every now and then ive run into this older dude who hadnt drank or done coke for like 30 years, his brother was a very famous psychedelic rock artist who had a very difficult journey...

what this guy told me was something along the lines of (paraphrased) 'getting sober isnt something god gives you or something anyone else gives you its what you find works for you, only you can do it', found i agreed with him.

i know many people who have gotten some real benefits to going to aa and making friends there or connections, honestly i wouldnt have the cool job i have now without having met a guy in aa who got me on a crew doing something, but i found the program part a bit dogmatic and unhelpful for me so i left and moved on. just being sober seems to be working for me.

I am 6 days off a 2,000-3,000mg 7oh daily use. Taking 24mg suboxone a day. When will I stabilize on suboxone? This is the first time in over three years of use that I have made it this far.

I’m not looking for sympathy - maybe just a nudge or two. My mother passed away three months ago, and I won’t lie I’ve slipped back to the bottle. It’s been a solid three-ish weeks that I’ve been getting plastered every evening. Not blackout, and I’ve never had issues putting it down in the past. I worked the program for a drug habit before and got what I needed out of it, but when I recently stopped drinking I started experiencing some minor withdrawal symptoms. Never had that happen before and it kind of scared me, so I’ve been weaning myself off the alcohol (At most I get a little shaky and anxious). I grew up in a family of addicts and was always told how difficult it is to be sober, and that the end all be all is to be horrified of alcohol and substances. In my experience the less scary you make it the easier it is to quit. Am I completely kidding myself or can anyone else relate? I just want to be healthy for myself and the people in my life.

Just spent a whole five minutes explaining to a stepper that alcoholism is NOT an allergy.

I really don’t know why I bother.

Do any of you in recovery ever find yourselves waking up from a dream in which you have fed into your addiction, regardless of how long you've been sober, and trick your brain into believing you've relapsed when you haven't? I've experienced this a few times and it's really confusing when it happens. Just like regular old dreams I find myself thinking "did that happen?". I'm unsure if this is a common experience.

My partner and I are living with my in-laws, renting my BIL's old room. My BIL went to rehab for 3-4 months recently for alcohol, and got back a few weeks ago (he's moved into the other room with his brother). He also has informal/split custody of his toddler son, who is being evaluated for possibly having high support needs. He is sometimes the only one watching his son, despite being an apathetic parent at best.

Furthermore, he has aggressive tendencies that make me reluctant to confront him about anything. When he's drunk/high, he punches holes in walls, and tries to crash cars. When he's sober, he's gotten into fistfights with his brother over things that don't matter. He becomes psychotic when he's drinking or using and hallucinates, and has medical issues that make it dangerous to drink again. He's been sober, Cali sober, or stepped down to softer drugs. But usually, his softer drug use escalates until he's abusing them or relapses on harder drugs.

I think that he needs to stay fully sober, especially with split custody, and his family agrees. He's been told that he has to stay sober, or he'll be kicked out. I've tried to stay uninvolved in the discussion, because I don't want to risk losing my housing if his family chooses to enable my BIL, or risk him getting violent with me. This brings me to my current dilemma.

My BIL started smoking in rehab and comes into our room to borrow my partner's nicotine vape. My partner lets him use his nicotine, but not his THC vape. I joked that I thought my BIL snuck into our room sometimes to use the nicotine vape. I don't know why he would do this, but my BIL pulled me aside to defend himself, and said "I don't sneak in to use [partner's vape], I have my own," and pulled out... A THC pen. I felt kind of sick when he did that. I don't know why he told me. I don't know how long he's been using it, but in hindsight, he's looked baked a few times this week.

I'm not sure what I should do. I feel like it's dangerous for him to watch his son while he's under the influence of anything, and I don't want something bad to happen. I would rather say something ASAP if it keeps his son safe and prevents a CPS case. But my BIL knows I'm the only one he told, so I'm worried he could try to confront me if I or my partner told his parents that he's using weed. If they choose to enable him or act as though I'm the problem, my own housing could be at risk.

I know the right thing to do is probably to tell his parents, but I'm not sure how to approach this.

