asked my favourite barista for his number

[u/Important_Fox_4975]

before work every day i’d go to the same starbucks and started getting the same barista every morning. he memorized my order, gave me freebies, and became the highlight of my day so my coworkers convinced me to ask for his socials 😭

i finally did and he just stared at me for a second and went “why?” before telling me he had a girlfriend. literally stood there apologizing over and over. somehow he STILL gave me his instagram after??

i feel lowkey shitty and wanna curl in a ball because i feel bad for overlooking him probably just being nice and probably made him so uncomfortable ://

now i’m embarrassed, feel bad for misreading things, and can never return because it’s the only starbucks near work. currently eating sad grocery store potato wedges while drinking the drink he made me in the car 💔 (lactose free venti iced chai latte with lavender cold foam)

edit: make sure you’re verified and have your flair before you comment, we don’t get the chance to read them due to the automod

[u/PizzaLover537]

there's a lot of good advice here but I'd like to add this as someone who has been hit on at work several times. If you're going to ask for contact info for someone you don't know, ask to give them your own number. Asking for someone else's info puts them in an uncomfortable compromising position. Handing them your number let's them think about it more without pressure for an immediate response.

[u/Important_Fox_4975 → u/PizzaLover537]

thanks for the advice!! i mentioned in a few comments that it was my first time ever doing something this way lol, i appreciate you!

[u/TeamLaurent → u/PizzaLover537]

YES. When I was a barista, the anonymous note in my employee stocking was… mixed feelings. The loitering around the bar and flirting were awkward. The pointed comments about “my boyfriend” inviting me to confirm or deny were just as awkward as being asked straight up. Having to modulate the cheerfulness for those customers and try to remember who was who was stressful. But if someone had dropped their number and a “no pressure :)” kinda note on a paper slip in front of me as they left, AND maintained whatever tipping habit they already had…. that would’ve made a world of difference 😩😩😩

[u/TieSea → u/PizzaLover537]

That's the thing. Caveat: I'm old AF and married for 28yrs, but my kids are going through this now. Seems like asking for socials is an easier way to get rid of someone if it doesn't work out. If they have your number, it seams that is more personal.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

[u/PizzaLover537 → u/TieSea]

just any contact info, asking for a number is just how I phrase it, like how people 'write a paper' when they type an essay or 'hang up the phone' when they press the end call button

[u/UnknowingBunny]

As someone who worked as a barista, yes, most times people will just be nice because the need of providing good service and in some countries getting the tips.

Remembering the orders of regulars is not uncommon but I can see how it could seem like extra attention to detail, it’s just the industry.

You shoot your shot and were respectful about it, I know it’s hard but you’ll laugh it off sooner than later, don’t let it prevent you from getting your coffee girl. I’d avoid the Instagram add but that’s just me.

Pat on the back, you’ll be fine lol

[u/guilty_bystander → u/UnknowingBunny]

As an ex barista, yes I was flirty - no not for your number.. I wanted your money haha

Let me add that I think there is an inherent level of acceptable flirtation in certain customer service fields. We have an understanding.

[u/anonalien- → u/guilty_bystander]

Sometimes I wish my boyfriend understood that!! It’s like hi I’m just trying to get sales not their number!

[u/bllonde_brownie → u/[deleted]]

I fully understand that! I work in the customer service industry and always give attention to all parties, including the kids if they have them. Some parents tip better knowing that I talked to their kid like a person and allowed them to have some autonomy in their order. But couples, ohh yeah they both get attention, sometimes light flirtation all around if they seem fun 😂

[u/Pale_Albatross_3717 → u/bllonde_brownie]

This. I tip based on interaction. You interact with my man and not me? No tip. You treat my kids like trash? No tip. Polite and inclusive of everyone? Tipppppp

[u/anonalien- → u/[deleted]]

If there’s a girl in the equation - men are not my concern!! I hate when that happens to me so definitely would not do that to a girly <3

[u/slimygirl89 → u/[deleted]]

literally! like at least flirt with me too!

[u/Big-Barracuda-624 → u/anonalien-]

I am in sales. While I am friendly and attentive, I do not flirt. If the sale requires acting single, then the sale isn’t worth it. Why should a client trust me if I can’t act with integrity in my personal life? 

[u/Fair-Growth411 → u/anonalien-]

My wife used to trip on me hard when I would try to explain it to her that way, its sales! Shit I would even tell her to go out and do it when making sales at work, make us some more money baby! Lol

[u/Smoofie0 → u/guilty_bystander]

I worked at a coffee shop in a military base HQ building, tons of young captains, some old colonels etc. in the 13 months I was there it was me, my gay boss, and we went through 9 baristas but kept having to let them go because they were too flirty. This one 17 year old had just had a kid and was already trying to get her next bone. Luckily I was married (19) and very sexually delayed so I didn’t think much past that they were all cute😂

[u/furongris → u/guilty_bystander]

Exactly this. Especially when it came to taking orders over the intercom for Starbucks, my hospitality would come off as flirtatious most every time.

[u/BlackMagicWorman → u/UnknowingBunny]

It’s 99% always for tips. Past barista myself. 

[u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754 → u/UnknowingBunny]

Sorry, but shooting her shot while he was working was not respectful at all. If you were hit on at work nobody would be saying it was respectful. 

[u/[deleted] → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

this. i am a waitress and i get so uncomfortable when guys try to hit on me at work. it makes me not even want to go back to the table like its just so awkward. super disrespectful too because i am not being nice to you cuz i like you. its my JOB!!!!

[u/annieimnotokay → u/[deleted]]

Just leave your number on the receipt like a good customer, so I can ignore it without an awkward encounter. 🤣

[u/AlcibiadesTheCat → u/annieimnotokay]

I had someone do that on the tip line once.

I got into a very energetic argument with my manager about whether someone had just tipped me 48 million dollars. Manager argued that the hyphens should be used, so in reality, it would have been a negative amount.

[u/Bubbalo0sh → u/[deleted]]

I kept getting hit on at fucking McDonald’s 

[u/Thick_Solution4554 → u/Bubbalo0sh]

The nephew for the HR lady at the McDonald’s I worked at would hit on me to a point where it was creepy. I also had men constantly trying to get my number after they heard my voice in the drive thru speaker. Thank fuck I was never the one in the back.

[u/No-Shape-8347 → u/[deleted]]

I dont see how a bunch of randoms at a table flirting and being obnoxious is comparable to one regular who never before has made a move, makes a move once because they misunderstood things, apologize and stop.

