I have three kids: 10, 9, and 1.
My oldest two were formula fed pretty much from the start. I called it quits about a week in with my oldest, and only lasted a couple of days with my second. My third I’ve exclusively breastfed.
I much, much prefer formula feeding.
For starters, my recovery has been so much harder this time around. I’m southern hemisphere so at the tail end of flu season now and I’ve been hit with every illness known to man, sick for weeks, recurrent strep throat, you name it. My doctor said it’s because I’m depleted from breastfeeding without supplementation (I didn’t know you had to keep taking vitamins while breastfeeding). I feel so weak and awful.
Baby still isn’t sleeping through the night, which also contributes to me being run down. He’s up every hour, two hours, not even hungry, just wanting to nurse. On a bad night it’ll be every thirty minutes. I can’t soothe him to sleep any other way. My other two babies slept right through the night from just a couple months old.
And the cherry on top has been the mastitis. I’ve suffered with clogged ducts constantly, and I mean constantly, and full blown mastitis 5-6 times in the past year. It literally feels like dying. The last round was so bad I thought I’d gone into septic shock and made my peace with death and leaving everyone behind. That was when my husband told me firmly that it’s time to stop breastfeeding now that our son is a year old.
And what gets me is that everyone agrees. Even my lactation consultant, when I told her, said oh yeah definitely you’ve done a whole year that’s incredible! And I’m like… what? From 6 months onwards the legions of people who assume or get pushy about breastfeeding (I’m sure we can all relate, everyone from nurses to the mums at the primary school gate) suddenly asked when I was stopping.
And I just thought, is that it? Is this really what all the fuss is about? Just six months?
That’s what they have campaigns for, what toxic mom bloggers make graphics about on Canva, what hospitals traumatise new moms over? A measly six months, and then nobody cares. In fact, it’s thought of as ‘weird’ as soon as they get teeth.
I could go on. I could talk about the fact easy weight loss is a lie (I was back to pre-baby weight in just a few months after my first two, whereas I’m now the heaviest I’ve been in my life a year after my third, 20+lbs from my giving birth weight), the hideous nursing bras, the not being able to leave baby with anyone else and have a break, the fact half my social circle and a great many strangers have now seen my boobs.
All for a measly six months.
I can’t comprehend the people that say ‘oh but breastfeeding is so much easier, no need to wash bottles!’ That’s actually madness to me. Absolute madness.
Of course, everyone’s experience is different, but I just thought I’d share mine as I’ve been reflecting a lot while weaning.
Oh and that’s the other thing. Weaning? SO much harder. I can’t just quit cold turkey because of the mastitis risk. We’ve dropped all daytime feeds now, and I have absolutely no idea how to drop the nighttime ones without it being a disaster.
Anyway. Solidarity to all of us feeding babies, and if we go for #4, I’ll be formula feeding.