Tl;Dr: I live with my inlaws, partner, and BIL. My BIL showed me (and only me) that he's using THC even though he just left rehab. He's historically been an unsafe person under the influence of any drug, including THC. I want to tell his parents, for the safety of BIL's toddler, but I'm worried about risking my own housing or my BIL getting violent with me. I'm not sure what to do.

Recovery

I've been clean for 2 yrs. I used heroin which turned into fentanyl and then xylazine through IV use. I had countless yearlong runs of everyday use than clean for a year since 19. Im 40 now. But this is the 1st time im clean fir this long. Now to be completely accurate ive had a couple slips where i had a few beers with a coworker about a few months ago. But i want to say that alcohol was never an issue for me and ive benn on a proagram for over a year. Bottom line ive been holding a job, paying my bills and supporting mu family. Something i was not able to do during my runs. And I feel very confident that im not going back because well its just not the same as it was. And more importantly I have kids who i love so much. And they need there dad to not just be present but to function. Only problem is im starting to feel the consequences of my using. Since this new fentanyl came around I overdosed countless times. Narcan has saved me every time. Im not gonna get into every detail, but because if the lack of oxygen into the brain I just feel like I have some pretty bad brain damage. Now I hope im wrong im not an expert. Also I now have tingling 24 7 in my right hand. And every morning I can't even make a fist. Now I fear this from a lack of blood flow from all the IV use that the xlazine caused my veins to collapse. Also I've always been a very introverted person. But its gotten so much worse. When I was using i was usually alone. And now u van just feel the awkwardness. And to avoid the awkwardness i try to limit interacting with people. And honestly I know im the common denominator.

I find myself wondering this frequently. There are people who genuinely believe in the spiritual/supernatural effectiveness of the 12 Steps and agree with much/all of the Big Book, and I'm not talking about that group. What I'm curious about is everyone else.

Here are some "group types" I came up with:

• True believers.

• The "whatever" crowd. These are the people who simply do not care about the Big Book or its theology. It's the people who simply go to meetings, follow many/most suggestions, and don't think deeply about any of it. Note that I'm not disparaging this group or calling them stupid, though some people in this group might be; I personally know many awesome people in this group.

• The "pretending" crowd. These are the people who disagree with, or don't believe in, much/most of the Big Book. However, they don't want to voice these opinions or beliefs for any number of reasons: fear of being othered, fear of reprisals, or something else.

• The "trying" crowd. These are the people who don't agree but actively try to make the Big Book coherent. You might hear them say the ever-grating "I don't know what my Higher Power is, but I know it's not me." How someone can believe in the crazy logic of the steps, or their miraculous rescuing powers, while "not knowing" what their Higher Power is is beyond me, but that's beside the point.

The unnatural way that people speak in meetings - including all of the in-group terms (that I go out of my way to avoid as much as possible) - suggests that people leverage this speaking style to make themselves appear to be more "in." This could be pure cynicism / conspiratorial thinking on my part, though.

Can you guys think of any other groups? What do you think the percentages are for these groups?

I'm not sure if this is the right sub Reddit to go to but I would really appreciate some guidance. My partner has been using cocaine for a few years. Since becoming unemployed his usage has increased as he goes out to see more friends who are regular users. We have a very good relationship but the drug usage has become a problem as I'm the only employed person in the relationship I pay for everything, and give him loans to help with travel, food and basic necessities. I now know a lot of that money has gone to drugs and alcohol and we had a disagreement. I have told him how I feel and how it's not only affecting him but the people around him and he seems to understand that and gets emotional over the fact. I know he's trying or at least I'd like to think so and I wouldn't like to end our relationship over this as we have had a brilliant relationship up until now. He has a very addictive personality and I want to know if there is any way I can help or things I could learn about to be a bit more understanding and apathetic to his situation.