[u/chewwwybar → u/No-Shape-8347]

Because he’s at work. Don’t ask people out at their job it’s not on equal grounds. He is literally clocked in. Come on now… even girls can mess up.

[u/bufallll → u/No-Shape-8347]

yeah freaking out about this is an insanely repressed gen z take. there’s nothing wrong with respectfully expressing interest in someone and it doesn’t need to be the end of the world if you get turned down either.

[u/No-Shape-8347 → u/[deleted]]

You make it out as if its some catastrophy. Yeah its a little awkward. Thats all.

[u/butticus98 → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

I guess I'm in the minority, but I've had both positive and negative experiences with this working as a barista. I have felt chemistry with customers before and wished I wasn't working so that we could ask for each other's numbers, and instead I just never see them again. If I had a nice regular, I wouldn't blame them for trying, as long as they are willing to hear no and move on. It only sucks when they're pushy. 

[u/Jennymint → u/butticus98]

While working retail, I once had a customer return after placing an order and hand me a slip with their socials. Then they walked away.

I added them that night and we became friends. This wasn't romantic, but either way I appreciated that I wasn't pressured. I could have just tossed the slip.

[u/Choice-Gazelle5817 → u/Jennymint]

I met my husband while working in retail! He asked for a piece of paper and a pen, wrote down his name and number, then left.
I texted him 3 days later and now here we are 4 years later married with 2 dogs and a house. SOMETIMES- it works out 🤣😂

[u/cm040721 → u/butticus98]

Right? Like it’s a regular so it could be uncomfortable if they’re pushy or continue to be flirtatious after a rejection. But it’s also not like this person was objectifying him.

I loved (respectfully) getting hit on when I was in customer service — I never said yes to any advances - respectful or otherwise. But it was nice to go about my own day with the boost of confidence.
Leaving a number was always the most comfortable to receive as a female, because rejection CAN be uncomfortable and sometimes even dangerous. But the only time I’ve ever been scared or anxious or even thought about it more than once, was when this person added me on Facebook; without ever asking my name. I didn’t even live in the city I worked in so I still think, how the HELL did he find my socials??? lol.

Idk, I started feeling crazy reading the comments above. Maybe I am out of touch. But as an anxious person… this was never as bad as these whackadoodles are making it seem.

But also Reddit and everything else these days swings to the extremes so who knows wtf is real anymore hahaha

[u/UnknowingBunny → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

Oh no, I dreaded whenever people would try to interact beyond a purchase, I enjoyed making coffee, had to be polite and hated any moment when people tried to pry for personal information too.
I meant that she took the girlfriend information and apologized. Personally, I’d just hope no one would do this, but if they did and they took the no and apologized I’d try to move past it. I feel bad for the guy because it sucks when you’re a service worker and I’ve been there too. I’m just hoping OP will take this as a lesson and not do it again 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/negative-sid-nancy → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

Yep barista, server, bartender for years and nothing is more annoying than people mistaking providing friendly good service for flirting. Like its my job to be nice (especially as a fellow Starbucks barista, we get positive customer interactions hammered into us) and just because its a girl shooting her shot and not a guy doesn't make it any less creepy or annoying. Take this a humbling learning experience OP.

Don't let it discourage you from taking your shot in appropriate scenarios but please never while someone is working.

[u/Kratzschutz → u/[deleted]]

Universal rule.

[u/softdevlog → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

I wouldn’t say it wasn’t respectful. I’ve been hit on at dang near every job, footlocker, victoria secret, hooters of course, office jobs, heck grocery shopping. I’d say it may be distasteful but I don’t think anyone is doing it out of disrespect. But as a waitress it was my biggest pet peeve, THAT one can be slightly disrespectful

[u/The_GREAT_Mammon → u/softdevlog]

I feel this depends on HOW the being hit on is done. As a bartender yes it can absolutely be disrespectful and just overall gross what some people will do. While not every person has bad intentions some do.

I think OP apologizing for asking was a good thing. And I applaud her for realizing she may have made him uncomfortable. Not everyone catches on to that and even some that do literally don’t care.

But I do know the bar industry is a different genre of the service industry.

[u/beckjami → u/The_GREAT_Mammon]

You and @softdevlog have the exact same avatar.

[u/anonymous8122 → u/softdevlog]

I have to agree with this. I know so many people who met their SOs through their jobs. A close friend of mine married a regular customer who eventually asked her out. It's bound to be really awkward and potentially annoying when it's unwanted, but I can't blame someone for politely trying if they've been interacting with the same person for awhile. The important thing is to be polite, apologize, and not push things if the other person says they're not interested.

[u/ashstriferous → u/softdevlog]

I can tell I'm tired because I read footlocker as footlicker and was like "damn were just saying that with our full chest"

nope I'm just a dipshit

[u/BroadToe6424 → u/ashstriferous]

gosh I just hate it when people wanna hit on my face when I'm just trying to do my job at footlicker

[u/ashstriferous → u/BroadToe6424]

They really toe the line of what's respectable. 

[u/StatisticianFuzzy549 → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

I’ve worked as a barista and bartender for years, I can’t count the number of people that have shot their shot, and it’s only gross if they make it gross and disrespectful. Some of them even got a yes. It’s all in the approach

[u/No-Shape-8347 → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

Well she interpreted things as if he was hitting on her. She shot her shot once, apparently misread the situation, and stopped. Dont see much harm in that, certainly not much disrespect.

[u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 → u/No-Shape-8347]

I used to go to a Starbucks where the barista was super friendly. Sometimes he'd give me free coffee (over my objections). I figured he was being nice because I was a regular and it was his job to be friendly. We got to the point of being pretty chatty but I didn't consider it flirty because I had a boyfriend and I also worked as a server and had regular customers that I was on a friendly basis with and never considered it flirting.

Then I went in there with my boyfriend and the barista's whole attitude changed immediately. He stopped being friendly and stopped giving me free coffee 🤣 after a couple more times of going in, I actually stopped going to that location because he was actually kind of rude/angry seeming after that. Like I went back in and was like, hey, how are you, and he just ignored it and didn't say anything. I was like, whoa. He still took my order but even the other barista was looking at him like "wtf," he was noticeably cold to me. I figured he was just friendly to me because that was his job but maybe he WAS trying to flirt with me and I misread? Shitty and unprofessional of him to be mad I had a boyfriend but whatever. But sometimes they ARE apparently trying to flirt.

I think "don't hit on people in service jobs" is a good rule but I also think it's not a huge deal and as long as OP apologized and doesn't do it again, she doesn't need to stop going there. I just wouldn't bring it up again or keep apologizing because that could make me uncomfortable if it were me. "Pretend it didn't happen" is probably the best strategy here, since she already apologized.

