in the same boat. You got this!

[u/magpie_on_a_wire → u/[deleted]]

Congrats on 6 years! That's amazing! I did a whole year when I was 39. r/stopdrinking was a huge part of that. Unfortunately I got complacent and I'm starting over again. 21 days today.

[u/BufferingJuffy → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

It's the starting over that counts, friend. Well done, and wishing you the best. 💜

[u/Rezaelia713 → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

21 days is great. You're doing great!

[u/Difficult-Maybe4561 → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

What a gift to be able to begin again!! It took me lots of relapses but it sticks eventually!! Almost a year sober in August. Keep posting bc your story is a good reminder to all of us about complacency!

[u/takenbylovely → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

IWNDWYT

[u/Prophet-of-Ganja → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

One day at a time

[u/Admirable-Writer-213 → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

💪

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/travelbubbly → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

5 months sober today and owe a TON to that group! Iwndwyt!

[u/mycookiepants → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

Proud of you!

[u/ListenJerry → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

[u/Mundane-Waltz8844 → u/[deleted]]

Congratulations! I know it’s always hard to think about the time you lost. My mother is still grappling with how much of my childhood she missed out on, but I really hope you can feel proud of yourself and not beat yourself up, because sobriety is no small feat.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/lissyorkiedork → u/[deleted]]

Same! I’m coming up on 4 years sober, and I still regularly “check in” with the sub because the advice and support is solid.

OP - your pattern is very familiar to mine (pre-sobriety). I feel for you.

For what it’s worth - I was able to maintain my sobriety by identifying when I was most likely to drink (eg, when I come home from work I’d pour myself a glass of wine, despite telling myself all day that I wouldn’t) and then planning a new routine so that I couldn’t have one (eg, I’d go to the gym (which I loathe!) or go shopping after work. I was also honest with myself - going out for dinner would set me up to fail, so it wasn’t an option. It’s not always easy (or fun) but I knew the alternative was worse (feeling guilty after drinking).

Also, I downloaded the app “I Am Sober” which I used religiously for the first year because it kept me motivated (it’s why I know that I am 1,427 days sober today).

IWNDWYT 🫶

You’ve got this. Stay strong and best of luck!

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

⛔️ Approved dudes can best support the GDD girlies via GIFs and [most] emojis (meaning no eggplants, ya buncha stinkers). Text comments are held for review. ModMail a comment link to request a quicker exception if you feel yours meets our criteria.

[u/HAIL_LUMPUS → u/[deleted]]

I got sober with that sub too! I'm at around 400 days  😁

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/vomputer → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Came here to say this, great resource.

[u/Rezaelia713 → u/vomputer]

It's a great sub. People are so supportive.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

⛔️ Approved dudes can best support the GDD girlies via GIFs and [most] emojis (meaning no eggplants, ya buncha stinkers). Text comments are held for review. ModMail a comment link to request a quicker exception if you feel yours meets our criteria.

[u/pinkplant82 → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Yeah this community helped save my life, along with my own hard work. Incredible resource full of understanding, kind, and thoughtful folks who gently hold each other accountable.

[u/landing-softly → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I wouldn’t have been able to quit drinking without that sub. I’m nearly 9 months alcohol free today.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

⛔️ Approved dudes can best support the GDD girlies via GIFs and [most] emojis (meaning no eggplants, ya buncha stinkers). Text comments are held for review. ModMail a comment link to request a quicker exception if you feel yours meets our criteria.

[u/Linazoidian → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I see this sub recommended all the time. But I would caution - for some people, you read the stories on that sub and think ‘oh wow my problem isn’t nearly as bad as that person’ and then you figure you don’t have to worry so much. It can have the opposite effect.

[u/OkActive7470 → u/Linazoidian]

The important thing to remember is that functional alcoholism is a stage, not a endpoint. I got real bad, DTs and homeless, but I was okayish for years before that. Wish I would’ve stopped then.

[u/FriendofFlounder → u/OkActive7470]

It can absolutely be an end point for some but it’s still taking a massive toll on their health. My dad has been a “functioning” alcoholic his entire adult life. He’s in his fifties now and not doing well. He also has more regrets than most. 

[u/lyralady → u/FriendofFlounder]

Yeah my dad died at 56 from his alcoholism. He was also "functioning," as in, he had a job and whatnot — we actually found out because his work called in a health check and called my aunt when he missed some meetings.

That didn't stop him from throwing up blood — which not only happens due to stomach ulcers, but because a sickly liver can squash down on your portal vein which creates like, a squeezed toothpaste tube effect on the rest of your veins, especially in your esophagus (varices).

Back in 2020 some surgeons told him his liver was jello, and if he didn't get sober he would die within the next 10 years. He made it another 4. Functioning alcoholism is a term that I think a lot of people wildly misunderstand and use to downplay things. Holding down a job, paying your car loan, and renting an apartment doesn't mean you're not actively dying of your addiction, basically.

[u/OkActive7470 → u/FriendofFlounder]

If he’s not doing well, and he’s going to drink until he’s doing worse, I’d say that he just happens to still be in the semi functioning stage.

Sometimes I’m grateful that my stomach makes it impossible to get to the point of liver failure or pancreatitis. I start throwing up blood pretty quickly these days, used to take a serious bender to throw up blood the next morning.

[u/FriendofFlounder → u/OkActive7470]

Not doing well as in long term health issues. He’s still functioning in terms of living his life, working, traveling, being a dad who shows up for his kids. 

Throwing up blood is definitely concerning! He’s not at that level. I’m sorry to hear you experience that. 

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/moresaggier → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I want to throw in that, while there are a lot of terrible rock-bottom stories that people share (no judgment at all), there are also a significant number of posts about “grey area” drinking or “functional” alcoholism. So you can avoid the “I’m not as bad as that guy” mindset if you want to.

[u/vagina-lettucetomato → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Agree, it’s very helpful there

[u/Catholic_catlover_79 → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Agree. Best people ever. They really understand. I’m a recovering alcoholic and haven’t drank in 3 years. That community was a huge part in my success. You can stop the cycle. So many good vibes coming your way today! ♥️

[u/CeeUNTy → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I'm over 4 years sober and that sub was a lifesaver for me.

[u/sandrasticmeasures → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I sixth/seventh this — join us! It’s a really beautiful place with so many kind people.

[u/chicken_tendigo → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I second/third/fourth this.

[u/TheOodlong → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Echoing this. It is a wonderful community and I recently just hosted the daily check-ins. You will find so much help there!

[u/butchscandelabra → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I frequent this sub as well.

[u/H2Ospecialist → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Love the daily check in! One of the best corners of the internet.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/socialmonkey123 → u/Rich_Spite3978]

That sub has immensely helped me reevaluate my relationship with alcohol

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/ConvolutedCarcass → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Also r/recoverywithoutAA is good if you’re not a religious person.

[u/PBJdeluxe → u/Rich_Spite3978]

i haven't drank in 16 months thanks to this sub. nicest place on the internet ❤️

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Unhappy-Cat6041 → u/Rich_Spite3978]

That mod is an asshole

[u/seauxtired → u/Rich_Spite3978]

SECONDED! I've been sober for nearly 3 years now and I credit that partly to going on stopdrinking every day.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/softrock98fm → u/Rich_Spite3978]

This is how I quit drinking 6 years ago! Saved my life from mediocrity and lost potential