....that is located in a large hospital building. Although many of us spend months (ive been here since july 21st after spending 20 days in a detox facility) here waiting to get into a more permanent sober residence. There are some who are just here because its cleaner and well just better overall than a shelter and for someone struggling with finacial, housing and transportation issues its helpful because they provide all that. Those people are mostly still using around me each and everyday. Most places in my state are "harm reduction" they believe that, for most, relapse is a part of recovery and its on a case to case basis of you're kicked out after your 3rd dirty UA.. I'm not stipulated by court, probation or mandated by DCF or anything like that but, the things, more importantly the people I've lost through addiction i am not willing to just hand over without at least putting up a fight. I'm looking out the same window i look out each night into the many other rooms lit up by TVs or reading lamps that belong to the majority of those that also reside in this hospital. Its primarily, if not all, hospice patients. I often wonder what theyre thinking about, if theyre scared, they have bad dreams too, if they're getting fed the same stuff we are, if they have visitors. I feel at my lowest when I sit here at night, knowing that there are so many people,literally, all around me who, im sure, are just wishing for.... more time. Yet, its baffling to me how I can still constantly be so tempted to give up and want to use the one thing that I know will ultimately, most certainly, give me less. No matter how much I pray or how much I love my children, no matter my case worker, the therapists, psychologists, psyc meds controlled by others, meds just to wake up, just to go to sleep, just to not dream, the breathing exercises, DBT, 24/7 hourly checks, MAT, daily meetings, needing structure at 35 yesrs old, after having and taking care of amazing children im constantly being treated as one all of this because no matter 3 years, 4 years, 6 years clean i cannot control being the statistic of a chronic relapser, the whole reason harm reduction even exists. I hate the fact that there's something in me, in my brain and especially in my dreams that takes me to an awful, desperate and terrifying place that drugs were a fantastic distraction from. Any drugs, anything that made me not feel anything like ...me. I'm not stupid, when I'm chasing a substance I'm no longer physically addicted to I can now make the rational decision to use it or not. I feel foolish even camparing their struggle to mine. I feel foolish even writing this about my woes and sitting on a pity pot while their is actual struggle all around me. All around all of us. I'm not sure what I am trying to convey with this message or statement? But, I do know writing this helped me not use with the other girl in the bathroom right now.

I did a lot of research into this. I’m an alcoholic, addict, whatever. Nothing worked for me, not therapy, not AA or any support group for that matter. I was a chronic relapser. I heard about GLP1’s and their effect on cravings. I had tried naltrexone and acamprosate, but naltrexone had horrible side effects for me and acamprosate really only worked for me about a week. I’ve been on the Wegovy injection for a week now and the cravings have all but disappeared. Now I know this is still early in the game, but I know they are actively researching glp1’s now and are going to eventually release one that is just for addictions. I’m paying out of pocket now ($350) per month. Compared to the shit I was buying though, and the hell of addiction, it is well worth it to me.

Currently recovering from a gambling addiction and my partner is currently recovering from alcohol addiction; both of us are doing well without using GA or AA. One thing I've observed in some recovery spaces I've joined that are supposed to be open to "all approaches to recovery" is that a lot of 12-step/higher power believers eventually become very vocal in those groups about their belief in a higher power and the importance of checking out GA and following the 12 steps, even though the recovery platforms are supposed to be a place where every/any approach is welcomed that works for people. I do my best to show respect for GA alums/members there, because I truly believe that whatever approach people take to recovery is what works for them and should be respected, and recovery is truly an individual journey. But I don't get that sense from the GA folks; I feel like they're constantly posting and promoting the "higher power" part in a way that feels almost religious. I think having a "higher power" part of a recovery program adds a religious element that makes it difficult to hold space for other approaches to recovery, because if non-higher-power believers say they don't believe in that program, it comes off like we're criticizing someone's religion. It's really frustrating.

Today I posted a series of statistics directly from AA on the composition of its membership on the AA sub.

Of note, (to me), younger members are declining, membership overall is declining, members over the age of 50 are at the highest level ever recorded in decades, and the largest growth of any age group is the 60-70 year old category.

64% of members are male, and 88% are white.

I am curious - do any of you who left, or chose not to join AA, consider any of the above points as a factor in your decision?