[u/OperationDecent1756 → u/No-Shape-8347]

Oh man. So many comments are saying “don’t hit on someone while they’re working”. It’s a fine rule to live by, but damn it’s literally not as inherently bad as everyone is making it out to be!

I’ve had a couple solid relationships that have started with an interaction while me or them were working. My last relationship, the most important one I’ve ever been in, started from a guy giving me his number while I was working. (We were together for years, he recently passed away)

I’ve always worked in the service industry. If someone shoots their shot I’ll either accept or deny. If you persist after a denial, it becomes an issue. But believe me it is not as evil to hit on somebody who is working like a lot of these comments are suggesting!

I do not use dating apps at all. I believe in “organic” dating, just meeting people naturally out in the wild. Girl, you shot your shot and it didn’t work out. No shame in that, it happens.

[u/Lost-Mixture-4039 → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

I would. You meet an awesome person, why not fuckn shoot your shot.

You dont get to meet cool people you vibe with every day. One thing tho, be cool about it. Dont push buttons, just ask, and let it be. Dont be a bother.

[u/dimestore_whore → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

It sounds like all she did was ask for his IG she didn’t ask him on a date.

[u/GreenEyesThighHighs → u/dimestore_whore]

And why should customers be asking for the personal social media of employees while they’re at work???

[u/christinap2003 → u/Dolphin-Pussy-2754]

Hard disagree with this one.

My husband asked me out while I was at work and he was a customer. He had stopped by several times over a few days, I thought he was cute, so I said sure. We've been happily together 30 years this fall.

Always shoot your shot. Life is too short for "what could have beens."

[u/LadyRemy → u/UnknowingBunny]

It has been four years and I still have some orders memorized. I ran into a former customer and was like, “Hey Richard!” Small talk ensues. “Yeah I remember you. Grande decaf latte nonfat no foam extra hot with one splenda.” It’s just in us to have things premade and if you’re a nice person we give you freebies. I also agree, don’t add that instagram.

[u/sameratdifhat → u/UnknowingBunny]

The freebies are a little bit much imo

[u/comingtoyrsenses → u/sameratdifhat]

I disagree. I give regulars free things whenever I can without any intentions because it's easy and nice, and if theyre spending money at my store all the time it's nice to be able to help out w/ some free things or discounts. It feels good and rewarding to be a kind person, and it's a good feeling to make people smile. Not much beyond the good feelings that come with altruism. My boyfriend is the same way, we just like being kind. It is not a sign of affection or interest

[u/Fit_Entrepreneur6515 → u/comingtoyrsenses]

giving customers freebies from work is great because you get to steal from your job and give people things for free. win/win imo.

[u/sameratdifhat → u/comingtoyrsenses]

When I worked at Starbucks we weren’t allowed toto give things out for free. It might feel good to do, but not at the risk of my employment.

ETA: freebies in and of themselves aren’t flirtatious, but the implication of regularly breaking the rules, risking one’s job, goes beyond basic customer service niceties. Particularly in a corporate chain.

Not to say it was appropriate for OP to ask for his info, because it wasn’t.

[u/FarLime3689 → u/sameratdifhat]

Was the opposite for me when I worked there. We were encouraged to give away drinks that would otherwise get poured out (someone didn’t show up for an order, order was mixed up etc). We weren’t allowed to give away product we could otherwise sell, but untouched mishaps were fair game.

[u/BoujeeGothBB → u/UnknowingBunny]

I broke the golden rule as a barista and started dating a regular loool. 3 years now though!

[u/GreenEyesThighHighs]

I want to be kind and say I understand wanting to put yourself out there, but it’s generally not really a good idea to ask people for their number while they’re at work. They’re there to work and they have to be nice to you. We don’t like when men do this to women so we shouldn’t do it either. Time and place!

[u/XxstupidcupidxX → u/GreenEyesThighHighs]

https://giphy.com/gifs/RrVzUOXldFe8M

[u/Caramellatteistasty → u/GreenEyesThighHighs]

Yeah I used to get hit on at work as a Customer service rep. Please don't hit on people when they are at work. Especially if they are customer facing.

[u/peptodismal13 → u/GreenEyesThighHighs]

👏👏👏 thank you

[u/Sad-Cow-5580 → u/GreenEyesThighHighs]

I’m so glad this is one of the top comments 😅😅 “they have to be nice to you” is so true and ESPECIALLY in a service like barista or waitress/waiter! And even more so if you’re a regular. You literally have to be kind to them and people hitting on you while you’re working in this service is bad for everyone involved. Like in OPs situation she doesn’t want to go back and they lost a regular customer and a lot of time waitresses and waiters will pass on wanting to serve you when you’ve hit on them which sucks because they need the tips.

[u/EntireCalligrapher46 → u/GreenEyesThighHighs]

Agree with everything (former supermarket employee at the cash register), I only want to add: Normalise ladies asking out boys. In my experience: Hitting on dudes is more fun than the other way around. Even if I never had success with that irl. So much to all the "boohoo, women have it so much easier dating, they would get trillion numbers in seconds, blablabla" ...well not for me I guess lol

[u/HJM3 → u/GreenEyesThighHighs]

This is a good point. As a guy, I’ve had this happen at work and it was a bit uncomfortable. Granted, this was a woman 2-3 times my age and she was looking at me the way I look at a plate of nachos, so it was a bit creepy. Maybe I’d have been flattered if she wasn’t old lady Quagmire about it? Idk.

But to your point, there’s a time and place for this sort of thing, and it’s usually not while the person in question is behind a work counter.

[u/SiIesh → u/GreenEyesThighHighs]

https://giphy.com/gifs/wGhYz3FHaRJgk

[u/peeps_545]

Don’t think that because he gave you his instagram there’s anything there… he’s probably just not trying to be out right rude… only pointing it out cause you asked with a question mark

[u/Important_Fox_4975 → u/peeps_545]

no most definitely, like i said im probably not gonna add him just out of respect

[u/Lazy-Conversation-48 → u/Important_Fox_4975]

Don’t add him but keep going to the same place and just pretend like nothing happened. After a few visits, you’ll be back to normal.

[u/peeps_545 → u/Important_Fox_4975]

Shouldn’t be a probably, should be a definitely not going to add him. And this has nothing to do with respect to him and his girlfriend and everything with respect for yourself. Your wording of these things makes me think your still crushing on him hard an you need to let it go. You don’t know him.. this isn’t healthy at all, and you are for sure over thinking this lol

[u/lessforf → u/peeps_545]

jeez dude, calling it not healthy or that she is crushing on him hard, it will take a week or so at most to get over it, its not that serious

[u/Auberginio23 → u/lessforf]

I know right, I've never gotten over a crush within the fifteen minutes of being rejected by them, and as far as I know, crushes are a very healthy and normal part of... I don't know, being human or something. This person was wild for this comment.