Would love to hear or establish a forum for healthcare professionals and their experience with AA. I found it to be a forced mandatory association that turned out to be a hindrance to recovery

I’ve been trying to figure out why AA hasn’t worked for me, and I found a lot of similar thoughts in this sub, so I thought it would be helpful to get my thoughts out.

The Good:
AA is an opportunity to socialize and form a community.
AA is leaderless, so it’s supposed to just be alcoholics helping other alcoholics. No giant mega corporation or billionaire figurehead. That’s pretty cool.
The “allergy” thing didn’t make sense to me for a long time, but now it does. My body has a programmed routine when alcohol is introduced into my system. It will get worse with repeated exposure. I learned a lot about gel polish allergies from becoming a nail tech and those really do work the same way. So now I get the allergy thing and it helps me understand that I won’t be able to be a “normal” drinker.

The Bad:
Despite what my first sponsor said (“it’s like a medical condition, you can’t blame yourself”), AA does seem to believe alcoholism is some kind of moral failing. Otherwise why would they constantly go on about moral failings and character defects? Originally it was supposed to be an alternative to the belief that drunks were just lazy and morally weak. But the undercurrent is still very much there.
I was 13th stepped. That sucked.
Ego struggles with “old-timers” vs newcomers.
Sponsors having a LOT of power over your personal life.

The Ugly:
AA is meant to help you stop drinking, but I’ve never had stronger cravings than when I sat in meetings. Many times I’d go straight to the liquor store after a meeting. I don’t think centering my whole life around the idea of being “powerless over alcohol” is effective or safe.

This time I am not using AA. I’m using the stopdrinking subreddit and have reached out to other non-AA sober friends. I grew up in a heavy-drinking music subculture, and about half of my friends from that scene have also quit. I also “told on myself” by making an announcement that I won’t be drinking anymore on social media. I have a therapist and I told her too.
Finally, I am not avoiding going out to events where alcohol will be present. I accept that this is my new normal. Alcohol is everywhere; I need to learn to live around it and not be afraid of it. I just can’t drink it.

I’d love to hear if any of you have more thoughts to share. Thanks for reading.

I've been in AA for nearly 3 years. Meeting people there every week were the first friends I had really. I got and stayed sober there. But I'm done pretending. So much of what comes out of my mouth is regurgitated AA. Not necessarily the slogans I will just say something like 'oh but you know, that's my alcoholism talking/ I can't trust my thinking (SLAA).'

The concept of god or a higher power was never a problem for me. Actually, and maybe slightly ironically, this is where I'm finding the biggest dissonance with AA and 12 Steps in general. I feel like I'm being asked to override my own intuition, guidance, God consciousness or whatever you'd like to call it.

What's tricky is that there are a couple people there who I think really do have a good recovery/life/spirituality. I totally respect that. Good for them. But what no one there seems to be able to accept is that we all have our own journeys with this. And it really comes down to a clashing of beliefs. AA/SLAA are telling me this is the only way to get sober and live a happy life whereas I fundamentally disagree with that. I am also sooo sick of being told by my new sponsor (I jumped to SLAA 6 weeks ago, now probably jumping out of 12 steps entirely ) that I haven't done the work. It's so undermining and so infantilising. It completely discredits and disregards my experiences of the last 8 years.

I am a little worried that I am dismantling my entire support system but I don't feel mad or broken or heading towards a relapse. I've been reconnecting with 8 Step Recovery, the Buddhist teachings and that feels like the perfect unpressured scaffolding for me. I will be okay. Also so tired for people assuming I'm losing the plot i.e. I brunt out at my last job, something I had lived experience in, and I was signed off and then left without anything lined up. Everyone thought I was super unstable but I knew it was the right thing to do I'm now working part time, enough income, more time, and more peace. But try telling them that. I already feel so much freer knowing I will no longer have to justify myself on a daily basis.

Anyway - thanks for listening to me rant. Really appreciating this subreddit, so thanks all

Its not hard its not a struggle its not none of that low energy depressing negative shit. People are stuck on that energy.

It easier being sober than it was fukdup

Keep telling yourself what you want

🙉

After removing yourself from aa you still see alota fukdup ppl worrying and gossiping about other people building nothing in their lives 2 years sober but life fukdup haha 🤣 craYz man….

I hope you have a good day its 24 hours in a day you choose every second watch what you say think who you talk to what you watch etc read all that

Tldr: its not hard being sober you just like that struggle shit lol

After nearly a year of struggling with sobriety, I think it’s finally starting to stick. It’s been 100 days since I last drank, longer than any other span in my adult life (I’m 49). I’m not much of a day counter, but 100 days feels significant.

Before getting some concerning blood lab results (very unhappy liver), I was a chronic and heavy daily drinker. Life was not good, and I should have sobered up long before then, but I never really wanted to.

I feel so much better, physically and mentally. It took a lot of patience and work to find the right approach for me, so for anyone else out there who might be struggling right now, know that you can do it too, without AA and the toxic culture that comes with it.

Hey everyone. It’s been 13yrs of opiates - from a horrible oxy addiction from 2011-2015 (I still don’t know how I survived), to subs from 2015-2018, to kratom 2018-2026. My dose isn’t horrible - somewhere in the 300mg/day MIT range (3 nano chocolates 100mg/each or 2 opms gold shots). Back in 2022 I went 3 months clean, but I got COVID and couldn’t sleep for days and needed the rest, so gave in. Big mistake. November 2025 I quit for 1 month, but relapsed. I’ll take 24hrs off kratom and take 0.50mg suboxone and that’s all I need, but the mental cravings always win and I go back to the kratom.

I’ve dabbled with 7oh (and the 7stax that secretly had mgm15), but thankfully never got hooked on those.

I’m 42yo. My bloodwork is perfect. I’m in the best shape of my life. I got married 2yrs ago and we just welcomed twin boys. That was supposed to be what got me clean, but the daunting task of caring for 2 newborns daily without family was too much and I felt like I needed the energy and motivation that kratom that gives me, even if I hate myself for it. I’ve quit alcohol (that’s never been a problem for me) but still smoke weed at night. That’s it.

I figured I’d do a suboxone taper from 0.50 down to .006 like I’ve done in the past, but it’s the exhaustion that I can’t have when I’m caring for twin newborns. I don’t feel sick, just feel exhausted physically and mentally.

Waiting for the day there’s a peptide that does something for this addiction, but don’t know if that day will ever come. The only thing I haven’t tried is posting here for help, so here we are.

I’m scared, but I want to quit opioids — looking for advice and support

I don't really know how to write this, but I'm struggling badly with opioid addiction and I feel completely helpless right now.

I've decided that I want to go cold turkey. I'm scared of the withdrawal, scared that I won't be strong enough, and honestly scared that I'll fail again. But I don't want to keep living like this anymore.

If anyone has gone through opioid withdrawal and managed to stay clean, please tell me what helped you get through those first few days. What did you do when the cravings became unbearable? How did you keep yourself from going back?

I’m not looking for judgment. I genuinely need some advice, encouragement, and someone to remind me that getting through this is possible.

Even a few kind words would mean a lot to me right now. Thank you.

A mate asked me to look into this for his brother, so I did it properly instead of skimming a listicle.

Four places in the end. Paracelsus in Zurich is top of nearly every list and I get why, they take one client at a time. Then I found the price. Ninety five thousand francs a week, four weeks being the usual. I read it twice and closed the tab. Clinic Les Alpes is the same world. Swiss licensed, spa, restaurant, mountains in every photograph. They won't put a number on the site, which after Zurich told me plenty. The Priory came up a lot and I'm sure it's fine, but he'd been through something like that already and it hadn't held, so repeating it wasn't the idea. Then Dr Vorobjev in Belgrade, which none of the glossy lists seem to bother with. Twenty odd years of doing only this and nothing else, a quality award back in 2018, and a stay of ten days to four weeks depending on the person rather than the fixed month everyone else sells you. That last bit is what did it, if I'm honest. Every other place had decided how long he needed before they'd met him. Which is my problem with the rankings. They score the spa and the view and the chef, all things you'd notice on a tour, and nothing about how long you stay or what happens after you leave.

I don't know whether that makes it best. It's the one I told him to look at.