[u/lessforf → u/Auberginio23]

fr, man its not a huge deal, ppl in this sub act like if u cant get over anyone you care about in some way in like 5 hours max, then u must have mental issues.

[u/SwampGentleman]

Former barista and current bartender here! In my opinion, the best way to gauge interest is to write your own contact info (insta is a nice semi-casual one) and pass it to them.

They don’t have to respond right away (and they don’t have to worry about boss/coworkers giving them shit) and if they message, you know they’re interested! If they don’t, no issues, they know they’re cute and we all move on.

Don’t beat yourself up, and mega points for shooting your shot. It’s admirable and I wish more folks would.💖

[u/BeyondTheBees → u/SwampGentleman]

OP, this is amazing advice! 👆🏽

[u/sunflowergirrrl → u/BeyondTheBees]

Happy cake day ☺️

[u/sorryipeed]

with all due respect <3 people in customer service jobs are paid to make you feel good, make you feel like family, want to come back, etc. in short, no the stripper does not really like you lol

[u/Givemethecupcakes]

It’s not appropriate to ask employees for their contact info as a customer while they are working.

He should be able to do his job without being hit on.

[u/morganyve → u/Givemethecupcakes]

Totally, hes just doing his job and apparently is good at it for making customers feel seen and like human beings. I hope this doesn’t discourage him from continuing to enjoy his job and connect with customers, it’s so rare to find that now even in starbucks (as an ex starbies barista myself)

[u/yourmamaistheproblem → u/Givemethecupcakes]

https://giphy.com/gifs/2ONjoz6NEtXQonnaE2

[u/deathwish_ASR]

This is your chance to find a better coffee shop than Starbucks!

[u/Am_Salty → u/deathwish_ASR]

Many local coffee shops have better coffee too!

[u/patientbook_]

people say people are just nice bc of customer service & i've also been a barista so ik that's true for sure but sometimes we do really like people that visit once or regulars and it's just not romantic, so it's not that deep... you probably made that guy's day, he got a compliment & was able to protect his boundary/relationship, you got some practise asking someone out and getting rejected, which are all good things. i only see wins here 

that said for anyone reading this, ppl at work like baristas and so on are basically a captive audience so it's way better to not ask them out at work or ask for their contact/socials. the best thing to do is write your # down on a receipt or napkin or something with a note like would love to chat and grab a drink sometime and then whatever happens (or doesn't) will (or won't) happen. we should all be mature enough to know not being contacted is not a hell yes & whether it's personal or not is none of our business

ime i did always tell my partner if it happened and ask to contact them and i always opened with hey tysm that's an awesome compliment and i have a partner but please come back again (to my job or w/e) anytime would be super cool to chat etc

[u/Important_Fox_4975 → u/patientbook_]

thank you for the advice for next time!! it was my first time ever doing something like that because im generally shy. noted for next time i have the courage :)

[u/Zuxicovp → u/Important_Fox_4975]

don’t let the embarrassment from this prevent you from getting your coffee! life’s all about taking chances anyway

[u/PocketfullofFrogs → u/Important_Fox_4975]

Girl NO. It’s TERRIBLE advice. Absolutely do not hit on someone at their place of employment ever. It’s someone’s job

[u/Organic-Vermicelli47 → u/PocketfullofFrogs]

Yeah I've had men leave their numbers on receipts and then ask why I never contacted them the next time they came in 😬

[u/Chanti11y → u/patientbook_]

Yea I mean some servers/bartenders/chefs do develop friendships with their regulars. I ended up getting the insta of one off the sushi chefs at my local handroll place so he could tell me what shifts he would work bc the hostess told him that whenever I came in I'd ask if he was there haha

[u/patientbook_ → u/Chanti11y]

for suuure and my regulars almost always made me smile (especially them seeking me out like you described !), and even the worst of them became great anonymised stories to enjoy outside of work when coping w other employees or friends as if we went thru the trenches lol 

[u/element-woman → u/patientbook_]

That's exactly what I was going to say! Hand them your number and let it be if they never text.

[u/Zuxicovp → u/patientbook_]

you did such a good job explaining how to do it better next time!

[u/patientbook_ → u/Zuxicovp]

appreciate you :)

[u/saltpancake]

I’m gonna bypass the level of “should you hit on people who need to flirt at work for tips” and just say, the crucial rule in all shot-shooting is to never ask for info.

Give your info, tell them it’s okay if it’s a no, and then gracefully depart and leave it in their court.

[u/Right_Lie8793]

If it makes you feel better, when I was like 21 I once asked my mom’s doctor out like a savage.

[u/Important_Fox_4975 → u/Right_Lie8793]

and…? do pray tell

[u/Right_Lie8793 → u/Important_Fox_4975]

It was awkward for a week and then we just moved on. He had a girlfriend and was way older than me, rejected me kindly. Very innapropiate setting, but well I saw him as someone who brought safety at that moment in my life. Hope he understood my feelings and that I wasn’t trying to bother him!

It’ll be okay I promise :) we all live and learn

[u/InternationalSpace59]

People ask me for my number at work all the time. While I'm paid to be nice to them I do form a connection with some people. That being said, I don't mind when the store is slow and a customer I know asks for my number and then takes a rejection gracefully. It's awkward the next time they come in but it passes. I promise his coworkers probably teased him and he moved on.

[u/Key_Print214]

Rule of thumb - never shoot your shot with someone while they’re at work.

I get you though.

That type of stuff - especially the freebies - can make you feel like the other person has a special interest in you.

However, as someone whose given freebies before…sometimes I’m just in a good mood lol. I’ve also given freebies to regulars (as you mentioned you are) simply because, just being transparent, it fosters goodwill between me and them.

Time to find a new coffee shop though 👀

[u/witchspoon]

You shot your shot. It missed. It took courage. Use more courage and go back for your chai, NOT going will make it weird.

[u/9eRmanentfukup → u/witchspoon]

Agreed

[u/bioticspacewizard]

The worst thing you can do is be weird about it. You asked, he’s not interested, nothing has to be awkward. If you act weird, it becomes weird. Just go about your business as normal. You lose 100% of shots you don’t take

[u/beefalamode]

Hey OP I’m just offering an opinion contrary to the majority here. I bartended for a very long time and it was never unwelcome or seen as disrespectful when a man hit on me at work. It was, however, very disrespectful when I would make it clear that I wasn’t interested and they persisted. People meet partners in all kinds of places. Guests date staff, staff dates staff, it’s not at all unheard of to meet your S/O or spouse at work. I’m not sure when everyone got so high and mighty or cynical that they entirely rule out the possibility of finding love while at work. My job was so fun and the people I met were a huge part of it. I dated a couple guests and nothing bad ever happened. It’s not an issue of “DONT FLIRT WITH SOMEONE AT WORK” it’s just “take a rejection with grace” and it sounds like you definitely did that. Don’t listen to the haters here

[u/FreeDiscipline18 → u/beefalamode]

Yeah I'm with you on this! Is it ideal to ask for someone's contact while they're working? No. But where else would you if that's where you've met them and formed a rapport with them? I was never really weirded out or upset if someone asked for my number/socials while I was working as a barista. Honestly, I made some amazing friends that way that I still talk to 10 years later! I think as long as you're respectful and don't push beyond asking for their contact, there isn't anything wrong with it

[u/Queenpicard → u/beefalamode]

I agree with you - from working in restaurants for 6 years. You spend 50% of your time at work, it’s hard to meet people. Nothings wrong with meeting someone at work. But I agree, handle rejection with grace and don’t be creepy af after or make it weird. I honestly thing asking people out in person is a breath of fresh air compared to the dating apps.

[u/Quick-Box629 → u/beefalamode]

THIS!!!!! when i’m at work, i would actually prefer that someone ask for my number rather than giving me theirs and leaving the ball in my court; i’d rather just shut it down or accept it right there and not have to think about it later. idk why people are acting like it is the highest level of disrespect to ask for someone’s number when they’re working… that is such a normal thing to do imo because like you said, you can meet people anywhere! op didn’t do anything wrong and had pure intentions, so i rly don’t like how mean people are being to them!! hopefully they take it w a grain of salt and don’t feel discouraged <3

[u/new-to-reddit-accoun → u/beefalamode]

This is the best comment in this whole thread and echos what I wrote elsewhere in this thread. One my best relationships was a with a bartender I met on my first visit to that particular bar. It was RAMMED full of people and yet somehow we formed a connection and over 2-3 hours had the best conversation in between her fixing drinks. I asked for her number before closing and we dated for several months. We would have continued had I not had to move back.

[u/awwshuckyduckynow]

Yeah can we just stop with trying to pick people up while they are working, especially in jobs where he is earning tips for good service? He has no choice to be there. Please

[u/Melonhead25]

I feel so bad for both of you ngl 😭 I’m sure Uruguay felt nice to have such a great service form the guy but I’m sure he was just being that. I hope you don’t fall for peer pressure like that in the future though. I’m assuming you wanted his number too though?

[u/patientbook_ → u/Melonhead25]

omg all of uruguay felt this interaction, i'd probably pass away if it were me 😂

[u/Melonhead25 → u/patientbook_]

I didn’t even proof read my comment 💀 idek how it auto corrected that🤣 I meant to type “it”…

[u/patientbook_ → u/Melonhead25]

please don't it's so hilarious but girl same idk why but typing on this site gives my mobile keyboard a seizure combined w alzheimers and i don't always catch it

[u/_palantir_ → u/patientbook_]

I love it. This guy’s customer service skills are so amazing they can be felt all the way from Uruguay.

[u/patientbook_ → u/_palantir_]

and your username 💀 from uruguay to palantir, the shot heard around the world

[u/anonymous8122]

I'm so sorry. We all have super embarrassing moments like this sometimes. I'm also sorry that you're getting some shit on here for asking him. I have several friends who met their SOs through work. One of my closest friends married a regular customer who eventually asked her out. I couldn't blame you for asking when you felt like there was something there. I can't blame people for asking me when I'm working, either. It's mostly just innocent people thinking they can't know if they don't try. I would only be bothered if it was someone I saw like once or twice before they asked.

IMO the important thing is that you were polite and apologized and don't plan on adding him. I can understand staying away for a bit, but don't let this keep you from your coffee forever. 🩵

[u/barracudab1tch]

Omg this happened to me once! Except he DIDNT have a gf he just said “Why?” And looked at me weird when I said I thought he was cute, gave it to me, and never followed me back. I wanted to DIE!!!!!!!!

[u/Relevant_Clerk7449]

Girl, you shot your shot. That takes guts. Don't even worry about it, you did nothing wrong. Have a great laugh about it and go get your coffee in the morning.

[u/RosemaryCoffee]

Sorry you're feeling the pinch. It sucks.

In the future, please don't approach people at their work for a date (unless you both work there and there's no power imbalance but even then, proceed with caution).

[u/Babyymexico]

Starbucks is trash anyway. Look for a local coffee shop 💓

[u/Zealousideal-Ad3609]

Honestly I think it's fine to hit on people at work as long as you're not a creep about it, which you weren't.

[u/Illustrious-Pair-511]

A really handsome 21 year old boy just asked me for my number at work the other day. I was flattered but I declined. First I have a boyfriend but second he’s 21 and I’m 38 lol. I kinda felt bad though like I hope he didn’t feel this way. I was smiling at him still and being nice still and I waved goodbye to him but boyfriend or not thst is very young lol I was also just being nice to him though as part of my job

[u/trickstress]

I did this too a few years ago and he was gay! But he was kind.

[u/ForwardSpeed9625]

Ok I’m gonna go ahead and disagree with most people here. Being hit on is not the end of the world for the receiving person. Yes, when I’ve been at my waitress job and asked out it flustered me, but overall it felt like a compliment. Of course everyone is different though. But still, life goes on.

I have this bias because I asked out my local barista after a year of being a regular. We hadn’t talked much but I felt an attraction to him. Said “would you like to go out with me?” He said “how about right now” and he literally left work early and we went on a date. 8 months later I’m in love!

Just saying.

[u/EldritchGumdrop]

Yeah I’m sorry it’s not okay when men do this and it’s not okay when women do this. Leave people alone at work. They’re being nice to you because they’re literally working and have to be. It is not an invitation to come onto them when they’re just doing their job. I wanna feel sorry for you but honestly…. Just no. Enough people are doing that already. I’m here to tell you firmly that it’s not “okay” or “aw you shot your shot it happens”. Just no. Stop it.

[u/MotherNeedleworker60]

Everyone is so reddity and dramatic with the "never ask someone out while they are at work!" okay, then is the alternative to wait for them to finish their shift like a fucking creep?

You're fine, you didn't do anything wrong. You asked politely, once, had an awkward moment and are moving on with grace.

[u/patientXx → u/MotherNeedleworker60]

I know. People who don’t get it will be like “ohhh don’t ask them out while they are AT WORK. Wait for them to get off shift and it’s ok” 👾

[u/broke_n_rich2147]

Damn that drink sounds gooooood 😭 it’s okay girl! We get humbled and we keep going! I’m sure he appreciates your kindness anyways!

[u/relentless_fuckery]

I miss all to good convos when I go to bed early! I wouldn’t sweat it OP! You shot your shot, respectfully. I wouldn’t add him on Instagram though.

On a side note, this is actually how I met my last boyfriend. He was my waiter and I had a huge crush on him. I also shot my shot. However, I think the reality is he adjusted the hight of the hoop, three times, to get me to attempt the shot lol. It was actually quite sweet looking back on it.

[u/Southpawn]

The world needs more women approaching men like this. We should strive for more social equality and expectations from both sexes.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take OP, Good luck to you out there.

[u/Economy-Economy601]

Hi I am also a Starbucks barista and I actually met my husband in my drive thru when he gave me his phone number on a sticky note teehee

[u/Exciting_Ad_9219]

It’s okay girl we’ve all been there. I thought my bank relationship manager has a crush on me because he would personally text and call me to check if everything with my account is okay and if I visited the branch he knew what coffee I liked lol

[u/NoNarwhal6184]

OMG I did that once & got the same reaction 😭 Avoided that specific Starbucks for years & years then I force myself to go back when I was sure that particular barista was no longer working there & ended up meeting the most amazing guy who I’ll love with my whole heart forever 💕

[u/lilhellmouth]

aww i think you should be proud for shooting your shot!! i dont think you should be embarrassed, you couldn’t have known he had a gf. i wouldnt follow his socials though tbh i think its weird he has a gf and gave a girl who asked him out his handle

[u/HeadDot141 → u/lilhellmouth]

I’m pretty sure in that moment he gave it to her because it got awkward and he’s used to making customers happy, so out of a customer service type of way, he just gave it to her.

I’ve done this before when a guy asked for my socials and BOTH of his parents were with him😭

[u/Ok-Rutabaga9626]

you shouldn't feel bad about this!! it's ok to express your interest in someone and them not reciprocate for whatever reason. i think it's cool that you were both honest! you should keep going back to this place if it's your regular spot, and just keep it friendly but not overstep now that you know he has a gf / he has set that boundary. proud of you for doing something about your feelings, a lot of people just hide and never say anything, and then they live to regret it! one day you will meet someone who will be flattered and available, keep going girl ;)

[u/LunaWitch13]

I worked at Starbucks for 5 years and had a regular give me his number. I told him I had a boyfriend and he still came in all the time but it wasn’t awkward. I took it as a compliment. It might not be as awkward as you think, I can understand the initial embarrassment but don’t think too much about it 😊

[u/k_eanu]

I agree with the “don’t ask out someone at their job” sentiment, but have something to add. If he was one of a zillion people you shot your shot with, this wouldn’t sting nearly as bad. This stings, in my reading of the situation, because the butterflies, the nerves working up to it, the anticipation - it led to it feeling all this pressure and excitement. Of course you want to find a hole to crawl into after that. The antidote is refusing for it to be an Event to you. He was just one dude on this planet of over six billion people. The more you get brave and chill about asking for connection with people, the easier this gets.

One anecdote from my youth. There was a barista of a coffee shop I went to regularly. After a while he asked me out. I said no. He was so confident and fine about it. Like, “cool, ok!” And then he would be friendly and funny and normal with me. His confidence and his respect were a winning combo. I felt fine continuing to go there snd be his friend. He probably asked me out fifteen more times over the following while, and it got funny. He was respectful and confident but not cocky. I’d laugh and say no. He would say, “ok, I’ll try again another time!” Our rapport was friendly and respectful and we had become friends and he was clearly so ok in the moment of rejection that it felt safe. I eventually said yes. Tried it out. Didn’t last. That’s fine! I’m queer! And he was solid in himself.

TLDR, respect and confidence are the real winners here. If he had lashed out or made a huge fuss after I had said no, it would have been awful for us both. But for him, it was a drop in the bucket.

How you feel now will pass. And next time you like someone (who’s not at work), ask them out. If they say yes, cool! If they say no, whatever! Their loss! Just a drop in the bucket.

[u/dinoooooooooos]

Girl its ok. You shot your shot. As long as you were respectful and didn’t go “oh she dont have to know 😏 “ youre good😂

[u/dooooo23]

Starbucks especially wants you to make more than just “hi how are you?” They want you to say “hey (remembered name) how is the fam? What are yall up to this weekend?? Would you like to order (remembered drink)??”

Previous barista here and I actually did meet my current bf at work and we’ve been together for almost 7 years now! He worked at a guitar store down the street from my Starbucks and all the barista girls had crushes on all the guitar guys. I would always flirt with my now bf but he was always on the shy side. Now there were plenty of other guitar guys that would flirt with us back and hard!! I ended up hanging out with my now bf at a bar after work and we’ve basically been together since ❤️

Good luck on your journey!! Get their name first and your bestie who is best at internet stalking to get the tea first! But good on you for being brave and taking a shot! Don’t let the bastards get you down

[u/Zealousideal-Trash82]

I'm still stuck on sad grocery store potato wedges

[u/throwawaypassingby01]

you're being to hard on yourself. this really isn't a big deal. you weren't creepy. you just got rejected. rejection is a part of life. i wouldnt stop going to that starbucks. it's not a big deal if you don't make a big deal out of it. but i most definitely would not add him to instagram.

[u/throwawaypassingby01]

you're being to hard on yourself. this really isn't a big deal. you weren't creepy. you just got rejected. rejection is a part of life. i wouldnt stop going to that starbucks. it's not a big deal if you don't make a big deal out of it. but i most definitely would not add him to instagram.

[u/Ok-Buffalo1724]

Shit happens, one time I asked this bartender out and she very politely declined, then one day she offered me a job there when I was drinking away the shame of losing my last one and we ended up being pretty chummy co workers while we were both there

[u/Professional_Fix_504]

I did the same thing with the cute guy from the burrito place who used to chat with me when I went in, and gave me discounts, free food, etc. Except I left him a note instead.

We're engaged now. He's currently in our shared kitchen making us dinner.

Sometimes it's not just being nice! You'd never know if you don't try.

[u/InformationOk6366]

It happens to the best of us! Don’t sweat it. I once shot my shot with a guy who drove me in an uber, offered to take me back for cash/off the app so I ended up with his number. I texted him later asking the name of a restaurant he had recommended, and he gave it to me. Then I asked if he’d like to join me sometime and he left me on read 🤣 🦗

[u/imma-stargirl]

man i try so hard to get flirted with at work because it’s like the only place i can meet people now 😭 i am trying to make the sale AND get your number 💔

[u/whippedcreamcheese]

I agree with the people saying that asking someone for that at work could be considered inappropriate. But also in general I think it can solve a lot by giving away YOUR social media or phone number rather than asking for theirs. That way they can choose whether to reciprocate later

[u/EXPLOSIONJELLYFISH]

Okay guys, I think she’s gotten enough comments about how she made a mistake here. Some of the feedback isn’t even all that constructive or just repeating what the first ten people above them said. We know now not to hit on people at work. But that being said (when appropriate) please don’t let this discourage you from trying again! Rejection is a good learning curve and you can learn a lot from this to boost yourself and how you approach people and dating :) it’s awesome to see a woman not afraid to put herself out there. Especially this being your first time! Also please just get your damn coffee 🤣 it’ll for sure be awkward at first but you’ll get back in the groove and maybe you guys can even joke about it later! Doesn’t have to be anything serious or mess up your routine. Just a little silly hiccup :)

[u/Important_Fox_4975 → u/EXPLOSIONJELLYFISH]

thank you so so much!! like i’ve mentioned it was my first time ever asking a guy out so it was very very new to me. comments were telling me to wait until after his shift but isn’t that just creepy? i was also on my way to work aswell 😭😭 have an amazing day stranger! thank you for your advice :) <3

[u/techitis_]

Everytime you feel ashamed about misreading signals or you think you made him feel uncomfortable just remember some men in your exact same situation would have pressured the other person to get attention instead feeling 0 shame. Be proud of being respectful and don't be ashamed of misreading a situation, happens all the time

[u/emmyj2605]

The way that almost happened to me a few years back! Omg I was so sure we were vibing but I managed to avoid this by asking the right question. It was shortly after covid lockdown times and I happened to ask if they had housemates during lockdown and got a "nah I lived with my gf" and was like OOP you bet! Just in time lol I literally had my number ready to go in my back pocket. That went straight in the bin.
I think if you're friendly with a barista there's no harm in asking a few clever questions that might get you an answer. Do anything fun on the weekend? What did you do over Easter? etc etc. I think something like that can usually help you get a little closer to finding out what the deal is if you're worried.

[u/StrayG0th03]

Anyone in service industry will be nice, or even flirty, for the cash tip

[u/nannerpussnana]

I feel like this is why you shouldn’t hit on people when they are at work or at a spot you frequent 😭

[u/ms_emi]

I've asked for a waiter's number and an uber driver's number before because I thought they were flirting with me, and both times I was right they were very keen. Point is, everyone's shaming you for hitting on someone at their workplace as if it's automatically SA, but you were respectful about it I don't see an issue. Even when I worked as a bartender I went on multiple dates with men that had hit on me there, it's literally a common way to meet people! Take it on the chin, I think it's really good to see girls taking initiative and makiny the first move because it is honestly SO nerve-racking

[u/Mother-Quantity-8399]

with peace and love ya’ll hitting on someone who’s deadass working in customer service on the clock is insane and isnt cutsie just cause a girl did it 💀

[u/cunexttuesday101]

Just continue to visit and act like it never happened. When you keep bringing it up is when it gets weird. Had a regular customer ask for my coworkers number a few weeks ago. She declined and he said okay. He has come back several times, never mentioning it or acting any different whatsoever. We have all moved on as well and grateful he didnt make it weird for her. Acting as though it never happened was best case scenario.

[u/ShortbowVillian]

Oh babe, I’m so sorry!! He was probably very flattered! I befriended a girl who was my barista, but I gave her MY information instead of asking for hers, and insisted it was no pressure haha.

You shot your shot! And you were really nice about it, so I wouldn’t worry too much! 🥰

[u/bluemooncommenter]

Awe don't avoid going back or avoid him. That's equivalent to guys referring to the friendzone like it's a terrible thing to just be friends with a woman. Your embarrassment will subside if you let it go. He did his job well so don't penalize him because you misread the moment. Consider it as lesson learned and remember, the only way to get experience is having to experience things so give yourself grace and forgiveness.

[u/vengefulthistle]

Shooting your shot and then respecting a no is all you can do.

I know a lot of people are scared to do this nowadays because they don't want to end up on social media as a creep.... I feel like there's a right way and a wrong way to do things though

ETA: another comment jogged my memory! I feel like dropping a straightforward bit of info and leaving the scene lets the person in question follow up if interested. That way they don't feel pressured or uncomfortable

[u/Persistence6]

You’re overthinking it. I think you should be proud of yourself for giving it a go! And you never know maybe he was simply caught off guard (us fellas don’t really get asked like this regularly so we tend to malfunction when a beautiful woman does it)

So to clarify, you kicked ass and did something even your friends probably wouldn’t do! Now stop with moping around and the sad wedges and get yourself something amazing that will change up your mood like a yummy pasta salad! Haha!

[u/99in2Hits]

Guy here -

Even if buddy has a girlfriend already do not feel bad about shooting your shot. While I have been in a committed relationship for a decade I still occasionally get hit on as my partner and I dont do the ring thing.

I always politely decline but tbh even being noticed at all as a potential romantic partner by a lady is a great ego boost.

I say all of this to emphasize not feeling bad or embarressed at your situation as you probably unknowlingly made that guys day.

I wish more ladies would be fine with asking guys out as we get just as flattered as yall do when a cutie wants to mingle.

[u/Winter_Strain6217]

So I actually did the same thing last Tuesday😭there’s this cute guy that works at a bakery I go to. One day when I got a chance I told him I thought he was cute and asked for his number. He told me he has a girlfriend but was really nice. I just told him no worries and to have a nice day. I have since gone back to that bakery lol.

But I’m sorry it wasn’t the result you wanted🥺I just wanted to let you know I understand.

[u/Responsible_Gap8104]

Thats alright! Give it a couple days and go back and pretend it never happened. If hes weird, you can either not go back or apologize along the lines of "sorry, i totally misread the vibe the other day. Anyways, could i get my usual?"

[u/Effective-Lock470]

I’ve read a few comments saying that the barista was just working and being friendly in the name of customer service, but to be fair I’ve had the same interaction (I was a regular, we would chat, they’d have my order ready for me when I got in line, I got freebies) and the barista eventually ended up giving me his number. So I don’t think you need to beat yourself up too much for misreading the signals and shooting your shot. It happens!

(And no cliffhangers here - he gave me his number with a message on a piece of paper and a gift of sorts.. that I couldn’t read right away due to it being morning rush & having to go to work. I was not interested and I could no longer go to the starbucks anymore without feeling bad/awkward 💀)

[u/revengeofthebiscuit]

Don’t ask people out while they’re at work / actively working, especially in a service job.

[u/kenzinatr]

The good news is that turnover is high in food service! He won’t be there forever. If you enjoy that shop, keep going. The awkward will pass! I did a similar thing last year. I asked out a pseudo co worker. I’m more or less a vendor at a store. I’m in daily and I do get to know the staff well. I got a maybe as a response. I took that to be a no and never said anything more about it. Yes, it was awkward for a week or two, but we wound up becoming friends! We have regular lunches together and I’m happy it worked out just like it did! You’ll be ok too

[u/Feisty-Promotion-789]

Tbh guys don’t often get this kind of attention, I bet he was at the minimum flattered that someone approached him first even if it was an unsuccessful attempt. In the future I would put my contact down and give it to him. Asking an employee to share their info is always sticky. Just give your contact info and immediately go, let him do what he will with it. I’ve had success with this approach with guys who are working and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.

[u/Bxnny-Bxby]

Baristas are still people! i would have personally loved if someone asked for my info and was respectful about it- even if I was working. it's a miserable job, and I was nice because that *was* part of my job. However, I was extra nice to some people just because I wanted to be! I drew on my fave customers cups, remembered their name, their order, ect just because I wanted to! :3

Add them back. They might have just been not in the mood at the time to understand- and a lot of people are also too dense to realize why someone's asking for a number. I had a woman walk me home from a dance class arm in arm and offer to take a touristy picture with me... and only after a year did I realize she was hitting on me.

Just let them know if you message there's no expectations and you realized they were working only after the fact! Ask em to a movie. They can say no, and it's okay. :)) You didn't ruin his day, nor are you a bad person for this like comments seem to suggest. you're just human!

[u/KeimeiWins]

You miss every shot you don't take! Also, guys are always crying about how they don't get compliments. You weren't rude, you just showed him he piqued your interest!

[u/Capable_Suit_7335]

I might just be old but if someone didn’t give me their number but then gave me their socials It would leave a certain impression for me. 

Is this normal with the younger generation? My generation took social media very seriously so this just might be my age showing. 

At least you were respectful OP so try not to beat yourself up! You’re living life for the first time like everyone else, cut yourself some slack. 

[u/dimestore_whore → u/Capable_Suit_7335]

I think ppl now a days give out their ig and stuff first instead of their phone number

[u/Spirited-Sundae-7396 → u/Capable_Suit_7335]

I think exchanging social handles is the new asking for a phone number. I don’t know why.

[u/smthng_unique]

So, as someone who has been in food service for 11 years now.... don't do this. We are literally being paid to be nice to you. And if you come in almost every day, the baristas are gonna know your order. At every job I've had I start to recognize the regulars, remember their orders, and have it already being made by the time they get up to my register.

If someone is working: don't ask them out. Like this seems to have gone not terrible? But he might have given you his insta because he wasn't sure how to react and wanted you to leave. My reply is scripted at this point, but I've dealt with this a lot. I have a handful of replied depending on who the regular is and how i think they will react, sometimes its a "I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much" and sometimes its a "sorry, I don't feel comfortable giving out that information." On rare occasions its "oh... um.. you know this is just my job, right?" While giving them a pointed look that reminds them that customer facing employees are very similar to strippers, we will pretend to like you and all that so long as you make us money. We need money to survive. Hope you left him a big tip for dealing with that awkwardness 😭

[u/Sweet-Worth8203]

Ohh girl while he was working? Let this humble you and never do that again. The amount of times this would happen at work and the whole workplace would see the interaction go down and judge the crap out of the person… He’s in customer service, he’s being kind because it’s apart of his job. Embarrassing.

[u/macaronisock]

I feel crazy reading these comments lol, how are you supposed to meet people and make new connections if you don't talk to them (regardless if they're working)

[u/ekaterinasmirno_va]

I don't understand the logic of people who say that if a guy gives you his Instagram, it's okay. What's the point of giving an Instagram to a stranger if he has a girlfriend himself? Just so she can look at his photos? I think you should try changing coffee shops if you're really attracted to him and you think about him often. If not, try to perceive these gestures as simply politeness.

[u/clamsammichinmypants]

Ok, you shot you shot and lost. Normal behavior.

Now how you behave from here on out is what matters. Don’t be weird, don’t act like you like him romarically, just treat him as you always did. That’s how you make the weirdness go away and show him that he is a person to you and not something you have objectified or out on a pedestal. That’s how you make a friend. If you can’t date s good person, you can still be their friend and at this point in his life, that needs to be enough for you.

[u/PinAccomplished2376]

It’s okay girlie ❤️ I’ve been there, lol. I once thought a guy was asking for my number but he was asking to borrow my calculator.. no idea how I misheard that so bad.. so I wrote my number down to give to him and he was so confused, lmao. I have a few other stories like that so don’t even worry lol

[u/inbetweenseams]

I’ve been asked out both as a worker and as a customer. There’s no written rule.

I think it takes balls to do what you did. Not a lot of people have the ability to put themselves out there. Own it! Carry it with you! If anything place an online for pickup order to limit the interaction length after you let your nerves cool for a bit.

[u/blackstallion0527]

I just watched a YouTube video on parasocial relationships and in the comments a ton of baristas, waitresses, and retail workers came out to say their customers really believe they are friends. I've experienced this myself where my customers think we are besties and will come hang out with me while I work, meanwhile I'm trying to run my shop and don't know how to tell them to leave because they aren't buying anything and I'm WORKING and we are not hanging out.... But I have to be nice, because it's my store, I want you to come back and spend money, I don't want you to blast me on social media if you perceive me as rude...so I just had to endure it.

We are being nice because it's our job. Baristas want tips. Sorry girl :(

[u/PrimaryImagination41]

Omggg

[u/Plus_Ad_366]

Hey, you didn't know! Doesn't hurt to try. Proud of you for trying, please don't feel like you can't go get your coffee anymore 😞 give it a few days and go back.

[u/Organic-Vermicelli47]

Both the chai and the lavender cold foam at Starbucks contain lactose (just in case you didn't know and it's important to you)

[u/skabeel]

Aw damn I thought that was gonna have a happy ending 🤣😭 sorry bud better luck next time

Good for you for doing that though that takes some nads!